• Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.


    Nairalife #362 bio

    What’s your earliest memory of money?

    I became conscious of money around the age of 15. I noticed my family wasn’t buoyant, so whenever money entered my hands — mostly gifts from family members — I held onto it like treasure because it didn’t come often.

    Tell me more about your family’s financial situation

    Things were much better when I was a child. Then I lost my dad in 2009, and my mum, a civil servant, had to single-handedly provide for five children on her little salary. 

    My dad was a prominent figure, but he had six wives, and after he passed away, everyone just faced their lives. Sometimes I think that things would have turned out differently if my dad hadn’t married many wives. His reason was that he was his family’s only child, and he didn’t want his own children to be alone. 

    I remember once, after my dad’s death, my mum asked one of his friends to help with my school fees. The friend put three mint ₦100 notes in my hands. Of course, that wasn’t enough for anything, and I sat at home that term. My dad died when I was in primary 6, and I couldn’t go to school for two terms because of school fees. My mum eventually sold most of her jewellery and wrappers to get me back to school. 

    That was one of several situations that pushed me to notice our financial situation and start seeing money as something to hold onto. The minute I finished secondary school in 2015, I took up the first opportunity I found to make money.

    What opportunity was that?

    I got a job helping my dad’s friend sell goods at his provision store. I worked 12 hours every day, and he paid me ₦8000/month. Most times, I didn’t get the full amount because customers owed me. I don’t really know how to confront people, and when customers defaulted on payment, I had to take the loss. 

    I worked for this man for about a year. He also had a son who was my age mate, and had gotten into a college of education. His son introduced me to gambling in 2016.

    How did that happen?

    He came to the shop one day, and I overheard him and his dad talking about how they had staked ₦200 on a bet and won ₦6000. It sounded like big money to me. I mean, they’d just made more than half of my salary in a day. The idea captured my mind, and I thought about it all day. 

    The following weekend, I went to a betting shop and observed the virtual games. I stood there for like 30 minutes, and every result I forecasted in my head came true. I felt like I was already a hero and decided to play. I didn’t have any money, so I asked someone there for money, promising to refund him when I won. The person was like, “That’s now how they do here.” 

    But I was confident I would win, so I ran home, took ₦3000 of my boss’s money, and ran back to the betting shop to play. I played and played until I lost all the money. 

    I should have stopped after I made the first couple of losses, but I kept thinking I could win it all back. I sha lost everything, and that’s how my journey with gambling started. 

    Phew. Did your boss find out about the money you lost?

    He didn’t immediately realise the loss, so I took more of his money back to the betting shop a couple of times to try to win back what I originally lost. When my boss eventually noticed, he sent me to his second store, where he sold alcohol, to work for a few months to repay him. 

    This didn’t stop me from gambling. I was returning home late every night from work and still finding time to gamble. But I was somewhat in control of the urge.

    However, the habit worsened when I entered the polytechnic later that year. My mum gave me ₦1500 to take to school and manage. It was too small to do anything, so I turned to the betting shops again with the hope of making more money. Still, it was loss upon loss. 

    One time, I was returning from the betting shop and got into a car accident. Thankfully, I didn’t get injured. I managed to pause gambling until I finished my national diploma programme in 2018.

    What did you do next?

    I returned home for a while and searched for admission to do my HND programme. Unfortunately, things were very bad at home. My younger brother was in secondary school, and my eldest sister was in school for her HND programme. In my house, the girls’ allowances were prioritised to prevent them from doing what they weren’t supposed to do in search of money. 

    That meant there was no money for me. When I eventually got admission, my mum managed to raise only ₦30k out of the ₦45k fee. She told me to hold on or go to school and manage while she tried to raise more money for me. I couldn’t wait, and I went fully back to betting. 

    I gambled away the entire ₦30k. I was too ashamed to tell my mum I’d lost the money, so I turned to loan apps to borrow money. I gambled away most of that too. When I was left with only ₦6k, I told my mum I was travelling to school to resume. 

    You weren’t, I guess?

    Not really. I just wanted to see if I could work for a while and raise the money back. On the bus to Kaduna (where the school was located), I lied to the driver that I was an orphan and had no money or anywhere to stay. Honestly, I really had nothing. I didn’t even have a mobile phone because I’d sold it and gambled with the money.

    The driver connected me to someone who helped me find work at a popular junction in Kaduna. You know those guys who load buses and control vehicles on the road? That was what I did. During the day, I worked at the park, and at night, I slept in a classroom on the school campus. 

    What was the pay like for loading vehicles?

    I made ₦20 – ₦50 per car I loaded. Sometimes I made more by carrying passengers’ bags and escorting them to the roadside where they’d find buses. The roadside buses were cheaper than those in the park. So, when I found a bus, I’d negotiate with the driver and get a cut out of whatever fare they settled on with the passenger. My share was usually ₦500. 

    I earned ₦600 – ₦1000 per day. I managed to save enough to get a small phone after a few weeks, and my income typically went to food and data. On days when I was extra broke, I’d sneak people’s SIMs (mostly the people I stayed with in school) to borrow data for my phone. 

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    Were you still gambling during this period?

    I was. I’d even moved to gambling on my phone. It wasn’t as bad as when I was in school, though. I was consciously trying to save for my HND. 

    However, after months of hustling and enduring terrible living conditions, I managed to save only ₦18k. I still had to use that to get a better phone. Ultimately, I decided to just return home and find a better job. 

    I deferred my admission and lied to my mum that I couldn’t complete the registration because we hadn’t completed the fees yet, and it was late. I convinced her that the school held the money she gave me and that I only needed to complete it later to resume school. In reality, I hadn’t even paid anything. 

    While at home, someone helped me get a SIM registration gig. There was no salary; the telecoms company just gave me the registration kit and free SIMs. Whatever money I got from selling the SIMs was mine to keep; I just needed to make sure I sold them so my boss would get his commission from the company. I made ₦15k from the gig and stopped when it stopped moving.

    Next, I worked as a “boy boy” for someone who sold tiles. My job was to load tiles for his customers. I worked there for a month, and he paid me ₦15k. My thinking was that I’d gather all the money and return to school. Unfortunately, I loaned ₦15k to a family friend, but he didn’t pay it back. I was back to square zero. This was now 2020.

    You couldn’t return to school

    I barely had money to survive. So again, I returned to gambling. I won some money here and there, but instead of stopping, I’d think, “Let me just try and make more.” Eventually, I’d lose everything I won.

    Feeding was so difficult. I mostly depended on my brother to feed me. Sometimes, he’d give me ₦1k for two days. Other times, I’d starve all day, then eat bread and soft drinks at night. I did multiple random jobs for money, but all my income still went back to gambling.

    One day, hunger made me remember I had some SIMs I hadn’t yet sold. So, I talked to another guy who was also into the SIM registration gig, and he offered me ₦800 for them. When I took the SIMs to him, I met him sitting in front of his shop, with his phone beside him. When he went inside to bring the money, he left his phone outside, and I quickly pocketed it, intending to sell it to buy food. 

    Unfortunately, I didn’t realise the phone was playing music through a Bluetooth speaker. So, when I quickly walked away, thinking I’d successfully stolen the phone, the speaker disconnected and the music stopped playing. The guy immediately knew it was me. 

    Hmmm

    A crowd quickly gathered, beat me for hours, and then locked me in a public toilet. Fortunately, they didn’t go the jungle justice route; they handed me over to the police instead. I slept in jail that night. My mum and brother settled the police with money before they released me the next day.

    After that, I took a job with a lotto shop, basically helping the owners oversee the shop for ₦10k/month.

    Was that the best decision, considering the gambling problem?

    I actually didn’t play the lotto; I preferred football betting and virtual games on online betting platforms. Ironically, one of these platforms had a shop just beside where I worked. 

    So, I began going there every day; sometimes, I even played without money. They knew I worked close by, and they waited for me to sell before settling them. I also started using my boss’s money to gamble and constantly owed him. After plenty of quarrels and demands from my boss to refund his money, he eventually got me arrested — my second time in jail. Again, I called my brother to bail me out.

    At this point, my whole family was worried. They were like, “What is happening to you? You’re the cool type.” They didn’t understand why gambling had such a hold on me. I didn’t understand either.  

    That wasn’t the last time I was arrested.

    It happened again?

    Yes. While I was working at the lotto shop, I had stolen another phone and sold it for ₦30k to repay a debt to my boss. After the jail issue, I returned to the area where the person I sold the phone to lived. I was there to sell some more SIMs. That’s how his neighbour saw me and asked me to wait, saying he wanted to tell me something. I didn’t know he was going to bring the police. 

    Apparently, the phone’s owner had tracked it, and the person who bought it from me had gotten into trouble. This time, I went to an actual prison. I met multiple people in the cell, and the “boss” beat me and ate my food. 

    Phew. Did your family intervene this time around?

    My brother initially refused to come, saying he was tired of me. It was my mum who did the running around. I spent a week in that prison. 

