Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
After meeting in 2019, Gloria* (27) and Eromo* (27) slipped into a relationship that was mostly defined by frequent sex and a drug habit neither of them fully understood.
On this week’s Love Life, they talk about how their close friendship led to a relationship, the role substance use played in their bond, and what it took to stay together after things went wrong.
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.
What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Eromo: It was 2019. I was in my third year of uni and had just decided I couldn’t squat with my guy anymore. I’d lived with him since 100 level, using my hostel money to live off campus, but it was starting to feel like I didn’t have my own space. I wanted privacy.
Someone told me there was an available room in an off-campus hostel, so I came to check it out. Gloria was the first person I saw when I walked in. I remember thinking, “Okay, this place might not be so bad.”
She helped me bring my stuff in. I didn’t even ask properly; she just did it and was chatty while at it. She came to my room later that night to ask if I’d finished setting up, and I felt really thankful for her in that moment. We hit it off. From then on, if I needed anything at all, it was Gloria.
Gloria: I already knew Eromo’s face from school. You know those people you see but never talk to? That was him. I just knew he was fine; nothing more.
So when I saw him walk into the hostel and found out he was moving in, I was shocked. I helped him unpack and showed him around. Lowkey, my hostelmates had always joked about having a fine guy in our hostel, and how we’d mark territory with him. Not like we didn’t have guys in the hostel, but they weren’t cool. We had two Deeper Life brothers who kept to themselves.
Eromo was a needed breath of fresh air. In my head, he was also proper fling material. But we weren’t even close like that yet.
Right. So how did you guys go from hostelmates to friends?
Gloria: Light was always an issue in the hostel, so when there was no power, people would gather outside. That’s where it started. Eromo always had new movies on his laptop. We’d sit outside with other hostel mates, watch movies, and contribute money to cook together. It was communal.
But somehow, he became more familiar than everyone else. He was always coming to mine for something. A plate, detergent, anything. There were days he also came to cook in my kitchen and stayed in my room.
Eromo: To be fair, I didn’t even have kitchen utensils. Gloria basically saved me. But she was also really good company. So maybe there were times when I lingered longer than necessary in her room.
I see. Was this when your dynamics shifted?
Eromo: I’ll say that happened during the 300-level first-semester break. The holiday was just two weeks, so I didn’t bother going home. I didn’t want to sit alone either, so I convinced Gloria to stay back.
Honestly, I wasn’t thinking far ahead. I just knew having her around would make the break less boring. She could cook; we’d watch movies and gist. That was it.
Gloria: Well, for me, it was different. I was attracted to Eromo from the jump, but I held back to avoid hostel chatter. But when he suggested staying back, I knew that would mean complete privacy, and I was down for that.
During the break, it was just us and one other hostel mate. Eromo and I spent days watching movies, sleeping, talking, and having lots of sex.
Must have been nice. Did it feel like dating at that point?
Gloria: Not at all. We didn’t have any conversation about what we were doing. We were just doing things people in relationships do over and over again, and it felt nice.
Eromo: We didn’t do the whole asking out thing. We were just always together.
At some point, though, it was obvious. Everyone saw us together and assumed we were together. We didn’t see the need to correct the impression because we’d gotten to the point where we liked each other outside of the sex. By 400 level, we had decided that this was a relationship.
Fair enough. I’m curious, what was it like when you finally agreed this was a real relationship?
Gloria: It was cool. That’s the best way I can describe that period. There was no pressure. We were broke students, just trying to get through school. I didn’t have to impress him or pretend to be anything else. And he didn’t have to do too much to impress me either.
Eromo: For me, it felt like having a partner without the attached responsibility. Gloria wasn’t hounding me for money or anything like that. In fact, she had things for me more than I had for her. I don’t even know if I loved her, but I really, really liked her. Our only issue was a drug problem that I take responsibility for.
Sorry, what?
Eromo: I mean, there were things I was already doing before I met Gloria.
I used to take tramadol and other weird syrup mixtures before we got close. At first, I took it because it helped to delay ejaculation. But it wasn’t only about sex. I took it on days when nothing was happening. It relaxed me and made me sleep better. I used to hide it from Gloria, but she was always going to find out.
Gloria: I noticed it before he even told me. He didn’t go to extreme lengths to hide it either. I’d find the pills inside his stash of pain relievers and other unused packs of malaria drugs. Sometimes he took it before sex or at random times. He said it helped him relax or made things better. I didn’t think much about it at first because it wasn’t being presented as a problem.
In school, you see a lot of things. People drink, smoke and take different substances. It didn’t feel unusual. He also wasn’t acting recklessly or missing classes. So I didn’t think it was anything dangerous.
Right. Eremo mentioned taking responsibility for introducing you. How did that happen?
Gloria: It’s hard to remember the exact period, but I think we’d finished 400L second semester and were hanging back in school for project work. I was on my period, and the pain was insane. I couldn’t find any pain relievers around. As usual, Eromo had tramadol, and he suggested I try it.
I hesitated at first, but the pain made me uncomfortable. So I took it. I don’t even know how to describe how I felt. I felt good and bad at the same time. My body relaxed, but I also felt nauseous. My body was confused. But the pain reduced, and that was good enough for me in that moment.
Eromo: I didn’t think it was a big deal.
In my head, it was just pain relief. I wasn’t thinking long-term or about consequences. I had been taking it for a while, and nothing terrible had happened. I didn’t see why it would be different for her.
