Beyond the health challenges that come with PCOS, the condition can take a toll on women’s professional lives.
From a student with dreams of working in a bank who’s now leaning towards remote work to a woman who had to leave her well-paying job, these Nigerian women open up about how PCOS has impacted their careers.
Image by Freepik
Fareedah*
I have the kindest boss who doesn’t make me feel inadequate for needing time off whenever my period starts. But it’s frustrating to miss out on opportunities just because it’s that time of the month. I always try to compensate by working extra hard when I return, but that also means losing time I could’ve spent with family or on personal projects. Life would be so much easier if I didn’t have to deal with PCOS.
Bisi*
I run my own catering business, so I can take time off whenever needed. But dealing with PCOS has its challenges. I’ve struggled with being overweight for a while, and people love to make backhanded comments about how my weight must be due to the nature of my business. That’s far from the truth. I’ve been on a strict diet even before my diagnosis. Over time, those comments affected my confidence, and I started turning down public events. Now, I’m always self-conscious about how I look in public, and it’s taken a lot of effort to work on my mindset.
Joy*
In 2021, I left my well-paying job in banking, but only my family knew why. I didn’t want to share my PCOS diagnosis with my bosses because I was scared they’d label me unfit to work. I’d seen it happen to others and didn’t want to be passed over for promotions. But not opening up was a mistake. My mood swings and aggression during painful periods were misunderstood, and I became the person everyone thought was difficult to work with. I was only lashing out because I was in pain.
Ibukun*
NYSC taught me I couldn’t do a 9-5 job with PCOS. I worked at an e-commerce company in Ikeja, and we only got one day off per month. If you took more, it got deducted from your salary, or you’d get a query. The first time I asked for sick leave due to period pain, my boss looked at me like I was crazy. He even suggested I plan my day off around my period. I was too stunned to respond. That experience made me realise I didn’t want to depend on anyone regarding something as basic as resting when I was sick. Now, I run my own business and take all the time I need when my period hits.
Ife*
I had a female boss who knew about my PCOS but didn’t care. She’d make comments like, “You’re not the only one menstruating, so why should you get special treatment?” Once, I asked to work from home because I wasn’t feeling well, but she insisted I come to the office for an important meeting. I made it to work, but the pain got so bad that I started rolling on the floor, screaming. She still thought I was faking it until one of the clients suggested taking me to the hospital. The next morning, she texted me asking about work—not even a word about how I was feeling. That was the last straw for me. I quit, and although it hurt because I needed the money, I had to choose my peace of mind.
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Abibat*
I’ve always dreamed of working in one of the new-generation banks, but the stories I’ve heard about how difficult it is to take time off keep making me rethink it. I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2022, but even before then, I’d always had intense period cramps. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve missed classes or tests because of my period. It scares me to think about the choices I’ll have to make when I start working. I already know I’ll lean towards remote work—not because it’s what I want, but because it’s what I’ll need to do to manage my health.
Are you looking for more information about PCOS? Famasi Africa has worked on a resource, and it’s full of practical tips and essentials for Nigerian women navigating PCOS. Find it here.
I was looking to speak with women whose struggles with PCOS have affected their relationships when I found Ife*(31).
She shares how painful period cramps in university made her the centre of unwanted attention and ultimately robbed her of her closest friends.
As told to Adeyinka
There are many things I don’t like remembering about my experience in uni, but my painful periods top the list.
The first time I experienced extreme period cramps was in 200 level. I had just moved into a self-contained hostel with my coursemate, who had become my closest friend. Before then, my period pains were moderate and manageable, with felvin medication and tea usually doing the trick.
But this time, it was different. One morning, I woke up with heavy blood stains on my bed and excruciating pain in my lower abdomen. I brushed it off, thinking I had overindulged in sweets before my period, cleaned up, and took some felvin.
But as the day went on, the pain worsened, and I started feeling dizzy. I called my roommate, who had left earlier for class, to return and help me get to the clinic. I hated inconveniencing her, but we were practically like sisters at that point, and there was no one else I could have called.
At the clinic, the nurse asked if I’d ever had such intense pain before. I hadn’t. They gave me an injection, and within minutes, the pain subsided. I returned for a second dose the next day, and by the third day, everything seemed normal. I was relieved, thinking it was a one-time thing.
I had no idea the worst was yet to come.
The following month, the pain came back tenfold. It was indescribable—almost like someone clawing at my insides with nails. It was so bad that I woke up one morning on the floor clutching my stomach, screaming, crying and rolling back and forth.
My roommate panicked when she saw me. She rushed out of our room and returned with some other female hostel mates, but no one knew what to do until someone suggested taking me to the clinic again. I can’t remember the events that played out afterwards, but I woke up later at the clinic with my roommate by my side. She’d called my parents, and as soon as I was awake, she redialed them so I could speak to them.
After that episode, the pain became a regular occurrence. I started dreading my period because it came with embarrassment. Everyone in the hostel always knew when I was on my period because of the constant screaming. Even some okada riders and nurses knew me on a first-name basis.
