Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
David* (31) and Ebby* (25) were introduced by family in late 2023, but nothing about their spark felt arranged. On New Year’s Day 2024, David drove through a sit-at-home order in the East just to see her, and a mountain-top date sealed what felt like destiny.
On this week’s Love Life, they talk about the faith and intentionality that shaped their journey, the family doubts they had to push through, and why they believe they’re custom made for each other.
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What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Ebby: My first physical memory of David was on the first day of January 2024. It was technically an arranged meet. We were introduced through my mum, who connected with David through his Bishop. He came to pick me up from my house for our first date. It was memorable, which is why we’re here today. We connected on a deep level. I also found David really charming and caring, even though I didn’t expect much from the date. I’d gone on a couple before and thought this would be another one.
Did you have any first impressions of him?
Ebby: Well, my mum had shown me his picture a day before, so I had an idea of what to expect. At first glance, he wasn’t really my type. His dressing leaned a little too much “church pastor,” and in my head, I was like, “we don’t want that here.” But I still went on the date out of respect for the people who introduced us.
David: My earliest memory of Ebby goes back to October 2023, when my Bishop from our family church in Anambra sent me her picture. He was deeply invested in helping me find love and strongly believed Ebby was meant to be my wife. At that time, I was not thinking about relationships because of my past experiences. I wanted God Himself to reveal my wife directly, so I ignored the message, especially after hearing she was not even based in Nigeria. I didn’t want to deal with long distance.
Fast forward to December 29 when I travelled home for Christmas and New Year. I went to see my Bishop, and he brought Ebby up again during our conversation. He asked why I had ignored his earlier message. Out of respect, I listened as he pressed further, thinking perhaps it was God nudging him. Before I left his office, I took her number. I was still not entirely convinced, but I made a note to call.
On December 31, I finally picked up the phone. That call turned into one of the most beautiful two-hour conversations of my life. We spoke like we’d known each other for years and laughed a lot. That conversation led to a date the next day, January 1, 2024.
I was in Anambra and she was in Enugu, but I took the risk of driving through a sit-at-home order in the East, braving insecurity and the fear of unknown gunmen just to see her. It was worth every mile because not only did I meet Ebby, I also met her mum that day. That was the beginning of something truly divine.
Sweet. Any reason you still hesitated to call after getting her number?
David: I still wasn’t convinced, even after talking to my Bishop. But he later sent me her mum’s number and asked me to call her. I introduced myself, and she said good things about my bishop. She also mentioned that he was a family friend, and if I came from him, she trusted I was a good man. Then she started telling me interesting things about her daughter. Between the 29th and 30th, I prayed and fasted, asking God for direction. Everything that happened from then until the 1st felt divinely orchestrated.
Ebby: I wasn’t aware of that conversation with my mum. All I knew was that she gave me details of someone coming to take me out.
Right. Let’s talk about the date. How did that go?
Ebby: We visited about three restaurants because we wanted a lovely spot. Enugu isn’t as aesthetically pleasing as Lagos, so that was a struggle. I’m from the States and he’s from Lagos, so we had high expectations. One place didn’t have light, and another was too rowdy. We eventually ended up on a prayer mountain at my mum’s church. It’s a beautiful spot with lovely views. We sat there for about three hours and talked; not just surface-level first-date questions. We went deep, sharing our dreams, fears… it wasn’t about the food or our outfits.
David: Everything she said. We skipped the random “what’s your favourite colour” questions because of how the conversation flowed. Ebby was transparent. She told me about her strengths, weaknesses, mistakes, purpose, and faith. It was real. I just knew she was my wife from that date. I knew my fasting and the risky drive weren’t in vain.
So, what happened next?
Ebby: I left the date crying because it felt like my spirit confirmed I’d just met my husband. We were both on our journeys to finding partners, and everything converged. I was strict about what I wanted, and honestly, if I didn’t know he was my husband that day, we wouldn’t be here. He ticked off everything I wanted, which shocked me because I expected another random date. We became official that day. It wasn’t expressly said, but we both knew. I even cut off everyone else I was talking to.
Over the next couple of weeks, we talked more and spent time together. David returned to Lagos and invited me over. I was supposed to return to the US on January 12, but I extended my stay. That time with him was when we did all the fun date stuff and visited prettier restaurants.
Curious, was this when David asked you out?
Ebby: He never asked. We skipped the whole girlfriend phase.
David: It was straight to marriage. Like she said, we knew we would marry after the mountain date, even if we didn’t say it out loud. By the time she visited me in Lagos, we were already courting.
A couple of weeks later, she returned to the US, while I went to see her family officially with gifts and my intention to marry. By March 2024, we had our introduction, and everything just started falling in place. Ebby returned to Lagos in July, and we had our court wedding.
How did you both feel about Ebby returning to the US?
Ebby: Honestly, we had just met, so there wasn’t enough time to build the kind of connection that felt like a deep separation. After our civil wedding in July, though, leaving was heartbreaking. That was when it hit me. But at first, it was more of a test. I wanted to see how intentional he’d be when I wasn’t around. I wanted to see how he communicated and showed up for me. I think we both did a good job. I was in the US when we had our introduction, and things still went as planned.
David: For me, I was already convinced she was my wife. Even though she left for America, I kept hope alive because I knew our story was divinely orchestrated. Long distance is hard, but we didn’t let it affect us. We held the fort for five solid months.
From January to July, we spoke every day. Despite my high-pressure job and the time difference, we kept communication consistent. I set up to five alarms on my phone to remind me to call her. I even factored in her work schedule. It was intentional, hard work. I also sent her gifts from Lagos to America. Those five months tested our love, but we held it together.
