The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.
Bolu (30) spent his early years in the UK for medical treatment, so returning in 2018 for a master’s felt like a fresh start in a familiar place. In this story, he shares great tips for building community and making friends through activities and social clubs, the pain of being so far away when his grandfather passed, and why he keeps putting off his return to Nigeria.
Where do you live currently, and when did you leave Nigeria?
I live in the United Kingdom (UK), currently and I am based in Manchester. I left Nigeria in August 2018.
I was quite sick as a child, so I spent some of my formative years here, getting treatment. I moved back to Nigeria when I was about five years old. After my treatment, I still had to come over once in a while, for maybe a month or two at a time, for follow-ups and to visit family.
What inspired your move in 2018?
I came to do my master’s; it was a bit of a fresh start. Part of it was because my dad was panicking a bit about my future. I was pleasantly surprised when he offered to pay for my master’s, so I took the opportunity.
I think he wasn’t really sure about my career path because I was doing some writing and working in a few Nollywood and media productions here and there. He wanted a bit more structure for me and was worried about my future, so he suggested I get my master’s in something a bit more formal. I was already somewhat frustrated in Nigeria, so I thought, “Why not?”
When did you finish your master’s?
I did a pre-degree programme for about a year, and then I finished my master’s in early 2021.
But you stayed in the UK after that. What’s behind that decision?
I quite like it here, to be honest. I’ve built a decent community, and I like the country’s structure and organisation. I’m pretty happy here, though I do get homesick quite a lot. I’m very close to my family, particularly my dad and my brother. I miss them, but I also have some family in the UK and very good friends. Even if I move to Nigeria, I think there will still be a bit of a push and pull.
What was life like for you before you left Nigeria in 2018?
I was working as a production assistant on a few Nollywood movies, ad shoots, and things like that. I’m a big film buff, so a dream of mine at the time was to be the Nigerian equivalent of Christopher Nolan. In my head, I was going to change the game.
But I realised it was extremely tough work and I didn’t have the patience at the time to be a director. I used to be hypercritical of Nollywood, but after working on a few productions, the constraints they faced made me a bit more sympathetic. I realised it isn’t as easy as it seems from the outside. There are a lot of forces and moving pieces that make it much harder than I thought. I needed to give them more credit.
Let’s talk about life in the UK. What was your experience when you first arrived?
When I first arrived, I was a bit nervous. I had ties back in Nigeria and people I really cared about, so I knew I was going to miss them. I was a bit anxious at first, but then I started to settle. I made friends in my programme, and I already had quite a few friends from Nigeria who had moved to the UK. Honestly, I’ve always been a bit of a social butterfly, so that part wasn’t hard.
What kind of activities do you get up to?
If you really get involved with social clubs, you’ll easily have an exciting life in the UK. There’s also a lot of opportunity and ease to travelling across the UK and also Europe in a way we haven’t figured out in Nigeria. I’ve really enjoyed exploring here. My friends even call me “waka-about.”
What tips would you give to someone looking to have fun in the UK?
There are social clubs and things people need to try out. It’s hard to make friends in adulthood, but just know there are other people also looking for community. You have to put yourself out there. You might even have to start doing things you didn’t normally do before. For example, I got into fitness, running, and hiking.
Nigerians like movies, so you can join a movie club. Some people do painting clubs. There are a ton of things to do. Parties are also great for socialisation, but you’ll mostly find those in bigger cities like London, Manchester, or Birmingham, and you have to be willing to spend a bit of money.
You mentioned you love exploring Europe. What’s your favourite and least favourite country you’ve visited?
My favourite was Italy. I found it so beautiful, and the weather was warm. It finally hit me how Italy makes so much of the world’s wine. You don’t really get it until you’re there and see vineyards stretching for miles. You can drive for an hour and only see vast vineyards.
My least favourite country was Amsterdam. It’s not bad, but my friends and I walked past the Red Light District, and I found it a bit off-putting. I know it’s a big tourist attraction, but I found it really strange. I was like, “Yeah, I don’t want to see this again.”
You’ve been in the UK for several years now. Do you feel you’ve hit the milestones in your plan?
I’m not close to the milestones, I won’t lie. A part of me is still thinking I need to come back to Nigeria at times. I have career and personal milestones I need to hit. Compared to what 20 or 25-year-old me thought, I’m not quite where I want to be in my career, though I’m making some strides.
I thought I’d be married by 28, with maybe a kid on the way at 30. That doesn’t quite seem to be on the cards right now, but we’ll see.
Are there downsides to the move?
It depends on your situation. I’ll be honest and say my family back in Nigeria is pretty comfortable. If I’m out of a job for a month or two, I can live with a family friend for short periods until I’m back on my feet. Not everybody has that luxury, and the UK can be a bit tough if you don’t have support.