I became a “monthly regular” at the clinic, and people began making weird remarks. One nurse even suggested that I might have a “spirit husband” causing the pain and invited me to her church for deliverance. Although I didn’t pay much mind to her, there were times I considered the possibility of the entire thing being spiritual.
While all these went on, I started to notice a shift in my roommate. She was always there when I wasn’t on my period, but when it started or she knew it was almost my time of the month, she would make herself unavailable.
She’d stay with another friend for an entire week or come home very late on the days she chooses to stay in the hostel. I could’ve sworn she was monitoring my cycle because her timing for the visits and long nights always seemed too much of a coincidence.
I was hurt and lonely but also understood. Once, I fainted during a bad episode, and my roommate was really freaked out. I woke up to people in my room and she was in a corner crying. That week, she didn’t really say much to me, she just became distant.
When we had a conversation, she admitted she was scared, saying she didn’t know what she would’ve done if something worse had happened. Honestly, I don’t think her reaction was far-fetched—there were times I thought the pain would kill me.
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It wasn’t just my roommate who withdrew. Some of my other friends also distanced themselves. I always tell myself that it wasn’t out of malice or callousness; they were just scared and didn’t know how to help. Looking back, I can’t blame them. We were all in our early twenties, and none of us had the experience to deal with such health emergencies.
After 200 level, my roommate moved out of the hostel. She made excuses about needing privacy because she was dating, but I knew the real reason. We didn’t talk much after that because I still felt hurt by her decision to move out.
In 2018, during my NYSC, I was finally diagnosed with PCOS. A women’s health NGO came to camp offering free consultations, and they referred me to a specialist hospital after hearing my symptoms.
Since starting medication and making some lifestyle changes, the pain has lessened, but there are still days when it gets bad. I scared my husband two years ago when the pain hit in the middle of the night. He had to call some of our older neighbours for help. But at least with him, I know he won’t up and leave like my friends did.
Are you looking for more information about PCOS? Famasi Africa has worked on a resource, and it’s full of practical tips and essentials for Nigerian women navigating PCOS. Find it here.
Navigating life as a woman in the world today is interesting. From Nigeria to Timbuktu, it’ll amaze you how similar all our experiences are. Every Wednesday, women the world over will share their experiences on everything from sex to politics right here.
The subject of today’s What She Said is a 24-year-old woman who talks about studying pharmacy to please her parents, getting withdrawn from school after failing a semester, and finally studying what she wanted.
Let’s talk about your childhood
Growing up, I was a very shy child. I wanted to be noticed and to also stand out, so I decided I would be either a journalist or a military woman. However, as I grew older, that changed.
When I was 12, I fell in love with agricultural science when I was taught in school. Seeing green leaves and plants made me feel excited, so I told my mother I wanted to study that.
What did she say?
She actually didn’t say anything. What she did was to tell my dad. There’s nothing you tell my mum that she won’t relay back to him.
One day, while my dad and I were out, he brought it up. He didn’t tell me directly to study medicine instead, but it was there.
When I was 13, my brother wrote JAMB. My dad wanted him to fill medicine as his course of study, but he refused. I remember seeing the hurt in my dad’s eyes. In that moment, I made up my mind that I’d study medicine and please him. My plan was to farm as a hobby once I made money.
So, you studied medicine?
I actually didn’t, but I didn’t study agricultural sciences either. I applied for a medicine related course – pharmacy instead. I felt I couldn’t do medicine because I wasn’t exceptionally smart. Plus, since it was a medicine-related professional course, I’d still work in the hospital.
How did your dad take it?
Initially, he was annoyed when he found out that I didn’t choose to study medicine, but I explained to him that although I had a high chance of getting a good jamb score, it might not be good enough to get me medicine because of how competitive the course is. It’s funny because I was actually right. All the people that got around the same score I got were given either veterinary medicine, biochemistry, anatomy, physiology or microbiology.
How did studying pharmacy go?
It started off sort of well. I had one carryover in my first semester and I doubt I ever recovered from it. I got the carryover because they had changed the test format. I thought the test was objective, and so I read for that, only for them to make the test subjective. I cried so much when I saw the result because that was the first ever major failure I had gotten in my life.
I was determined to bounce back in my second year, but it was hard because I couldn’t take some courses until I passed my carryover. From my very first year studying pharmacy, I knew I was going to have an extra year.
It gets worse. In my third year, I carried over almost all the courses I took. There was no definite reason why. It was rather, a combination of a lot of things. I was sad, tired, and exhausted. I had a lot of clashing classes because of the courses I was still taking from my lower class. Studying got even harder to do. There were back to back tests and I was extremely anxious because I was scared of failing again. It was a really difficult year for me.
I’m so sorry. Did your dad know?
He didn’t. I was too ashamed to call home. I wanted to fight all on my own, so I decided to repeat the entire session so I could retake all the courses I failed. To my surprise, I failed again. This time, it was because I fell sick during exams. My test results were good, but the exams were awful. It destroyed my CGPA, and I was placed on probation by the school.
