marriage | Page 3 of 20

To make things easier, we’ve gathered over 200 heartfelt wedding anniversary messages for every kind of relationship, personality, and celebration style. Whether the marriage is in its first year or fiftieth, these love messages are designed to celebrate the magic of a love that’s built to last.

Simple Happy Anniversary Messages

Whether it’s for a couple you admire or your own special day, sometimes a short and sweet message says it best. These simple happy anniversary messages are perfect for anyone who wants to share love, joy, and good wishes in just a few heartfelt words.

A card with wedding anniversary messages

Happy anniversary to a love that just keeps getting better with time.

Wishing you both a lifetime of love, laughter, and memories.

Another year down, forever to go. Congratulations!

Cheers to the love that brought you this far and the journey ahead.

Love looks good on you. Happy anniversary!

You two make love look effortless. Happy anniversary!

It’s one more year of choosing each other. Congratulations!

Happy anniversary to a beautiful couple and an even more beautiful love story.

Here’s to many more chapters in our love story.

May our love keep growing deeper with each passing year.

Time flies when you’re building a life together. Happy anniversary!

Happy anniversary to the couple who shows us what love should look like.

You’ve made it through another year stronger, closer, and even more in love.

Love like yours deserves to be celebrated every day.

Wishing you both continued happiness, love, and harmony.

Here’s to years filled with laughter, love, and everything in between.

One more year of shared dreams, late-night laughs, and unconditional love.

Happy, happy anniversary to a couple who keep love alive and real

May every year you spend together bring you closer and shine brighter.

Here’s to a lifetime of bliss together. Happy anniversary!

Happy anniversary to a match made in love.

Your love has stood the test of time. Cheers to forever!

Happy anniversary! I’m always rooting for your love.

A toast to love, friendship, and growing together.

You’re a reminder that love is worth the effort. Happy anniversary!

ALSO READ: 250+ Deep, Romantic Love Messages That Will Melt Her Heart

Funny Wedding Anniversary Messages

Laughter is one of the best parts of love, and these funny wedding anniversary messages are here to help you bring a smile to your partner’s or loved one’s face. This collection is ideal for lightening the mood.

A couple celebrating their wedding anniversary in the kitchen

Happy anniversary! Thanks for pretending to like my cooking all these years.

There’s no one else in the world I’d rather have snoring next to me.

Happy anniversary! You’re still my favourite weirdo.

You’re stuck with me, and honestly, you should be thankful. Happy anniversary!

We’re proof that love is real… and that opposites attract.

Thanks for being the only person I can annoy forever.

Happy anniversary! I want to spend the rest of my money with you.

Happy anniversary to the only person who truly gets my weird.

Congrats on another year of not killing each other!

My love, I’ve always wanted the best for you–which is obviously me!

Happy anniversary! You’re the best thing I ever found on the internet.

Who knew love could survive your singing in the shower?

Morning breath and all, you’re still the one I want to wake up to. Happy anniversary, my love.

Happy anniversary! Let’s keep confusing people with how well we work.

You’re the reason I smile…and occasionally roll my eyes. Happy anniversary!

Another year of love, laughter, and pretending we’re normal.

After all these years, I still can’t believe you haven’t run away.

Let’s keep doing weird things together until we’re old and even weirder.

Thanks for being my unpaid therapist, chef, and stand-up comedian.

Happy anniversary! You’re still the one I want to annoy for life.

Happy anniversary to us! Year after year, you’re still my favourite gossip partner.

A wedding band is the smallest handcuff ever made. I’m glad I chose my cellmate wisely.

As we grow old together, just remember that I’ll always be the young, hot one! To many more years together. I love you!

I’d say “I couldn’t do life without you,” but let’s not test that.

ALSO READ: 300 Questions to Ask a Girl When “WYD” Isn’t Cutting It

Heart-Touching Anniversary Wishes for your Husband

Let your man know just how deeply you love and appreciate him. These heart-touching anniversary wishes for your husband express warmth, admiration, and the emotional bond that keeps your relationship strong year after year.

A woman sharing wedding anniversary messages with her husband

Happy anniversary, my love. Every day with you feels like a dream I never want to wake up from.

You are my heart’s home, my forever. I’m so lucky to call you mine.

Through every season, your love has been my constant. Thank you for being my anchor.

Happy anniversary to the man who still gives me butterflies after all this time.

You’re my best friend, my peace, and my greatest adventure. I’ll love you forever.

In your arms, I’ve found my safest place. Happy anniversary, my heart.

Thank you for loving me, growing with me, and choosing me every day.

No matter how many anniversaries we celebrate, my heart still races for you.

I still fall in love with you every single day. You’re my forever.

You’ve filled my life with laughter, love, and so much warmth. Happy anniversary, my love.

Loving you has made me a better woman. Thank you for everything you are.

You’ve been my strength in hard times and my joy in good ones. I’m endlessly grateful for you.

Here’s to the man who makes my world brighter and my soul lighter.

Having you by my side makes me the happiest, most grateful and luckiest person in the world. Happy anniversary to my soul mate

Happy anniversary to the man who sees my flaws and loves me more for them.

You’ve taught me what true love really means. For that, I’ll always cherish you.

I didn’t just marry a husband, I married my person. Being your wife is the greatest gift life has given me.

Thank you for standing by me, always. I love you more than words can ever say.

With every year, I love you deeper, dream bigger, and feel luckier. You’ve given me the kind of love I prayed for.

Happy anniversary to my one true love! The thought of spending our future together fills me with so much excitement.

No matter how busy life gets, you’re always my favourite part of the day. My heart found its rhythm the day it met yours.

You’re my forever, and I wouldn’t trade a single moment of our journey together.

You’ve been my calm in storms, my partner in joy, and my heart’s keeper.

Happy anniversary, sweetheart. With you, love only grows stronger, deeper, and more beautiful.

I’ve read many books, but our love story is by far my favourite. Every day with you feels like a page from a beautiful love story.

Every year with you gets sweeter and sweeter. Today reminds me how lucky I am to have found a man like you.

ALSO READ: 150+ Love and Trust Messages for the One You Love

Romantic Anniversary Wishes for your Wife

If you want to make her heart flutter all over again, these romantic anniversary messages for your wife are perfect for showing how much she means. Whether it’s your first anniversary or your fifteenth, they’ll leave her feeling cherished.

A couple celebrating their wedding anniversary on the beach.

To the most beautiful woman who has given me the most beautiful life, a very happy anniversary.

I want to love you, adore you, take care of you and make you the happiest person there ever was for all of time.

You walked into my life and turned every ordinary moment into magic. With every year, I find new reasons to fall in love with you all over again.

You’re not just my wife but my dream, my calm, and my forever. Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.

Happy anniversary to the only person in the world that I want beside me every day and every night for the rest my life. I love you, sweetheart. Happy anniversary!

I still remember the way you smiled at me on our wedding day — and I still feel the same rush.

Happy anniversary to the woman who makes my world brighter and my heart fuller.

You’re my muse, my peace, and the best part of everything I am. I believe everything happens for a reason because it led me to you.

One look into your dreamy eyes and my heart instantly melts. I love you and can’t wait to spend the rest of forever with you.

You make forever feel effortless, and love feel endless. Thank you for being the reason I believe in soulmates.

Happy anniversary to the queen of my heart and the light of my life.

I don’t need a perfect life, I just need every life with you in it.

Every love song suddenly makes sense when I think of you.

You are the “always” I never dared to dream of.

Our journey together may not be flawless, but loving you always is.

You’ve turned years into moments, and moments into memories I’ll always treasure.

My heart is yours today, tomorrow, and every anniversary we’ll ever share.

Thank you for being soft when life is hard, and for loving me like no one else could.

You’ve taught me the art of deep love, patient partnership, and joyful living.

I can’t imagine spending a single day without you. I’m so thankful we’ve shared another year together.

You’re the most beautiful part of every year we’ve spent together.

Happy anniversary, my love. Let’s keep writing our love story, page by page.

People often say they’re the luckiest in the world, but I truly am—because I have the best wife in the world.

With you, every chapter of life feels like the beginning of something wonderful.

Here’s to the one who still takes my breath away. Happy anniversary, my heart.

ALSO READ: 150+ Pick Up Lines for Girls That’ll Make Her Blush

Thoughtful Anniversary Wishes for Couples

Whether it’s for your friends or a couple you admire, these wedding anniversary messages are a wonderful way to celebrate their lasting love. Send your warmest wishes with heartfelt words that honour their journey together.

I’ve never seen a couple so right for each other. You two are a beautiful example of what it means to be happily married. Wishing you many more years together.

Happy anniversary to a couple who show us what true partnership looks like.

Watching your love grow through the years is truly inspiring.

Wishing you many more years of laughter, love, and shared dreams.

You two are proof that real love only gets better with time.

May your bond keep deepening and your joy never fade.

Here’s to another year of holding hands, weathering storms, and loving unconditionally.

Your marriage is a beautiful example of what commitment and care look like.

