Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
Korede (31) and Susan (26) met on Twitter in 2021, and what started as casual TL banter slowly turned into a whirlwind romance neither of them expected.
On this week’s Love Life, they talk about saving themselves for marriage, how their very different relationships with money tested their bond, and why they chose to marry quickly before temptation caught up with them.
What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Korede: My earliest memory of meeting Susan in person was when I first saw her in church in 2021. She was with her sisters and came to say “hi”. Before that, we were Twitter mutuals and had chatted occasionally. We connected easily online because we realised we attended the same church.
I think I sent her a DM asking if she went to my church, and when she confirmed, I said I’d see her in church the next day to say hi.
Susan: We still can’t remember who followed who first on Twitter. But yes, that’s my earliest memory of Korede too — the day he finally slid into my DMs.
Right. So, what was the interaction like when you met in person?
Susan: I knew what to expect since we’d already interacted online. I’d seen his pictures, knew he was this friendly, jumpy person with lots of energy, and he didn’t disappoint. He seemed genuinely happy to meet me in person. Even though our conversation was brief, there was a lot of warmth.
Nice. And what happened next?
Susan: We continued talking online.
Korede: Yeah. It wasn’t a “Oh my God, I need to date this person” situation. We just continued being friends. I’d been talking to her online, now I’d seen her in person, and she was just as cool.
Also, we were dating other people then, so we weren’t even thinking romantically.
At what point did things progress?
Korede: Susan’s relationship ended in 2022. Mine ended shortly after. Once we were both single, we started seeing each other differently.
Curious. What led to the breakups?
Susan: Mine didn’t have the potential to grow into anything solid. It was a lot of “let’s see how it goes”, and I don’t enjoy riding on vibes. But I kept holding on because I didn’t want to hurt the guy.
I eventually realised it was more selfish to hold on and hurt him later. So I ended it.
Korede: My relationship was actually quite serious. But we had different timelines and wanted different things. She wanted something I couldn’t give at the time, which caused a lot of friction. So for everyone’s peace, we ended things. I’d go into the details, but it was a dramatic breakup, and I don’t want to revisit what’s already buried.
Fair enough. Were you both aware of each other’s single status?
Susan: Korede was still dating, so I didn’t tell him I broke up with my partner. He found out during a random conversation.
Korede: My relationship ended a few months after hers. Even before it ended, I already knew it was hanging by a thread. I’d already checked out, so there wasn’t a big emotional crash when it ended.. Throughout that period, Susan and I remained friends. She knew what was going on. I’d talk to her about how I was feeling and how I was hurting.
When my relationship ended, I looked at Susan and thought, “This girl actually has sense.”
That’s when our friendship started to shift. I wasn’t saying, “Let’s date,” but the energy changed. I started paying closer attention. I wanted to really know her and see if her sense was “relationship sense”. So our conversations became more frequent.
Susan: This phase continued until September 2022, when we officially started dating.
Curious, Susan. Were you in the headspace for another relationship at this point?
Susan: You know what? I wasn’t. After my breakup, I stayed away from relationships. I wanted to focus on making money and personal growth. I had a few talking stages but didn’t proceed with any; I just didn’t want to waste my time anymore. If I was going to enter a relationship, it had to be the real deal.
So, at what point did things change?
Korede: I guess I swept her off her feet.
Susan: Please.
But yeah, it’s hard to say when. I think it happened when our conversations became more frequent. When you keep talking to one person and shut everyone else out… things fall into place. I eventually realised I was always looking forward to talking to him.
Was there anything that made him stand out from the other talking stages?
Susan: I liked that he wasn’t just a churchgoer but also genuinely invested in his relationship with God. He had sense and knew what he wanted, which I found attractive. He was also funny, warm and super caring. It was just hard not to fall for him.
Right. Talk to me about when things became official.
Korede: September 4th, 2022. I can’t ever forget.
Susan: He asked me out on a date, and I said yes. I already knew the question was coming, so after church, we went to the beach — my favourite place in the world — and he asked.
Korede: You know how people say, “When I met you, I knew I’d met my wife”? That’s kind of how it was for me. She had all the qualities I wanted in who I’d want to marry. She wasn’t one of those “give me money” people. Of course, I spend on her, but she wasn’t trying to turn me into an ATM without reciprocating.
Also, she’s very prudent with money. Let’s say she had ₦400k and needed a phone. Instead of saying, “Can you help me add ₦200k to buy a ₦600k phone?”, she’d rather buy a ₦200k phone and keep the remaining ₦200k in savings. I respected that.
And physically, Susan’s really pretty and always smiling. I also fell for her because I smile a lot and I’m fond of cheerful people. When I asked her out, I already knew I wasn’t just asking her on a date — I’d kind of concluded that this relationship would go the distance.
Makes sense. What were the early days of dating like?
Korede: They were sweet. I was constantly posting about us on Twitter. It was the first time I dated someone, and never once thought about breaking up. You know how sometimes you’re in a relationship and wonder if it’s working? I never had that with her. We talked and laughed a lot. We’d go out when we could, but it wasn’t often because it kind of felt like a long-distance relationship; she lived on the outskirts of Lagos. Still, we stayed in touch and enjoyed being in love.