Honestly, I should have applied for a deferral. It’s just that the thought didn’t cross my mind until one of my lecturers saw me repeating a class. When I told him I fell sick, he mentioned the deferral, but it was already too late. I was on probation.
It was after being put on probation I decided to tell my dad what was going on. We spoke extensively, and I still convinced him I could do it. So, I pushed on to year five, with courses from year three and four still on my neck and a probation.
I managed to pass, but my overall CGPA was not enough to get me out of probation. I was constantly praying for death. I’d rather die than see myself disappoint my father.
Having pcos didn’t make it easier for me. The increased anxiety and depression PCOS brings made everything even harder.
The first time I had my period was when I was 11, and it was absolutely painful. Since then, it comes about once or twice a year. Nobody enjoys seeing their period, so I wasn’t bothered because I felt I was God’s favourite.
In 2017, I went to see my gynaecologist to complain about my lack of a period. After some tests and ultrasounds, I was diagnosed with PCOS. However, I only decided to get treatment for it in 2018 because the people around me were worried by the fact that I hardly ever saw my period. When I went to the hospital, the doctor told me that I didn’t need to worry about it and should come back when I want to have a baby.
Not really. The fact that I don’t see my period regularly doesn’t bother me. I even prefer it this way. What does bother me is the other side effects like anxiety, depression, weight gain, acne and a host of others. Even the infertility aspect doesn’t bother me as much. I’m a muslim woman, and if my husband marries more than one wife, I could help take care of my stepchildren. Also, I’m very open to the idea of adoption.
When was the last time you saw your period?
In March, after my gynaecologist placed me on some medication. I bled for 20 days consecutively and decided I didn’t want to do that anymore, so I stopped taking the medication. I can’t be dealing with school and never ending bleeding.
Yes, about school. What now?
Well, because my CGPA wasn’t enough to get me out of probation, I was withdrawn from the faculty of pharmacy in my final year. Then, I reapplied for a change of course to the agriculture department.
How is that going?
They haven’t approved my application yet, so my parents are still trying to convince me to study pharmacy again, but I don’t think I can. If my application is denied, I’d rewrite JAMB next year and apply for agriculture.
Do you think all of this could have been avoided if you just studied Agriculture from the beginning?
Honestly? Yes, I do. Agriculture is a four year course. It doesn’t have a schedule as tight as pharmacy, and I genuinely enjoy it. They also wouldn’t have asked me to withdraw from the faculty because I have a CGPA that’s less than a 2.4.
Does that make you resent your parents?
No, it doesn’t. Why will I resent them because I failed? I wouldn’t have if I had passed and gotten good grades.
Trying to get my life together again. I don’t sleep as often at night anymore because I keep thinking of how I can no longer be dependent on my parents. I also worry about failing agricultural sciences. What then will I do with my life? It’s only book I know; I’m not a business person. I just need everything to work out for me.
I hope everything works out well for you.
Thank you.
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Navigating life as a woman in the world today is interesting. From Nigeria to Timbuktu, it’ll amaze you how similar all our experiences are. Every Wednesday, women the world over will share their experiences on everything from sex to politics right here.
The subject of today’s What She Said is a 26-year-old woman. She talks about not really having a childhood, not wanting children, living with PCOS, wanting a hysterectomy, and wanting more money.
Tell me something about your childhood.
Growing up was fun. I’m the last born and even though my parents didn’t have much, it never really bothered me. I was somehow still very spoiled and protected.
I didn’t have toys or watch cartoons because we didn’t have cable and I was growing up with people 5-11 years older than me.
That’s a huge age difference.
My siblings are all way older than me. I am 26 now and my parents still ask for their approval about things I want to do with my life. It’s like my siblings are my parents and my parents are higher authorities.
How does that make you feel?
It doesn’t bother me much. I just wish my parents would take me more seriously, but I don’t see that happening. I know my siblings always have my best interest at heart and it’s a lot easier to go through them till I no longer have to.
They’re also very close and that’s what I knew. I learned friendship from my siblings. We are friends with each other and always have each other’s backs. It’s nice and warm.
They have been very big influences on my life. From listening to rappers like DMX, Ja-Rule, Snoop Dogg and a lot of artists from the early 2000s because of my older brother, to getting a PCOS diagnosis with the help of my sister.
I’d never had regular periods. I started seeing my period in 2006 and even then they weren’t regular. I told my mum about it, but it wasn’t a big deal until I didn’t get my period for 5 months at a stretch in 2012. We went to the doctor and he said it was stress from writing WAEC. The period eventually came in October and came for a while. It was on and off.
I started having sex in 2016 and didn’t get my period for months. I took multiple pregnancy tests and they kept coming back negative, so I eventually told my mum about the delayed period and she insisted we go to a gynaecologist to get me checked.
