Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
Wahab* (34) and Derin* (31) met at a secondary school mate’s wedding in 2018. After years of long-distance friendship, they finally got together in 2021 and married in April 2022. Four weeks into their marriage, a gas explosion burned down their home and hospitalised them for months.
On this week’s Love Life, they talk about falling in love, building a life together, and how a tragedy that almost destroyed everything ultimately made their bond stronger.
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What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Wahab: December 2018. I was in Nigeria for the first time since I left for the UK in 2009. My mum was turning 50 and my secondary school mate was getting married. I’d been away for almost a decade, so it felt like a proper homecoming.
At the wedding reception, I saw this really pretty lady I couldn’t take my eyes off across the room. I wasn’t even sure if she’d attended our school, but I knew I had to talk to her before I left. I asked two of my guys about her, and one of them hinted she was a set mate who left in junior secondary. I approached her later and that’s how we got talking.
Derin: The wedding was also my earliest memory of Wahab. I don’t think I really noticed him in school.
Anyway, I caught him staring. At first, I thought he was trying to figure out if he knew me. When he finally walked over, he introduced himself, and I was like, “Wait, Wahab? From our set?” We clicked immediately and talked for hours—about school, life, what we’d been up to. By the end of the night, we’d exchanged numbers.
Sweet. What happened next?
Derin: We stayed in touch after the wedding. He was still in Nigeria for a few more weeks, so we’d meet up for lunch or just hang out. It was nice catching up with someone from secondary school, you know? Someone who understood where you were coming from. We always had so many things to talk about.
Wahab: I enjoyed our time together, but I knew I had to return to the UK soon. Before I left, I told her I really liked her and wanted us to be in a relationship. But she said no.
Why, Derin?
Derin: Long distance? No, thank you. I’d seen too many people try it and fail. Plus, we’d literally just reconnected. I wasn’t about to commit to someone who lives in another country because we hung out for a few weeks.
Wahab: Yeah, that bit really made sense. Normally, I wouldn’t dream of asking someone out within weeks of knowing them, but I was really drawn to her. I was disappointed when she turned me down, but I didn’t want to force anything.
So we stayed friends for about three years. We’d check in on each other occasionally—birthdays, holidays, random funny messages. Nothing serious.
Derin: Honestly, I didn’t think much of it. He was just someone I knew from school who lived abroad. I had my own life here in Nigeria, and I tried to keep my options open. I entertained a few guys who were interested in me just for the sake of it. Even though I knew of Wahab’s intent, I couldn’t give much thought to it since he was away in another country. But I also didn’t want to commit to anyone fully. I honestly don’t know why.
Wahab: I didn’t really have eyes for anyone in the UK. I’d always known I wanted to marry someone from home, so my mind was set on Derin. I had this blind loyalty, even though we hadn’t committed to anything outside of friendship.
Fair enough. So when did things change?
Wahab: 2021. I moved back to Nigeria for a longer period. My dad had been asking me to help him run his company, and I also wanted to explore some business opportunities. When I got back, one of the first people I called was Derin. Most of my friends had relocated.
We’d go out for dinner, catch a movie, and spend time together. And I realised all those feelings I had three years ago were still there. Even stronger, actually.
Derin: When I heard he was back for good, I was like, “Oh, interesting.” We started hanging out again, and this time it was different. There was no expiration date or a return date in sight. He wasn’t leaving in a few weeks.
Derin, when did you start seeing him in a different light?
Derin: Maybe a month in. We were at this restaurant in Lekki, and he was telling me about his plans for the future — the businesses he wanted to start and the kind of life he wanted to build. I realised he knows what he wants. That’s when I started thinking we could work something out. I wasn’t dating seriously — just a bunch of timewasters who weren’t sure what they wanted. But he felt different, and I wanted to see where it would lead with him.
Wahab: I asked her out officially in March 2021. She said yes this time..
Nice. What were the early days of the relationship like?