Susan: Butterflies were flying everywhere. They’re calmer now, but the beginning stage was full of so much excitement. He’d send voice notes confessing his feelings, which was sweet. We once talked for four hours on the phone, and I’d never done that with anyone.
Must have been nice. Did you discover anything new about each other?
Korede: One of my biggest discoveries was that the same thing that attracted me to her — her prudence — could also be a problem. She’s very frugal. I could send her ₦50k and say, “Go spoil yourself this weekend,” and find out she locked ₦40k away and spent only ₦10k. That used to annoy me.
I knew she was used to saving, but it started feeling excessive. Even when I wanted to buy her something nice, she sometimes said, “Just send me the money instead.” It made me feel like, what’s the point?
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Why was this the case for you, Susan? Was it a ripple effect of past experiences?
Susan: Growing up as a girl, I constantly heard, “Always have your own money.” I read books, attended seminars, and all of them hammered on savings. I also saw what happened to people who didn’t have emergency funds, and the idea of not having money when you needed it scared me.
So when I had money to spoil myself, I’d think, “This isn’t enough for the big luxury I want. Why waste it on small treats?” I don’t even enjoy food that much, so that kind of ‘spoiling’ didn’t appeal to me.
If he wanted to buy me a fancy bag and I already had bags, I’d be like, “Can we use the money for something more useful?” He believes in enjoying money when it comes. Me? I’m already thinking about savings and the future.
Did you guys ever find a resolution?
Susan: We talked, but nothing really changed. Another thing that upset him was that I never asked for money. I just couldn’t. I wasn’t used to asking anyone for help like that. I’d rather work and earn my own money. If you gift me something, that’s fine. But to ask? No.
Korede: It’s not easy to undo something someone has been used to for years. It was rooted in her upbringing. Imagine having a girlfriend who would rather stress herself finding ways to raise ₦20k than just ask you for it. She’d start calculating: “If I remove ₦10k from here, add ₦5k from there…”
And then I’d find out and go, “I don’t get it. It’s just ₦20k. Why didn’t you ask me?”
I’m curious, Susan. Was this relationship with money just with Korede?
Susan: I hardly ever ask anyone for money. Most times, people just do things for me. It’s rare to hear me say, “Please, can you send me money?” I prefer working for what I have.
Korede: She eventually came up with the perfect excuse: “If I need it, I shouldn’t have to ask. You’re supposed to see the need.” So I started sending her money randomly. I stopped waiting for her to ask. That was the temporary fix that helped us coast for a bit.
Right. Let’s move on. When did you know you’d fallen in love and wanted marriage?
Susan: There was a day I visited him, and he showed me a book he’d written over 100 confessions in — things he wanted to see happen in the lives of his friends, family and future wife. Some had already come true, and he marked them off.
I was shocked. It showed how intentional he was. I also saw how he treated his friends with real care and respect. I thought, if this is how he treats friends, how much more someone he wants to marry?
But I didn’t rush. I prayed. I asked around about him. Feelings can be blinding, so I wanted to know who he really was. Eventually, everything checked out, and heading towards marriage felt natural.
Korede: I knew I wanted to marry her from the first day we met. I don’t know how, but I just knew. And we’re Christians, right? I was madly attracted to her, but I didn’t want us to cross any lines. So I said, “Let’s just marry quickly so we can enjoy each other guilt-free.”
Wait. No intimacy throughout the relationship?
Korede: Not at all. We went out and all, but physical intimacy was off the table. Of course, I wanted to, but I held back. I’d see her and think, “God, I just want to eat this babe.” But I couldn’t.
That’s why I was pushing for early marriage — before temptation dragged me by the neck.
Was there any resistance from Susan?
Korede: Yes. She wanted to have serious money before marriage. I kept telling her, “Let’s just do this thing. The money will come.”
How did you convince her?
Korede: I don’t remember what I said exactly. I just knew I wanted to get married early. Maybe that conviction rubbed off on her. We got married on April 25th, 2024.
Sweet. Was marriage any different from dating?
Susan: Yes, it was. We saw each other only once a week and talked mostly online when we were dating. Now that we live together, we see everything — how I cry when I’m tired, happy, or overwhelmed.
We also realised we do things differently. We both cook but clash in the kitchen, so now we just take turns.
And it’s different when we fight, too. Before, I could end a call or ignore messages. But now, we’re in the same space and he wants to talk it out, while I just want time alone. This took some getting used to. I’d say sorry after an argument and move on, but he’d want to break it down and analyse what happened so we could avoid it in the future.
Korede: It used to annoy me a lot. She wanted me to argue and still be soft at the same time. She expected me to say, “I’m angry but I still love you, babe.” And I’m like, “I’m not a robot. I have feelings too.” She used to think saying “sorry” was enough. But I’m like, “No, let’s talk about what upset me and how we can handle it better next time.”
That was a big one for us.
Susan: There are times I’d cry during an argument and try to explain myself, and he’d be so uncomfortable. I’d have to tell him, “Ignore the tears, just listen to what I’m saying.”