Before that, I’d done some hormone tests, so I already knew I had a hormonal imbalance. I just didn’t know it was PCOS. My sister has PCOS and my mum is a retired nurse, so she put two and two together and she said I probably had PCOS too but wanted a proper diagnosis. I went to two different gynaecologists, and I got the diagnosis.
I went to a government hospital and then I went to a fertility hospital. I got a scan to check the size of the cysts and my female gynaecologist told me not to bother so much about it till I’m ready to have kids, but I don’t even want to have children. Not for any particular reason, I just don’t care much for them. I have two nephews and a niece I love very much but I’m not keen on having any of my own.
What happened after the diagnosis?
I got medication and I’m very nonchalant about it. I didn’t really start paying attention to my PCOS until this year when it felt like it was going to kill me. It was like every single symptom hit me at once. It was insane and drove me to read a lot about PCOS. The more I read, the more sense things made.
I got period pain so intense, I couldn’t sleep. I was taking medication, but it wasn’t working. I was even having hot flashes.
I’ve only had two periods this year and they’ve both come with different madnesses. I had to induce the first one by taking the medication my doctor prescribed and the period lasted for 16 days and left me depressed and ill for the whole month. The second period I had this year came on its own but it felt like all the blood in my body was going to drain out and it lasted five days. Honestly, I’m really looking forward to a hysterectomy.
That’s very intense. Why a hysterectomy?
I don’t want a uterus anymore, and I want to live a life free from PCOS even if it’s just for my mental health. I went from a size 12 to a size 18, and I’ve had bouts of severe anxiety. It’s also worse when I’m on any form of medication for PCOS. September was an awful month but I’m a lot happier in October. No more medication, plus I was a lot more intentional about my happiness.
I thought medication made things better?
Better ke!? All the medication did for me was make my period come. It left me miserable. Letrozol, the medication my doctor prescribed for when I hadn’t seen my period, showed me pepper. I would have joint pain and be unable to sleep. I was crying and had to throw it out even though I’d used it for just two days. I’d rather not get a period than be in so much pain.
I don’t know. Nothing happens when I don’t get my period for months. If anything, I’m always so happy. I just want the period because I like to feel like a woman, but it’s like being a woman comes with hardship because why should I be crying for days because I didn’t get pregnant?
There were some times I even tried getting pregnant just for fun, but that didn’t work. No periods mean no ovulation. I’m not so bothered because like I said, I don’t want children. I consider that symptom of PCOS a blessing in disguise.
Since you don’t want children and your uterus is stressing you, why haven’t you done the hysterectomy?
I don’t know how much it costs, but I really don’t think I’d be able to afford it. Also, it’s a really big step and I haven’t given it much thought. I fancy the idea of not having a uterus, but am I ready to give it up? I need to think it through a lot more.
What’ll make life easier for you?
Money. I don’t think about PCOS when I’m enjoying my life. I want to earn enough to survive on my own and that’s one of the reasons I really want to leave the country. I’m only earning enough to make it through a few days post salary day. Money gives you a lot of options, and I don’t have that yet.
For more stories like this, check out our #WhatSheSaid and for more women like content, click here
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Women are very intentional about who they trust with their health and quite a number of women have talked about their different encounters with male and female gynaecologists. For this piece, we asked a few Nigerian women to share their experiences with male and female gynaecologists and here’s what they had to say:
Kim, 26
I have visited both male and female gynaecologists and the experience was the same with both of them. I felt comfortable enough to trust them with my body. There was no fear or judgement; both of them were kind and patiently answered all my questions.
Both visits weren’t in Nigeria. I visited the first gynaecologist in Ghana because I was experiencing irregularities with my period. A female gynaecologist attended to me on that visit to the hospital. The second visit to the gynaecologist was in Nigeria and I was attended to by a man. I was met with the same patience and kindness by both of them.
Sarah, 20
I was 12yrs old when I first visited a gynaecologist. I had menorrhagia and my mum was scared. My male gynaecologist was really nice and welcoming. I have been attended to by another male gynaecologist and he was also very nice. He also made me feel very comfortable.
I still look forward to being attended to by a female gynaecologist.
Racheal, 25
Personally, I had mostly good experiences with female doctors than I did with male doctors and I always picked female doctors over male doctors. A few years ago, I had to do a surgical abortion at a teaching hospital and chose a female gynaecologist for the procedure. She was mean to me, she insulted me and was really rough with me. I cried all through the procedure. The male gynaecologist in the room held my hand and was consoling me throughout the procedure.
She was to insert an anal antibiotic pill in my anus after the procedure, and it wasn’t a small pill. She kept shoving it forcefully into my anus without lube and tearing me up till I started to bleed from my anus. The pain was so intense I cried a lot. She continued to insult me, saying when I was enjoying the sex I didn’t cry. When she couldn’t get the pill in, she just threw it away and stormed off. A nurse helped put the pill in more gently. I couldn’t sit well on my butt for 3 days after that experience.