Love the intentionality. Curious, since family matchmade you, did they play any role in your relationship afterwards?
Ebby: At first, everyone had butterflies—our families, us. But soon, there were realistic concerns, especially about the distance and the speed of our marriage. They wanted us to wait at least a year to build stronger connections. But David and I were insistent.
David: Even though they matchmade us, it felt like we had to prove our love to them. But we held our own and showed them we were genuine. My family had questions at first, but they trusted my judgment. As the first son, they’d seen how clear-headed I was about what I wanted.
I also had friends who questioned why I married someone so far away, especially since I’d always dissuaded people from doing long distance. But in the end, everyone accepted it.
Ebby: Those early days weren’t easy. I didn’t have the traditional “just married, me-and-my-husband” phase. After our civil wedding and church blessing in July 2024, I stayed in Nigeria for only a month. During that time, we began to spend more time together, experiencing each other on a deeper level, but always with the reality hanging over us that I was leaving for the US again.
In December 2024, we had the second phase of our wedding — the “big Nigerian celebration” in Anambra. After that celebration, I truly felt the reality of being a wife. We woke up, went to bed, ate, and simply enjoyed being with each other as husband and wife.
It was a very interesting season for me because I spent more time in Nigeria, learning what it meant to share life and space with someone. It was filled with new experiences all at once, and just when I was beginning to settle into that rhythm, I had to leave again in March 2025.
David: The early days were beautiful. We did a lot of church activities together and grew our bond as a couple. We only had to contend with family insisting we were rushing. Everyone wanted to know why we were in a hurry. If we weren’t Christians, they’d have assumed she was pregnant. But I think it was just God’s purpose for us.
Living together was new. I now had someone in my space, and we had to make important life decisions together. I looked forward to coming home from work just to be with my wife. We also deliberated on where to live. Ebby is a Canadian citizen living in the US, and we were trying to figure out where to stay, especially because of our God-led NGO mission (Saved2Save International) to rescue young people from addiction. We needed to know where God wanted us to base the work He entrusted to us. They were really good days.
I imagine it was lots of smooth sailing. But did you ever discover any differences about each other?
Ebby: David is easy to live with. The only challenge for me was cooking. I grew up in the US where you have access to anything you want to eat, but here I was with a husband who loves fresh meals all the time. It wasn’t spelt out when we were courting, but I noticed it. Still, he never imposes because he knows I don’t enjoy cooking. I just had to learn to do my best and make sure he’s well-fed. For anything heavy or extra, we outsource.
David: Differences are easier to accommodate when you’re with your person. Some things I would’ve frowned at before, I now find ways to work around with love.
For example, I’m the organised partner, but my wife? Not so much. I’d get home and find items moved out of place. If she’s looking for something, she’d ransack everywhere like a storm passed through. At first, she thought it would be a problem, but communication and acceptance helped. Since I know she’s not the most organised, I try to keep things in order while she’s learning.
Food is another. I’m a traditional Anambra man with umami taste buds. I love good food. Ebby loves good food too, but it’s never her first instinct to cook it. If we crave a certain dish, her first thought is where to order or which chef to call. But that can never be an issue. We outsource because we have more ambitious goals — like our God-given NGO and making money. I had a chef before meeting my wife, so cooking wasn’t a big deal.
Fair enough. Have you guys had a major fight yet?
David: I’d say most of our trying times came before marriage. The five months apart stretched us — that was when we fought the most. Family differences and expectations also caused tension. We’re both from prominent families in the East. If you’re not mature, those things can affect your relationship. But what didn’t kill us made us stronger. Right now, we know ourselves. Anything that makes us question our love would have to be invented.
Ebby: We’ve had differences, but I’ve never let my mind wander to dark corners of wondering if I’m with the right person. It’s easy to fall into that trap, so you have to be intentional about protecting what you have. Communication has also helped. We both know nothing is unfixable. Whatever the issue, we lay it on the table, talk through our opinions, and reach a compromise.
We’ve never had explosive blowouts. In the middle of arguments, I’ll tell David to close his eyes so we can pray. That way, tension doesn’t get the chance to take root.
David, you mentioned earlier that you’re both from prominent families. Does that ever put pressure on your marriage?
David: I’m not trying to please anyone. Everything Ebby and I do is based on our own path. Our parents have amazing unions, but we’re writing our own script. We don’t want anyone imposing or telling us what to do.
Ebby: For me, it was just the fact that I married young. Some family members felt I should still be in school, and others said we were moving too fast. Maybe there was a bit of pressure to prove them wrong. But at the end of the day, I knew what I wanted and went for it. I wouldn’t compromise or force myself into something just to prove a point.
What’s the best thing about being with each other?
Ebby: David really has my back. I can be myself with him. I didn’t grow up in an expressive environment where you could laugh, smile, and be free. But with him, I can. He’s patient, and he leads by example. If he wants me to do something, he’ll do it first. He never attacks me about what I didn’t do. He makes me laugh a lot. He’s prayerful and truly submitted to God — I respect that. There’s no bad news I could get that he wouldn’t help me process. Before marriage, I’d cry and scream, but David knows how to calm me.
David: God really answered my prayer with Ebby. She’s my partner in every sense. She’s my backbone and brings out other sides of me. People say I’m too serious, all about work, but Ebby shines a light on my jovial side. These days, you’ll find me full of joy and happiness because of her.
Neat. How would you rate your love life on a scale of 1–10?
David: I’ll give us an 11. I’ve found my person; the blood of my blood, the flesh of my flesh, and the rib of my rib.
Ebby: 10. Life has really improved since I met David.
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