May your journey together continue to be filled with endless love and mutual respect.

Wishing you more adventures, more memories, and even more love.

Happy anniversary to a couple who bring out the best in each other. Your love story is one of my favourite things to witness.

Separately, you’re both powerful individuals, but together as a pair, you’re unstoppable! Happy anniversary to one of my favourite couples.

May your marriage continue to be filled with warmth, strength, and sweet moments.

Congratulations on building something so strong, beautiful, and lasting.

Here’s to love that grows, supports, and stands the test of time.

May you always find comfort in each other, no matter where life takes you.

Happy anniversary to a couple who remind us what love really means.

Your union is a beautiful reminder that the right person makes everything better.

Celebrating the two of you and all the love you’ve shared through the years.

May your hearts always be just as in sync as they were on day one.

Cheers to all the years behind you and the many more to come. I love your love story.

Your love is steady, intentional, and full of grace. Truly admirable.

Happy anniversary to a couple whose love feels timeless.

May you continue to build a life together that feels like home.

Wishing you another year of slow dances, inside jokes, and growing together.

Here’s to a love that continues to inspire everyone around you — happy anniversary!

ALSO READ: 150+ Perfect Birthday Wishes to Make Your Wife Feel Loved

“Happy Anniversary to Us”: Messages to Celebrate Your Love

Your love story deserves to be celebrated too. These “happy anniversary to us” messages are perfect for reflecting on your journey as a couple, appreciating the milestones you’ve reached, and looking ahead to many more years together.

A couple reading a card with wedding anniversary messages.

We’ve come a long way, and I wouldn’t trade a single second of it. Happy anniversary to us.

Here’s to our love story, still being written one beautiful chapter at a time.

Happy anniversary to us! Every day with you feels like a blessing.

We’ve laughed, cried, grown, and loved. I’d do it all over again with you.

Through all life’s highs and lows, we’ve remained each other’s constant. Happy anniversary to us.

Cheers to the memories we’ve made and the many more still to come.

I’m so proud of the love we’ve nurtured. Happy anniversary to us, my love.

We’ve built a home in each other’s hearts. Here’s to many more years of belonging.

Happy anniversary to the team we’ve become. We’re strong, loving, and perfectly imperfect.

No matter how many anniversaries we celebrate, loving you will always feel brand new.

We’ve created something rare and beautiful. Happy anniversary to us.

Just thinking of all we’ve shared makes my heart full. Happy anniversary to us.

You make ordinary days feel like magic. Here’s to another year of that magic together.

Happy anniversary to us. May we keep choosing each other, every day.

We’ve grown together in every way that matters. That’s worth celebrating.

I love how far we’ve come and how much deeper my love grows for you each year.

Happy anniversary to the one who still gives me butterflies.

We’re not perfect, but we’re perfect for each other. Happy anniversary to us.

Our love has become my safest place. Here’s to that, and to us.

Thank you for loving me as I am and growing with me. I love you.

Cheers to the friendship, the laughter, and the forever we’re building.

Happy anniversary to us. Our love is the best decision I’ve ever made.

We’ve created something strong, tender, and real. Happy anniversary to us, my heart.

Your love has guided me in ways I can’t express. Happy anniversary to the best partner ever.

They say being in love is the main part of marriage. However, I think it’s more about likability. I love being around you because I like you so much. Thanks for being my person. Happy anniversary to us, sweetheart.

ALSO READ: 150+ Romantic Good Morning Messages For The One You Love

Wedding Anniversary Messages for Parents

Celebrate the couple who started it all with these anniversary wishes for parents. Whether you’re writing a card, speech, or thoughtful text, these messages will help you express admiration that honours your parents’ love story.

Kids celebrating their parents' love with wedding anniversary messages.

Happy anniversary, Mum and Dad. Your love has been the blueprint for everything I hope to find in life.

Your marriage is a beautiful example of patience, love, and true partnership. Happy anniversary!

To the best parents and the most inspiring couple I know, happy anniversary!

Your love story continues to warm hearts, especially mine. Happy wedding anniversary, Mum and Dad.

Thank you for showing me what lifelong love looks like. Happy anniversary!

Through every season, your love has stayed strong. Wishing you many more happy years together.

Happy anniversary to the parents who taught me that love is more than just a feeling — it’s a choice.

Your marriage has been filled with grace, laughter, and unwavering commitment. I’m so proud to be your child.

Happy anniversary, Mum and Dad. You make love look easy and lasting.

Every year together is a gift, and you’ve made it look like magic. Happy anniversary!

You’ve built a life, a family, and a legacy together. Cheers to many more years of happiness.

Watching your love grow stronger each year has been the greatest lesson of my life.

Happy anniversary to the hearts that raised me. May your love keep blooming.

Your love story is my favourite one. Happy anniversary, Mum and Dad.

Your bond is one of strength and deep affection. Happy anniversary to my forever role models.

You two were made for each other. I’m living proof! Happy anniversary Mum and Dad.

Happy anniversary to the couple who still hold hands and laugh together.

Thank you for showing me how to weather life’s storms as a team. Happy anniversary.

You’ve proven that real love is built on respect, forgiveness, and joy.

Happy wedding anniversary to the people who created a home full of love.

May your love continue to be the light that guides this family.

You two are the reason I believe in love that lasts. Happy anniversary to the original lovebirds of our family.

I’m forever grateful for the foundation of love and support you’ve given us. May you spend many more years together.

You’ve been the best parents, but you’ve also been the epitome of good spouses. While I don’t know all the ins and outs, you two make marriage look worthwhile and fulfilling, and for that I’m grateful. Happy anniversary.

You’re not just amazing parents, you’re a phenomenal team. Happy anniversary, Mum and Dad.

Mum and Dad, you make it look easy. Thank you for being an incredible role model for what to expect in a healthy marriage. Happy anniversary, lovebirds.

ALSO READ: 150+ Romantic Good Night Messages For The One You Love

Anniversary Messages for Friends

Watching your friends grow together in love is something worth celebrating. These wedding anniversary messages for friends are heartfelt, cheerful, and perfect for marking their special day with genuine joy.

Friends toasting after sharing wedding anniversary messages

Happy anniversary to one of the most amazing couples I know! Your love is such an inspiration.

Watching your relationship grow has been a joy. Cheers to another year of love and laughter!

You two are the perfect team. Happy wedding anniversary, my dear friends!

Happy anniversary to my favourite couple! Your love story keeps getting better with time.

To my best friend and their person, you both deserve all the happiness in the world.

Congrats on another year of choosing each other. Wishing you many more years of joy and adventure!

Happy anniversary, bestie! I hope you both keep laughing, loving, and annoying each other forever.

Another year of love, another year of friendship, and another reason to celebrate!

You make marriage look so easy and fun. Happy anniversary, my friends!

Love like yours is rare, and I’m lucky to witness it. Cheers to more beautiful years together.

I’ve known you through every stage, and seeing you in love is one of my favourite versions of you.

Happy anniversary to my ride-or-die and their partner-in-crime. You both are truly made for each other.

Here’s to lasting love and loud laughter — happy anniversary, friends!

Your love has stood the test of time, and it’s still going strong. That’s worth celebrating every year.

Bestie, your relationship is the real definition of goals. Happy anniversary to you and your person!

Happy wedding anniversary to a couple I admire so much. May your love always feel brand new.

Your love is solid, sweet, and something worth celebrating every single year. May you have many more years together.

You do a remarkable job of making marriage look easy. You should teach a class! Happy anniversary to a special couple.

Through thick and thin, you have stood by each other’s side. Your love is what everybody dreams of having. Happy anniversary!

Your love story is one of my favourites. Keep writing amazing chapters together!

From your first date to forever, your journey has been beautiful to watch.

To my favourite lovebirds: Keep making memories, and keep choosing each other every day.

May your love continue to be filled with fun, trust, and the best kind of chaos.

You’re the kind of couple that gives hope to the rest of us. Happy anniversary!

Watching you two grow together has been the sweetest thing. Here’s to forever.

Happy anniversary to my best friend and their forever plus one. Wishing you more love and more cake!

ALSO READ: 200+ Romantic Good Evening Messages For The One You Love

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Dunni* (23) left her husband, Lanre* (33), and their baby after repeated efforts to complete her education were met with his indifference and nonchalance. In this story, she shares how she reclaimed her freedom and rebuilt her life by choosing to escape squalor, pursue her education despite pressure and stand firm despite pressure from her in-laws and extended family.

This is Dunni’s story as told to Betty:

I met Lanre back in 2021, when I was 19 and he was 29. I was working as a server at a hotel to make extra money to supplement my student allowance. His friend approached me on his behalf and after I spoke to him, we hit it off.

A few months later, we started dating and our relationship was wonderful. We had a lot of similar interests. We were both muslims, loved to party, get high and go drinking together. For the three years we dated, we had very few issues except the occasional fight about minor things, like me being late to a date.

In early 2023, I found out I was pregnant. I was shocked because I had just started my final year at a Polytechnic. I wanted to have an abortion, but Lanre insisted I keep it. He wanted us to get married and raise the baby.

