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  • Marriage proposals are one of the biggest steps in any relationship. For some, it’s a gesture anyone should be free to make. For others, it’s a role tradition has firmly assigned to men. But why do people feel so differently about it?

    To find out, we asked Nigerians across gender identities and age groups whether they think women should propose.

    Men

    “I’m glad my wife proposed” — Usman*, 46

    My wife proposed to me, and I’m glad she did. We had a beautiful relationship, but I was unsure about taking the next step. I loved her, but the responsibility of building a family felt heavy, and I was scared. When she proposed that we get married and promised we could figure things out together because she didn’t want to wait anymore, it helped me make the decision.

    For me, her taking that step was an act of love. It showed me how much she wanted our life together. Men aren’t used to having things done for them, and we’re rarely on the receiving end of grand gestures, which is sad. Five years later, I can say it was the best decision we made.

    “A man would agree because it’s convenient” — Chuka*, 30 

    I’m on the fence because it really depends on the nature of the relationship. It only makes sense when you’re sure your partner genuinely loves you and wants to be with you. Men sometimes say yes out of convenience, and that kind of “yes” doesn’t always last. 

    Women, on the other hand, are usually more deliberate when accepting proposals, which is why it often works better when they’re the ones making the final call.

    I wouldn’t advise a woman to propose if she isn’t completely sure about how invested her partner is or whether he’s ready for that next step. But if she’s certain they’re aligned and she knows he wants to marry her, then she can go ahead.

    “I’d love to be proposed to” — Akin*, 25 

    Yes, a woman can propose. As a man, I’d actually like to be proposed to. There’s a kind of love and desire that comes through in that gesture. Most couples would’ve already discussed marriage and be on the same page before anyone proposes, but the proposal itself is the final signal that says, “I think things are stable enough for us to make this real.”

    The person proposing wants to feel financially, emotionally, and mentally prepared, which is why the timing can vary significantly. At the end of the day, a proposal is really just someone saying, “I’m ready to get married to you.” It shouldn’t matter if they’re offering the biggest diamond in the world or just proposing over a private discussion.

    Proposals should be about wanting to initiate a romantic gesture to your partner, regardless of gender. 

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    “Culturally, women proposing isn’t a problem” — David*, 23

    Anyone should definitely be able to propose. It’s your life, and it feels unfair to sit around waiting for someone to make that decision just because we’ve turned it into something shameful for women. If you look at it culturally, there were times when a bride’s family could approach a man’s family to suggest marriage, or the groom’s family could initiate things. Nobody was shamed for taking the first step.

    Now that individuals make these decisions for themselves, why should it suddenly become one-sided? I’d honestly be glad if someone considered me enough to propose.

    Women 

    “I was shamed for asking a man out” — Molara*, 55

    No, I don’t think it’s a woman’s place to propose. It’s simply not how our society is built. In theory, it shouldn’t be a bad thing, but men are raised to take the lead.

     I once asked a guy out at university. He agreed, but the relationship didn’t go well. Anytime we argued, he’d throw it in my face that I was the one who begged him into it. I learned from that that when you make the first move, some men start to disregard you or treat you like you’re easy.

    If a woman wants things to move forward, she can hint at it or ask friends or family to talk to him. If he decides not to pursue it further, then you have your answer.

    “Women should be able to direct their future” — Sophia* 28

    Yes. As a radical feminist, I don’t like marriage because it’s patriarchal and often takes away women’s agency. But since many women will still choose to marry, I believe they should be able to direct the future of their relationships.

    No one should kneel to propose, and public proposals feel manipulative. But women should be able to tell a man they want marriage instead of waiting for him to decide. The shaming of women who propose keeps many women stuck in long relationships, living in “pause mode,” hoping a man will eventually ask.

    It’s also hypocritical that the same people who shame women for proposing are the ones giving men ultimatums. That double standard gives men room to be manipulative and discourages women from being assertive.

    Marriage may be patriarchal, but women shouldn’t be mocked for initiating it when men are praised for doing the exact same thing.

    “It only works in theory” — Brenda*, 28

    I don’t think women should propose. For me, the answer is no. I was once open to it, but that changed after an incident I witnessed in 2017. A woman proposed, and the way people spoke to her and talked down to her afterwards was terrible. It made me realise it’s not worth it. Men can be cruel in how they present things, and their egos can worsen the situation.