    The phone’s owner lied, saying I broke into their house to steal the phone and some gold. They claimed the value of everything I stole was ₦600k. I knew I stole just the phone, but I also lied that I didn’t actually steal anything. In fact, when I sold the phone, I’d created a fake receipt online and claimed my girlfriend had sent it to me. To this day, my mum still believes I didn’t steal it.

    After plenty of back-and-forth, they agreed we should pay ₦300k. My mum liquidated her rice business and borrowed money to raise ₦150k before I could leave prison. We were supposed to pay the balance in ₦40k instalments, but my mum paid the first instalment and stopped paying. Thankfully, they didn’t disturb us.

    In 2021, I secured another admission to a polytechnic for my HND programme. 

    What was the plan to fund it?

    I didn’t have money, so I involved my mum. She was reluctant to raise money for me because of all the trouble I’d gotten into in one year. It took a lot of pleading and assurances that I would avoid trouble before she paid my school fees and let me go.

    Since I could only afford tuition, I had to squat with someone in school. I lived on this person’s grace. At first, things went well. He was a praying type who loved reading, and I also started reading. However, he started complaining about the living expenses, since he handled most of them. I was ashamed.

    During that period, my mum sent me ₦4k to help cover food expenses. I felt somehow about only contributing that amount. I needed to do something. I needed to earn money. So you know what I did?

    You gambled it away?

    Yes. I lost everything. I even borrowed ₦10k more from the bet shop owner to play more, believing I would win. Our agreement was that I’d pay him ₦15k back. 

    I still lost, and now, I was in debt. The guy seized my phone, and I told him I could sell it so I’d pay him back. Then I offered my roommate’s laptop as collateral. I didn’t tell my roommate.

    I sold the phone for ₦12k. Yes, I gambled away the money I made from the sale.

    Ah

    See. I forced myself to stop after I only had ₦5k left. I had to lie to my roommate that I had forgotten his laptop at school — thankfully, it was the weekend — while I searched for ways to repay the bet shop owner before Monday. I was unsuccessful.

    My roommate eventually found out and got the school security involved. Those ones held me until my mum came to pay the money. This time, it was ₦20k. She was saving the money to pay for my sister’s ND admission. This delayed my sister’s school plans.

    My roommate sent me out of his room. I had to sleep in the streets and bathe in a friend’s house for a couple of weeks. 

    That’s tough

    I can’t even go into all the things I went through. My remaining time in school was a cycle of gambling and doing random things for money. One of them included washing cars, for which I was paid ₦300 per car.

    Around the time I graduated in 2023, I started making some money from Facebook giveaways. Here’s how it worked: I followed popular pages on the platform, and a lot of them offered giveaways to super fans who shared their content and engaged with their posts. Sometimes, I got gigs to share giveaways on behalf of these pages with other fans. I was making ₦40k – ₦60k monthly. 

    I stopped gambling at this point because I was making regular money. I even had a girlfriend. Then one day, my girlfriend learnt that my younger sister’s boyfriend had bought her an iPhone. My girlfriend got jealous and implied I wasn’t doing things for her. I was triggered. Me too, I wanted to do something for my girlfriend and even upgrade my own phone. So, I returned to gambling.

    Omo

    I had ₦150k in my account and lost everything in the twinkle of an eye. I started begging to feed again. See, it was a terrible time. I don’t think I’ve recovered from that loss. Now, I don’t even make money from Facebook anymore because Mark keeps restricting accounts.

    I got a teaching job in March 2025 that pays me ₦60k/month. In fact, when I joined, my salary was ₦45k; they just increased it to ₦60k in February 2026. I know how much this gambling addiction has taken from me. Since I graduated in 2023, I haven’t gone for my NYSC because I can’t afford ₦45k to travel to school, sort out my JAMB regularisation, and clear my results.

    I’m constantly in debt. I took an advance loan from my February salary before it even entered, and I only collected ₦25k as salary. I’ve done fake transfers a few times because of hunger. I really don’t want to bring shame to my family again, but it’s so hard. 

    All my problems started because I wanted to win ₦6000 with ₦200. The people who inspired me to gamble have stopped and are doing better with their lives, while I’ve been trapped for 10 years. I must’ve lost over ₦2m to this problem.

    I’m sorry you’re going through all this. What do you think makes it difficult to stop gambling?

    I don’t know. Whenever I have money, something just keeps telling me, “Go and gamble.” It’s difficult to ignore that urge, especially when I’m lonely. 

    I don’t have friends or anyone to talk to, mostly because I stopped trusting people after experiencing how my dad’s friends treated us. The only problem is that the loneliness encourages my addiction. I haven’t told anyone the extent of my gambling problem. My family has an idea, but they don’t know it’s this bad. 

    I know it might be hard to leave it totally, but I believe if I can stop for three months straight and focus on my other talents, I’ll be free.

    Tell me more about these talents

    I believe I have what it takes to make money from social media. I also have some musical talent. I recently won a competition a musician hosted on Twitter, but he didn’t pay me. Maybe he got busy. I know I can become someone in life; I just need someone to groom me on the right path. 

    Fingers crossed. What kind of life does your current income afford you now?

    My salary allows me to afford food, and also support my siblings once in a while. At 28, I should be doing more for myself and for my family. My mates are married, but I can’t even think of that. Right now, I’m owing ₦70k. It’s a struggle.

    How much do you think would make you comfortable?

    ₦100k/month would be great. In fact, the ₦60k I earn now is not bad if I manage it well. I plan to arrange it so my mum receives my salary, and I just collect money from her when I have a genuine need until I’m able to stop gambling.

    Let’s break down your typical monthly expenses

    My salary was just increased to ₦60k, so this is how I hope to spend it monthly:

    NairaLife #362 expenses

    I live with a colleague in a room at the school, so that cuts out rent and transportation costs. This savings plan is with the hope that I can stop gambling and stick to saving with my mum. 

    Is there anything you want right now but can’t afford?

    Honestly, right now, it’s just fruits. I’m fasting, and as I speak to you, I don’t know what the plan for tomorrow’s fast is. I just head to the mosque daily to break my fast and collect the fruits they share.

    I hope things get easier. How would you rate your financial happiness on a scale of 1-10?

    2. I can barely afford my needs, and I can’t even tell people because they’ll say, “But you’re working. Where’s your salary?” Where do I want to start explaining from? Anyway, I’m good sha. I’m used to the hard life. I just pray things get better soon.


    If you’re interested in talking about your Naira Life story, this is a good place to start.

    Find all the past Naira Life stories here.

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  • The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad. 


    Precious (25) is a co-founder of Beeva AI, a beauty-tech startup, currently living in Germany. In this story, she talks about quitting a stable job at Flutterwave to chase a tech entrepreneurship dream in Ghana, and how five months of “locking in” led to her eventually finding her tribe within Berlin’s running and tech communities.

    Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

    I live in Berlin. I left Nigeria for Germany in March 2025.

    Was that the first time you left Nigeria?

    No, it wasn’t. In 2023, I moved to Ghana and lived there for a year. Then I moved back to Lagos, stayed for a few months, and finally moved to Germany, where I currently live.

    What made you move to Ghana?

    I had just finished university, and I got into the Meltwater Entrepreneurial School of Technology (MEST) Africa Training Program. I quit my job as a product manager at Flutterwave and went to Ghana for the program.

    Were you working at Flutterwave while in university?

    Yes, I was.

    What made you take that risk of leaving a stable role for an uncertain program?

    It was a huge risk because my career was going very well at Flutterwave. When I submitted my resignation, it was rejected at first, and there were counter-offers to make me stay. Honestly, I never thought I would go to Ghana to be an entrepreneur. I always wanted to work in finance at places like the Bank of America. That’s where I thought my career journey would go.

    But I’ve realised that I’m more excited when I don’t know what to expect. I felt like I knew what my trajectory would be at Flutterwave. It was too linear, too predictable. I needed something more.

    In early 2023, my friends and I made a sort of pact that 2023 would be “our year of international opportunities.” We even created a WhatsApp group and basically pushed ourselves to apply to as many international opportunities as possible. We went on an application spree. I found the MEST Africa application and just applied to see what more there could be.

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    How was the experience in Ghana?

    Ghana was life-changing. There were about 50 of us from 19 different African countries in the program. I learned so much about interacting with people from different cultural backgrounds. It really changed my perspective.

    Did you get to see much of Ghana outside the program?

    I lived in Accra. To be honest, it was expensive, and I was just a humble student at the time, so I didn’t go out a lot. Still, I don’t think there is much to see in Accra compared to Lagos, for example. But I did like the Kwame Nkrumah Memorial Park. We also went on a trip to the Volta Region, which was super nice. We went to the mountains and did hikes. I love sports and active movement, so hiking was great.

    The only things I didn’t like in Ghana were some of the food and the weather. It was actually hotter than Nigeria.

    What about the people?

    Ghanaians are nice. I was in a bit of a bubble with other members of the program, but the Ghanaians I did interact with were very sweet.

    Did you make new friends during the program?

    I met a lot of amazing people. I still have a relationship with practically everyone from the program. I can pick up my phone now and call them. So having that network is a great benefit of the program. Also, one of my co-founders at Beeva AI is from Ghana, and she was also in the program.