I was hesitant at first. Marriage wasn’t something I’d thought deeply about or actively wanted. But the more I considered it, the more I felt that since Lanre and I had such a good relationship, married life would be easy for me to adjust to.

I could not have been more wrong.

We told my parents, and while there was the initial drama, they eventually came to accept the reality. They had met Lanre a few times over the course of our relationship, so it didn’t take too much convincing.

Even with all this, it was important to me that I finish school. I tried to complete my final year before I had the baby, but balancing pregnancy and school was very hard. I finished my first semester, came home in December to do the introduction and traditional rites and had my baby less than a week after.

I love my child to pieces, but his birth meant that I couldn’t go back to school for the final semester. Lanre promised that when my body fully recovered, he would send me back to school to finish my degree. However, finishing school became the least of my problems because as soon as we moved in together, into his tiny apartment, Lanre changed.

For one, he didn’t have a stable job. He got gigs sporadically, which meant we only had money from time to time. I suffered a lot while I lived with him. I started doing odd jobs like hawking seasoning cubes and other condiments just to be able to afford baby food. No matter how much I complained, Lanre didn’t seem bothered at all.

Then he forbade me from wearing any of the clothes I used to wear while we were dating. It was as if he suddenly remembered he was Muslim only after we got married. I had to veil my hair most of the time, or it would cause issues. If we had an argument over it, he would immediately call my parents to report me. This upset me a lot because, aside from the fact that I love dressing well, Lanre knew my parents were traditional and would only ever take his side. The most painful part was that, because of their conservative beliefs, they would make me apologise even though Lanre was at fault.

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I also found out that Lanre was a mummy’s boy. His mum and grandmother had an overbearing influence on our marriage. They also never took my side with anything, even if Lanre was obviously wrong. He was their perfect boy. I tried to speak to my mum about this, but she encouraged me to try to get on my in-laws’ good side.

One day, late last year, an old friend of mine reached out to me. He initially tried to date me, but I was already dating Lanre, so we stayed friends. Then we lost touch after I got married. He asked how I was doing, and I came clean about getting pregnant and dropping out of school. He felt very moved by my plight and asked if I was interested in finishing my degree. I immediately jumped at the opportunity. I told him it would cost about ₦200k for my final year. He agreed to send me half of the money so Lanre could source the second half.

Knowing Lanre was unemployed, I begged him to make it ₦150k, so I could figure out the rest. He sent me the money with no strings attached. He really just wanted to help. I was excited about going back to school, so I immediately went to Lanre and told him the good news. Lanre was not happy for me. He started accusing me of cheating on him and demanded that I return the money. I refused, and this became a big issue in our marriage. They planned a family meeting a few months in advance to discuss the matter and to demand that I return the money. But I already swore to Lanre that I wasn’t going to do that.

I was tired of living hand to mouth in a terrible apartment, barely able to feed my baby with a man who didn’t want to pull his weight. At least with a degree, I would be able to get a job and start trying to build a career with a stable income. Lanre tried to use our son to manipulate me by taking him to his mother’s house. Two months before the family meeting held, I packed all my things, leaving only the clothes I wore for the introduction and the wedding ring, and resumed at school.

This came as a shock to everyone. Lanre started spreading rumours that I was cheating on him, and my fees were paid by my lover. I had previously kept my husband’s nonchalant behaviour a secret from my mum, but after I moved to school, I told her everything. She is now firmly on my side and keeps encouraging me through school.

My dad, however, refused to see things from my point of view. He claimed that a wife’s place is with her husband, and I should apologise to Lanre. When Lanre told him I packed my things, he told Lanre not to worry, that there was no room for me in his house. So I cut him off and stopped visiting home.

I made sure to take my son from Lanre after a few months in school because the boy had come down with malaria, and Lanre wasn’t doing anything to treat him. He stays with my mum now, who cares for him, so I can focus on finishing school. I visit often to spend time with him.

I love the freedom I have now. I just wrapped up my first semester in school, I’m working on my final year project, and I’m excited for what the future holds. I was worried when I went back at first because I didn’t know how to sort out my upkeep, but my friend who gave me the fees has been sending me money for food every week since. I feel like I can finally visualise a future I can work towards, and I will never go back to Lanre’s house. I’m free.

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For Zainab* (27), rushing into a new relationship after her first love fell apart felt like a bold, grown-up move. But what was meant to be her happily-ever-after quickly spiralled into a nightmare. In this story, she shares how a rebound marriage led her into the most painful chapter of her life, and how she found her way out.

This is Zainab’s Story, as told to Mofiyinfoluwa

No one tells you how moving on from an ex the wrong way ends up hurting you more than the person you’re trying to get over. I married the wrong man to prove a point, and it nearly cost me everything.

I met my ex-boyfriend, Hamza, in secondary school. We lived in the same area but didn’t talk until we became classmates. He became my childhood crush and, eventually, my closest friend. We didn’t start dating until I got into university in 2019. Distance was our biggest hurdle from the start — I was schooling in the north, and he was in the west. It strained our connection. We argued often, broke up and got back together repeatedly. It was an unhealthy cycle.

Even though we’d break up, his mum always sided with me. She genuinely liked me and would call me to fix things with her son. In 2021, after yet another breakup, I ran into his mum at an event. She urged me to call him. I did, and he said he needed space. Three months later, when my grandmother passed away, I called Hamza first. He travelled down and stood by me at the funeral. Still, I could tell from how he looked at me that whatever we shared was truly over. We never spoke again after the funeral. I didn’t reach out either, because I had met someone else.

Mubarak* looked like everything I thought I wanted. I won’t lie — I was drawn mainly by his appearance. He was a light-skinned, smooth talker who was very intentional about marriage. I thought I had stepped up from Hamza. Looking back, that was the beginning of my mistake. Mubarak wasn’t intelligent or even emotionally available. But he was ready to settle down, and I also wanted that. We dated for a year and got married in 2022. I had just turned 24, and he was 29. Unlike our courtship, marriage was hell from the beginning.

We moved closer to where Mubarak’s family lived, and that’s when it became clear that his mother didn’t like me. I’d always suspected she didn’t like me — she had refused to speak to me on the phone when we started dating, and once fought with her son just because he travelled to visit me. But each time, Mubarak downplayed it, insisting she’d come around. Living nearby removed all the blinders. I saw how she ran the family with an iron grip, and because she didn’t approve of me, the entire family kept their distance. He was a textbook mama’s boy. If we agreed on something and she disagreed, we had to change it. She said we were too young to be left alone, so we lived close by, where she could monitor us. Since Mubarak wasn’t financially stable, his mother used her support as leverage. I became the wife who collected beans and groundnut oil from her in-laws to cook. I wasn’t raised that way, but I told myself I was enduring temporary suffering for a brighter future. I didn’t know I was slowly losing myself.

Emotionally, he tore me apart. He constantly reminded me that it was against religion for me to be more successful than him. I studied Pharmacy, but he wanted me to teach at a primary school. When I started learning fashion design, he refused to give me money and found ways to delay my classes. He also compared me to his exes and told me in detail how much better they were sexually, even though I was a virgin when we married. Every time I complained to his family, they reminded me I was lucky to have married such a “fine boy.” That was their only selling point.

We fought almost every day. We could argue because I hadn’t greeted his parents in two days. I couldn’t say I was tired. I had to constantly perform as the “good wife,” even when I was exhausted. Through it all, Mubarak still found time to cheat. I knew I had to leave when he became open about a woman abroad and dropped hints of a second wife. I filed for divorce in early 2024. Our marriage barely lasted two years.

The divorce was messy. Mubarak told everyone I cheated, disrespected him and was impossible to live with. His parents didn’t even try to help. My parents begged them to intercede, but they refused. He married another wife before our divorce was final. I later realised she was his ticket out of Nigeria.

The whole experience shattered me. I cried every day and hated myself. But through it all, my family never left my side. They supported me financially and emotionally. I eventually relocated to Lagos to start again.

Months after I relocated, I ran into Hamza again at the mosque, of all places. We laughed about old times, and he offered his condolences about my failed marriage. He had somehow heard everything because our families maintained close ties.. He joked about getting back together since we were both single, but I brushed it off. After all, this was the same guy who ghosted me.

But he didn’t stop at jokes. His mother began to call me again, and so did his siblings. His family begged me to give him another chance, and I realised what I didn’t have in my first marriage: a family that actually wanted me there. His mother reminded me of how she always believed I was meant to be her daughter-in-law. Eventually, I caved in.

We started dating only after I told my parents, and they gave their blessings. Hamza and I got married two months ago.

This time, marriage feels safe. We speak the same love language. He understands me without over-explaining. We resolve our issues respectfully. I know people might say, “Two months is too short to know if a marriage will work.” But the truth is, a month into my previous one, I knew it was doomed. The signs were even there at the wedding, but because I was so desperate to move on from my last relationship, I jumped in.