    In theory, I don’t have a problem with the idea, but with the way things are now, and how men behave, I can’t support it. Our society isn’t at the level of understanding or equality where a woman proposing would be taken well or benefit her in the long run.

    I think couples should talk about marriage before any official proposal happens, but as for the actual act of proposing, I don’t think women should be the ones doing it.

    “I need men to beg” — Cynthia* 23 

    No. I need men on their knees begging to marry women. Honestly, women proposing looks good on paper, but it’s not a great idea in practice. If you’re the one chasing a man, he might just go along with it because it’s easier. Plenty of men admit this.

    People say it’s a way for women to show initiative or get the kind of proposal they want, or maybe to push things forward if the man is hesitating. But why would you want to be in any of those situations to begin with?

    I know there’s some internalised misogyny in how I feel, but women already do the most emotional labour and deal with more pressure in relationships. Adding proposals to the list just feels unnecessary. Personally, it gives me the ick.

    Non Binary

    “Proposals are a social construct” — Tolu*, 33

    Generally speaking, yes, women can propose. For me, proposals shouldn’t have a gender attached to them. The whole idea feels like a social construct. If two people are making life decisions together, why should one person have to wait for the other to initiate it? That’s why you see couples together for years, wanting to move forward but feeling stuck because they “can’t” ask.

    Marriage is a serious decision that should come from conversations about goals and compatibility. For someone like me, who doesn’t conform to most societal norms, any partner I’m with has to be open to sitting down, discussing things, and reaching a conclusion together. That’s why I don’t believe in proposals at all.

    The whole “Will you marry me?” moment feels like a performance. What matters is the discussion behind it, not who kneels first. If we deconstructed the idea of proposals, relationships would be much healthier. People would make decisions based on readiness, not by society’s expectations.

    My partner and I talk about the future and whether marriage is something we want. I’m not ready yet, but those conversations are important because marriage shouldn’t be one person’s decision. As an institution, it often favours one gender over the other, and proposals can even become a form of emotional blackmail.

    “The bolder person should propose” — Iman* 28

    In my opinion, the bolder person in the relationship should be the one to propose. We shouldn’t assign roles based on gender, but it does make sense to consider each person’s unique personality. Who’s more masc-presenting? Who’s more straightforward? Who naturally takes the lead, and who’s more laid back?

    I’m a very laid-back person, even with my current partner. I can’t see myself walking up to someone to say, “Would you marry me?” It would most likely go the other way around. I have a lot of anxiety around that kind of moment, and it’s just not in my nature. I also tend to date people who are more firm and forward, so I’d genuinely love to be proposed to.

    I know men and women who struggle with decision-making, so saying it’s strictly a man’s or a woman’s responsibility doesn’t make sense. Anyone whose personality leans toward taking initiative should be the one to propose, and we need to stop shaming people for doing what fits their relationship dynamic. 

    Read Next: 3 Generations, 1 Question: Is Cheating a Deal Breaker?

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  • Sometimes, life puts you in messy situations where you’re not sure if you’re doing the right thing or not. That’s what Na Me F— Up? is about — real Nigerians sharing the choices they’ve made, while you decide if they fucked up or not.

    Click to share your dilemma

    Angela*, 28, thought moving back to the same city as her boyfriend would seal their bond. Instead, it exposed cracks she couldn’t ignore. Nothing prepared her for his ambush proposal in front of his family and the choice she needs to make about the future of their relationship.

    This is Angela’s dilemma, as shared with Mofiyinfoluwa

    When I moved back to Port Harcourt* after working in Lagos, I was excited about finally being close to my boyfriend, Mike*. We had dated long-distance for almost two years, and I thought living in the same city would bring us closer.

    At first, it felt good. We no longer had those rushed weekend visits and long goodbyes at the airport. He could come over for the weekend, and I could do the same. But four months in, I realised I missed the distance. The thrill of looking forward to seeing him was gone.  

    Now, spending more time together has made me notice things I hadn’t before. Mike is messy. He leaves clothes scattered on the floor, dishes piled up for days, and other small habits I find irritating. On their own, they weren’t huge problems, but because I like order and neatness, I couldn’t ignore them. They started to turn me off and made me question if I could actually build a life with him.