When I was 17yrs old, I found out I had appendicitis and had to go for an appendectomy. I was advised to see a gynaecologist before going in for the procedure. I was met by a male gynaecologist before proceeding with the appendectomy procedure. The visit was very uncomfortable. It was my first time seeing a male gynaecologist and having to take all my clothes off for the medical examination. Midway into the medical examination, another male gynaecologist walked in. The second gynaecologist was a student.
I was still barely dressed and on the bed when the first gynaecologist started to teach the second gynaecologist. I was obviously very uncomfortable with what was going on, but he still continued. I was hoping he was going to read my body language, but that unfortunately didn’t happen. I eventually voiced out my discomfort to him, he didn’t apologise, he even wanted more time with me to continue teaching his student.
A few years after that, I was diagnosed with PCOS and had to visit a gynaecologist again. This time, I was attended to by a female gynaecologist. She was warm and very kind. It was a far better experience than my first visit.
Kike, 18
Two of my friends got diagnosed with ovarian cysts and womb cancer within a short period of time and that prompted me to visit the gynaecologist. When I got to the gynaecologist’s office, he immediately told me to take off my clothes and underwear, lie on the bed and spread my legs. This made me very uncomfortable and the manner in which he said it was always not helping. His tone sounded very commanding and brusque. I had to lie to him that I was on my period and I was going to come back another day for the medical examination. I have not been back to his office since that day.
Tosin, 25
When I was 16yrs old, I had to go in for a pelvic ultrasound and it was done by a male gynaecologist. He was patient with me, however, he dismissed the other symptoms I complained about and reduced them to stress. A few years later, I had to visit another gynaecologist and I was diagnosed with PCOS. It was another male gynaecologist. He immediately told me to lose some weight and prescribed oral contraceptive pills. His approach also felt very dismissive. I opted for a second opinion and went to see a female gynaecologist. She was more patient, she recommended a different treatment and she shared her experience treating other women with PCOS. I felt a lot more comfortable with her and I have been hesitant to visit male gynaecologists after seeing her.
PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) is a hormonal disorder that is common in women of childbearing age. PCOS has different side effects, varying from obesity, to irregular periods, fatigue and so many other symptoms. Here are a few things many women with PCOS can definitely relate to.
1. Always needing a tweezer.
Hirsutism is a common side effect of PCOS which oftentimes occurs as facial hair. Women with PCOS understand the struggle of always needing to have a tweezer nearby to pick out hair from their chin or the most random spots on their faces.
2. The weight gain.
Gaining weight due to PCOS is not such a fun experience, especially for women who battle with weight loss and self-image issues. Some women gain so much weight and struggle to lose it.
3. Getting told to lose weight.
A common remedy that is often recommended to a woman with PCOS is being told to lose some weight or try out a new lifestyle regimen. A lot of gynaecologists suggest weight loss like it’s the balm of Gilead.
4. Trying out different supplements and hormone treatments.
One thing women with PCOS are definitely going to do is try out supplements. They don’t care for the price of the supplements and they are always willing to pay for hormone treatments and period inducers.
5. Dealing with fatigue from nowhere.
Fatigue is one of the main symptoms of PCOS. You don’t have to do so much more work before you are hit with fatigue from nowhere. Sometimes you wonder if the fatigue is from your funny working uterus or if you are just a lazy person. It’s not you, it’s your uterus.
6. Having to deal with different bouts of sadness.
See, one of the most confusing things has to be sadness. You can be sitting by yourself and get hit with bouts of sadness from nowhere.
7. Trying out different meal plans and diets.
From KETO to any other meal plan you can think of; PCOS babes have tried out all of them.
Are you looking for more information about PCOS? Famasi Africa has worked on a resource, and it’s full of practical tips and essentials for Nigerian women navigating PCOS. Find it here.
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is still largely unspoken about across Nigeria. Many people may have heard about it but a lot of them don’t know what’s true or false about the condition. Here are five myths and facts about Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.
Every woman with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome grows hair in unlikely places.
Though a common symptom of PCOS is abnormal hair growth, where women grow hair on their chins, upper lips, and chest, not everyone with PCOS will have this symptom. Also, some women who don’t have PCOS grow hair in those places as well. In other words, anybody can grow hair wherever.
It’s not possible to get pregnant when you have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.
Many people believe that women with PCOS are unable to get pregnant, and it is untrue. It is a common cause of infertility because of how it affects the ovaries but women can still get pregnant even when they have PCOS.
If your periods are irregular, then you have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.
Yes, irregular periods are a cause for concern and could also be an indicator of PCOS. But not all irregular periods point to PCOS. Other causes of irregular periods are stress, breastfeeding, extreme dieting or overexercising, fibroids, and pelvic inflammatory disease. If you get irregular periods, you should see a gynaecologist.
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is a rare condition
A hormonal disorder that 1 in 10 women of child-bearing age has is not a rare condition, dear. One reason why people think it is rare is that there is not enough awareness about it so people who have it do not know they do. This is why it is recommended to see a gynaecologist as often as you can once you reach 21.
Your actions caused you to have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.