Sometimes, I miss what could’ve been with my ex-husband. He had a gentle side, but let his mother’s opinions control our marriage. Still, I don’t regret leaving that marriage. It taught me that love isn’t enough. Support and respect matter too. This time, I’ve chosen someone who chooses me back, wholly and without question. And that has made all the difference.

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If you want to share your own story, I’d love to hear it here.

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Most people expect that married couples share everything: bodies, homes, responsibilities, and essentially, their entire lives. However, this shared intimacy doesn’t always extend to their finances.

In Nigeria, stories of one partner not being open with their finances for several reasons aren’t strange. We spoke to six married Nigerians who keep money secrets from their spouses. Their different reasons tie into a common rationale: keeping quiet gives you freedom of choice.

**“I couldn’t tell my wife I lost ₦10m, so I sold our car and lied about it” — Austin*, 39**

In 2023, I borrowed ₦10m from a banker friend to settle agent fees and proof of funds to japa to Canada. I planned to repay this friend after I relocated and found work abroad. Unfortunately, the travel agent turned out to be a scammer. Both the ₦10m and the visa disappeared.

Fortunately, my friend was understanding and allowed me to pay in instalments, but there was a bigger problem: My wife had no idea I even started the japa process, so I couldn’t tell her I lost money.

I didn’t mean to hide it from her. I’d been trying to leave Nigeria since 2019 but encountered roadblocks, from the US denying my visa thrice to spending money and time trying to get MBA scholarships. At a point, my wife banned me from trying to relocate again.

She said it was clear that my destiny was tied to Nigeria. But I didn’t accept this; instead, I hid my plans from her. I thought I’d surprise her when the visa came. I was the one who ended up getting surprised.

At first, I paid my friend ₦200k monthly to settle the debt, but my salary was only ₦450k, and my wife started getting suspicious at the rate at which I was getting broke. I knew I had to do something drastic when she started snooping through my phone to check if I was cheating. So, I sold my car for ₦4.9m and lied to her that it got stolen. It didn’t completely offset my debt, but my friend told me to forget about the balance.

Sometimes, I get the odd feeling that my wife actually knows what I did and hasn’t brought it up to keep the peace. I might also be overthinking it because of my guilty conscience. Unless she confronts me about it, I don’t intend to ever tell her.

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**“I have a secret emergency fund stash in case of eventualities” — Ezinne*, 29**

My husband and I have a joint account where we save for our house project, but I have another savings account for my emergency fund stash, which I keep from him.

I don’t hide it for negative reasons. I’m not hurting anybody; it’s just for eventualities. I’ve heard many stories of women getting stranded because their men died untimely or started carrying other women. I don’t think my husband can cheat, but I know women outside these days also use juju to catch men. It’s better to stay prepared.

I’ve been growing my emergency funds since we married, and I currently have ₦6.5m in it. I have a business, so I regularly deposit a percentage of my profits in my stash before I send it to our joint account.

**“My wife has never known my actual salary” — Lanre*, 33**

Since we got married in 2023, I’ve made sure to give my wife a slightly reduced version of my income. I currently earn ₦600k/month, but my wife thinks I earn ₦400k. I do it to save myself from unnecessary billing.

My wife is ready to help you spend every last kobo once she knows you have money. That’s her only flaw, and I’ve learnt to manage it. Hiding my actual salary helps me save the extra for rent and emergencies.

Sometimes I wonder if she actually sits down to think about how I manage to meet most of our bills. But she’s just carefree like that. It’s funny because she should know I finish my “supposed” salary almost every month. How, then, do I manage to pay rent when the time comes? Maybe she thinks I perform magic.

**“I keep my gambling problem a secret” — Rotimi*, 41**

I‘m not a gambling addict, but I have a small problem staying away from sports betting platforms. I know how harmful gambling can be, so to help myself, I only gamble on the weekends.

My wife knows I like sports betting, but doesn’t know I do it every week. She would never approve. It’s easier to keep my habit a secret because she won’t understand how careful I am with my bets. I spend ₦10k weekly on the bets and try not to go over that. I just see it as a hobby that sometimes pays me. I don’t always win, but when I do, it’s like extra cash.

The last time I won a bet was two months ago when I made ₦31k from ₦2k. I still used the money to buy something for my wife.

**“My husband doesn’t know I pay my brother’s school fees” — Joy*, 31**

My husband doesn’t get along with my two younger siblings. He thinks they’re entitled and disrespectful, and while I agree with him, he takes his disapproval to the extreme. It has gotten to the point where my husband doesn’t even like seeing my siblings in my house. I’m constantly trying to manage his emotions whenever they come around.

So, it’s a no-brainer to hide the fact that I pay my brother’s school fees. My parents are late, and my husband thinks my brother puts himself through school. He knows I help with pocket money, but doesn’t know I pay the fees too. If he knew, he’d just add “lazy” to my brother’s list of crimes, and that’s another headache I’d rather not deal with.

**“I’m constantly shopping online, but my husband doesn’t know” — Favour*, 31**

My husband and I live in different countries, so it’s easy to hide how much of my money goes into shopping. I’m a sucker for beautiful things, and my cart is always full. I receive a $200 monthly allowance from my husband, and I spend it all on shoes, bags and clothes.

He often wonders when I complain about needing money by the middle of the month, but he blames inflation and the high cost of most things. I know he won’t mind that I buy things for myself, but he’d surely complain about the frequency of these purchases, so I just keep them to myself.

I know my secret will still cut when we finally sort out my visa and I relocate to join him. For now, I’m enjoying the freedom.

*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

NEXT READ: I Made My First Big Paycheck at Uni. I Spent It All on Women and Got Into Debt

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Trigger Warning: This article contains sensitive topics, including physical assault and sexual abuse, which some readers may find distressing. Reader discretion is advised.

For many Nigerian children, their parents’ divorce didn’t just happen to their mum or dad; it happened to them too. It was a turning point for how they saw love, home, and themselves.

In this story, we spoke to Nigerians who watched their parents’ marriage fall apart at different stages of life. They share how it shaped their lives and what they’ve learned about healing.

“I didn’t know about the divorce until I turned 18” — Mel*, 30

Growing up, I never suspected that the woman I called ‘mum’ wasn’t my biological mother. She treated me with care, raised me alongside her own children, and made sure I never felt left out. Everything changed when I turned 18.

My father sat me down and told me his wife was actually my stepmother. He explained that he’d divorced my birth mother when I was around three, claiming she had dabbled in diabolical things he didn’t want around me. I was devastated. I couldn’t understand why nobody had told me sooner — or why my real mother had never tried to see me. That revelation threw me into depression. I kept wondering why she abandoned me.

I saw my biological mother for the first time at 23. She came unannounced to my convocation. Seeing her on that day overwhelmed me, so I refused to speak to her. But after some weeks and pressure from relatives, I agreed to meet her. She told a completely different story.

According to her, she didn’t abandon me — she said my father hid me and blocked every attempt she made to reach me. She blamed my stepmother, too. This caused another emotional mess. I didn’t know who to believe. I still don’t, but I’ve made peace with not knowing the full truth.

These days, I’ve built a cordial relationship with my biological mum. But my stepmother will always be a mother to me. She was there during my formative years, and I had a happy, normal childhood. That’s what matters most to me.

“I didn’t see it coming after 31 years of marriage” — Blessing*, 22

It happened four months ago, but I still haven’t fully processed it. My mum called a family meeting and calmly announced she was leaving my dad, after 31 years of marriage.

I laughed.

I genuinely thought it was a joke. But she was serious.

She said she’d made up her mind over a decade ago but waited until her four children were grown. She didn’t want us to grow up in a broken home. I’m the last born, and I’d just graduated from university, so in her mind, her job was done.

I always knew my parents had issues, but I didn’t realise how deep they ran. I didn’t know that my father had started a whole family outside of our home. My mum had known for years but kept it quiet.

What pushed her over the edge was my dad falling ill with liver complications. She told us she refused to spend the rest of her life nursing a man who had built a new family elsewhere. She said, ‘Let him go to them.’

My dad was stunned. He nearly collapsed from shock, but nothing he or his sisters said changed her mind. Now she’s moved out and is processing the divorce. She’s also planning to relocate abroad to live with my eldest sister.

My dad, on the other hand, has finally admitted the truth about his other family and says he wants to introduce me to them. I don’t even know how to feel about that.

I’m the only one still living at home, so I’ve been caring for him since my mum left. It’s been strange, sitting with the man I’ve known all my life, and realising there’s a whole other side of him none of us knew. Some days, I feel angry on my mum’s behalf. Other days, I just feel numb. I never imagined our family would come apart this way, but I admire her courage deep down.

“I found the love letters that ended their marriage” — Uthman*, 28

I spent a long time thinking my parents’ divorce was my fault. It happened during a long vacation in the mid-2000s. I was nine, and my cousin and I were playing in my mum’s car when we stumbled upon a bunch of handwritten love letters hidden in the glove compartment. We read them and took them to my dad, thinking we were doing something right. Everything changed after that.