    So you moved back to Lagos after Ghana. What was the plan then?

    Honestly, I didn’t have a plan. At the end of the program, everyone pitches their startup with the opportunity to get a $100,000 investment. But my startup wasn’t selected, so I returned to Lagos with no job, and the stipends from the program had stopped.

    I had a job with a US-based startup lined up as a buffer, but after my first month back in Nigeria, the founder ghosted everyone without paying. It was messy. And I had already used my savings to get an apartment in Lagos, so I was basically stranded.

    Wow. How did you get by?

    I was broke, but I didn’t want to call home because I struggle with being vulnerable like that.

    If I wrote a book about my life, the chapter about those five months in Lagos will be titled “The Great Lock In.” I had no choice: either eat something or get eaten. I had to get a job, or I had to get an investment for my startup. I applied to over 200 opportunities in one month.

    So how did the Germany opportunity come up?

    Interestingly, at one point, I stopped applying for jobs. I am a Christian: I prayed, and God told me to stop applying, which was so weird because I had no money. So, I stopped and put all my focus into finding funding for my startup. 

    Then one day, I got an email from an accelerator program in Berlin. They liked what I was doing, so we started the interview process. In November, I got the final acceptance email. They told me I could join the March 2025 cohort so I would have time to get my visa.

    Thankfully, in January, a former colleague from Flutterwave randomly recommended me for a remote product manager role. I took that because it didn’t require much effort, and it helped me survive until I moved.

    What is the status of your startup and the program now?

    The program ended in October 2024. It came with some grants that helped us stay afloat for a bit, but we are currently bootstrapping, trying to raise funds.

    In April 2025, we won the Datamellon Global AI Ignite Pitch Battle in Berlin, which qualified us to represent Berlin in San Francisco. Then in ⁠October, we won the “Highest Growth Potential” award at the Grace Accelerator Demo Day. In ⁠November, we won the Venture Cafe Berlin Pitch2Tokyo event in Berlin which qualified us to represent Berlin in Japan. And in ⁠February 2026, at the Pitch2Tokyo Finals in Tokyo, we won the “People’s Choice Award.”

    So, good things are happening that make me feel like I didn’t entirely mess up my life, but we still have a long way to go with fundraising.

    The program brought you to Germany. But are you staying there permanently now?

    I am a legal resident of Germany as a self-employed person. I will be here for a while. I’m young and open to growth, even if that means moving elsewhere eventually, but for now, Berlin is home.

    What has the experience in Germany been like?

    I love it. I’ll speak about Berlin because that’s where I live, and I think every city in Germany is different. In my 25 years of life, Berlin is the first place I’ve ever felt at home.

    It felt that way basically from the moment I arrived. On the day I arrived, a friend from university connected me with someone they knew in Germany. He came and picked me up from the airport at midnight. I stayed with him and his wife for a few days, and they made me feel so welcome. That first week, I followed him to his church, Hillsong Berlin. They have this sign that reads “Welcome Home”, and I felt like it was speaking to me. Two weeks later, I also joined a running club.

    I’ve only been here 11 months, but it feels longer because of the communities I have joined. Berlin is often labelled as the “capital of loneliness,” but I never felt lonely because I found my tribe in the running community and at church. I didn’t experience the kind of stories we often hear about people who travel abroad and are lonely and don’t have friends.

    I’m now a very active part of the Berlin running community; I’m a captain in my running club. I now sing at church. I’ve made friends in the Berlin tech ecosystem. I feel very supported and have great people around me.

    Sounds like you’re having a great time in Berlin.

    Yes. I’ve also realised that location is very important. My life has changed because I no longer worry about the basic things. I’m an ambassador for ASICS, the sportstyle brand. I would not have been eligible for that opportunity if I was resident in Nigeria. Being here has opened doors that were closed just because of where I lived.

    Have you been back to Nigeria since you moved to Berlin?

    No. It’s not that I don’t want to visit, but when you look at the ticket prices, it makes you think twice. I’m a startup founder, not a millionaire. I want to visit when I can maximise my stay.

    How did your family feel about you moving to Germany?

    I’m the black sheep of the family, the rebel. My dad really wanted me to be a chartered accountant, and I even started writing the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria (ICAN) exams. But after I got the first level certification, I decided I didn’t want to do it. So I just called him and said, “Daddy, I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.” I was already working at Flutterwave then and not taking money from home, so that gave me the confidence. I also didn’t carry my parents along when I moved to Ghana.

    Those acts of rebellion prepared them for the move to Germany. I think now, they just see me as someone who likes to figure things out. I prefer to figure it out and then tell them; if it doesn’t work, they never have to know about the failures.

    What were the biggest culture shocks for you in Germany?

    There were a lot of shocks, actually. Let’s start with the food. German food is mostly based around bread, sausages and cheese. I don’t like to cook, but I’ve had to adjust and cook more than I did when I was in Accra or Lagos.

    I think it’s common knowledge that Germans aren’t really communal people. But it was still a bit of a shock. Once, I saw a lady with a baby struggling to get up a staircase with the baby’s stroller. So, I went to help her, and she waved me off. I later learned that if someone hasn’t asked for help, offering it can be considered rude here.

    I also used to hold the train doors open for people if I noticed they were running to catch it, expecting us to bond over the gesture, but they didn’t even care. They don’t appreciate things like that. Still, it’s about finding your own people. I know many Germans who are really cool.

    I was also surprised by the amount of smoking. People smoke and vape everywhere, even middle school kids. It’s not seen as a big deal here. Also, the music. They do techno and house music with no lyrics, just beats.

    I’ve also had to remove my “African time” mentality. If an event is at 4:00 p.m. and I show up at 4:20 p.m., they’d have already started. They are very on time. I’ve never been to any event here that didn’t start when they said it would. Actually, there was one, but it was organised by Nigerians.

    The winter was also a shock. I arrived with just a hoodie, and even though it was still spring, I was shocked by the cold that hit me. I still get chills just thinking about it.  Then winter came. People told me to get a proper jacket, but I had one I got in Paris that I thought was good enough. It wasn’t.

    One day, I went for a run with thin gloves and almost lost my fingers. They were frozen, black, and swollen. It was so painful. It made me understand that you can never know more than the locals.

    What has been your worst experience in Berlin?

    I honestly can’t think of a really bad experience. The transport system was confusing at first. One day, I entered the wrong train four times. I was so frustrated. But I’ve learned how it works now.

    What has been your best experience in Berlin?

    I’ll say two. First, I ran my first half-marathon here. It was the beginning of winter, and it was freezing. I didn’t expect anyone to show up for me, but when I had one kilometre left, I saw people from my run club screaming my name. At the finish line, my friends from church were also waiting. It moved my heart so much.

    Second, I sing at Hillsong Berlin. Most people in my run club aren’t religious, but they saw a video of me singing on Instagram and asked when I was singing next. And they came to church to watch me sing. It made me so grateful. Also, winning pitches to represent Berlin in Tokyo and being interviewed on German radio for running have been major highlights.

    What is your least favourite thing about Berlin?

    The winter is very grey; there is no sun. You have to take Vitamin D supplements. You learn in school that the early morning sun gives vitamin D, but it feels only theoretical. In Nigeria, where the sun is always out, you take it for granted.

    I didn’t take the supplements seriously at first, and after a few months, I was actually depressed. It was such an ugly feeling that I still cannot describe properly with words. 

    I went to a clinic, and they told me it was likely linked to Vitamin D deficiency. Once I started the supplements, I saw a massive difference in my mood. So yes, I don’t like that it’s always like it’s cold, dark, and grey here. That’s just not a good combination; it’s my least favourite thing about the city.

    It really sounds grim. What is your favourite thing about Berlin?

    It’s the people I’ve met. It’s not the usual narrative for Berlin, but I’ve met amazing people. I love the running culture. I think it’s really cool that people ride bicycles everywhere. I love how much people read on the trains. It’s not like Tokyo, where everyone is on their phone on the train. Seeing people read makes me feel like I’m living the “mountain life” even in the city, and I like that.

    What do you do for fun?

    I hang out with friends, but mostly I have fun being in my room by myself. I read books in the summer.

    What are you hoping for in the near future?

    My goal is to live fully. Right now, that means running, building a startup, and video editing. I’m training for my first full marathon and will be travelling as a sponsored athlete, which I still almost can’t believe.

    I’m hoping my startup gets major funding this year. I also want to start a creative agency team in Berlin. I’m considering further education, too, but nothing is certain yet. I just want to be more involved in the Berlin tech and running communities.

    On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in Berlin?

    Nine point five. It’s not a ten because I’m currently trying to move apartments, and the Berlin housing market is not great. It’s expensive and hard to find a place, even if you have the money. Other than that, life is great.


    Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me here. For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).


    How are Nigerians navigating romance today?

    Zikoko surveyed over 10,000 people across Nigeria to get their honest opinions about love, dating, marriage, intimacy and more. Read our State of Love report.


    Click here to see what other people are saying about this article on Instagram

  • Someone you know has left or is planning to leave. 1,000 Ways to Japa speaks to real people and explores the endless reasons and paths they take to japa.


