The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.
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How long have you been with your partner?
It’ll be a year in September.
How did you meet?
Felicia and I are in the same department, so we’ve known each other since 100 level. We started talking consistently in 200 level because of a group project. Then I started liking her, but I wasn’t sure about approaching her because Felicia is reserved and gives everyone this “don’t come near me” vibe.
Another thing that held me back was my financial status. I’m a student who fully depends on pocket money from my parents and the occasional ₦10k from my brother. A relationship really wasn’t my priority.
But somehow, I found myself making efforts to get closer to Felicia. I eventually asked her out after half a semester of pretending I just wanted to be her friend. She said yes, and here we are today.
How come you went from “a relationship isn’t my priority?” to ending up in one?
Omo, I don’t even know. I guess the heart wants what it wants. I liked her and just decided to give it a try. Fortunately, a relationship hasn’t been as financially consuming as I thought it’d be.
My guys used to tell me ladies only wanted men who could spend on them, but Felicia isn’t like that. At least, she doesn’t bill me. She’s a freelance writer and gets gigs from time to time in addition to pocket money. So, it’s not like she needs money. I’m even the one spending money on her because I feel like I have to.
What does this spending typically look like?
It’s mostly food. Our uni provides meals for students, but I don’t always like the food. So, sometimes, I buy food and when I do, I buy for Felicia too. That’s about ₦5k – ₦10k weekly on feeding. The only other expense is sending her airtime, and that happens once in a while.
A few months ago, I bought a cake and paid for her photoshoot for her birthday. That cost me ₦55k, and I had to take out some of the emergency money I saved in my Piggyvest to pay for this. This was during semester break, and there was no pocket money, so I didn’t really have money like that.
We also went on a beach date/picnic with some of our friends during that period, and I paid the ₦5k per person fee for both of us. Our friends handled the food and snacks.
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Does Felicia also give you gifts or money?
Money? Do girls give guys money? I don’t expect her to give me money. She gives me gifts, though. She got a gift set for my birthday: belt, cufflinks and body spray. She also gave me a card and body spray for Valentine’s Day.
Oh, I forgot to mention that I bought her flowers for Valentine’s Day. That cost me ₦25k.
What kind of money conversations do you both have?
Felicia is the financially savvy person in our relationship. She’s the saver, and I’m clearly the spender. It’s good we have that balance.
She introduced me to savings apps last year after I sold a phone my aunt sent me and had extra cash. I think I sold the phone for ₦250k. Felicia suggested I keep the money so I wouldn’t spend it unless in an emergency. That’s the money I eventually took from to settle her birthday bills.
Felicia also put me on to mutual funds sometime this year, and while I haven’t started investing in it, it’s definitely on my mind for when I start working.
Do you both have safety nets?
My safety nets are my parents and the ₦100k+ in my Piggyvest. I know Felicia has savings, but I’m not sure how much she has. She’s very prudent, though, so I guess it’ll be a reasonable amount. I can’t exactly ask. The last time I jokingly referred to her money, it almost caused an issue.
How so?
We were having a conversation about a movie. I’m not sure how we got to talking about money, but I said something like, “I don’t mind being a house husband. I know you have money to take care of me.”
She took offence at that, and we had a small fight. I was just joking, but she said, “So you’re the type of guy who will let a woman feed him?” I was just like, “As how?”
We shouted at each other a bit and didn’t talk for a day, but we eventually settled.
I later understood she reacted like that because of her family’s situation. Her mum is the breadwinner, and it causes issues at home. Felicia doesn’t want to be in her mum’s shoes, so my joke struck a nerve. That’s understandable. I don’t think any girl wants to feel like she’ll be the one spending money on a guy. I don’t even want that.
What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?
I want to learn a skill before I graduate from school next year. I’ve started learning to code and hope to start making money from it soon. Felicia has also been trying to get dollar-paying writing gigs, and I hope that happens for her soon. I just want both of us to be successful in our respective fields.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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