I remember them having a huge fight. A physical one where they were screaming at each other and throwing things. Even though I didn’t understand it fully, I knew their marriage would never recover.

Earlier that year, a teacher had already reported me for kissing a classmate at school. So when the divorce went to court, my dad brought it up, claiming my mum’s infidelity had corrupted me. That wasn’t true. All I’d ever seen were the letters. But still, he won custody.

My mum moved to a flat nearby, so I still got to see her, but things were never the same. Two years later, when my dad started seeing someone new, I felt like I was carrying the weight of the family’s collapse alone. His new marriage felt like a betrayal, and I acted out in every way possible. I punctured his car tires. I poured salt in food his new wife cooked. I tore up their wedding photos. Eventually, he sent me off to boarding school.

I couldn’t bring myself to accept my stepmother. I saw her as a symbol of everything that went wrong, even though she wasn’t the problem. It took growing up and therapy to realise I was a child, and nothing that happened was ever my fault.

I don’t think I caused the divorce anymore, but it took a long time for me to get over it.

“I knew he was evil, but longed for the normalcy other families had” — Dunsin*, 25

My mum’s decision to leave my father was the best thing she did for my sister and me. Even now, more than 15 years later, it’s still incredibly difficult for me to talk about the sexual abuse we endured at his hands.

I was only around nine years old when he started. My father would sneak into my room, hold my penis, and tell me to put his in my mouth. It was deeply messed up, and even then, I knew it was wrong. But I didn’t grasp the magnitude.

He told me he was ‘teaching me what to do with girls’ when the time came, and I just went along with it. This happened for a while, and I never told my mother.

She found out when she discovered blood in my six-year-old sister’s panties. My sister told my mum what our dad had done. Then, I finally confessed what he’d been doing to me.

One night, my mother simply packed us up and we ran. We stayed with her parents while they went through the divorce. Despite knowing my father was evil, my teenage years were often filled with a longing for the normalcy other families seemingly had. We struggled so much financially, while my father, a wealthy businessman, continued his life untouched.

As a boy, I never really spoke about the molestation. There were so many unresolved feelings because no one ever brought it up. I think my mother just wanted the whole thing to fade away. I have no relationship with my father now and haven’t seen him in the last ten years. I truly believe it’s best this way.

“Our relatives would pressure me to get them to reconcile” — Imade*, 28

My parents’ divorce process began one Christmas holiday. My mum took us to our grandparents’ place and told us we wouldn’t return to Abuja. That was when she left my dad.

I was in secondary school, and what I understood was that their fights over money had escalated to the point where my dad became physically abusive. I remember being caught in the middle of one of their fights and getting beaten up. Still, I was angry with her for leaving. I didn’t want to change schools or move to a remote town in Osun. I hated that my life had to change because they couldn’t make their marriage work.

For a long time, I resented my mum and wished she had just endured for our sake. I was angry at my dad, too. Being the firstborn meant I became the third parent. They put me in the middle, accusing me of siding with the other. When my siblings later moved to live with my dad, I had to step in as though I were their mum.

Looking back, I understand now. They were never compatible, and their separation was for the best. But I carried the pressure of trying to fix things for years. Relatives suggested that I try to get them to reconcile, and I almost believed it was my job.

Their divorce has made me cautious about love. I overthink things and rarely live in the moment. I’m scared of history repeating itself. Still, I’ve healed. My mum is remarried. My dad, though still alone, is calmer. And while the resentment is gone, I sometimes worry about him more than anything else — the older he gets, the lonelier he is.

If you want to share your own story, I’d love to hear it here.

“My father was rich, but refused to pay my school fees” — Kennedy*, 63

I was seven when my parents separated. Back then, it wasn’t even called divorce — my mother simply left. That was how it was in the 1960s. When a man pushed too far, women just left the house

He had multiple affairs and eventually brought another woman into the house, which was the final straw for my mum. She moved out and remarried, but that marriage also ended in heartbreak after their child passed away.

Even as a child, I knew my father was selfish. He was a wealthy bank manager, but he didn’t care about any of his children. After the separation, I had to live with his own father, and it was that man who paid my school fees and raised me with love. My father didn’t contribute a penny.

Strangely enough, his absence didn’t break me. I was lucky to be surrounded by love from my grandparents. So even though I didn’t grow up with a present father, I didn’t feel lacking in the way most people might expect. He eventually apologised and came back into my life,t days before he died. That was all. It didn’t change the past, but I took it as closure.

“I’ve learned not to let their story define mine” — Yinka, 27

“My parents divorced while my mum was pregnant with me, so I’ve never known them as a couple. Nobody ever told me what caused the divorce. It’s just the way things have always been. And we’ve never talked about it.

When I was a child, they fought over custody of my sister, who was ten years older than I was. There was a boy between us, but he passed away. The court eventually ruled that my sister should stay with my dad, and I should live with my mum.

But when I turned four, my mum returned me to my dad, and from then on, I only visited her during the holidays. Growing up, I always felt a strange kind of loneliness — like I didn’t belong fully in either parent’s world. I didn’t have a deep connection with either of them; we just existed around each other. I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that this is my reality.

These days, I keep things cordial. I call, visit occasionally, and respond when they reach out. Nothing more. I’ve learned to stop expecting more than they can give and not to let their story define mine.

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When Fisayo*(25) met Dotun*(30), he was a laid-back older friend who liked getting high and hanging out. Their friendship quickly evolved into something deeper — first casual sex, and then marriage.

But a year into their marriage, everything began to unravel. Fisayo found herself pregnant, alone, and afraid, facing a difficult choice. So she did the only thing she could think of: she packed a bag, disappeared, and walked away from the life she thought she was building.

What happened next is a story she’s never shared until now.

**This is *Fisayo’s story As Told To Betty:**

I met Dotun* in August 2018. There was nothing romantic between us at first — we were just good friends. We had a lot in common and enjoyed the same activities, so we spent a lot of time together. I was 18 and had just started university, while he was 23 and had already finished his undergraduate studies.

Whenever he came around the school area, he’d take me out for drinks, and we’d get high together. By December, after a few months of friendship, we started having casual sex. It was great, and our friendship didn’t suffer for it.

In February 2019, after one of our usual hookups, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I wasn’t sure about the depth of my feelings, but I said yes. We were good friends, and he clearly cared about me, so I figured things would work out.

I felt the same way when he asked me to marry him later that year, so I said yes again. My family had no major objections. From the outside, we were a couple that made sense. My mum did try to dissuade me from getting married that early, but she ultimately supported my choice. Dotun and I got married in January 2020.

Now, I need to mention that although Dotun and I made it to the altar, it wasn’t exactly smooth sailing. He had cheated on me during the course of our relationship, and after I had forgiven him the first few times, I decided to cheat back. We buried those issues and forgave each other, promising to use our marriage as a clean slate. It didn’t go the way I thought it would.

Marriage was an entirely different ballgame, especially when it came to my relationship with Dotun’s family. For starters, his mother didn’t like me. She was a very traditional woman who didn’t understand my lifestyle.

Whenever she visited, she’d see us drinking together or clock that we were high, and she’d get upset. In her eyes, even if Dotun was involved in those things, I was supposed to hold myself to a higher standard “as a wife” and pull him off that path.

She also couldn’t stand that I was irreligious. I hated joining them for morning devotion, especially since they always held it at an unreasonably early hour. That was one of the first major points of friction in our marriage.

I also had issues with his brothers. They didn’t respect our space — eating up all our food, staying longer than any visitor should and having friends over without clearing it with me or Dotun first. When I tried to bring it up, Dotun took it as me not being welcoming of his family.

Another thing that caused friction between us was the issue of pregnancy. A few months into our marriage, Dotun wanted me to take out my IUD. I was reluctant because I didn’t think I was mentally ready for a baby, but I did it anyway. Soon, I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t like where we stood in our relationship, so I kept it a secret and got rid of it. Not long after, I got pregnant again. I was alarmed, but after telling Dotun this time, he persuaded me to keep the baby. Subsequent scans showed that I was having twins, which delighted me.

Unfortunately, my relationship with Dotun only worsened. We started fighting a lot more than usual. I found out he was cheating again, which upset me. His casual betrayal despite me carrying his twins gutted me, and I considered another abortion as a way out of the marriage. But my closest cousin, Susan*, encouraged me. Her excitement about the babies motivated me to keep going. I thought that once I had the twins, everything would settle down, but my arguments with Dotun kept escalating.

When I was 28 weeks pregnant, Dotun and I had a huge fight. It was over something silly, like who was going to take the car, but Dotun said something that chilled me to the bone. He said he was going to take my babies from me as punishment after I gave birth, and there was nothing I’d be able to do about it. Then he took the car and left me home alone.

I decided right then and there that I wouldn’t let him get his hands on my children. It was obvious to me that he wanted to trap me in the marriage with the children and make all of us suffer. I called my aunt, who worked in healthcare, and asked for her help with a late-stage abortion. She refused, saying she didn’t want anything to do with it. I wanted to try to dilate myself, but I was afraid of something going wrong.

