senator | Zikoko!

Citizen is a column that explains how the government’s policies fucks citizens and how we can unfuck ourselves.

Hey, hope you didn’t buy the Nation newspaper this morning, because, technically what you would have bought was a birthday card.
Big Flex

Well, this man here bought the newspaper and here’s what he found – a national birthday card!

https://twitter.com/oluwatroy_/status/1308140316998983684

And it slaps harder like a Nigeria soldier if you accompany it with a birthday song:

The version I should have posted. 🙄 pic.twitter.com/AHMhY1V9lJ
— Odogwu™ (@oluwatroy_) September 21, 2020

What do people think about this trojan horse, sorry newspaper?

1. Investigate them

I counted about 60 pages of full page adverts in a single paper. Those that paid for those adverts need to be investigated.
— Elon Church (@SaltOfLiife) September 22, 2020

2. This is a free copy, right?

I hope this copy is a free copy to their loyal readers and they don't have to pay for it?
— The enigma (@AdekayodeO) September 22, 2020

3. What’s more miserable than wanting read miserable news?

Imagine buying newspaper to know what is happening in this miserable country then this….. 🤦🏾‍♂️
— Mr. CeeJay (Event Slayers) (@Mr_Cjosky) September 22, 2020

4) Anger, just anger

https://twitter.com/ti_lokaytobahd/status/1308297905736876032

Moral of the story:
1. When you’re big you’re big.
2. Anything you see in Nigeria, take it like that.
3. Know the two things above and know peace.
Senator Ben Bruce is one of the most popular Nigerian politicians and businessmen on Twitter (His fingers are always at work).

When he’s not dropping fake deep quotes…

Leadership, pure and simple, is defined as the provision of solutions and not the apportioning of blames.
— Ben Murray-Bruce (@benmurraybruce) April 6, 2016

He’s starting a movement…

Nigeria has a population of 160 million. Imagine if we all buy made in Nigeria. In no time the Naira will appreciate #BuyNaijaToGrowTheNaira
— Ben Murray-Bruce (@benmurraybruce) February 18, 2016

And failing at it of course, with his infamous book launch.

https://twitter.com/PRODEEGY/status/702369700433567744?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

He goes on rant after rant.

https://twitter.com/benmurraybruce/status/718134875178414080

And is now into trailer jamming.

If this your prayer is ever answered, the first person that would be punished is your English teacher! pic.twitter.com/qzZhyM1wx8
— Ben Murray-Bruce (@benmurraybruce) April 8, 2016

And clapping back.

With grammar like this, why wont they wail? It's 'with', not for. For instance, YOU are synonymous with bad grammar! pic.twitter.com/qlmXgNpXIu
— Ben Murray-Bruce (@benmurraybruce) April 7, 2016

And giving sharp responses to anybody who dares to try him.

My brother, I don't want to be their 'vocal'. So I was 'chairman' of NTA? Can you imagine? And I never even knew! pic.twitter.com/vmedWqMOV9
— Ben Murray-Bruce (@benmurraybruce) April 5, 2016

Hay God!

You see! Apparently we are also spending more time in fuel stations than at schools! pic.twitter.com/Mxe3wmI24u
— Ben Murray-Bruce (@benmurraybruce) April 4, 2016

When the senator you voted for chooses a different career path in Twitter pettiness.

When you realise he takes time to actually screenshot the tweets and then trailer-jam.

When you wake up and realise Uncle Ben has started tweeting his “Common sense” tweets.

Maybe he should take his Twitter fingers to his constituency and put them to work.

We sha have few words. Uncle Ben, face your work abeg!!

Big Flex

What do people think about this trojan horse, sorry newspaper?

1. Investigate them

2. This is a free copy, right?

3. What’s more miserable than wanting read miserable news?

4) Anger, just anger

Moral of the story:

Senator Ben Bruce is one of the most popular Nigerian politicians and businessmen on Twitter (His fingers are always at work).

When he’s not dropping fake deep quotes…

He’s starting a movement…

And failing at it of course, with his infamous book launch.

He goes on rant after rant.

And is now into trailer jamming.

And clapping back.

And giving sharp responses to anybody who dares to try him.

Hay God!

When the senator you voted for chooses a different career path in Twitter pettiness.

When you realise he takes time to actually screenshot the tweets and then trailer-jam.

When you wake up and realise Uncle Ben has started tweeting his “Common sense” tweets.

Maybe he should take his Twitter fingers to his constituency and put them to work.

We sha have few words. Uncle Ben, face your work abeg!!