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    Mike noticed that I seemed a little more distant after I moved back, but he assumed it was due to the stress of adjusting. Meanwhile, he kept bringing up our future. From the start, he’d been clear about wanting marriage, and before I moved back, I thought I wanted the same. But when he asked recently, I couldn’t give a direct answer. I wasn’t sure if I still wanted us.

    Three weeks ago, things escalated when he invited me to his mum’s 10th-year memorial. We had planned to go together, but on the day of the event, he told me he wanted to help with errands and sent me a ride. I was annoyed, but didn’t want to disappoint him on such an important day.

    I thought it would be a simple family gathering, but as soon as I walked in, everyone started chanting, “Say yes, say yes.” His cousins had their phones out, recording. Then I saw Mike on one knee with a ring.

    I froze. He never hinted at a proposal, and it felt like a complete ambush in front of his entire family. My emotions hit me all at once: shock, anger, and embarrassment. I didn’t even hear half of what he was saying. When he tried to take my hand, I pulled back and shouted no. Then I walked out and went home. Staying there felt unbearable. I ignored all the texts I got that night.

    Later, Mike confronted me. He was furious that I had “humiliated” him in front of his family and ruined such a special day. He said I made him look stupid, especially since his aunt and cousins had helped plan everything. His family elders also felt disrespected because the proposal tied into his mum’s remembrance. He explained that he’d noticed my recent distance and proposed to reassure me of his seriousness.

    My friends have had mixed opinions so far. Some think I should have handled it differently; said yes in public and rescinded privately to save face. But that felt dishonest. In that moment, I didn’t want to say yes, and pretending would have only made everything worse.

    Now, I feel torn. On one hand, I feel guilty for embarrassing him like that. On the other hand, I can’t ignore that he tried to corner me into marriage, knowing I had never given him a clear answer. Even if he wanted to propose, why did it have to be in front of his entire family without asking me how I wanted it?

    Mike’s family is still upset, and Mike himself keeps asking if I really want to throw away our relationship. The truth is, I don’t. He’s a good man; thoughtful, kind, and genuinely cares for me. I’m not just ready for marriage, and I don’t know if I can overlook the small things about him that already bother me. Sometimes, I wonder if those “little” things will only grow bigger if we actually get married.

    Everyone I’ve told this story to seems amused, but I don’t think it’s funny. I feel stuck, wondering if I messed up by saying no the way I did.

    Read Next: I Dated Him for Six Years, Then Became the Side Chick in His New Relationship

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  • Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.

    The subjects of this Love Life are Blessing* and Tunde* who are both 30. They tell us about meeting through work, two failed proposal attempts and how Tunde pulled what he considers the “greatest scam of all time” by making sure they got married on their shared birthday.

    Click here if you want to be interviewed for Zikoko Love Life

    Did you know you had the same birthday before you met?  

    Blessing: Well, I did. 

    Tunde: Because she was stalking me.

    Blessing: I was doing my job. On December 31st, 2018, my line manager told me to review the CV of a guy who came highly recommended. His birthday was on his CV, and it was the same as mine. So I checked his name on social media to see what he looked like. In his profile picture, he was wearing a waistcoat, looking like a good boy. 

    Tunde: I don’t even own a waistcoat. What are you saying?

    Blessing: I even forgot about it until February 2019 when he started working in the office. I remember the first day I saw him. He was wearing a blue shirt with grey pants, and I said to myself, “Who is this brother?” He looked like such a church boy. I smiled at him, and we had a chat. 

    Tunde: Abi, you fell in love at first sight? 

    Blessing: Lai lai. I did not at all. 

    Tunde: You won’t sweeten this story to make your life great? Anyways, now that you’ve said your own, let me say my own version. 

    Blessing: My version is the truth, and all you need to know. 

    Tunde: When you were talking, I didn’t interrupt you. So let me say my own o. 

    Oya, Tunde, speak your truth

    Tunde: They gave her my CV, and she was blown away so she decided to check me out online. When she saw I was a fine boy, she knew she had to work with me. That’s when she started recommending me to the manager. 

