Sunken Ships is a Zikoko weekly series that explores the how and why of the end of all relationships — familial, romantic or just good old friendships.
Though she had her reservations about mixing work and romance, Hannah* (24) wanted to give dating a co-worker, Teniola* (25), a chance.
However, after only two months of Teniola’s inconsistencies, Hannah is glad that she kept their relationship a secret.
In this Sunken Ships, she shares how their relationship began, the surprising call that caused it to end and why she’s never dating a coworker again.
What’s the major lesson you learned from trying out an office romance?
I learned that I should never try such a thing again. I just wanted to test the waters, I didn’t know it would lead to so much hurt.
Tell me how it all started.
Back in April 2025, I started a role at a new job. I noticed Teniola when I started because he was cute, but I wanted to keep things professional. Things changed in July, when Teniola* and I were assigned to work on the same project. We became very close and began chatting online and in the office every day. I liked his vibe, so even though I was hesitant at first, I allowed myself to indulge my feelings.
What exactly drew you to him?
Aside that we were working in close proximity, Teniola made it a point to compliment me every time he saw me at work. After a while, I warmed up to him.
Okay, so why were you initially hesitant?
I wasn’t a big believer in office romance. I didn’t want to be caught in a situation that could make professionalism difficult. I also didn’t want any embarrassment at work, but I thought it would be different with Teniola.
How did you guys start dating?
In July, he asked me out in the cutest way on WhatsApp. He was learning a new language at the time, so he wrote a few words, asking me out on a date in French. Of course, I said yes.
How did the date go?
It was perfect. We went out to lunch and just talked. Talking to him was so fun, it was easy to agree to be his girlfriend.
How were your early days together?
They were great! He was everything I wanted. The only thing was that I insisted on us keeping our relationship a secret from our coworkers.
Why? Was dating between coworkers disallowed where you worked?
No, but I had heard many horror stories about office romances that went wrong, and I didn’t want my new colleagues to give me weird looks because we had ended things. I didn’t want the extra attention at all.
So if you were keeping things lowkey and he was almost perfect, how did things go wrong?
First, in September, I got taken off the project that had brought us closer in the office, so we weren’t spending as much time together at work. He had finished from Law School earlier this year and had his call to bar ceremony in October. I think he was overwhelmed with preparing for it. Between that and our new separation at work, our communication basically fizzled out.
How did this make you feel? Did you try to talk to him about it?
I felt really sad about our communication because our relationship was still new, so I tried to speak to him once about it.
Did he reassure you?
No. He was very short with me and seemed stressed, so I kept my distance because I didn’t want to make him any more overwhelmed than he was. We went from long, winding conversations to simple “Hi”s and “Hello”s. It was weird.
Wow. How did you put up with that?
I figured that everything would go back to how it used to be when he was done with his Call to Bar ceremony, but othing changed. In the first weekend of October, he called me and gave me the worst news.
What did he say?
He beat around the bush but eventually said he wanted to break up with me.
Whoa, out of nowhere?
Yes, I was so hurt and surprised. I agreed, though, and I was grateful that we had kept it a secret from the others at work. What hurt me the most, was how he treated me after.
How did he treat you?
He treated me like a complete stranger at work. He didn’t even respond when I greeted him.
Ah. That’s rude.
So rude. It annoyed me, so I gave him the same energy and kept my distance.
Did he try to reach out to you after giving you the cold shoulder?
Surprisingly, yes, he did. About a week after, he started sending me messages and calling me, saying he had made a mistake and wanted us to get back together. He even got one of his team members to come and beg me to respond to him.
What did you do?
I finally agreed to have a quick chat over lunch, and I told him I didn’t see us getting back together. He had done enough to hurt me, and I thought our relationship was better off just being professional.
I love that you stood on business.
I had to. I was already afraid of how office romances that go sour can affect you at work. I didn’t want to find out more about it. Working with a broken heart was already bad enough.
Do you think you and Teniola could at least become friends again even if a romance between you doesn’t work in the future?
No, I’m not interested. He’s a good colleague but nothing more than that.
What about office romance? Do you think you’ll try again in the future?
At all, o. I’m even more afraid of them now after my brush with Teniola. Please let work remain work. I can go and find romance outside.
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