Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
Busayo (26) and Alabi (32) met in person for the first time at a mutual friend’s wedding in 2023, but nothing prepared them for how quickly things moved after.
On this week’s Love Life, they share how a casual connection turned into a full-blown relationship, what it’s like navigating marriage a year in, and why they’re convinced they found their person in each other.
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.
What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Busayo: My first real memory of Alabi was at a mutual friend’s wedding in January 2023. We’d exchanged a few texts prior, but that was the first time we met in person. Our friend had connected us in 2022, but it wasn’t anything serious then — just brief conversations and check-ins.
Alabi was the best man at the wedding. However, even with all the activities going on, our mutual friend was particularly intentional about creating time for us to connect. He made sure we weren’t just guests who had met online but people who could get to know each other. I remember Alabi kept looking for reasons to hold my hand that day. And when he wasn’t close by, he’d find me across the room and wink. I won’t lie — it was sweet, and I felt very seen.
Alabi: My memory starts from when our friend first connected us in 2022. I’d just finished university and was looking for internship placements. I was looking into the University of Ilorin Teaching Hospital and needed information about the environment. Our friend said he didn’t know much about the area, but he could link me to someone who had attended the school — that was Busayo.
He shared her number, and I reached out. She provided me with some information, but I eventually passed up on the internship. Even though our chats didn’t lead anywhere serious, we occasionally stayed in touch.
Months later, our friend was getting married and made me the best man. He kept talking about how I needed to settle down, and how he had the perfect person in mind for me. I realised it was Busayo when he sent her contact again. We laughed about it and agreed to meet at the wedding.
Sweet. Were either of you single and searching at the time?
Busayo: I was single, but I wasn’t searching. I wasn’t putting myself out there in any way.
Alabi: I was searching very much. But it wasn’t just about dating — I was actively looking for a life partner.
When I saw Busayo in person, I had a strong conviction that she was the one, and we would get married. I remember saying to her, “I’m going to marry you.”
Busayo: The thing is, I also felt that conviction deep in my heart that we belonged together. However, I didn’t share this with him at the time.
I feel like I’ve missed something. Had Alabi shared how he felt about you before the wedding party?
Alabi: Not really. However, we had several leading conversations that pointed towards my intentions.
Busayo: Yes. There was also a lot of conversations around love, family and relationships. We were already asking each other about kids, relatives coming to live with us…questions people would only ask when they married or were about to. So even if it wasn’t said outrightly, it hung somewhere in the air.
I see. Did he say anything when you met at the party?
Busayo: He did. We found a few minutes alone during the wedding party — nothing long, but just enough to have a moment. Then he said something like, “I really like you, and I’m serious about you.” However, I felt that the whole thing was happening too quickly, especially with the wedding energy and music in the background. It was a lot.
Alabi: I felt like I needed us to have our own proper moment, outside of the noise and the pressure. So, I suggested a private hangout after the wedding to talk without distractions.
Neat. When did this private hangout happen?
Alabi: Two days after the wedding. I would describe it as one of the best moments of my life.
Busayo and I got even deeper into our conversations about family, life, career and aspirations — things we’d briefly touched on over text. I thoroughly enjoyed every moment spent with her.
Busayo: We were supposed to go somewhere nice, but because of all the expenses he had incurred from his best man duties, we agreed to meet at my place. We had a bet on who was the better cook, and decided to have him make vegetable soup. I got all the ingredients ready before he arrived, and after he did, he threw it down in the kitchen and didn’t disappoint at all. It was a nice time.
My younger sister was also around, and the way he connected with her made me smile. Later that day, when we had a quiet moment alone, we dove into another round of deep conversation about our values and dreams. In the middle of that, he asked me out again — this time in a more direct way. I told him I needed time to think about it, but he was persistent, and I ultimately said yes. We sealed it with a kiss.
Curious. Why were you eager to get the ball rolling, Alabi?
Alabi: I was searching, and at that point, I’d found what I wanted. I was drawn to her intelligence, her laser-like focus on her goals, and her family-oriented mindset.
She’s pretty, too. She had everything I’d been praying to have in my wife, and I couldn’t let go. Everything seemed to click into place with her.
What were the early days of your relationship like?
Busayo: They were pretty easy and peaceful days.
Please, tell me more.
Busayo: I didn’t have to do too much. I didn’t have to pretend to be someone I wasn’t. I could be myself around him and still be appreciated for that. It was beautiful.
It was also really easy to trust Alabi. He told me everything I needed to know without being asked and gave me access to his personal belongings. That was something I was just experiencing for the first time; no one had ever done that for me. He wasn’t judgmental and would always want to understand things from my perspective. It was clear that he wanted me in his life.