    Blessing: That’s a very big lie. 

    Tunde: But our coworker said you fought for me to join the team.

    Blessing: Your CV was impressive, and I did look for you on social media, but only because of the birthday thing. I didn’t give a shit if they hired you or not. I just needed to get the work done. 

    Tunde: We ended up working in the same team and reported to the same manager. Our manager told me you fought for me. 

    Blessing: You won’t talk about how you saw my big bumbum and became confused?

    Tunde: Who told you that one?
    Blessing: Your friends did. 

    Tunde: I remember seeing her for the first time in the office, dark-skinned with her big bum and tiny waist. I was like wow. When I got back home, I had to tell my friends the women in my new office had yansh. 

    What was working together like? 

    Blessing: We sat together at work, and I like to believe we were friendly towards each other. 

    Tunde: In the office, she’d act as if she cares, but when I travel to the North for work, she’d never text to check in on me. I even had a word with our manager about working in a team of people who don’t care about each other. Blessing never called to ask how my trip went even though she knew I had to travel to all these dangerous places. 

    It’s giving JSS 2. Why did you report her to the manager?

    Blessing: LMAO. He wanted me to talk to him, but instead of meeting me as a man, he went to report me to “Big Uncle” manager. 

    Tunde: It’s not like I reported her. I had a review of culture meeting with the manager in April. Because I typically travelled alone — the company couldn’t afford to send more people — I felt like the team didn’t really have my back. Hers was even more hurtful because we sat together in the office, and she was always tickling me. Then when I travelled, she wouldn’t even bother to find out if I was dead or alive. 

    Blessing: Sorry nau.

    Tunde: Can you imagine. Four years later is when you’re apologising. 

    Blessing: We weren’t that close then. He was a great seatmate, I won’t lie, but I just didn’t care so much. 

    How did you progress to being friends? 

    Blessing: After the manager told me what Tunde said, I started checking up on him. We worked more closely together, and he was fun.

    Tunde: And funny. I’m a funny guy. 

    Blessing: Somewhat funny. He thinks he’s very funny.

    Tunde: Not somewhat. No “I think”.

    Blessing: He’s a gbef, and it’s his gbefness that makes me laugh.

    Tunde: That’s being funny. Do you laugh? Exactly. The thing is that because I’m a funny and fun guy, she couldn’t get enough. She’d call me around 6 a.m. to find out if I was going to the office. 

    Blessing: That was later when I started liking your big head. Nonsense.

    Tunde: Same thing. 

    Blessing: Please, let’s stick to the questions. 

    And you both realised it was more than friendship when? 

    Blessing: After we’d built a solid foundation of friendship in June. We searched for places together while he was getting an apartment. We even used to visit each other on some weekends. It was easy for us to bond beyond the office environment. We also used to come to the office together with one of our colleagues. The three of us would meet at a designated point, so we were in each other’s faces a lot. I started to get these mosquito feeling in my stomach whenever I got a text from him or saw his face.

    Tunde: It’s me that’s mosquito feeling? 

    Blessing: Not you; the feelings. 

    Tunde: What happened to butterflies? Why mosquito? 

    Blessing: It started as mosquitos then moved to butterflies. Now, it’s elephants in my tummy. 

    Tunde: It’s not even cute animals you’re mentioning. 

    The feeling solidified in August 2019 when she started having issues with a lecturer we can’t really talk about. I didn’t want to see her hurt, so it really hit me that I wanted to take care of her. 

    RELATED: Love Life: Our Friendship Means More to Us Than Our Love

    When did you decide to do something about the mosquitoes in your tummy? 

    Blessing: I had a boyfriend at the time. We started dating a couple of days before Tunde joined the company, but along the line, we started having issues. The guy and I broke up in October 2019, then Tunde and I started having relationship-type conversations. 

    Tunde: After she broke up with her boyfriend, she started seeking for me. 

    Blessing: Oh God. 

    Tunde: One Saturday in November, I went to see her, and as I was about to leave, I just started gazing at her. 

    Blessing: I feel like if anyone had carried scissors to cut that tension, the scissors would’ve broken. 

    Tunde: I wanted to kiss her, but I didn’t want to do it first because I’m a bad guy. 

    Blessing: So I did it. 