About three weeks later, Dotun and I had another stupid fight about the house chores. I had helped him iron his clothes, but he wasn’t satisfied with the way I did it. He threatened to take the babies again. I got frustrated with his yelling, and when he eventually stormed out, I decided that I was actually going to do something about it.

I packed a few clothes and left the house. I knew I couldn’t confide in my mum because we weren’t close, so I called my best friend instead. I told her I was afraid Dotun would follow through on his threats and take the babies away from me. It wasn’t something I was going to accept. I also knew that I wouldn’t have the strength or financial support to raise both of them on my own, but I knew I had to leave Dotun’s house.

My best friend took out a ₦300,000 loan and gave me the money. I immediately took a bus to Nassarawa. By the time I got there, I had several missed calls on my phone from my mum and Dotun. I broke my SIM, threw my phone away and continued my travels. I had no plans or a place to stay in Nassarawa, so once I arrived, I just wandered around a busy market. I eventually got to a predominantly Igbo section where people spoke English. There, a kind Igbo lady, much older than I was, took me to a health centre nearby. When I got there, I saw there was a Catholic orphanage mission close to it.

I went there and tried to inquire about giving up the babies to the orphanage. I told them that the father was irresponsible and wasn’t in the picture, but the matron was adamant that I could raise them. They kept telling me they would put me in a skill acquisition program and empower me so I could have enough money to care for the babies. I didn’t budge. Eventually, they agreed, and after 37 weeks and five days of pregnancy, I gave birth to a beautiful pair of twin boys.

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After seeing my children, I became even more certain that I couldn’t let Dotun take them or raise them in the toxic environment we had created. There are no words to describe the world-changing pain of giving up those beautiful boys to the Catholic mission. I live with that ache every single day.

After I surrendered the twins, I made my way back to Lagos. I went to my parents’ house and told them I had been kidnapped, and that the kidnappers had taken the babies. It was a very chaotic time because I had been reported missing, and authorities had gotten involved. I don’t know if anyone really believed my story, but I stood firm and stuck to it. Dotun tried to get us back together, but thankfully, my parents didn’t make me go back to him. Our split eventually became permanent.

Now, neither of us has any kids from the marriage. I’ve tried to put it behind me and move on. I have a business that keeps me busy, and I’m making sure I choose myself each and every day. My heart only aches for my boys, but I think I made the best decision for all of us. I want to remarry in the future when I feel like I’m all grown up, but I’m not sure if I want kids or if they fit into that future.

Trigger Warning: This article contains sensitive topics, including physical assault and abuse, which some readers may find distressing. Reader discretion is advised.

Obiora*, 52, left Nigeria with nothing but a dream. After years of hustling and finally building a stable life in the U.S., a long, bitter power struggle in his marriage forced him to start over in Nigeria.

He shares the breakdown of their relationship and why he has no regrets about choosing his freedom.

This is Obiora’s story as told to Mofiyinfoluwa

I was born in a small village in Anambra. My mother died when I was a child, and I watched my father, a struggling farmer, raise me and my siblings with barely enough to survive. I decided early that I would do everything in my power to escape that life.

I believed it would be easier to make it outside Nigeria — it didn’t matter where. After I finished secondary school in 1993, my father helped me raise money to travel to Gabon. I was 20 years old and got into a federal university to study electrical engineering. To support myself, I worked part-time as the youngest taxi driver in our Nigerian community. But in a few months, I started hearing stories about people leaving for America. The way they spoke about it, America was the land of true opportunity.

By 1995, I’d saved enough money from driving taxis to buy a plane ticket to Chicago. I didn’t tell my father; I just left on my student passport.

Looking back, it was a wild thing to do — I had no plan or contacts. But God was watching over me. At the last stop on the train from the airport, I ran into a fellow Igbo man who had been my neighbour back in Gabon. It was sheer luck.

He took me to his older brother, an army officer, who let me stay with him. He also helped me get into the army school while I worked in a bar at night. After finishing my course in electrical engineering, I joined the army full-time. It wasn’t glamorous, but it gave me the stability I’d always dreamed of. It covered all my bills, and I could finally afford to send money home without worrying about where my next rent would come from. Thinking about the times in the village when I’d eat nothing but garri for days, it felt like I had arrived.

My homecoming in 2000 was bittersweet. Nearly a decade after leaving home, I returned to bury my father.

That’s when I met Chioma. We were both at a phone call centre in the village, and talked while waiting to use the phone. She was very attractive and had a humble background like me. We connected instantly and stayed in touch. Within a year, we were engaged.

I came back to Nigeria in 2003 to marry her, and she moved with me to the U.S. Life was sweet initially. We had our first son within three years, followed by twin girls. I retired early from the army and used my savings to open an African grocery and cosmetics store. I also started exporting second-hand machinery and spare parts to Nigeria. My only request was that Chioma help manage the store so I could focus on expanding the export business.

But she didn’t want to work. For years, she refused to be involved in the business. When she finally did, I noticed money was going missing. She sent large amounts to her family and shopped recklessly. Chioma never wanted to be accountable, and I began to realise that America had opened her eyes. The naïve village woman I married had become someone else.

Suddenly, she wanted to rule the house. Even though we had agreed to raise our kids Catholic, like me, she later insisted on a Pentecostal church. Then she made major decisions about the children’s schools and our finances without my input. I expected her to appreciate the life I had given her, but she constantly nagged. Every time I challenged her, she threatened to call the police.

Then she started staying out late. When I asked questions, she’d tell me it was none of my business. I suspected infidelity but had no proof, so I hired someone to monitor her movements. When she found out, she flipped it. Whenever I left the house for business, she’d accuse me of going to meet other women.

I mostly ignored her until she completely crossed a line in 2011. I was meeting with two women from California at a restaurant. They owned an African bar and wanted to partner with me. In the middle of the meeting, Chioma stormed in, poured the wine on me, flipped the table, and left with my car keys. The women were humiliated and immediately ended the deal. I walked home that night feeling a rage I can’t even explain. When I got home, I lost control and beat her up.

She went to the police, and I was arrested. Even though our elders had earlier ruled in my favour after the incident, American law didn’t care. My friends helped bail me out, but the experience shook me deeply. That was when I decided: it was better to suffer in Nigeria than let Chioma destroy me in America.

If you want to share your own story, I’d love to hear it here.

Slowly, I liquidated my businesses, and in 2015, I told Chioma we were going home for a family holiday. What she didn’t know was that we weren’t coming back. I used the funds to open a car parts business in Abuja and settled the family there.

Back in Nigeria, I took back control. I cut down her monthly allowance and excluded her from the business entirely. I knew it made her restless, but I didn’t expect the drama that unfolded.

One day, in 2017, I received a call from the National Agency for the Prohibition of Trafficking in Persons (NAPTIP). Chioma had reported me for starving her and the children. I was shocked. But when the agents came to inspect the house, they found the house well-stocked and spoke to the children, who, after much questioning, told them Chioma had asked them to lie. The case was subsequently dropped.

I found out from her friends that she had been spreading false stories in the estate. She’d been trying to ruin my reputation and set me up as an abuser so she could gain sympathy and get social welfare to take everything from me. It made me furious.

We had a heated confrontation that night, and when she insulted me in front of the children, I used my hands on her. She ran out half-dressed and spent the night with a neighbour. When I returned from work the next day, she had packed her things and left with the kids.

A few months later, she tried to return, but I was done. I told her I was filing for divorce. That’s when she threatened to cut me off from our kids. Knowing she planned to use them to manipulate me, I didn’t fight it,

I cut off all contact for three years and watched from a distance. Eventually, she drained her savings and began relying on wealthy men just to feed herself and the children. That’s when I filed for child neglect and began fighting for custody.

It’s been over six years since we separated. The legal divorce is still dragging on, but I’ve moved on. I support my children directly now and give them whatever they need. Chioma has tried to mend things, but I won’t fall for it. Now, I clearly see that she never truly loved me. She only loved what I could give her.

It’s been a bitter lesson, but one I’ll never forget. No one will ever hold that kind of power over me again.

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After years of living a life that others chose for her, Durotimi* (43) thought she had finally found the fresh start she’d been waiting for. But her late marriage didn’t bring the stability or peace she expected — and soon, she found herself carrying more than her share of the weight.

In this story, Durotimi reflects on the quiet sacrifices, the hidden dreams, and the bold decision that might finally change everything.

This is Durotimi’s story as told to Betty:

I grew up in a small village in Ondo State. After I completed secondary school, my father didn’t think it was important or prudent to send me to university. Instead, he put my younger siblings and me to work on his farms and encouraged me to get married.

I was only 17 at the time, but settling down early was common in my village. So I stayed in my father’s house, waiting for my husband to come and claim me. But decades passed, and no one came. By the time I turned 37, my single status had become an inescapable topic of conversation at morning devotions. Every Sunday at church, at least one older woman would squeeze my hand and whisper, “Your own will soon come.”