    Franca (20s) has always admired asian culture, so when she was looking for a scholarship, it felt natural to look in one of its countries. In this story, Franca shares how she landed a fully funded scholarship to her dream school in one trial, how she’s faring, and how others can replicate her success.

    Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

    I currently live in South Korea. I left Nigeria in August 2024. 

    What inspired your move to South Korea?

    A huge part of my inspiration was the culture, really. I have always appreciated Asian culture, so when I was looking for a scholarship for my master’s, it felt natural to look in Asia. I tried South Korea, and it worked for me. That’s how I ended up here.

    What course are you studying now?

    I did my bachelor’s in Mass Communication, and I’m currently doing my master’s in International Relations.

    What’s the name of the scholarship, and how did you find it?

    It’s a fully-funded program called the Global Korea Scholarship (GKS), and I believe it’s quite popular amongst people who are into Korean culture or Korean dramas.

    The scholarship is funded by the Korean government through the Ministry of Education and implemented by the National Institute for International Education (NIIED). It opens up each year for graduates and undergraduates alike. Once opened, Korean embassies in various countries publicise the scholarship application period across their social media platforms. I follow the  Korean Cultural Centre, KCC  Nigeria (KCCN) on Instagram and have done so for a long time. I first saw their post about the scholarship in 2023 during my National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) year.

    I started preparing my documents and requirements in 2023. By 2024, I was able to apply.

    So, what was the application process like?

    I wouldn’t say the application process was difficult, but I’ll say it was complicated. Compared to Western countries with online applications, the GKS requires you to do a procedure called document legalisation and authentication. This means you have to take your education documents, like transcripts, degree certificates, and your birth certificate. To the Ministry of Education for legalisation. After that, you will have to take it to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the Korean Embassy for the same purpose. After that, you also have to take it to the High Court to get their stamp on it. It’s a long process with complicated steps.

    There are actually two different application routes. You can either choose to do it through the Korean embassy, where documents are submitted at the  Korean Cultural Centre, or you may choose to apply via the university route.

    How does the university route work?

    If you happen to choose the university route, after legalising and authenticating all your documents, you send them via a courier service to the University you’re applying to in South Korea.

    Can you list all the required documents?

    The scholarship usually publishes something called the GKS Guideline. The guideline usually entails all the documents you’re expected to submit. Some universities also request specific documents outside of the ones listed in the guidelines. Some may ask you to submit things like IELTS, an English proficiency test, a portfolio, among other things.

    Overall, the main documents which you must have to apply are your transcripts, degree certificates and birth certificate if you’re a master’s student. For undergraduate candidates, it’s usually a testimonial, a high school transcript and a birth certificate. Additionally, a personal statement and study plan are required for both categories. If you have other documents that show evidence of meaningful extracurricular activities, such as volunteering, that would also boost your chances.

    Can the quality of a person’s personal statement mar their application?

    It does. The embassy application route (which I used) is in three stages, namely document submission/evaluation, interview, and successful candidates selection. The personal statement and study plan are reviewed in the first stage alongside other documents. If you do not make it past this stage, you can’t make it to the second and third rounds.

    Do you have any tips for strong personal statements and study plans?

    Sell yourself as much as you can in your essay. The people reviewing your application will accept it only if they’re absolutely convinced you’re a qualified candidate. Korea spends a lot of money funding this scholarship, so you need to prove that you’re worth the investment.

    You need to project confidence in your essay. You also need to demonstrate that you are skilled and have engaged in meaningful extracurricular activities like volunteering, among others. Most importantly, you need to demonstrate that you have excelled academically in your past studies. This is especially important because you need to score at least a 3.5 on a four-point scale.

    That makes a lot of sense. How many times did you apply?

    I applied once and got in on my first trial.

    Love it for you. How long did the application process take?

    For graduate programmes, applications usually open in February up until early July when the final results for successful applicants are released. Students begin to come to Korea in August.It’s a little different for undergraduate studies; the applications open up in September, and students start coming in by March.

    I understand the scholarship is fully funded; does it only take effect once you’re in South Korea?

    Not exactly. You have to cover your transportation from your house to the airport, and that is all.  They cover your flight to the country and every other thing you’ll need during your studies. This includes our round-trip flight ticket to and after studies, tuition fee, and a monthly stipend. All you have to do is carry your bags to the airport, then study hard when you get to South Korea.

    That’s so cool. So, how much did you spend on the process back in Nigeria?

    I spent money only on getting myself to the airport, getting around to the Korean Embassy, and the two ministries I mentioned earlier for the preparation of my documents. I spent about ₦200,000, and that was in 2024. I know the price has increased now because the cost of preparing those documents was hiked after my time. Those ministries probably hiked it after they saw the demand for those services was increasing; services that cost ₦1,000 per page suddenly began costing about ₦4,000. Things may have increased, but I don’t expect general expenses to exceed ₦500,000 if you leave within Abuja. But if you have to travel to Abuja to get it done, then of course, travelling down to Abuja will definitely mean spending more.

    Awesome. Are students allowed to work under the scholarship?

    Yes and no. We’re not allowed to work in our first year in the country. This is mainly to enable students concentrate on the one-year Korean language programme they are required to do. This stage is particularly crucial because you can be sent back to your country if you don’t pass the programme.

    Once you pass the language programme and get into undergraduate or graduate school, you’ll be allowed to work during breaks. Working may distract you or make things tedious for you, and that’s the last thing you need because studying in another language is already hard enough. The sponsors of the scholarship, the NIIED, also emphasise the importance of good grades in keeping the scholarship. You are expected to maintain a Cumulative Grade Point Average (CGPA) of at least 80% or higher on a 100-point scale.

    You also need to maintain near-perfect attendance. The school keeps track of your attendance and will report to the NIIED if you miss class more than three times; you will get three warnings and will likely be sent back to your country after you’ve exhausted all three warnings. There’s no need to risk it. I advise you put your head down and study.

    Are students expected to leave after their studies?

    Students are not required to leave, and I think it’s an advantage that South Korea has over Western countries, where it’s insisted that you return to your home country after a stipulated time. Things are much more flexible here in that aspect; the decision to stay back is usually up to you. You’re also not mandated to secure employment within a stipulated time. Of course, it’s in your best interest that you get a job so as to sustain yourself, but you’ll not be sent packing if you don’t have one just yet.

    So, what’s studying in South Korea like?

     It’s been an interesting experience full of new learning so far; however, I think the answer to that is highly dependent on who you ask. Some students attend universities where a majority of the courses are taught in complete Korean; I  imagine that wouldn’t be so enjoyable for them. My classes are taught in English, so I enjoy them.

    What university do you attend? Would you recommend it?

    My school is called Sogang University, and I hundred per cent recommend it. This 

    has always been my dream university, and I really enjoy studying here.

    What would you say to Nigerians who are looking to study in South Korea?

    Come ready to learn. I say this because things are a lot different here than they are back home. The culture is different, people’s behaviours are different, and things are done in an orderly manner. No one is pushing to get ahead of a queue or roughing their way into public transportation. 

    My experience here has opened my eyes to new things, new experiences, and new cultures. Also, South Korea is becoming a little like the US in the way that international students flock here. I’ve met so many people here, and I love it.

    South Korea is also technologically advanced and a good place to do business. I encourage people to explore this place.

    Is there racism in South Korea?

    It depends on who you’re asking. I personally haven’t experienced racism here. It might be because I’m in the capital, where South Koreans are much more familiar with other races. You’ll find that it’s the same in some other countries.

    It has been easy for me to settle in here. The only difficult part has been the weather. It gets quite cold here during winter.

    On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate South Korea, and why?

    I’ll rate it an 8.5. I haven’t been here that long, so I’m probably swayed by my good experiences. I haven’t had any dreadful moments here, and I’ve met really nice people here. Overall, I’ll say I’ve been favoured a lot.

    Sounds great. I wish you the best, Franca

    Thank you.


    Want to share your japa story? Please reach out to me here.


    Politics affects your life every day and in so many ways. And you should have a say in who gets to decide things that affect you. Apathy only rewards bad leaders. Your silence only hurts you. So come, let your voice be heard at the second edition of The Citizen Townhall.

    February 28, in Lagos, there won’t be a more important place to be. Come through and join the conversation. Register here.


    Click here to see what others are saying about this story on Instagram

  • Mide* (26) didn’t expect dating to get more complicated after moving from an unsatisfying relationship to fully owning her pleasure. What began as curiosity has now affected how she experiences intimacy and attraction.

    In this story, she opens up about her romantic journey and the struggle to find an emotional connection.

    What’s your current relationship status, and how do you feel about it?

    I’ve been single for a while because I’ve become less sexually attracted to people. It’s not a good thing, and it has affected how I approach dating and relationships.

    How so? Walk me through 

    My first relationship started in 2018 shortly after I got into university. I was in my second year when I met Damilare*. I’d never dated seriously before him, so everything about that relationship felt like an introduction to a new world. He was my first sexual partner. At the time, I thought our relationship was perfect because I had nothing else to compare it to.