Even on days when I felt uneasy about the quickness of it all, he reassured me.
I remember telling my sister, “I think I’m going to marry him. My spirit just feels settled.” And she didn’t even question it — she could see I was happy.
Alabi: I saw those early days as preparation for marriage. I already knew everything about Busayo — her background, her personality, her hobbies — so I was only preparing to pop the question and build a life together.
There were minor issues, but they were addressed promptly with intention and care.
What kind of issues?
Alabi: I don’t remember the specifics. I just know we had our fair share and found a resolution.
Busayo: The only issue we had was communication. I was always ready to confront problems head-on on while Alabi needed more time. It was initially conflicting and difficult to navigate, but after some time, I realised he preferred taking his time.
I had to learn to be patient a lot, and I also had to be intentional about my approach and ensure I wasn’t presenting issues in an aggressive or infuriating manner. However, I should note Alabi was always open to apologising.
Alabi: The thing is, whenever we have issues, I prefer to reflect on what has happened and pick out the role I played, after which I immediately map out a plan to prevent such from happening again.
Now, after I’ve done that, it doesn’t feel necessary to talk about it. She’s now made me understand the importance of addressing issues as soon as they happen. I’m learning to adjust.
Busayo: I remember one of our issues happened during our wedding. We had agreed on our invitation list, and he went ahead and invited someone against our initial agreement. I felt bad about it, but around the same time I also did something to piss him off and he had to accommodate my excess. We realised we’d always offend each other, but we agreed to always seek a quick resolution before they escalate into a fight.
Speaking of getting married, when exactly did you know you’d fallen in love and wanted to commit forever?
Alabi: I’ve always known that since I met her in person. The funny thing is, she met my mum before I officially introduced her, and even though my mum had no idea that we were already talking, she liked her naturally. That played a role in how easy it was for us to sync and the deep connection we shared from the outset.
Busayo: The moment for me happened three months into our relationship. He invited me to meet his parents, and they asked me so many questions. The realisation that I liked this person a lot hit me as I answered the questions. He also visited my parents the following month, and they grilled him with questions. At the end of it all, they also liked him. Our families syncing like that made it all so beautiful.
Alabi: We got married on April 20, 2024.
Curious, Busayo. Did you talk about your feelings with anyone else, considering you felt it all happened so fast?
Busayo: I spoke with my brother and sister. My sister and I are super close, and she was there from the beginning. She agreed that our relationship was moving at a fast pace, but she could also see that I had never felt so strongly about anyone. Her only advice was to enjoy and make the best out of it without overthinking. My brother, on the other hand, wanted me to trust my instincts.
And that you did. Has marriage been any different from dating?
Busayo: Oh yes. Despite our many conversations, there were things we didn’t know about ourselves, especially in the context of emotions until we got married. It’s been a mix of hard and easy navigating these differences, but we’re still here riding it through.
It’s easy to get carried away sometimes and want to misbehave or not acknowledge your partner’s feelings, but I think that’s where prayer and gratitude come in. Every day I wake up grateful to have him in my life. Yes, we may not always agree, but we’re doing life together. I’ve trusted this man with my life, and I know he’ll always have my back.
It was also challenging to navigate marriage alongside my career. At some point, I had to change jobs, which came with a set of challenges, but I knew it was all for the better. In this short while, I think we’ve gone through every phase with the knowledge that things will get better, and we’re making sacrifices for the good life we want.
Alabi: I agree with everything she’s said. Marriage hasn’t been drastically different from dating, but it has shown us sides of each other that we didn’t fully know. We’ve had to grow in patience and understanding. I’ve had to learn to be more emotionally available, and she’s had to adjust to my communication style. We’re still learning, but I think the best part is that we’re committed to figuring things out together—no matter how tough it gets.
How would you say being with each other has changed you over the years?
Busayo: My sense of commitment and trust has gotten significantly better. Before I got with him, I always had reservations about trusting people entirely due to past disappointments. I also tailored my expectations of people. But Alabi has shown me that vulnerability doesn’t always lead to hurt. I also expect more from people now, not in a bad way, but because I’ve seen what it looks like to be treated right.
Alabi: I’d say being with each other has pushed us to be better in all ways — career, personal life and interactions with others, and it’s been beautiful because we consciously strive to make ourselves better.
In particular, my communication style has significantly improved. I’m learning to open up more, rather than shutting down whenever there are issues.
Right. How would you rate your love life on a scale of 1-10?
Alabi: I’ll give us a 10. We’ve had a fantastic and beautiful journey so far, but I hope and strive to be a better husband for her.
Busayo: Can I say 100? Okay, maybe an 8 — there’s always room to grow, but I’m truly happy. I don’t want to think about anything that could be more beautiful than what we currently have.
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.