Overall, I feel safer and more stable here than in Nigeria, despite being more privileged in Nigeria.
Have you been back to Nigeria since 2018?
Of course. I try to come back most Christmases. I think I’ve been back for five or six so far. I didn’t make it the first year I moved in 2018, because I moved in August and coming back in December was too soon. The second time I missed it was because of the COVID-19 pandemic. The third time, my dad decided to surprise me, my brother, and my mom in the UK, so we spent it here instead of travelling back. It was a cool surprise, but after a day or two, I think we all would have preferred to be in Nigeria instead.
Do you have a favourite December experience?
My favourite one was probably 2019. It was just really fun. I just remember non-stop fun. I don’t know what was in the water that December; it was just a great time. My close friend’s wedding also added to the fun.
What are your go-to activities when you visit Nigeria?
I have a love-hate relationship with Nigerian concerts. I do enjoy certain artists’ concerts because they tend to start on time and have decent opening acts and sound. But I have such a strong beef with some Nigerian artists because they won’t come out until around 2:00 a.m. or 3:00 a.m. Aren’t you tired yourself? I find it exhausting.
I like plays, so I’ll go to as many as I can. And I also love attending weddings. I enjoy raves too, although the last time I went in December, I was tired by 3:00 a.m., even though it went on for three more hours. I realised maybe I’m getting to the age where it’s time to hang it up.
Of course, I’ll catch up with friends, and I really like my family a lot, so I enjoy spending time with them.
My palette has completely adapted to English food and cuisine, but I still enjoy Nigerian food. The only struggle is managing my fitness when I get back to Nigeria because I love food. I have to work out a lot to keep the weight down. In Nigeria, if I don’t wake up super early to run, it gets very humid and hot, which ruins the running experience.
Do you ever see yourself moving back to settle in Nigeria?
I honestly should have moved back about two or three years ago. I think I’m procrastinating moving back, and all my friends are tired of me saying it.
My dad wants me to work for him, but I’m not sure I want to do that, and I also have some of my own things going on. I don’t want to completely rely on him. I know I sound like a typical nepo baby who wants to do their own thing, but I really do want to have my own things going.
How do you feel about the political shift in the West and the rise in anti-immigrant sentiments?
It kind of ebbs and flows. I just wish there were more bold leadership instead of people scapegoating immigrants. There is a cost to immigration that was not calculated, like planning for assimilation and building cultural bonds. Instead, there has been an emergence of enclaves.
I won’t say I feel unsafe, but it is worrying. I feel like no one knows the direction to lead the country, and because of that, they blame immigrants. That conversation has been avoided for a long time, and anti-immigrant groups take advantage of it. If people in power were honest about mistakes made in the initial immigration policy and had a conversation about fixing it, it would be better.
But in the UK, it is still mostly rhetoric. People are not firebombing things or attacking immigrants in the streets en masse. We still have strong structural protections in place that protect you from overt racism. It’s not great, but it’s not the end of the world. I just wish for smarter leadership to get the country going.
What has been your worst experience in the UK?
When my granddad passed away in Nigeria. I just wish I were there when he passed. He was my paternal granddad, and we were really close. I thought we’d have more time to talk and see each other. That’s the cost of living in another country.
Thank God for technology; in previous generations, once you immigrated, those people were out of sight and out of mind for years. Technology has bridged the gap, but it’s not the same as being able to see someone and hug them and tell them you love them face-to-face. Not being there for his funeral made me really sad. He was a warm and funny man who really cared about me.
Sorry for your loss. What has been your best experience?
It wasn’t down to one thing, but probably 2024 and 2025 in Manchester. I was just having a blast. I had this really great friend group, and we spent all our time together. My life became like a season of Friends; we’d see each other three or four times a week. My job wasn’t too bad, I was travelling as much as I wanted, and I was in a very good mental space. I was really happy. I took my fitness seriously and started running. It felt like everything was just going right.
What are your favourite and least favourite things about the UK?
I hate the weather from September to March when it gets cold, grey, and dark. It’s expensive at times. It’s less communal; sometimes it’s nice that people mind their own business, but I miss that communal feeling in Nigeria.
My favourite thing is definitely my friends. I love my friends. I also really love the UK in the summer, from May to August. There are so many festivals, art events, and theatre. It isn’t free, and it eats into my savings, but I have great memories.
On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in the UK?
I think overall, I’ll give my stay here an eight and a half out of ten. But at this moment, it’s a seven.
Some of my really close friends left Manchester, so that was heartbreak. My brother also moved back to Nigeria. We are really close, so I miss him a lot. And more money—much more money would help. If my friends were back in town and I had more money, it would be a ten.
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