    Tunde: She told me to come back and kissed me. I knew I would die there. We became kissing coworkers, or co-kissers, if you will. 

    Blessing: He’d come to the office and there’d be tension. We both knew if it weren’t an office, we’d tear each other apart. But we’re great work partners, so we put all our emotions aside to make sure we got work done. 

    Tunde: I want to believe the tension helped us with work. We’d want to finish as quickly as possible so we could focus on other matters. I asked her out twice, but she turned me down because she needed time to think after just coming out of a relationship. But when our office closed for the year on December 19, she came over to my place and we spent Detty December together. On the 29th, I asked her for the third time to go out with me. We were in bed together; she said yes. 

    Blessing: Changed my mind because Detty December made me realise I enjoyed spending so much time with him.

    Didn’t your office have a no-dating policy? 

    Tunde: If anything, our office encouraged it. Everybody dated everybody there. 

    Blessing: It even produced three married couples.

    Tunde: Twice, someone introduced a coworker to their friend or family member, and they got married. 

    Company or dating site? God, abeg 

    Blessing: Dating and working together was great because we got to spend a lot of time together. 

    Tunde: In January 2020, she returned to her place, but honestly, she spent more time at mine than hers. 

    In February, COVID-19 happened, and we spent the lockdown together at my house. I stayed in an estate in GRA at the time and we had 24/7 electricity. Her place in Somolu didn’t, so it made sense for her to work from my house. The first couple of weeks were really good. We didn’t have any problems, and it stayed that way until we found out her dad didn’t like me. Her parents were really attached to her ex-boyfriend. They thought he was a responsible guy who’d eventually marry their daughter. 

    Blessing: Then we broke up for no actual reason. And they thought Tunde was this bad boy who was turning my head. 

    Tunde: Her dad reached out to her in late March to find out how she was doing. She said she was spending the lockdown at home, but he found out his unmarried daughter was living with the same guy he already thought  was turning his daughter’s brain. That’s when all hell broke loose. He’s an influential man, so he started threatening to reach out to some top police officers. That’s how our life went from peace and quiet to chaos and confusion. 

    I was so scared, I had to call my dad and tell him about the girlfriend he didn’t know about. He told me I had to return Blessing to her place so I can get her father’s blessing for the relationship. But it was in the thick of the lockdown, so we had to walk all the way from Ogudu to Bariga before we could see a car to take us to Somolu. 

    Even Fitfam people don’t do like that 

    Blessing: When he dropped me off at my place, I had to let my parents know I was back so they could stop all the police talk. But I didn’t want to let him go, so he stayed with me for about a week. 

    Tunde: I loved he,r and she was really unhappy. I didn’t want to just leave her like that. 

    Blessing: When he left, he stayed alone for like a week before I went back to his place. 

    Does that mean you resolved the problem with Blessing’s dad? 

    Blessing: Not really. There was no light or water in my place, and I needed both to work. My parents live in Edo state, so it’s not like I could go there. They just weren’t seeing that the most sensible decision was to stay in his place and work from there. 

    Since they didn’t agree to see it that way, I just went back to his place and lied to them that I was still at mine. There was no way I’d endure the lockdown period without light, water and my man. We lived together for a couple of months till he had to move from the mainland to the island for his MBA. 

    Tunde: I resigned from the company to do my MBA in January 2021. It was a residency program, so I had to leave her at home and move. It was the first time we had to go long periods without seeing each other. So it was catastrophic initially. She was home alone while I was in school doing this high-intensity programme that sometimes had me studying until 3 a.m. I’ll be too tired to speak to her on the phone, and she couldn’t come visit, so we barely spoke. 

    RELATED: Love Life: We Make it Work Despite the Distance

    How did you get through it? 

    Tunde: This is the part that made me believe our love was meant to be. A couple of weeks after I started the program, she got a job in an office really close to my postgraduate school. Sometimes, when they gave us lunch in school, I’d take some to her. But that wasn’t enough; we had to get creative. 

    Blessing: I started sneaking into his room sometimes.

    Ah? How? 

    Tunde: There were loopholes in the school’s rules, and we exploited that. I won’t go into specifics because I don’t want to give the current students expo. 