    But the truth is, I didn’t really enjoy sex. People talked about women having orgasms, but I never experienced that. Foreplay didn’t do much for me, and sex felt painful in the beginning. I liked the idea of lovemaking more than the experience. It always felt like he enjoyed it far more than I did.

    That continued until we eventually ended the relationship during COVID. He was already a bad texter and would disappear for days without explanation, then return with excuses.

    I constantly begged for attention. I’d triple-text just to get a response. Eventually, I became exhausted. Ending the relationship was difficult, but I realised I didn’t want that dynamic for myself anymore.

    Right. What happened next?

    After lockdown eased and we prepared to return to school, I realised I missed sex. I didn’t want to go back to my ex, so I  tried something different.

    I ordered my first self-pleasure toy, a rose. People raved about it on TikTok at the time, and curiosity got the better of me.

    I’ll never forget the first time I used it. I orgasmed for the first time within minutes and almost cried because it was so overwhelming. During the two years I’d been sexually active, I’d never felt anything close to it. That was when I realised I’d been missing out.

    For the first few months, I couldn’t use it often because I was either home with family or in my school hostel, and both places offered little privacy. But once I moved out in my final year and started living alone at the end of 2021, everything changed.

    Living alone gave me control over my body in a way I’d never experienced before. I started using it frequently and eventually bought a dildo as well. I felt sexually satisfied in a way I’d never experienced with a partner, although I sometimes missed the intimacy of a relationship.

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    Did you eventually meet someone new?

    Yes. In 2022, I met Sam* through a mutual friend. We became friends first, and I liked how calm and kind he was. He felt very different from my ex.

    We grew closer naturally, realised we had feelings for each other, and he eventually asked me out. The early days were sweet, but it didn’t take long to realise we weren’t sexually compatible. After almost a year of exploring my body and understanding what gave me pleasure, I struggled with how mechanical sex felt with him. He didn’t really go out of his way to stimulate or please me.

    Did you talk to him about it?

    Conversations around pleasure or sex toys weren’t very open, so I didn’t know how to express myself without sounding like a freak.

    I indirectly asked how he felt about trying new things together, but he was very conservative about sex. Once, I suggested we watch porn together to explore ideas, and his reaction made me shut down immediately. He interpreted it as me saying he wasn’t good enough.

    I didn’t want to hurt his ego, so I handled my orgasms privately with my toys afterwards. I couldn’t even tell him because I feared he’d cut me off or tell our mutual friends.

    He was also very traditional and talked about marriage and settling down immediately after graduation because his parents married young.

    I wasn’t ready for that. I planned to break up with him, but kept postponing it because he was a nice person. I stayed stuck in that loop until I met John* in August 2022.

    Tell me about John.

    I met him after my final exams when I went home a few months before convocation. He was a corper working at the Medicare across the street. We chatted a few times when I visited, then exchanged numbers.

    John flirted with me, and I enjoyed the attention. What surprised me most was how comfortable he felt discussing sex. I decided to be honest about my experiences, and he was completely open-minded.

    He talked about his experiments and past experiences without shame. It felt refreshing and exciting.

    We started spending more time together and eventually hooked up. Sex with John felt completely different. We used toys, and he paid close attention to my pleasure. We experimented with role play, bondage, and other things. It was intense and addictive.


    Read Also: My Fiancé Abandoned Me During Childbirth


    Were you still with Sam at this point?

    Yes, technically. But emotionally, I’d already checked out. Our communication had faded, and the affection was gone.

    During convocation, about two months after meeting John, Sam and I hooked up one last time. That was when I realised I was done. Ending the relationship was easy after that.

    With Sam out of the way, I developed deeper feelings for John, even though he’d been clear from the beginning that he didn’t want a relationship. Whenever I hinted at it, he’d say that what we had worked perfectly and that a relationship would ruin things. I believed him because the connection felt so intense, but I soon noticed his red flags.

    What red flags?

    He was very controlling. At first, I interpreted it as dominance, which excited me. Over time, it became exhausting. He seized my toys because he preferred keeping them so we’d only use them together.  It was cute at first, but I eventually wanted the toys back because I didn’t want to always wait till we saw each other.

    When he refused to return it, I bought new ones. I mentioned it, and he got upset, asking me to hand them over, or he’d cut me off. That should have been my warning sign, but I liked him too much to leave.

    One day in April 2023, I planned to visit him as usual, but he told me not to come because he had a visitor. I suggested coming the next afternoon instead, but he insisted I come in the evening and refused to explain further. My curiosity won, so I went that afternoon anyway and waited nearby until I saw another woman leave his house.

    When I confronted him, he reminded me that we weren’t exclusive.

    Ouch. 

    He claimed she was just a friend who needed a place to stay while visiting the city. He admitted they’d slept together, though he said it wasn’t planned. We had been seeing each other for almost eight months at that point, so hearing that shocked me.

    I was devastated, but as he said, he never promised commitment or clearly defined our relationship. I cried for days but still stayed, convincing myself that if I couldn’t make him date me, I’d eventually leave once I met someone else.

    A few weeks later, I checked his phone and realised she was actually his long-term girlfriend. What hurt most was seeing how affectionate and gentle he was with her. I realised I was getting a different version of him and serving as his placeholder.

    Did you leave immediately after that?

    No. I stayed another month. When his service year was ending and he was preparing to leave, I decided to end things. He didn’t fight for me to stay, which hurt deeply because by then I was in love with him. I eventually blocked him in June 2023 so I could move on.

    How did you cope afterwards?

    I turned to my toys. They became my comfort, and I hardly went a day without using them. After more than a year of that pattern, I started to worry. 

    I realised I’d become emotionally disconnected. Sex was the only thing I wanted, and I could get it without the complications of relationships.

    Hmm. Did you try dating again?

    Yes, but it hasn’t felt the same. I met a guy through work early last year. We went on a few dates and had great chemistry, but when we finally had sex, I zoned out. I didn’t want him touching me, even though he hadn’t done anything wrong.

    The experience felt underwhelming compared to what I’d become used to. Afterwards, he said he felt I was disgusted by him, which wasn’t true. I just couldn’t explain what was happening to me.

    After reading more, I realised I might have grown too attached to the control and consistency my toys offer. With them, everything works exactly how I want. Human connection isn’t that predictable.

    Since the start of the year, I’ve reduced how often I use them. Now I use them a few times a week instead of daily. I’ve joined dating apps, and I’m trying to connect with people on a more emotional level. It’s difficult because many people still approach dating primarily for sex, but I’m hopeful things will change.

    So, how have these experiences shaped your idea of love and relationships?

    I’ve learned that human connection can’t really be replaced. Pleasure matters, but it isn’t everything. I still hope to meet someone who accepts my openness about pleasure while I work on building a healthier balance.

    Finally, how are the streets treating you these days? Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10.

    I’d give it a 6/10. I don’t hate being single, but I’ve started craving companionship more intensely.


    Zikoko’s HERtitude is back this April 2026. Grab your tickets here: hertitude.zikoko.com

  • Valentine’s Day usually follows a predictable script. Red roses. Dinner dates. The “Soft Life” captions. Maybe even a few “God when?” tweets from the sidelines. But this year, Darling Nigeria decided to flip the script. They asked a simple question: Who actually makes the every “slay” possible? And ‘Who deserves flowers on Valentine’s Day?’ The answer was found in the standing fans and busy mirrors of local salons. Through the “Feel Like a Darling, Love Like a Darling” campaign, the brand took the celebration to the people who spend their Februaries making everyone else look good: the hairstylists. And for three days, Darling Nigeria turned regular hours in salons into ‘awww moments’.  And honestly, it was a thoughtful and beautiful experience.

    Real Love in Real Places

    This wasn’t just a high-brow gala in a hotel ballroom. Darling went where the heart of the craft beats in the markets. From Gwagwalada Main Market, Abuja; Gwagwalada Underbridge, Abuja; Ikeja Underbridge, Lagos; and down to Njamanza at Ekelonuwa/Rotobi Market in Owerri, salons got a Valentine’s surprise they truly didn’t see coming. These spaces became mini Valentine hubs where both stylists and customers shared in the celebration.

    But the love didn’t stop there. In addition, alongside beauty lovers and partners like PecyBae, Noosi Tiwantiwa, and Victoire Mahounou, the Darling Nigeria team carried out surprise salon visits across other locations in Lagos, Ibadan, and Owerri, connecting with even more stylists in their everyday work environments. They walked into these spaces bearing gifts, showing up with thoughtfully curated “Valentine’s Care Packages.” Each package featured Darling’s latest attachments and hair extensions, including Bohemian Passion Twist, Passion Twist, Boho Braids, and Curly Braids, paired with elegant floral bouquets and a discreet cash token of appreciation.

    The stylists were genuinely delighted, eager to try their hands on the new textures and styles, and inspired to explore fresh, creative possibilities with the collection.

    The Beautiful Moments We Love to See

    The reactions were indeed priceless. We saw stylists freeze in shock while their children jumped for joy. One stylist literally dropped her comb mid-braid. When you spend ten hours a day on your feet creating neat parts and perfect installs, being the one “getting served” hits differently.