Derin: It was easy. We already knew each other’s quirks from those years of staying in touch. There was no pretence. We could just be ourselves.
Wahab: My family, especially my mum, loved her.. She always had kind words for Derin and would occasionally send her gifts. It was the sweetest thing to know that my mum accepted her wholeheartedly. Derin’s family was welcoming too. Everything fell into place.
So, at what point did marriage come into the conversation?
Wahab: Pretty early. We both knew what we wanted from the start of the relationship. By the end of 2021— nine months into dating—we’d had our introduction. Some people thought we were moving too fast, but we didn’t see it that way. We’d known each other for three years at that point. Why wait?
Derin: We got married in April 2022, and it was a beautiful ceremony. Just thinking about it now makes me smile. Both our families came together. It was everything we’d hoped for. After the wedding, we went to Ghana for our honeymoon. It was perfect.
Those first few weeks of marriage were the happiest of my life. We’d wake up together, cook breakfast, and enjoy being newlyweds. Everything felt right.
You said “those first few weeks.” What happened after?
Wahab: About four weeks later, our lives changed completely.
Derin: It was a Saturday morning in May 2022. I was in the kitchen making breakfast— eggs and toast. Wahab was in the living room watching TV. Then I heard this loud pop. Like something had exploded. But before I could turn around, there was fire everywhere. The gas cooker had exploded. I screamed. I tried to move, but the flames were spreading so fast. I couldn’t see anything in the thick smoke.
Wahab: I ran into the kitchen when I heard her scream. The whole room was on fire. I could barely see her through the smoke, but I knew I had to get her out. When I finally saw her on the floor, I grabbed and tried to pull her out, but I also got burned in the process. My hands, my stomach.
I was screaming in so much pain as I dragged her.
Derin: I don’t even remember much after that. I remember coughing, feeling like I was suffocating. Then everything went black.
I’m so sorry.
Derin: I don’t know how long I was out, but when I opened my eyes, I was in a hospital bed. My chest hurt so badly and I couldn’t breathe properly.
My mum was also beside me, and I wanted to ask her so many questions, but my throat was on fire. My mum noticed and just kept telling me to stay quiet. When she realised I was asking after Wahab, she just kept saying he was fine and I shouldn’t worry.
Wahab: I couldn’t even open my eyes very well when I woke up. My hands were bandaged. I had burns on my stomach. I asked the nurse where Derin was, and she told me she was in another ward.
You were in different wards?
Wahab: Yes. Because of our injuries. I had burns, and she had severe smoke inhalation. They kept us in separate rooms.
Derin: I kept asking when I could see him, but the doctors said I needed to focus on recovering first. My lungs were injured from the smoke. I could barely talk without coughing.
How long were you both hospitalised?
Derin: I was there for about six weeks. Wahab was there longer — about four months.
Wahab: Those months were hell. I couldn’t see my wife. I couldn’t hold her. We’d only been married for a month, and we were both lying in hospital beds, fighting for our lives.
Derin: We mostly communicated via phone calls. Our families would bring us phones, and we’d call each other every day. But it wasn’t the same. I wanted to be next to him, to hold his hands, to see for myself that he was okay.
Wahab: Honestly, those calls were the only thing keeping me sane. Hearing her voice reminded me that we were both still here, still alive. We tried to stay positive, but we were both scared. Scared of what this meant for us and our future. We’d just started our lives together, and now everything was falling apart.
Derin: I remember crying on the phone more than once while asking him, “Why did this happen to us?” He didn’t have an answer. Neither of us did.
You mentioned you left the hospital first, Derin. How did it feel leaving him behind?
Derin: Relieving, but also hard. I was discharged after six weeks, but I was still recovering. I couldn’t walk properly. My breathing was still bad. I had to do physiotherapy to build my strength back.
I wanted to visit Wahab, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have the strength. Just getting out of bed was exhausting. My family kept telling me to rest and focus on my own recovery. But I felt so guilty about not being there for him. He was still in the hospital, and I couldn’t even visit. What kind of wife does that? We’d only been married a month, and I was already failing him.
