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If you were among the “happening” boys and girls in secondary school, then you definitely used or knew someone who used at least 7 of the products in this quiz. These were gateway drugs to the expensive perfumes and fancy makeup lines we use today.
Give it a try:
11 Of Our Most Popular Geography Quizzes
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Whether you were actually a prefect or not, we know which role would have suited your personality. Take this quiz and we’ll let you know whether you were head prefect or social prefect material.
Go ahead:
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Everyone who attended secondary school in Nigeria probably has a bunch of great memories, but we are sure there are some terrible ones too. Here are 16 sentences that will remind you of how annoying secondary school could be sometimes.
1. “ALL STAND GREET!”
The pain you felt whenever that annoying teacher entered the class.
2. “What was the last thing I said?”
Why did they love stressing us?
3. “Everyone tear out a sheet of paper.”
You knew failure was around the corner.
4. “You have just 10 minutes more.”
You never understood how the time always flew by.
5. “PENS UP!”
The worst.
6. “Results are out.”
This sentence always put the fear of God in you.
7. “I’ll be calling out your scores.”
The whole class got to see your shame.
8. “All of you kneel down there.”
Getting dragged into group punishments that didn’t concern you.
9. “Everybody move out for prep.”
Why did this even exist?
10. “The principal is calling you.”
The scariest thing you could ever hear.
11. “LAST JUNIOR!”
The most triggering of all.
12. “When is your next free period?”
That teacher that always wanted to steal your free period.
13. “Just give me 5 minutes out of your break time.”
You now had to watch everyone else play outside.
14. “Come and collect it at the end of the term.”
What you heard whenever your contraband got seized.
15. “Everyone bring out your notes.”
You knew you were about to get flogged for an incomplete note.
16. “Go and wait for me in my staff room.”
That moment you got sent to the land of no return.
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If you went to a Nigerian secondary school, then you should know every single item in this quiz. The real challenge here is remembering the brands responsible for them. Let’s see if you can get more than 7 right.
Go ahead:
11 Of The Most Popular Zikoko Quizzes Of All Time
Here are the best performing Zikoko quizzes ever. Take them.
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If you had a Nigerian parent, then you most likely had to deal with an annoying lesson teacher at some point in your life. Well, for the sake of nostalgia, we’ve compiled 13 hilarious things you’ll relate to if you ever had one.
1. Every lesson teacher’s uniform:
2. “Your lesson teacher is here.”
The worst thing you could hear.
3. When you get home and your lesson teacher is already there.
Can I rest?
4. When your lesson teacher comes during a public holiday.
Don’t you have a life?
5. When your school teacher is also your lesson teacher.
Double wahala.
6. When their time is up, but they continue teaching.
WHAT IS IT?
7. When they come late but still want to use their full time.
Why are you punishing me for your lateness?
8. “Go and get me chilled water.”
Don’t disturb me, biko.
9. When they start cleaning their ear with a biro cover.
Grossssss.
10. When they teach you a different thing from what you learnt in school.
So, who should I believe?
11. When your lesson teacher tries to flog you.
In my father’s house? God forbid.
12. When they refuse to help you do all your homework.
What are they now paying for?
13. When they give you assignment too.
Don’t add to my stress, abeg.
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If you went to a secondary school in Nigeria, then you probably know what a slum book is. Filled with mostly banal questions and a few nosy ones, it was the ultimate way to fish out your crushes and confirm who you real friends were.
1. When your friend doesn’t give you their slum book to fill.
Jesus, is this what it feels like to be betrayed?
2. When no one writes your name amongst finest in class.
So, I am ugly?
3. When someone’s slum book has too many questions.
Abeg, we’ve already done exam.
4. When you find out you’re not your best friend’s best friend.
So, the last few years have been a lie?
5. Girls designing their slum book page like:
Oshey artist.
6. When a teacher gets their hands on a slum book.
Hay God.
7. You, checking to see if your crush likes you too:
God, do it for your child.
8. When your crush writes “nil” instead of their phone number.
What are you forming?
9. When someone you don’t rate gives you their slum book to fill.
Who be this one?
10. “Books before boys because boys bring babies.”