How do you handle the tears, Korede?
Korede: I’ve had to learn that her crying means different things. Sometimes it means I’ve said something hurtful; other times it’s just how she processes her emotions. I had to learn how to tell the difference and respond accordingly. Sometimes I’d just calm down and say, “Okay, I’m sorry.” Other times, I’d finish my thoughts regardless of her tears, then give her space.
Susan: He also does a lot of reflecting. Sometimes he’ll call me and say, “That thing you mentioned. “I’m working on it. It won’t change overnight, but I’m trying.” That helps me stay calm.
Korede: I try not to repeat the same mistakes. I work on myself and adjust where I can.
Nice. Has the money issue resurfaced in your marriage, and how have you navigated it?
Korede: One of the things I did early on — maybe not the textbook way to do it — was to stop “sending” her money. I just told her, “If you need money, here’s my account. Transfer it yourself.” She has access to my phone, passwords, and everything else. I wanted her to feel like she didn’t have to ask. It made her comfortable with the idea that the money was ours.
Susan: It was hard at first. He’d notice I hadn’t sent anything to myself in a while and still go ahead and send me money, even after saying he wouldn’t. He’d hand me his phone and say, “Take whatever you need.” Even now, I often feel guilty sending large sums. I prefer withdrawing in small batches of ₦50k. I think the highest I’ve transferred to myself is ₦200k.
At once?
Susan: Yes. I’m still learning to be okay with it, but that method really helped. He was trying to help me get over the mindset that I needed permission to access money meant for both of us. So he never answered when I asked, “How much should I take?” He just wanted me to get comfortable using what we had together.
Curious, Susan. How do you manage finances at home, considering you’re naturally a saver?
Susan: It’s still a work in progress. I’m still trying to reduce his meat portions sometimes.
Korede: God, abeg.
Susan: But seriously, I’ve learnt that some things must be spent on. You can’t save everything. He’s helped me see the value in enjoying life too, not just saving for the rainy day.
For example, my husband likes big chicken. So I make sure we have that, even if prices have skyrocketed. We try not to overspend, but we’re also not suffering. He’s a careful spender, so I trust him with money. I just focus on making sure the house has what it needs.
Makes sense. Have guys had a major fight or disagreement yet?
Susan: Not really.
Korede: Even when we argue, we don’t go our separate ways to cool off. I prefer to talk things out immediately.
Susan: However, he once called me “ungrateful.” That one cut deep. I don’t remember what caused the fight, but it had something to do with money. He’d been doing something for me financially, and I said or did something that made him feel like I didn’t appreciate it.
Korede: I didn’t mean it harshly. I just felt like she didn’t realise I was doing these things from a place of love, and it hurt. I used that word, and I think it really triggered her.
Susan: I didn’t talk to him for two days. That word? It shocked me. I’m the kind of person who says thank you constantly — he even teases me for overdoing it. So hearing “ungrateful” from him felt like an attack. And it’s not even like I asked for anything — he was doing it on his own. Then for him to turn around and say that? I was hurt. = I never thought of leaving the relationship.
Korede: Same here. I’ve never questioned our relationship. When we fight, I know it’s something we’ll sort out. We might not talk for a bit, but I’m never thinking, “Did I make the wrong decision?”
How did you guys resolve this, and has that shaped how you communicate your issues?
Korede: I’ve realised she has a separate dictionary in her head during our arguments. I might say something like, “You’re ungrateful,” and in my mind, it’s just how I felt, not necessarily an insult. But she hears something completely different. So now, I’m more careful with my words. Instead of saying, “You’re ungrateful,” I’ll say, “I feel like you didn’t appreciate what I did.” That way, I’m not using heavy words that trigger unnecessary reactions.
Susan: Yeah. That sums it all up.
How has being with each other changed you as individuals?
Susan: I’m still smart and reasonable, but I’m not who I was. The quality of my life has gone up. I used to just say what someone did to hurt me and move on, whether they apologised or not. Now, I sit with my uncomfortable feelings and try to process them instead of shutting down.
Is that just with him or in your other relationships, too?
Susan: Mostly him, but it’s spilled into other personal relationships.
Korede: Being with Susan has helped me understand women better. I used to think she wouldn’t care about gifts or gestures because she prioritised saving, but she did. I’ve realised that even when women say they don’t mind, thoughtful gestures still matter. For example, last Christmas, she wanted a photoshoot. I said we had bills, and she was hurt. I didn’t get it then, but I do now.
My communication has also improved. I prefer in-person interactions—hanging out physically, gisting face-to-face. But she’s pushed me to be better. Now, when the phone rings, I don’t ignore it. I’m slowly getting better at it. However, this doesn’t extend to Susan. She has my attention all the time.
Right. How would you rate your love life on a scale of 1-10 ?
Susan: A 10. I usually wake before him and lie there staring at him while he sleeps. I’m content. What people see outside is sweet, but what we have privately is even sweeter.
Korede: I’ll say 9 out of 10. We’ve only done a year. We still have decades to grow, learn, and evolve together. When we’re 80 and we’ve weathered everything life has to offer, maybe I’ll say 10.
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