    Take Rashidat, for example. She’s been on a ten-year journey with one goal: making women feel beautiful. Darling met her passion with a “Yes, Queen!” moment, gifting her free products and a cash boost. Then there was the stylist who joked about being “booless” this year, only to end up asking, “Pinch me, am I dreaming?” when the team showered her with love.

    As one stylist put it, grinning from ear to ear: “My love for Darling don pay me today. I am very happy!”

    It’s a Shared Love Story

    What we took away from this? Beauty is a cycle. It lives in the chair, it shines in the mirror, but it starts in the hands of the professional. By spotlighting stylists in everyday markets, the busy ones, the “under the dryer from morning till night” ones, Darling sent a clear message: “We see you!”

    The love flowed both ways. Customers who came in for their Valentine braids also enjoyed discounted styling and surprise treats, turning a regular appointment into something memorable.

    And that’s really the point. When stylists feel seen, supported, and appreciated, they pour that same energy back into their craft. The confidence they build doesn’t end at the mirror, it follows clients home, into their relationships, into their everyday lives.

  • If there’s one thing we love, it’s strangers coming together and forming a strong bond while striving to achieve something grand, and Power Oil achieved this at the Access Bank Lagos City Marathon 2026. They didn’t just sponsor a race; they created an entire community, trained them for weeks, and then actually showed up on race day like champions.

    For weeks leading up to February 14th, the Power Oil Running Community became that group. The one where people actually showed up for 6:30 AM Saturday trainings and held each other accountable. 

    There were polls, playlists and debates about the best running shoes. And through it all, Power Oil was genuinely invested in people’s progress. As an extra step they gave out cash prizes to the top 3 finishers from the community.

    Because here’s the thing: Power Oil has always been about heart health. And what better way to champion heart health than by getting people to actually use their hearts?

    Power Oil created a model that made fitness accessible, communal and fun.

    They are living up to their “Powering Healthy Living” promise by not just telling you to eat better, but by running beside you, while you build a healthier life.

    And in true Lagos fashion, they did it with style, community, and a whole lot of heart (pun fully intended).

    So here’s to the Power Oil Running Community. To the early mornings, the group chat that never sleeps, the strangers who became running buddies and to every single person who chose cardio over chocolate on Valentine’s Day.

    You ran Lagos. And Lagos is better for it. 

  • GridLocked is a daily pop culture guessing game built for Nigerians. Every weekday by 9am, you’ll get six clues, sixty seconds, and an answer only a Nigerian would know.


    Today’s GridLocked is an actor.

    How many clues do you need to get it right? 👀

    Share your result when done, but don’t spoil the answer for others. (Missed the last GridLocked? Play it here.)

    2 March 2026

    Come back every weekday by 9am for a new grid or subscribe to Z Daily, Zikoko’s daily newsletter, to get new GridLocked puzzles, real Nigerian stories and other fun content in your inbox.


    How to Play GridLocked

    • The Goal: Guess the answer for the day before time runs out. (The answer could be a Nigerian person, place, song, movie, or even slang.)
    • The Lock: You cannot type a guess until you have revealed at least one tile (clue).
    • The Reveal: Tap any tile to reveal a clue. Every clue describes the answer for the day. The fewer tiles you flip, the better.
    • The Clock: You have 60 seconds to guess right. The timer starts the moment you flip your first tile. (You get multiple guesses.)

    The GridLocked Squares: What Do They Mean?

    When the game ends, you see your guess count, total time spent, and the number of tiles flipped. The tiles are shown as white and purple squares.

    • ⬜ (White) = A tile you flipped
    • 🟪 (Purple) = A tile you left closed

    The fewer white tiles you have, the better your result.

    • Best Result = ⬜🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 | Guesses: 1 (Only needed one clue and one guess to get it right)
  • This story is culled from “Zikoko Daily Shorts”, a weekly series exclusive to the Zikoko Daily NewsletterSubscribe here to receive the newsletter in your inbox every day and get more stories like this, as well as a round-up of our best articles, inside gist and quizzes.


    This is Oyin’s story, as told to Boluwatife

    I experienced the worst heartbreak of my life without warning on a random Tuesday afternoon in 2024. 

    I was lying on my bed, absent-mindedly scrolling through Instagram. I had just finished replying to a work email and decided to “rest my eyes.”. Then a familiar smile stopped my thumb mid-air.

    It was Kunle, my boyfriend of six years, on BellaNaija’s Instagram page.

    The caption read something like: “Love is sweet! #KunleWeds…” I didn’t read the rest at first. I was too busy staring at the pictures.

    There he was in a cream agbada, leaning into a woman I had never seen before. She was wearing a matching cream aso-oke, laughing into his chest like she had every right to be there.

    I blinked and refreshed the page. Surely my eyes were playing tricks on me. But the post was right there, no matter how many times I refreshed it. I zoomed in on his face to be sure I wasn’t mistaken. I wasn’t. It was Kunle.

    My Kunle. My “we’re-getting-engaged-before-the-year-ends” Kunle.

    I even checked the date, as if it might have been from years ago, and I somehow missed it. It was posted twenty minutes earlier, and already, comments were pouring in. “So beautiful!” “God, when?” 

    I forwarded the link to his Instagram DM without typing anything. I didn’t trust myself to add words. The message delivered, and I waited hours, staring at my screen at intervals for the “seen” icon.

    When it was almost midnight, and he still hadn’t seen the DM, I called him over the phone. I called three times, but he didn’t pick up. I went to check his WhatsApp and saw that his profile picture had disappeared. He had blocked me. Confused, I went to his Instagram account, and it said, “User not found.”

    That was when the confusion began to turn into something colder. Because if this was a misunderstanding, why was he blocking me everywhere?

    And if it wasn’t a misunderstanding, then who had I been in his life for the past six years?

    ****

    This story is culled from a weekly series exclusive to the Zikoko Daily Newsletter. Subscribe here for more stories like this.

    Life comes at you really fast. 

    You read stories of people sharing how they discovered that their partners were seeing someone else, and you never think that can happen to you. I never thought that could one day be me. Yet, here I was. 

    The worst part is that we were fine. 

    Kunle and I were one of the most steady and comfortable couples you’d ever meet. We hardly fought and shared the same sense of humour. Whenever we hung out with mutual friends, we almost always ended up driving everyone to fits of laughter because we were always cracking jokes.

    We met at a mutual friend’s convocation celebration. It was also my convocation, and I’d gone to this friend’s canopy to take pictures with him. In the confusion of arranging to take pictures, Kunle mistakenly spilt his Chapman on my white dress and wouldn’t stop apologising. 

    He asked for my number to “dryclean the dress,” and I told him I would consider it. He texted the next morning: “How’s the dress? And how’s the girl inside it?” It was corny, but I loved it.

    Somewhere between late-night calls and weekend visits, he became my person.

    Six years is not a small thing. It was years of inside jokes, of learning the exact tone of his voice when he’s stressed and falling asleep together over the phone. I even met his family, and his sister often called me “our in-law.” 

    Earlier that year, in March, we went ring shopping. We often talked about our future and, over the years, had both agreed that 2024/2025 was the most realistic period for us to settle down. By then, we would have worked for a while and saved up some money. 

    So, when Kunle had asked that we visit a ring shop so he’d know my preferences, I thought, “This is it. The proposal will happen this year.”

    That was in March. The BellaNaija post went up in October.

    How did he go from planning a future with me to getting ready to marry someone else in seven months? How come I had no idea?

    I needed to find answers, so I did the first thing that came to mind.

    ****

    Since Kunle had blocked me everywhere on social media and even phone calls, I did the next best thing: I started spam-calling him.

    I spent a week calling him every day with different numbers. Once he picked up and realised it was me, he’d block the new number too. I sent him several messages, pleading for him to explain what was happening. When he didn’t respond, I resorted to sending curses. He didn’t reply to those either.

    I also tried catching him unawares at his house, but somehow, he was never there on the few occasions I went. When all my attempts at reaching him failed, I turned to his sister, Bimpe.

    Bimpe and I were somewhat close. We had hung out together without him a few times, and I often gifted her on her birthday and on random occasions. She had even once joked that she’d choose me in the divorce if Kunle messed up. If someone had answers for me, it’d be Bimpe. 

    When she picked up, I didn’t waste time. “Bimpe, what is going on?”

    She didn’t need to ask me what I meant. Instead, she let out a heavy sigh and swore she didn’t know the girl either. She said Kunle had just started bringing her home a few months back. At first, the family thought it was nothing serious. Then suddenly it was introductions and wedding plans.

    “A few months?” I remember repeating, like maybe if I said it slowly, it would hurt less.

    Bimpe said she didn’t know how to tell me. That it wasn’t her place, and she kept hoping Kunle would explain it himself. 

    She “didn’t know how to tell me.” 

    After six years of being with her brother and regularly visiting her family’s house. I had a cordial relationship with everyone in that family, and yet no one saw it fit to tell me the truth. 

    In the “months” since he started bringing this other woman home, I still visited them a few times and ate with them. I can’t imagine that they were smiling with me while actively planning a wedding behind my back. 