Every girl wrote this.
11. You, trying to think of the perfect phrase to sign out with:
Still landing on “Cool. calm and collected.”
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For everyone who went to secondary school in Nigeria, there are common annoying and borderline traumatic experiences that link us all together. So, we gathered 13 of them to see if they’d trigger some equally funny and unpleasant memories.
1. Losing these weeks to exams:
Your enemies have won.
2. When two seniors are giving you opposing instructions.
What is this stress?
3. “Tear out a sheet of paper.”
Excuse me?
4. When you see your name in the list of noisemakers with “X 6”.
Based on what?
5. “All stand greet.”
Here we go again.
6. The sound of this:
The worst sound ever.
7. “Last junior.”
Can’t be me.
8. These outfits:
Ugly nonsense.
9. “Everybody kneel down.”
Hay God!
10. “Don’t touch it or I’ll start again.”
The last thing you want to hear when they are flogging you.
11. When they finish flogging you and your friends start saying sorry.
That’s actually making it worse
12. “You forgot to collect the homework.”
Shut your damn mouth, oversabi.
13. Never having a complete case of this:
It’s like they stand up and run away.
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Back in secondary school, people starved for months just so they could use their pocket money to buy stupid gifts (or stage elaborate gestures ) for their then significant others. Tell me. How did those relationships turn out? Do you even still remember their names?
You didn’t expect to be shamed when you opened this article, did you? Well, sit back, relax, and grab a snack because there’s more on the way. Here are 5 valentine’s day gifts you most likely gave or received in secondary school.
1) A Card
Full of mushy heartfelt and sincere wishes written by some poor child in a Chinese sweatshop. All you did was write your name at the end and hope that the sentiments expressed in the card were enough to get you to second base.
2) Flower
SAMSUNG CSC Notice how I said “flower” and not “flowers?” That’s because they usually bought that single synthetic rose (you know the one) that smelled like camphor. Seriously, one strong sniff of those things was enough to instantly get you to Chernobyl-levels of cancer.
3) Perfume
Perfumes that were more water than fragrance and had the most insane packaging e.g. having the bottle be shaped like a woman striking a sexy pose and the cover be a giant flower, making the woman look like a distant relative of Toad from Super Mario.
4) Love-shaped picture frame.
The ones nobody could ever use because no photographer back in the day developed pictures that small.
5) Teddy Bear
They were hella cheap too so they always fell apart slowly over a couple of months like a poorly-built build-a-bear project. It was the thought that counted, though.
#ICYMI: We made a new show named Blind Date in which we sent a bunch of single people on an all-expense-paid date, interviewing them before and after they met. The first episode drops February 14 (Valentine’s Day) on our YouTube channel.
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For many people, the start of a new school term was something to look forward to. The excitement to start a new class, the eagerness to use new textbooks, and of course, school also meant a lot of people got a long-ass break from being the grumpy in-house maid. And there was you who liked to add a week to your holidays. You didn’t feel the urgency others felt to return to school, you would be there for the remainder of the year, so what was the rush?
Now is the perfect time to remind you of everything you faced whenever you eventually decided to “show your face”.
The struggle to get a seat
Your mates had been moved to a new class, and the early birds seemed to have taken all the good spots. Your friends, who you had hoped would help you get a seat, sly you. It meant doom because you had to take wherever was available, which could be the one spot with a direct view of the teacher.
Your friends had moved on from you
The minds of children are fickle, and your first experiences of that were during your secondary school days. It turned out that the people you thought were your friends really couldn’t give two shits if you came back. It was one thing for them to have new seat partners, and another thing for them to have settled into a life without you in it.
There was a mountain of work to catch up on
Yes, this was a given. Nobody was going to wait for you before serious work started. It’d been only a week, but there were series of class works and assignments already. And of course, the hardest part of it all was the notes you had to copy. When you got to the senior class, this became even more of an inconvenience because, biology and economics.
But none of this mattered because you were the flyest
New term, new school bags, uniforms, and shoes. The others got the same new things, but theirs didn’t count as new anymore. Yours were the newest and you couldn’t be caught un-fresh. The tardiness may be a thing your teachers hated, but your drip was forever.