The cause of PCOS has been attributed to a number of factors including genetics and insulin resistance. However, the actual cause is unknown but what we do know is that it’s definitely not something you did to yourself.
The subject of today’s What She Said is a 23-year-old woman who had an ovarian drilling surgery. She talks about PCOS and how it affected her mental and physical health, how unhelpful the doctor who diagnosed her was, and needing an ovarian drilling.
Tell me something about your childhood.
Okay, let’s talk about my first period.
Sure.
I got my first period on the Sunday after my 13th birthday. We were in church, and after service, I went to the bathroom and there was blood. My mum had already given me a comprehensive rundown of periods, so I felt zero panic. I just whispered it to her. We left the church and she gave me a pack of pads when we got home. That was that!
Sounds very stressless.
It was, but unfortunately, that didn’t last for long.
What happened?
When I was 14, I started gaining a lot of weight. I also got really bad cramps whenever I got my period, but I just chalked it up to puberty. I noticed how terribly people treated me once I gained weight. And this went on till I went to the USA for university in 2015.
I don’t know if it was the stress of change or a new diet that triggered it, but my first semester in school, my period came and just didn’t stop.
I tried to ride through it because I’m very stubborn when it comes to pain, but after the 20th day, I went to the campus health centre and got put on the birth control pill. My period stopped then.
At the same time, I gained a lot of weight.
Did you go to the hospital again?
Yes, before I came back to Nigeria for the summer, I went to the health centre one more time. The nurse said that based on what had been going on, I might have something called PCOS and should go to the ob/gyn when I go home.
I googled it, and honestly, it read so fatalistic that I cried for days at the possibility of having it.
That must have been so traumatic for you. Did you still see the oby/gyn?
I did. When I came home, my dad took me to the ob/gyn. I described everything that had happened in the past year and told him about the suspicion of PCOS.
I laid down for an ultrasound, and he pointed at my ovaries on the screen and said, in the most condescending tone, “See that? You have what we in the field call polycystic ovaries.”
It was one of the worst doctor visits I’ve ever had, and considering all the things PCOS does to a body, it was completely unhelpful and almost harmful honestly, but that was my diagnosis.
It must have hurt for someone to have dismissed you like that. What did you do next? Lose weight?
It was such a jarring experience. Since all he said was that I’d be fine if I lost weight, I tried to focus on that. I went on all sorts of diets, did so much fasting and got plied with so many “fat-burning” vitamins and supplements.
None of it worked. I kept gaining weight. My periods were longer and more painful. I was exhausted all the time, my neck got darker and darker, and I constantly had acne. My mental health was in the bottom of the gutter. Overall, I was not doing great.
I’m so sorry you had to keep dealing with all of that.
It’s fine now but not so much then. Since I was fat, acne-ridden with dark patches of skin and constantly tired, people who didn’t know I had PCOS simply assumed I was a lazy slob who overeats. They would offer me all kinds of unsolicited advice. It’s honestly rough to feel like you live in a body that’s constantly hurting and betraying you, and then people add to it by playing doctor with you in a rude, overfamiliar way.
When I went back to school, I had to deal with my studies, my part-time job and extracurricular responsibilities. I didn’t have any energy to devote to taking care of myself. This went on for about three years.
In my final year of school, I decided to visit the campus dietitian a few times, but I found it so hard to take on her suggestions. I was already averaging one meal a day, barely sleeping and the gym was so far on the other end of campus that getting there felt like a full workout of its own. I simply couldn’t handle the effort it would take. It was truly a gift from God that I graduated with the grades I had.
Did graduation change anything? Give you more time to focus on your health?
After graduation, I went online and bought a book about PCOS that I had seen in the dietitian’s office. I started some proper research into PCOS by reading and trying to create a routine for myself. At the time, I had a visa for a year of post-college work (OPT), so I was living in the DC area in the US and working full time. It was fully up to me to make sure I was feeding myself well and getting some daily exercise.
For a while, I seemed to be getting a solid grasp of how to handle things, focusing more on feeling healthy rather than losing weight. But as life and work got busier, I started to slip on focusing on my health.
Despite all I tried to do, I was completely exhausted at the end of each day even though I was at my desk for most of it. My mental health had not improved at all. I didn’t have the physical or mental energy to juggle life, and I kept seeing the lack of progress as me being a complete failure, so my well being took a backseat to all the other stuff going on with my life like my job and visa issues.
COVID-19 hit, and the US was enforcing a lockdown, so I started working from home in March 2020. I tried to rest a lot, but even when I slept for hours, I never felt rested.
Also, at this point, my period hadn’t shown up since January. Still, I made the effort to start eating better and taking a walk every day, and for a while, I was actually feeling pretty good! Then the worst happened, LOL.
What happened?
My job decided not to sponsor a work visa, so my last day would be in July and I had to be back in Nigeria before the end of September. I was gearing up for that emotional rollercoaster when, on June 16th, 2020, my period finally showed up for the first time since January.