    Blessing: I’d sneak from his room to work and then slip back into his room. It was adorable. 

    Towards the end of 2020, he stylishly asked what I thought of getting married. I freaked out about it because I thought it was too soon. He wanted to meet my parents, and luckily for us, my younger sister was getting married to one of his best friends. They did their introduction in the village and he was part of the wedding party, so he used it as an opportunity to meet my dad. 

    Tunde: I always knew her dad would like me. The problem was just that he didn’t know me. So before I went to their place in Edo state to see him face-to-face, I wanted to have a conversation with him over the phone to tell him my mind. I told him I was a responsible man, doing my MBA, and was interested in marrying his daughter. After that conversation, we didn’t speak again until her sister’s introduction in May.

    How did the meeting go?

    Tunde: Do you want to tell them how scared you were? 

    Blessing: I was shaking. My parents can be quite strict, so I didn’t know what to expect. But he came with his friends, and it went well. He became their sweetheart, although it took my mum a bit longer to warm up to him. She was extremely careful because she didn’t want me to go into the wrong hands. It took Tunde, my dad, sisters and even me talking to my mum for her to warm up to him. Now, they’re besties. 

    RELATED: Love Life: I’m Scared to Tell My Parents About Him

    Let’s talk about the marriage proposal

    Tunde: I proposed a few weeks before the official introduction between our two families in August. The proposal was funny because I had to change the venue a couple of times. 

    The first proposal was to happen at the beach in July. I’d planned with my colleagues to use them as a decoy. I’d tell her my office was having a “bring your partner” beach event. That way, she’d have to dress up and gbam! Proposal. Blessing and I stayed in a small studio apartment, and we never hide things from each other. We take all our calls on speaker, and we know each other’s passwords. With my colleagues in on it, they’d know to slip the plan in so it would seem legit. 

    Unfortunately, the Saturday I’d planned to propose, I couldn’t get the logistics right, so I moved it to the next Saturday. However, I didn’t tell my colleagues. When they called during the week, they started asking how the proposal went. She was right there so the proposal couldn’t happen again. 

    Oya, proposal number two 

    Tunde: I was planning to propose to her during our annual office retreat. You were allowed to bring your partner and even kids for the week-long retreat. It was at a really nice hotel, and the aesthetics would’ve been perfect for a proposal. Unfortunately, our Chief of Staff changed the rules and said she couldn’t come because I hadn’t proposed yet. I couldn’t tell her I planned on proposing there because I’d just joined the company and didn’t want it to be weird. 

    The date for our introduction was getting closer, and I wanted to propose before then. But I knew it would be difficult to get her to dress up without looking for a ridiculous excuse, so I had to do the ridiculous. I reached out to a not-so-close friend of mine and got him to invite us to a fake event. Then, I told my neighbours I wanted to propose to her in their apartment. They were in love with the idea. They left their apartment for us so I could get it all set up. I called my friend’s sister to help me out with balloons and everything. 

    While all of this planning was going on, Blessing and I were arguing. Why? Because I kept having to take my calls outside so she couldn’t hear what was going on. While she was accusing me of talking to other women, I was planning her proposal. 

    LMAO

    Tunde: I got a lot of our friends and family involved. On the day of the “dinner” my friend invited us to, I told my neighbours to call me and ask me to come over. They’re a married couple with a two-year-old and were like a big brother and sister to us. So them calling one or both of us over wasn’t new. 

    When I got to the apartment, I called to tell her it was both of us they wanted to see, and she should get ready so we could go from there straight to the “event”. When she got there, I was on my knees with all our friends around and music playing. 

    Blessing: And I laughed so much. When my younger sister got proposed to, she laughed as well, and I was wondering what was wrong with her. It got to my turn, and there I was. Seeing him in his turtleneck, down on one knee with all the balloons, it just looked really funny. I’m not sure I heard anything he said. I just said yes, and he put the ring on my finger. 

    Did anything change once you got engaged? 

    Blessing: Not really. We still remained the cool and adventurous couple.

    Tunde: Maybe our mentality changed. We had to start saving for a house and planning a wedding, so we had all those things at the back of our mind. 

    What was the wedding planning like? 

    Blessing: It was actually cool, not as hectic as I thought it would be. Since my sister got married in August, we had a template to work with. 