Wahab: I didn’t feel that way entirely, though. She was sick. She needed to recover, too. But yeah, it was hard. I felt alone. I kept drawing up different scenarios in my head. Perhaps her family members want her to leave, or maybe she was considering it herself. Just the craziest thoughts forming in my head.
I can imagine. So when did you finally leave the hospital?
Wahab: I left around October and moved in with my parents. Our place had been destroyed by the fire. Everything we owned — our furniture, our clothes, our documents — burned to dust. We had nothing left.
It was a particularly challenging period that tested our faith and union. We were both still in pain — physically and emotionally. We couldn’t be intimate because we were still recovering. We couldn’t even have a normal conversation without one of us breaking down.
Derin: People visited and offered condolences as if we’d died. And some of them were saying things that still managed to get to us. They said maybe the explosion was a sign and we weren’t meant to be together. Just imagine.
How did that make you feel?
Wahab: Angry. Confused. I started questioning everything. Like, did we make a mistake? Is this punishment for something?
Derin: I didn’t believe that. However, hearing it over and over again got to me. I’d look at Wahab and wonder if he also had similar feelings about our union being a mistake.
Did you ever discuss those doubts with each other?
Wahab: Not really. We were both broken. We didn’t have the energy to dig into those kinds of conversations.
Derin: We weren’t being romantic or intentional about our marriage. We were just two people who’d gone through the same trauma, trying to survive each day.
Curious. What got you through that time?
Wahab: Family. Without them, I don’t think we would’ve made it. We couldn’t work for a while, and we never had to worry about money. Both my parents and Derin’s pulled their weight in every regard. We also had friends, siblings and cousins who surrounded us and wanted us to be as comfortable as possible.
Derin: And we were also there for each other. Even when we couldn’t talk about it, we were there. Wahab would sit with me when I cried. I’d hold his hand when the pain got too much. I don’t think we’ve cried together as much as we did during that period. It took two full years before we could even think about the future. We’d planned to have a baby in our first year of marriage. We’d planned to travel, to build a business together. None of that happened. Everything just stopped.
Wahab: By late 2023, we both realised we needed a fresh start. Everywhere we went in Nigeria reminded us of what happened. People still looked at us with pity. We couldn’t move forward. So we moved to the UK. It was the best decision we made. We could finally breathe again when we found ourselves in a place where people barely knew what we’d been through.
How is your marriage now?
Derin: Stronger. I know that sounds strange, but it’s true. We went through hell together. We saw each other at our lowest. And we’re still here.
Wahab: I look at her now and think about everything we survived. If we can make it through that, we can make it through anything.
What about children? You mentioned you wanted to have a baby in your first year.
Derin: We’re taking our time now. We’ve been through so much. We’re not rushing anything. When it happens, it happens. Currently, we’re focused on being happy. On actually enjoying our marriage.
That’s fair. What’s the best thing about being with each other?
Derin: The fact that we both stay present even when it’s not the easiest thing to do. When everything fell apart, when people were telling us it was a sign, when I couldn’t even visit him in the hospital, he stayed. That’s the kind of man I want to build a life with.
Wahab: Derin’s the strongest person I know. She went through hell and came out still believing in us. Still wanting to fight for this marriage. That’s everything to me.
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How would you rate your love life on a scale of 1-10?
Wahab: 9. We’ve survived the worst, but we’re still healing. Still figuring out who we are after everything that happened.
Derin: 9 for me too. We’re not perfect. We have scars. But we’re here together, and that’s what matters.
What does the future look like?
Wahab: Hopeful. We’ve lost so much time, but we’re rebuilding. The life we wanted is still possible. It’s just starting later than we planned.
Derin: We’re going to have kids. Travel. Grow old together. The explosion slowed us down, but it didn’t stop us. We’re still fighting, and we’re not giving up.
*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.
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