I was excited about it and took it as a sign that all the work I was doing was causing changes. Then a week passed and it was still there. Two weeks, three weeks, a month. My period was still going.
July passed and I was looking for COVID exit flights home, but my period was still there. August came and went, September came and was almost over, it was still there. What I and my body went through at that time was unbelievable to me. I was heavily iron deficient, and my iron supplements weren’t really helping considering how much I was bleeding. I spent most of my days in my bed because I had no energy to do a single thing but take a shower and then lie down.
My then roommate had to make my food sometimes because I couldn’t walk down the stairs to cook. I ended up ordering more food than usual so I wouldn’t have to go buy groceries and then cook.
Every other day, because even in my suffering, internalised fatphobia was still hooking me by the throat, I would get up and try to exercise. Every time, without fail, I would barely make it back to my room and sip some water before passing out. Unsurprisingly, I was in the worst depression of my life.
I once saw someone tweet “Is there anything that PCOS cannot do or cause?” And the answer is truly no. In those days, I gave up on trying to fix my PCOS. I told myself that if it killed me, it killed me.
You and your body went through so much. Please tell me it ended eventually.
I decided to just focus on getting home and thinking about further steps when I got there. Hearing what I was going through was very hard on my parents, and they were desperate to get me back in their care. I flew back to Abuja at the end of September.
When I got back, my parents had some good news. They told me that while visiting some family in Ilorin, they were referred to a hospital where the head ob/gyn had a lot of experience and kept up on new research about reproductive health issues, especially PCOS. So, we travelled to Ilorin and met with the doctor. It was the kindest I’d ever been treated by a healthcare professional.
He was very patient with me, listened to my experiences and explained in-depth what was actually going on with my body. I nearly cried at the amount of kindness and clarity I was getting.
I’m so glad. I hope this kindness came with help. Lots of it.
It really did. He ran some tests, did an ultrasound and actually explained what it was showing about my ovaries. When we discussed my weight gain, he was upset with me about how many uninformed decisions I had had to make trying to lose weight, because the doctor who diagnosed me should’ve told me differently.
Through him, I learned that intense cardio is actually bad for people with PCOS because the increased cortisol it causes can trigger weight gain for us, and that weight training, yoga and low impact workouts like walking or a casual bike ride was healthier. Diet-wise, I also learned that PCOS causes chronic inflammation, so more whole grains instead of refined carbs, and a more anti-inflammatory diet would help. Reducing stress is also key because stress worsens PCOS a lot.
What happened after the tests?
After all the tests, he candidly told me that the way my PCOS had progressed, he’d have to suggest a last resort: an ovarian drilling surgery.
How did the idea of surgery make you feel?
I was terrified at the idea, but he calmed me down and explained what it was. it would be done with a camera (laparoscopically), so it was minimally invasive.
They would make two small incisions, go in with a camera and drain a lot of the cysts on my ovaries. It would take at best three hours, and after maybe two weeks of recovery, I would be fully healed.
After talking with my parents, we agreed on it being the best course of action, and since it was way more affordable there than it would be in Abuja, we stayed in Ilorin. We scheduled a surgery for the next Sunday morning.
How did you feel before the surgery?
The day before surgery which was Saturday, October 17th, made it exactly 123 straight days of being on my period. At that point, anything that would bring me lasting relief was very welcome.
I felt a little jittery before the surgery, but overall, I was quite calm. I checked in the night before and had to beg my dad to go sleep in an empty hospital room, otherwise, he would’ve watched me all night. He knows I don’t like to break down in front of people, but he didn’t want to leave me alone. At the end of the day, I was okay.
Knowing I made it out of that honestly helps when people make rude comments about my body. It’s always in my mind that my body and I have survived more than some people will ever deal with.
I’m a lot better! My periods aren’t 100% regular yet because it’ll take a little time for my hormones to recalibrate, but they are shorter than they have been in at least six years.
I feel healthier. I’m taking vitamins and supplements recommended for people with PCOS, and I try to walk with my dog or do some yoga to decompress from the day as soon as I get home from the office.
I have days where I mess up and eat something I know will make me feel like garbage, but keep pushing instead of beating myself up. I’ve lost a bit of weight as well, but I’m working on focusing on how I feel rather than how I look. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
My mental health is also improving. I make a lot of noise about being tired of living at home and wanting to move away, but I really need the care and love I’m getting. Life feels like it makes sense again.
For more stories like this, check out our #WhatSheSaid and for more women like content, click here
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As told to Mariam
Last month, in a conversation about womanhood, Bee told me she had her uterus taken out. Curious, I asked more questions and here’s what she told me:
The doctor found the first cyst during a routine ultrasound. It was 2014, and I was 18 and pregnant. The doctors didn’t know what it was, so nothing happened. Three years later after I moved to the United States, I went to the hospital to complain about some symptoms I had been experiencing. My periods were never consistent. They would come at different times in different months. Some periods came with so much pain and hurt till I cried. I was also experiencing acne breakouts and mood swings. The doctor said she would test for polycystic ovary syndrome.