    Tunde: We did elevate the template though because our wedding was the bomb. 

    Birthday wedding? 

    Tunde: Look, let me tell you. I’ve pulled the greatest scam in history. Now, instead of celebrating our birthday and anniversary separately, I can lump it together and give one gift. People will read about me. Children will write stories about me. I’m making history.

    Blessing: It’s not like I objected to the idea of getting married on our birthday. Plus, he’s making all this mouth about not buying gifts, but this man is a liar. Since we entered February 2023, he’s been buying me gifts every day. 

    We got married on our birthday because he just thought it was adorable. Now, it’s a story he tells everyone once they mistakenly ask. It doesn’t help that we have the same loc hairstyle. When people see us, they mistake us for siblings then he launches into the “born on the same day and married on the same day” speech. 

    What’s married life like? 

    Blessing: We’re a lot more conscious about building long-term wealth, not just for both of us, but our families are involved now. 

    Tunde: When you get married, you think you’re getting married to one person, but it’s actually a village. You now have to consider family members when doing certain things. We kept trying to figure things out individually, so we argued a lot at first. Like three months in, we realised how important talking to each other about things is. We’d sit up in the middle of the night and cry about stuff. 

    Something else that’s helped our relationship over time is the foundation of friendship. I may be upset with Blessing my babe, but Blessing my friend and I will sit down and talk. 

    On a scale of 1-10, what’ll you rate your love life? 

    Blessing: I’ll rate it a 9. The 1 is because of the possibility of us being more than this. There’s a lot of room for improvement. 

    Tunde: I disagree for the same reasons. Since she said there’s a lot of room for improvement, I’ll rate it a 1. Shebi it’s you that’s looking for room? The 1 means there’s plenty of room for you. 

    Blessing: That room you’re talking about, it’s like you’ll go and collect it outside o, because I don’t understand. 

    Tunde: But for real, I’ll say a 9 as well. We don’t fight, and it’s not because we don’t have growing tension about things, it’s just that we quickly communicate it. It’s been butterflies since we started dating. I feel pretty good about us. 

    RELATED: Love Life: I Found the Love of My Life on Tinder

  • If you’re planning a surprise proposal — like everyone else in the world, apparently — we wrote this for you. 

    Oh, so you’ve decided to propose

    In this economy? Where are you people seeing this money? Were we not singing “Adulthood na scam” together a few days ago? Now, everywhere you turn, it’s pictures of Ikoyi registry. 

    And it’s even a cheesy surprise proposal

    I thought we were all laughing at Instagram surprise proposals together.

    All your hard guy in the mud, it seems

    Next thing now, you’ll say you want to be loyal. What kind of rubbish is this? 

    This is your last chance to know that na mumu dey love

    Come back to the streets. We miss you.

    If you still want to proceed, consider hiding the ring in their food 

    Trust me, I’m a pro. I have an entire article about places you should hide your proposal ring. Spice things up, come on. 

    And don’t tell any of these people

    If you decide to tell these people and your plan fails, that’s on you. 

    Your partner’s younger sibling 

    As a general rule, never trust your younger sibling with any information — proposals, hiding a body, telling them where daddy kept his will.

    Your friend who’s a drunk

    One can of Bullet, and this one will spill all the tea. Your partner will be waiting for you at the proposal venue with their own camera crew. 

    Your partner’s mother

    No mother wants their child to be unprepared for such a big day. They’ll sit them down and tell them everything that’ll happen in intricate detail. 

    Don’t bother telling their beautician 

    Nobody:

    The beautician, while painting their nails: Are you sure this colour will match the ring’s stone? 

    Or anyone around you below the age of 15

    Children can never shut the fuck up. 

    Your side piece

    Proposals are meant to be peaceful, please. You don’t want anyone to show up and pour hot water on your fiancé’s face. 

    Your mother

    She’s a witch, and she’s bad vibes. 

    Also Read: 8 Married Nigerians Share the Biggest Regrets From Their Wedding

  • Market or beer parlour, this quiz knows the exact place you’ll be asked the big question.

    Find out:


  • It’s Valentine’s Day, and your partner just might pop the question.

    Take this quiz to find out how you’d react.