It was even worse at weddings. Every time a younger sibling or cousin got married, there would always be a guest loudly wondering why I still hadn’t — as if it were under my control. It was humiliating. I would often cry to my mum and aunts, seeking comfort, but after all those years, even their patience was wearing thin.

So in 2020, an aunt in Ibadan invited me to stay with her for a few days so I could get away from the farm and have a change of environment. While I was visiting, the lockdown happened and I decided to stay with her for a few months.

During one of my walks around her neighbourhood, I met a widowed pastor named Tade*. He stopped me to say he had seen a vision of a glorious future for me, and that I shouldn’t give up. I needed that encouragement, so we struck up a conversation. Soon, we were taking evening walks together four to five times a week, and I really enjoyed them. Tade was soft-spoken and passionate about starting his own church. He confided in me that he was just waiting to find a wife before going all in.

His passion was infectious, and I found myself secretly wishing he would ask me to be that wife. I wasn’t a young woman anymore, but I was no stranger to hard work. I was sure I would be able to support him in building a church from the ground up. I didn’t think love mattered at this point — we just needed to agree on our goals and remain committed to them.

In September 2020, Tade officially asked to court me, and we began planning our wedding. We got married in May 2021. Up until then, I believed everything was finally falling into place. My parents were delighted, his family seemed nice, and we were going to settle down in Ibadan, a city I had grown to love.

After the wedding festivities, I moved into Tade’s home. When I arrived, I found three young children in the living room. Surprised, I asked my new husband who they were, and he flippantly replied that they were his children from his previous marriage. I was confused. Tade had never once mentioned having a child, let alone three. And all the times I visited him during courtship, I never saw any signs of them.

When I brought this up, he said that they had been living with his sister because he couldn’t manage their care. But now that I was around, he said I could take care of them while he focused on building his church.

That was the first major crack in our relationship, and it opened the door to many more problems. I tried my best with the children, but going from having zero children to three was overwhelming. Tade, busy with his church plans, didn’t work regularly, which meant the burden of providing for the family fell to me. I returned to farming and started selling vegetables and sweet potatoes to feed myself and the kids.

After two years, I couldn’t take it anymore. I broke down and cried to my mother, hoping she would understand. Instead, she told me that marriage is a trial for women and that I should endure so I wouldn’t bring shame on my family — especially after marrying so late. Her response crushed me.

So I turned to my aunt in Ibadan instead, and thankfully, she supported me.

She asked me what kind of work I’d like to do, since farming clearly wasn’t sustainable — especially with Tade providing little to no financial support. I told her I wanted to go to the UK through the elderly care route. She supported the idea and even paid for my visa application, but it was rejected.

When I told Tade about the application, he lost it. He began cursing me, accusing me of trying to ruin God’s mandate for His Kingdom by abandoning him and his children. I tried to explain that sending money home could improve all our lives, and maybe, one day, we could all move abroad as a family. But Tade refused to listen. He insisted I give up on leaving the country and focus on farming and raising the children.

I didn’t listen. With help from different family members, I applied two more times, but both were rejected. The repeated rejections broke me. Tade had become verbally and emotionally abusive since I first mentioned my plans. He mocked me, saying things like, ”See this one that wants to run away. You’ll die in this Nigeria.” Eventually, he admitted that he had called the embassy during my last two applications and told them I had forged documents so they would reject me.

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The weight of that betrayal crushed me. I left the house and went to stay with my aunt from lockdown. When I told her everything, she advised that since my family didn’t support me leaving my marriage, and Tade himself wasn’t pulling his weight at home, I had to be strategic.

She bought me a JAMB form and encouraged me to secretly study a course that could lead to a good job abroad. I told her I didn’t know how I’d juggle the children, the farm, and school, but she told me not to worry. She would tell Tade that she had hired me as her assistant, and since her shop was far from our house, the kids and I would need to stay with her more often. He hesitated at first, but eventually agreed — mostly because it meant he wouldn’t have to spend money feeding his children.

I wrote the JAMB exam in 2024 and got into the university to study Nursing. I start this September, and I’m so excited about what’s ahead. The children still think I work as an assistant for my aunt. What they don’t know is that all I do at the shop is study. I’m determined to get outstanding grades so I can japa as soon as I earn my certificate. My aunt has promised to support my dream, even if it means taking additional qualifying exams once I get abroad.

When the time comes, I plan to leave Tade’s children with him. I’ve done my part. As for remarrying, I don’t think I will. This decision to defy everyone and pursue a degree is revealing parts of myself I didn’t even know existed. I want to explore all of them. And I’m not sure there’ll be time or space for marriage after that. I’m making peace with that now.

Aside from becoming a graduate, there’s only one thing I’m truly looking forward to in the next decade: leaving Tade behind.

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*Rose (25) always believed love could bridge any gap, but nothing prepared her for what it meant to love a man her father couldn’t stand. The tension was clear from the moment she introduced *Jerry (30). Now, as her marriage begins to crack under the weight of his disapproval, she’s left torn between the two most important men in her life.

This is Rose’s story as told to Mofiyinfoluwa

From the very beginning, my dad has made clear he doesn’t like my husband, *Jerry. That disapproval has been one of the most painful parts of our marriage.

I met Jerry in 2021 at a mutual friend’s birthday party. He stood out immediately, not just because he was kind, but because he listened. I’m soft-spoken. People often talk over me, but Jerry saw me.

We exchanged numbers and started talking every day. Before long, things became serious. We never really dated in the traditional sense. After eight months of talking, he planned my dream proposal on the beach, and we got engaged. It all felt so fast, but it also felt right. I had always wanted to start my own family, and at 23, fresh out of NYSC and medical school, I had something that belonged to me.

My mum passed away when I was 15, so it’s been me, my dad, and my two siblings. My dad gave us lots of love — definitely more than most Nigerian parents — but he holds very strong, rigid views. I already knew my dad wouldn’t be thrilled about Jerry, but I didn’t expect things to get this bad.

He first said I was too young and should focus on building my future. Then, he found out Jerry was a teacher, and things got worse. My dad is a successful businessman, and he cares a lot about status. To him, teachers are poor and lazy — not someone his daughter should be with. He compared me to my older sister, an accountant in the U.S., and kept asking why I couldn’t follow a “better” path like hers.

I tried to explain that Jerry wasn’t lazy. He ran a lesson centre and juggled extra tutoring jobs just to build a future for us. But my dad didn’t care. He refused to meet Jerry at first and tried convincing me to call off the wedding and secretly move abroad. It took family members begging him before he reluctantly agreed to the wedding.

Even then, he made the entire process difficult. He criticised everything, from how Jerry’s family behaved to how they dressed and how much they contributed. When I used some of my savings to support Jerry with aso ebi expenses, he shouted and said he wouldn’t wear it. I’d never seen him act that petty before.

The first few months of marriage were tough. I didn’t have a job yet, and Jerry did everything he could to keep us afloat. My dad helped with some money once in a while, but it always came with passive-aggressive comments like ‘You brought this on yourself. One time, he sent our rent money and used ‘good luck’ as the narration. I stopped asking after that and borrowed money from my younger brother, which only made my dad angrier.

It’s been over a year since the wedding, and Jerry and I are finally finding our rhythm. I got into a residency program, and Jerry’s work has picked up. But now that we’re considering starting a family, I’m scared.

My dad has already started with the passive-aggressive comments. He recently said, “The only thing that man knows how to do is get you pregnant.” I laughed it off, but it hurt. I want to be excited about growing our family, but my dad’s disapproval feels like a dark cloud hanging over everything.

Jerry and I had a fight recently about my dad. It happened after a family lunch during Easter. My dad made a comment about Jerry’s lesson centre not “picking up.” Jerry got defensive and responded. My dad got angry, and he asked us to leave. Later, I told Jerry he shouldn’t have responded. I didn’t think it helped his case. He said I should have backed him up if I didn’t want him to defend himself, and accused me of putting my dad before him.

I don’t think that’s true. I’ve acknowledged how bad my dad can be, and I do my best to prevent things from escalating. But then, Jerry told me something that shocked me — that he was banning me from visiting my dad as the man of the house. He wanted me to choose, and that’s not possible. My dad has been everything to me since my mum died. He never remarried, even though he easily could have. Instead, he chose to raise my siblings and me. It feels wrong to cut him off.

Since that argument, Jerry has been spending less time at home. He claims he’s studying at the lesson centre, but he smells of alcohol when he comes home. The anxiety I feel these days is crippling. I cry so much because I’m seeing a side of him I didn’t know existed. I can’t even talk to my dad about it. A part of me wonders if he was right about Jerry, but I also feel like he may have pushed us into this situation.

I love my husband. He makes me feel seen, safe, and supported. But sometimes I wonder how long I can carry the emotional weight of loving someone my father resents so deeply. I keep hoping my dad will come around. I’m worried Jerry and I might not survive it.

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For many older Nigerians, divorce still feels like a taboo. But what makes some people walk away from a marriage they once hoped would last forever? I spoke to six Nigerians whose stories reveal that the decision to leave is never taken lightly and is sometimes the only way to survive.