After a couple of blood tests and ultrasound scans, they found a ton of cysts of different sizes on my ovaries and fibroids growing in my uterus. That was when I knew for sure that I had been living with PCOS and fibroids for a really long time. I had other symptoms I didn’t catch early like a slight insulin resistance, so I was prediabetic.
My doctor told me that there is no permanent treatment for PCOS and fibroids. I would have to manage each symptom with drugs like birth control pills. I said no to the drugs because I worried about the effects on my body. She also said I had to cut back on carbs since my body couldn’t process it normally — this is a general PCOS symptom. I was more concerned about what PCOS was doing to my body — my hormones were a mess, from mood swings to acne. I started working out and I tried doing the keto diet for a few months. I felt better but the diet wasn’t sustainable for me because I like to eat everything.
In 2020, I started feeling uncomfortable. Whenever I peed, I felt sharp pains in my bladder. My lower belly had grown big and felt hard to touch. I thought it was a hernia at first. In August, I went to the hospital for a heartburn reoccurrence, but the doctor said that it was a stomach infection and prescribed drugs for it. Also, she suggested an MRI scan because my stomach was unusually hard. The results showed us that the fibroids in my uterus had grown so large in my stomach that they were crushing on my ureter, and it was affecting my bladder and kidneys. The doctor sent me to a gynaecologist to discuss my options.
My options were taking out the fibroids or the entire uterus. The problem with taking out the fibroids was that there is the possibility of the fibroids reoccurring. Also, there would be a lot of scarring in my uterus. If I manage to get pregnant in the future, my baby and I could die.
After a lot of discussions with my gynaecologist, I decided to take out the entire uterus. She told me that the hospital sets aside money for necessary life-saving surgeries like mine, so I didn’t have to pay a dime.
The doctors did the surgery laparoscopically so there are fewer scars on my stomach and vagina. The whole thing took about four hours. After taking it out, my kidneys and bladder started to hurt so bad, especially when I had to pee. They healed over time, but my ovaries started to malfunction because of the absence of my uterus and PCOS. I had premenopausal symptoms — hot flashes, headaches, chronic insomnia, etc. I started hormone replacement therapy treatment in February 2021 and it helps with the symptoms but I need a new insert, which costs $300 every three months.
Honestly, I haven’t processed how all of this affected me mentally. I told my siblings and friends I could trust about the surgery but I couldn’t tell my mum about it. I knew the idea that her first daughter wouldn’t have any more kids would break her. My siblings told her it was a fibroid surgery. Till today, she doesn’t know. I don’t feel so bad about it because I cannot deal with her being sad. Right now, I am focusing on living my best life.
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For PCOS awareness month, we talk to Doctor Opeyemi , a medical doctor, graduate of Obafemi Awolowo University, social activist, sexual and reproductive rights advocate, a healthcare manager and administrator who has been practicing for three years.
1) What PCOS stands for
PCOS stands for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It is called a syndrome because there are different parts of it.
2) Who it affects
PCOS can be had by woman between reproductive ages. Basically, any woman that has experienced menarche (the beginning of menstruation).
3) How common it is
PCOS is a fairly common illness. Studies that say that ten percent of women who see their gynaecologist are diagnosed with PCOS. If 1 in 10 women walk into a gynaecologist clinic, they get diagnosed with PCOS.
Globally, 1-in-10 women are diagnosed with PCOS
In Nigeria, there are studies that show that 16% of women are diagnosed with PCOS.
4) Some of the common symptoms
a) Menstrual irregularities
It could be reduced menstruation or no menstruation at all. Irregular periods manifest due to the lack of ovulation, or the irregular occurrence of ovulation
Definitions of irregular periods
b) Infertility
In fact, a lot of women do not know they have PCOS until they go to the clinic due to their inability to conceive.
c) Excessive hair growth
This is as a result of the excessive accumulation of androgens
Woman with excessive hair growth as a result of increase in testosterone
d) Obesity
Many of them are obese, and are at risk of getting diabetes later in the future.
5) What it takes for a doctor diagnose you with PCOS
It is important to note that PCOS is a syndrome, so it is not just about the Polycystic ovary. So, there are three main things doctors look out for, and diagnosis is usually made when at least two are present. They are: excessive production of androgens, polycystic ovaries or cysts in the ovaries, or menstrual irregularities.
6) When to get diagnosed
Once you notice any of the symptoms, it is important you go see a gynaecologist to get treatment. Also people that have had other close relatives have it, or those with diabetes.
7) Why a lot of people do not know they have it
Nigeria has a poor approach to healthcare, and an even poorer approach to reproductive healthcare. There are not many people talking about it, or trying to raise awareness on this issue. So, they do not know the right places to go to, or people to ask. Also, seeing as it is not a well known disorder yet, there will be a lot of misdiagnoses.
8) The best way to raise awareness for it:
More people talking about it and having conversations about it. Improved sex education will also help raise awareness for it.
For more PCOS articles click here, and for more general women’s stories, click here