    I asked Bimpe a question, “When he brought her home, did you mention me to her?”

    She didn’t say anything in response. That silence told me everything I needed to know. No one had fought for me. I had simply overestimated my place in that family for all those years.

    I hung up, and the tears finally came. I cried so much, my eyes were bloodshot. I had to take sick leave from work for days. I didn’t feel like myself for weeks; it felt like my heart was breaking several times a day.

    And then, in the middle of that heartbreak, I made a decision that shocked even me.

    I decided I would attend the wedding.

    ****

    This story is culled from a weekly series exclusive to the Zikoko Daily Newsletter. Subscribe here for more stories like this.

    My friends and siblings tried to talk me out of attending the wedding. 

    They kept saying, “Oyin, what do you want to do there?” “Is the heartbreak not enough? Do you want to embarrass yourself on top of all that?”

    I didn’t have a clean answer for them, and I still don’t really know why I went. I guess a part of me wanted to see it with my own eyes, to confirm it wasn’t a bad dream. Also, if anyone needed to be embarrassed, it should be Kunle, not me. 

    So, I made my findings and discovered the wedding date and venue. I bought new outfits, had my hair done and even hired a professional make-up artist. I arrived at that wedding looking like a million dollars.

    When I walked into the church, I felt eyes on me almost immediately. Some of our mutual friends attended the wedding as well, including some of Kunle’s coworkers who knew we were dating. I’m sure the gossip was hot that day. Everyone probably expected me to create a scene and give them even more to talk about. Me, I was just there to enjoy myself.

    Kunle saw me just as the ceremony started, and his face changed. The confidence disappeared, and his smile tightened. He looked like a man waiting for chaos. I didn’t give him any.

    After the church programme ended, I followed everyone to the reception hall. I even greeted his mum politely and hugged Bimpe. Both of them were just staring at me as if I’d grown two heads. 

    I found my seat, and when the food came, I ate to my fill. I must have stopped every usher that walked by to collect a new plate of food and small chops. When it was time to dance the couple in, I joined the crowd and danced as if there were a prize for the best dancer. 

    At this point, even the bride had noticed something was off. I’m not sure if she knew me or if she just noticed the way Kunle was staring at me with fear in his eyes. Both of them were uncomfortable and didn’t dance as much as they should have. They just signalled the MC to stop the music and continue with the rest of the programme.

    Throughout the rest of the day, Kunle kept stealing glances at me while I tried as much as possible to avoid his eyes. Honestly, despite my outward bravado, my heart was breaking inside, and it took everything in me not to break down and cry. When I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I left the party and went home. 

    That night, he sent me one message. “I’m sorry.”

    Just that. I stared at it for a long time. Then I put my phone down and went to sleep.

    ****

    It’s been over a year since all this happened. 

    On the outside, I look fine. I go to work and laugh with my friends, but I’m still nursing pain in my heart.

    Betrayal changes a person’s life so much. I don’t believe in promises anymore. When a man tells me he likes me, my mind immediately starts producing imaginary red flags. Instead of feeling flattered by compliments, my chest tightens, and I get scared.

    I hate that about myself. I used to love freely. Now I analyse everything, and it’s exhausting.

    Sometimes I replay the last year of our relationship, looking for clues I missed. Was she already there when we went ring shopping? Were there late replies and “busy weekends”  that I ignored?

    I don’t think I’ll pursue a relationship anytime soon. Trust feels like a weird concept, and I don’t even trust my own judgment anymore.

    The scariest part isn’t that he betrayed me. It’s that I’m not sure I’ll ever be the girl who believed in forever so easily again.

    I don’t know which loss hurts more.


    *Names have been changed to protect the subject’s identity.

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  • Sunken Ships is a Zikoko weekly series that explores the how and why of the end of all relationships — familial, romantic or just good old friendships.


    When Bidemi*(32) met Ire*(30), he was certain that she was his forever person. That changed when they disagreed about some important parts of their future together.

    In this Sunken Ships, Bidemi shares the story of how their love began, the worst breakup of his life and how he’s slowly putting himself back together.

    When did you know your relationship with Ire was over?

    I walked into a party in December 2025 with a lady on my arm and saw her there with her new boyfriend. We saw each other and didn’t say a word to each other the entire night. I hated it.

    Whoa. Take me back to the beginning.

    I met her at a small art exhibition in Ibadan in 2021. As soon as she walked into the room, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I struck up a conversation with her that afternoon, and for the next four years, she became my everything.

    Did you guys start dating immediately?

    Not officially, I asked her to be my girlfriend three months after we started talking. But I knew from the minute I saw her that I wanted her in my life.

    What were the early days of your relationship like?

    They were the best days of my life. We started dating not long after we met, but it felt like I had known her all my life. She was sweet, caring and beautiful. It helped that we had the same interests in films, art and food. We spent so much time together that our friend groups merged. Her friends became mine and mine hers.

    Wow, that sounds like an amazing connection. Why did things start going awry?

    In 2024, we began to disagree about some very important parts of our future together.

    Tell me about that.

    Within the first year of us being together, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Ire, so we would discuss at length about what we wanted out of life. We agreed on everything. I don’t want kids, and she didn’t want any either. I’m not religious, and neither is she. It was perfect.

    What changed?

    I can’t pinpoint what changed, but all of a sudden, in our third year together, Ire started talking about having kids when we settled down.

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    Ah. How did you react to that?

    At first, I thought it was a joke, but when I found out she was serious, I became uncomfortable. I come from a very dysfunctional family, and so I have never wanted to have my own children. I pour all that energy towards taking care of my younger siblings. Her situation is similar to mine, so when she initially said she didn’t want children, I totally understood.

    Did you guys have a conversation when she changed her mind?

    Yes, we did. I hated it because it was the first time we couldn’t meet in the middle about an issue. She wanted a child or two, and I didn’t see myself having the bandwidth to handle even one.

    So what did you do?

    We shelved the conversation and continued our relationship, but that disagreement sat heavily between us. Over the course of the next year, it became apparent that we had to make a tough decision.

    What happened?

    We met each other’s families. Her parents are lovely, and I really enjoyed all the time I spent with them. My mum adored Ire and after that started asking me when we would go and see her people. I think the seriousness of our relationship dawned on Ire then because a few weeks after meeting my mum, in April 2025, she broke up with me.

    Whoa.

    It hurt so much. She cried, and I cried, but I understood. I wanted to tell her that I would gladly have a child with her if it meant we would stay together, but Ire knows me too well. She would have refused because it’s not what I really wanted.

    Tell me about how you handled the split.

    I was a mess for months. I threw myself into work during the week and into alcohol on the weekends. It felt like someone was tearing my heart into little pieces. I had to block her on all our social media because seeing her face online made me so sad.

    Do you know how she handled it?

    Some of our friends tried to tell me how sad she was, but I didn’t want to hear about her. It hurt too much.

    Did you guys ever talk after that?

    She called me on my birthday in August, and it was a hard conversation.

    Why?

    The sound of her voice brought back so many feelings and memories that I had to stop myself from begging her to come back to me. I cried after that call.

    How has healing been since you split?

    It’s been hard. At the beginning, it felt like I was suffocating, but slowly, it started getting easier. Though I held a little hope that we would find each other again one day. But that’s over too.

    Why did you give up hope?

    I saw her at a party with someone else in December 2025. I had also come to the party with someone else, and that’s when I realised that our chapter was over. It felt like we broke up all over again, but I had to accept it.

    Would you reconcile with her if you found out you were on the same page again?

    In a heartbeat. I have never felt that way about anyone else. I would take that leap any day.

    Have you dated anyone since your split?

    Only casually. My heart still feels too raw to share it with anyone. I’m want to take my time to heal before getting into another serious relationship.


    *Names have been changed for anonymity.


    Hey, if you’d like to share your own #SunkenShips story with Zikoko, fill out this form!


  • Abby* is a 20-year-old marketing manager and final-year student. She talks about the trauma of losing her father’s financial safety net, the frantic hustle of juggling multiple jobs in university, and why, despite achieving her early goals, she still doesn’t feel like she’s done enough.

    As Told To Boluwatife

    Growing up, I never knew what money trouble meant. I attended an expensive private school and lived a comfortable life. That changed in JSS 2 when my dad passed away.

    The cracks appeared. He hadn’t left money behind for us, and my mum had to step in and do it alone. By JSS 3, I was moved to a different school. I hated the change and struggled with being limited to what my mum could afford. I developed a fierce need for my own money.

    I started selling everything. I sold bracelets in school. On Sundays, I’d pack snacks and drinks into my mum’s car and sell them to church members. 

    At university, a friend told me, “Abby, you’re a great writer. Do you know you can make money from this?” That was my entry into the gig economy. 

    I started at a writing agency for ₦1 per word. Then, it went up to ₦1.5. It wasn’t much, but it was mine. Eventually, I realised writing gigs weren’t frequent enough, so I looked for a real job.

    In 2023, during my second year, I got a job as a customer service rep for a media company, earning ₦40k/month. Six months later, they asked for a volunteer to manage their social media. I had experience writing YouTube scripts and content writing, so I told them to sign me up. 