Gloria: After the first time, it became easier to indulge whenever I was in pain. The truth is, as much as it was my go-to pain meds, I also started taking it to feel calmer. Sometimes, Eromo would make us take it hours before sex. I didn’t know where he got the drug from, but whenever I needed it, he always had it. It became our normal until we parted ways after graduation.
Let’s talk about life post-graduation. How did that go for your relationship?
Eromo: Things didn’t really end between us after we graduated. School ended, but the relationship was still thriving. We were both in different parts of Lagos, so seeing each other required more effort than when we lived in the same hostel.
We’d often go weeks without seeing each other, but when we did, it felt normal. Like nothing had changed. We’d hang out, talk about our plans, complain about money, rant about Lagos. Everything still felt normal in a way.
Gloria: It wasn’t like we broke up or consciously decided to keep dating. We just kept going.
As Eromo said, we stayed in touch. We’d talk on the phone, check in on each other, and make plans that either worked or didn’t. It still felt like we were together, even if it didn’t look like a proper relationship from the outside.
What about the drug use? Did that still happen when you guys got together?
Eromo: A lot changed when I moved back home to my parents’. I didn’t have the same freedom I had in school. I couldn’t just do whatever I wanted anymore, especially with tramadol. It also became harder to get. The first time I asked at a pharmacy down my street, the attendants looked at me weirdly and asked for a prescription. Also, I started noticing how my body reacted when I didn’t take it.
My body would itch uncontrollably, especially at night. It wasn’t a small itch you could ignore; it was deep, uncomfortable, and disturbing. I’d scratch myself to the point of frustration. Sleeping became difficult. I’d feel restless for no clear reason. It hit me that it might be a problem, and I had to stop.
It wasn’t easy. I won’t lie. But I knew I couldn’t continue like that. Living as though my body was under attack. So I started smoking cigarettes instead. I’m not proud of that either, but it helped. It took the edge off and made the withdrawal manageable.
Curious, did you tell Gloria what happened and why you had to stop?
Gloria: He told me about it on the phone, and he sounded worried. He kept saying his body didn’t feel right and that he didn’t like what was happening. We hadn’t seen each other in months, so I didn’t know how bad it was. But I encouraged him to stop if he felt he needed to.
He also wanted me to stop it. He asked me to promise him I would stop, and I did, I thought I meant it.
You couldn’t stop?
Gloria: It wasn’t as simple. I didn’t have the same physical reactions immediately, so I convinced myself I was fine. I told myself I wasn’t dependent the way he was. Also, he was my usual source, so when he stopped, I assumed the problem would solve itself naturally. But it didn’t.
I was still taking it, just not around him. Life after school was overwhelming. I was dealing with uncertainty, pressure, money stress, and loneliness. It became something that helped me coast through. Plus, it really helped me get through painful periods. So I couldn’t just stop. I didn’t take it every day, but I took it often enough that it became a coping mechanism.
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.
Did Eromo know how bad it was?
Gloria: No. We weren’t seeing each other regularly, so it was easy to hide. When we talked on the phone, I sounded fine. When we saw, I made sure I was fine.
He believed I had stopped because I told him I had.
Eromo: In my head, if I wasn’t around the drug anymore, there was no way it would get to her. I didn’t think to probe deeper.
Sometimes in early 2024, she got admitted to a hospital. I remember getting the call from her cousin and feeling completely lost. She told me Gloria had seizures and had been taken to the hospital. That was the first time I realised things were worse than I imagined.
Gloria: I can’t even explain how helpless I felt, but it was also a wake-up call. I wasn’t thinking about addiction or consequences; I was just trying to get through each day. I was going through two sachets weekly, and my body couldn’t take it anymore. When I got discharged, I swore to stay off it. And I’ve tried to do that ever since.
Right. How did this event affect your relationship?
Eromo: The hospital incident forced us to pause and really look at everything. Our relationship, the choices we’d made, and where we were headed. I felt guilty. AlthoughGloria made her own decisions, I introduced her to the substance. I normalised it. Seeing her admitted made me question my role in all of this. We still cared about each other, but things felt shaky after that.
Gloria: I was ready to move on and close that chapter. But Eromo pushed for us to try again. I wasn’t fully convinced, especially when I found out he’d started smoking. It made me wonder how long it would be before he influenced me into something else.
But I’ve also realised that we really do love each other. The past couple of months have been fairly stable, and 2025 was a good year for us. Sometimes I think everything happened because we had too much free time. These days, between work and hustling, there’s barely time for nonsense.
Fair enough. How do you keep each other accountable?
Eromo: We try to be as honest as possible. I told her about the smoking. She didn’t know because I hid it well, but I wanted her to trust me. Accountability isn’t just about confessing. It’s also about saying the hard things. I’ve told her a few times that I worry she still uses tramadol, and she’s reassured me that she doesn’t. I’m not accusing her. I’m saying it so she knows how I feel. That honesty has kept us going.
Gloria: Everything he said. I’ve also learned not to get defensive. Before, I’d get angry anytime he asked if I’d taken anything. But I realised that his asking actually keeps me accountable. It keeps me alert enough not to give in to temptation.
How would you rate your Love Life on a scale of 1–10?
Gloria: A 7. We’ve come a long way, and there’s still more to write.
Eromo: I’ll say 7 too. I don’t want to do life with anyone else.
*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.
If you or someone you know is dealing with drug addiction, these organisations provide support and rehabilitation services in Nigeria: Synapse Services, Adicare Rehabilitation Home and The Freudian Centre