    By then, my customer service salary had increased to ₦65k. When I took on the additional social media role, the figure jumped to ₦105k/month.

    At this point, I’d stopped going to classes. I just stayed in my hostel and worked. It didn’t matter because I’m an avid reader; I’d read my school material at the end of the day and still pull good grades.

    In early 2025, I added Upwork to the mix, writing YouTube scripts. I was making at least ₦200k/month from Upwork alone. In the same year, I transitioned completely from customer service to the marketing manager role for the media company, and my salary dropped to ₦100k.

    2025 was also the year I made my first million. It didn’t come from one big payday, though. I made it by being an avid, almost obsessive, saver. I never left my hostel or spent money on clothes, so I channelled my earnings into savings. 

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    I saved every single penny from Upwork. Sometimes I’d make $100, sometimes $300, and I didn’t spend anything. My initial goal was to save enough to buy a laptop. By the end of the year, I had saved almost ₦4 million.

    I spent most of it fulfilling my 18-year-old dreams. I moved out of the hostel and rented an apartment for ₦800k, furnishing it with another ₦1m. Then, I bought a second-hand laptop for ₦300k and a phone for ₦500k — though I got scammed and had to spend more to swap it. The rest, about ₦1 million, went into savings and investments.

    I’m obsessed with investing. I bought some of MTN’s IPO in 2021, and the value has skyrocketed — I’ve gotten over 100% returns. I have a few stocks, but my preferred investment instruments are mutual funds, ETFs and some crypto. 

    Currently, I have three jobs: the marketing manager role (₦100k), a new internship I just got (₦101k), and a community engagement gig (₦30k). I don’t even spend the ₦30k; I split it between my ETFs and mutual funds.

    My portfolio currently sits at about ₦600k in liquid savings and ₦400k in investments, though crypto volatility recently reduced the latter slightly to about ₦350k. I use mutual funds because they feel safe, and ETFs for the long term. I even got the apartment just because I’ll soon graduate and wanted a one-year break from the pressure of family and post-grad life.

    I’ve ticked all these boxes, but I still don’t feel like I’m doing enough. I don’t believe I’ve made it.

    When I was 18, the pinnacle of success was ₦100k a month and an apartment. I got those things, and suddenly, they felt small. The goal posts have moved. Now, I’m 20 and depressed. I feel like I need to be earning ₦1 million a month to feel safe. 

    One of my jobs, the internship, is at a marketing agency, and I’m hoping to get retained or find a foreign company that pays better. But I have major imposter syndrome. I’m constantly scared my superiors will realise I don’t know as much as they think I do.

    My next goal is to hit that ₦1m monthly income by the end of this year. And for once, I want to actually spend money on myself. I’ve been working since I was 15, and every naira has been tied to a goal. 

    People say money is just a tool, but when you’ve been on both ends of the stick, you know that money can be a saviour. If there were a church for money, I’d worship there. I know exactly what it can do for a person, and I never want to be without that power again. 

    I’m turning 21 soon, and I’m frustrated because I’m not where I want to be at this age. I haven’t even travelled. I’ve been making money for five years, and I’ve never just spent on a whim.

    I’ve achieved my 18-year-old dreams, but now, I’m just looking for the next finish line. I just want to hit that ₦1m/month mark so I can finally chill and stop running for a second. Maybe even take an international trip. I’ll probably want more money when I hit ₦1m, but let me get there first. 


    *Name has been changed for the sake of anonymity.


    NEXT READ: I Gave Up My Career for My Husband. Now, I’m 40 and Starting Over

  • Junaid* (44) has been married for 14 years. As a teenager, he wasn’t even sure he would ever have his own family. Watching his father struggle financially shaped how he saw marriage for years. When he eventually became stable and found a partner who aligned with him on money, he believed that was enough. More than a decade later, he’s realised financial stability is only one part of what keeps a marriage steady.

    This is his marriage diary.

    I didn’t even think I’d have my own family

    I think my idea of marriage changed many times throughout my life.

    As a teenager, I didn’t even think I was going to have my own family. I saw how expensive it was to raise one. My dad would complain after every salary. The money was never enough, no matter how many side quests he undertook. There was always something lacking.

    I watched him become the villain in situations that were really about limited resources. When you don’t have enough to go round, somebody is always unhappy. I just kept wondering if I would ever be financially comfortable enough to raise my own family without that kind of tension.

    But when I got into university and started learning how to make money on my own, that mentality started to change. I began telling myself that maybe I could actually afford to raise a family, as long as I didn’t have multiple wives and children as my dad did. I knew I wanted something more controlled, something I could manage.

    When I eventually met my girlfriend, who became my wife, we aligned on almost everything, especially financially. She wasn’t overly demanding. She appreciated what I was able to provide and even chipped in when she could. It was hard to find a woman like that. Most of the women I met wanted a man who would handle everything on his own.

    After I found her, I believed, to a large extent, that our married life would be settled.

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    The person you date is not always the person you marry

    I’ve been married for about 14 years now, and I can say the surprises don’t end. As long as both of you are alive and changing, there will always be something new.

    My biggest surprise has been realising that the person you dated might not be the same person you experience in marriage. You can think you know someone completely. You can think you can predict what they would or wouldn’t do. Then you enter marriage and see different sides of it.

    In my case, there are certain things I later discovered about my wife that, if I had known fully before marriage, I might have reconsidered my options. That doesn’t mean I don’t love her or regret marrying her. It just means I would have preferred to see everything clearly and still choose it willingly, instead of being surprised along the way.

    Sometimes I wonder if she had always been that way, and I just didn’t notice because I was hyper-focused on the fact that she was financially supportive and willing to do her bit in the house.

    I was prepared financially, but not for her phases

    Once I became financially stable, I never doubted my readiness for marriage again. I entered it fully aware of the discipline and sacrifice required to raise a family. In that aspect, I was confident.

    What I wasn’t prepared for were the different phases my wife went through. I struggled with those phases, and honestly, it’s still something that causes issues till today.

    There was the partying phase. Almost every weekend, there was somewhere to go. Aso ebi after aso ebi. Money being spent in ways that made me uncomfortable. Then there was the drinking stage. It started small — one or two bottles to relax — and gradually increased.

    There was also a period when she was switching religions. Church today, mosque tomorrow. That one really shocked me.

    Sometimes I wondered if she had always been like that, and I just hadn’t noticed because I was too focused on the fact that she was financially supportive and willing to do her bit around the house.

    Staying calm through those phases was very challenging. We got into heated arguments. We shouted at each other. At some point, we both even threatened to leave.

    I remember complaining to my mum once. Her response hurt me deeply. She asked, “Didn’t you open your eyes before you married? Or did anyone force you?” At the time, I felt dismissed. But later, I understood she was telling me to handle my marriage without involving third parties.

    Over the years, I’ve had to learn patience and understanding. It hasn’t been easy. But more than a decade later, we’re still here.

    I had to check my own authoritarian nature

    As much as I struggled with her changes, I also had to look at myself.

    I can be authoritarian. If I give instructions, I expect them to be followed exactly. I believe in order. I believe in structure. I expect respect as the man of the house.

    But my wife is strong-willed. She made it clear that I couldn’t just order her around. She wouldn’t do something simply because I said so.

    That caused friction, especially in the early years. I realised I couldn’t speak to her the way I speak to our children. She’s a grown woman, a wife and a mother.

    I still expect respect, but I’ve had to tone it down. I’ve learned to adjust my tone and be more mindful of how I address her. Barking orders only created resistance. That shift didn’t come naturally, but it reduced a lot of tension between us.

    She says I’m not romantic anymore

    It’s hard for me to say if marriage has changed me. Old friends say I’m still the same. I’m still not a fan of parties. I’m careful with money. I can be patient but also very stern. But my wife sometimes says I’m no longer romantic.

    We don’t go on dates like we used to. I don’t splurge on gifts the way I used to. Instead, I focus on making sure the house is comfortable. We have all the kitchen gadgets and electronic appliances that make life easier. The kids have never owed school fees. We are comfortable.

    Providing those things isn’t easy. To me, that is love. Sometimes I feel she should see that acts of service can also be romantic.

    Maybe that’s one area where we still don’t fully agree.

    I almost left, but I stayed for my children

    There was a year when things between us were really bad. I was almost ready to stop trying and just focus on my own life. After all, we already had three children from the marriage. I felt like I had fulfilled my duty.

    But my children were the biggest reason I stayed.

    My dad tried to be present in our lives, but because he was stretched thin, I never really felt his presence. I know how that affected me. I don’t want my children to grow up thinking their father was absent or didn’t care.

    Maybe, when they are older and wiser, they will be able to make certain decisions and understand. But for now, staying is the choice I’ve made.

    If I could advise my younger self, I would slow down. I would take more time to see all the versions of the person I wanted to marry. I had a friend who used to “test” his girlfriends with different scenarios, and I thought it was childish and immature.

    Now I understand it differently. Testing isn’t just about them. It’s about understanding your own limits;  what you can take and what you cannot.

    If I could go back, I would wait a little longer.

    *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.


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