Old Nigerian couple having an argument in their living room while processing a divorce.

“He threatened to kill me if I told anyone his secret” — Doris, 53

*Doris thought she was marrying a man of God. But what awaited her was a heavy secret that imprisoned her.

“I married my sweetheart after three years of courtship. We met in church, where he was the youth pastor. We were celibate throughout the relationship, so I looked forward to our wedding night. But that night, he said he was tired and needed to rest.

That continued for a week. He refused to touch me. Instead, he’d leave the house for church and return late, only to insist we pray till midnight. Whenever I brought up intimacy, he’d accuse me of being ‘too carnal’.

Eventually, I’d had enough. I waited for him to come home one night and told him we must have sex. When I pulled down his trousers, I screamed.

What I saw didn’t look like a grown man’s private part; it looked like a baby’s penis. I locked myself in the guest room that night. The next day, he threatened me and said if I ever told anyone, he’d kill me.

I lived in silence for months, crying myself to sleep and mourning the future I thought I would never have. I wanted kids, but there was no possibility of that now. The depression was heavy. I eventually confided in my mother and sister, and they encouraged me to leave. I also reported to our church leaders. They rebuked him for not disclosing the truth before marriage, but tried to convince me to stay.

I refused. I packed my things, filed for divorce, and moved to another city for safety. For years, I feared he might come after me, just as he’d threatened. Thankfully, I found peace again. I got remarried to a kind widower years later.”

“She chewed her memory card in front of everyone” — *Chijoke, 51

For *Chijoke, what began with a wedding invitation turned into a revelation that exposed *Ijeoma’s cheating and financial deceit, ultimately tearing their decade-long marriage apart.

In 2021, my wife, *Ijeoma, got invited to a wedding in our hometown, Abba. She was supposed to be gone for a week. But after two days, my sister, who lives there, called to say she hadn’t seen Ijeoma.

When I asked her where she was, Ijeoma claimed she had stopped to see her best friend in Enugu. I asked her to pass the phone to her friend, but she gave an excuse and hung up.

Something wasn’t right. I contacted a friend in Enugu and asked him to help me hire a private investigator. That’s how I found out she was staying at a popular hotel in Enugu with a man. We got pictures as evidence.

When she returned, I confronted her with the pictures. She claimed the man was a schoolmate and they had only gone to the hotel’s restaurant to eat. She kept lying, so I called a family meeting and asked her to give me her phone. She removed the memory card and chewed it right there in front of everyone before handing it over. That was the confirmation I needed.

But it wasn’t just cheating. We ran a bakery together that made an average of ₦250k weekly. But the week she travelled? We made over ₦900k. That same week, her contribution collector came around and mentioned she’d been contributing ₦30k daily. That was when I realised she’d been stealing from the business.

Her family and the church kept begging me to forgive her. I heard their pleas, but also had my own plan. I lied that we needed money to pay our shop rent and asked how much she had. She said ₦300k. I already knew she was lying because I had her bank statement and she had about ₦1.1m sitting there. Out of guilt, she gave me ₦1m.

After that, I switched up. I became cold, cheated openly and took full control of the business finances. It drove her mad. Her mother eventually visited the shop one day, shouting and demanding that her daughter leave the marriage. I didn’t argue. We got divorced in 2023, and I took the kids.

“I nearly lost an eye after he beat me” — *Samiat, 42

For *Samiat, marriage was something she was handed. At just 18, she became a wife and punching bag. Many years later, a piece of paper gave her the escape she needed.

“I was 18 when I married *Muktar. At the time, it wasn’t a choice. He was older and quickly became what society said a husband should be — my lord. He beat me for every little mistake.

By the time I had my children, I knew I had to find a way out of the marriage. I applied for jobs in other states just to have a reason to be away. I eventually landed a junior role with a government agency in Abuja and relocated. The job wasn’t too demanding, so I enrolled in part-time studies at Open University. I didn’t tell him because he’d never allow it.

Whenever I visited home, he picked fights, saying I’d stopped being submissive and should quit my job. I refused. One night, he beat me and pushed me into a glass shelf. I was hospitalised and almost lost an eye.

When I returned home, I found a piece of paper with three lines scribbled on it: ‘I divorce you. I divorce you. I divorce you’. In our Hausa culture, seeing those words meant the marriage was over. I was thrilled and thanked him, but he claimed he wrote it in anger and tried to take it back. I grabbed the paper and ran. That same night, I returned to Abuja.

The next day at work, I lied and said I got injured in an accident. But when I got home that evening, he was waiting at the staff quarters gate. He attacked me and demanded the paper, but my neighbours heard my screams and rushed to pull him off me. They kicked him out and said he’d be arrested if he ever came back.

That was my turning point. I graduated, got promoted, and posted my graduation pictures online on the first anniversary of leaving him. He saw them and showed up again, but I had him arrested this time. That was the last time I saw him.

Now, I’m a senior civil servant. My kids are all grown and married, and I visit them often.”

“The moment I got a job, I divorced her” — *Peter, 55

They say hardship tests a person’s love. For *Peter, losing his job didn’t just change his finances; it exposed the true colours of the woman he once adored.

“I married a woman I truly loved. But our relationship turned sour when I lost my job. She suddenly hated me. She would insult and sometimes ignore me in front of everyone. At some point, she stopped cooking for me. I had to beg the neighbours for food to eat.

My joblessness stretched into six years. I applied for countless jobs and tried to stay hopeful, but my resentment grew with each rejection. The last straw was when my younger brother fell ill. I begged my wife to help take a loan for his treatment, but she refused. She made it clear that it wasn’t her problem. My brother died shortly after.

Then, in 2017, I got the biggest break of my life — a job with ExxonMobil. The first thing I did was file for divorce. However, while we’ve separated, I’ve made sure our children are cared for. I send money regularly and pay their school fees.”

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“To him, I was no longer his wife, but a witch sent to kill him” — *Adebisi, 69

*Adebisi’s husband treated her more like a slave than a partner. She was looked down on and eventually discarded without warning.

“I was just 20 in 1980 when my family married me off to a wealthy, educated man in Lagos. I left our village in Osun full of dreams, but when I got there, I quickly realised I was just a replacement for his dying wife.

His first wife had late-stage cancer and asked him to marry someone she could observe. Particularly, someone who’d be able to properly care for her children. That woman turned out to be me. For nearly two years, I cared for her, the children, and the household. I cooked, cleaned, and helped her through her final moments. When she eventually passed, I finally felt like I belonged.

Not long after, I welcomed my first child after a long battle with infertility. Around this period, I noticed a strange girl around the house. She was barely 16 and best friends with my husband’s eldest daughter. I didn’t think much of it until I walked into my bedroom one day and found him on top of her.

I called him a disgrace for sleeping with a girl young enough to be his child. But he wasn’t fazed.. He married the same girl two years later.

At first, I tried to coexist with her peacefully, but she made my life hell. She would pour sand in my food and beat my daughter when I wasn’t looking. I reported to our husband, but he mostly ignored my complaints. She, on the other hand, would whisper to him in English and write letters I couldn’t read.

One December, we travelled to our village. He told me to stay back for a while and promised to come for me. I waited for weeks, then months. When I returned to Lagos, he told the guards at the gate that I was no longer his wife but a witch sent to kill him. I slept outside the gate for days before finally returning to my village in shame.

It took me years to move on. But eventually, I remarried. Even now, I still wonder what she told him that made him turn so completely.”

“She slept with men around” — Shola, 58

The reputation his wife built in their small town left a stain on *Shola. When he got a transfer offer, he didn’t hesitate to take it.

“The best thing that came out of my marriage to *Tade was our kids. That’s it. Everything else was chaos. She fought with neighbours, stole from friends, and embarrassed me in ways I can’t even explain.

I heard rumours she was sleeping with our driver, then the salesboy at her store, and the gateman. I tried to protect what was left of the marriage, but her reputation made it harder every day. So when I got an offer to transfer to another state office, I didn’t hesitate. It was the escape I’d been praying for.

She said she’d join me later and needed time to close her business. I agreed and moved with the kids. That was the last time we lived under the same roof.

She refused to join us for months. Meanwhile, people back home said she had gotten even bolder. The men were coming and going with her as they liked. Eventually, I stopped waiting. I filed for divorce and sent her the papers.

The last I heard, one of her boyfriends ran off with all her money and wrecked her business. I have zero regrets about leaving her.”

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Table of contents

Simple Happy Anniversary Messages

Funny Wedding Anniversary Messages

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Heart-Touching Anniversary Wishes for your Husband

Romantic Anniversary Wishes for your Wife

Thoughtful Anniversary Wishes for Couples

“Happy Anniversary to Us”: Messages to Celebrate Your Love

Wedding Anniversary Messages for Parents

Anniversary Messages for Friends

This is Dunni’s story as told to Betty:

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This is Zainab’s Story, as told to Mofiyinfoluwa

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“I couldn’t tell my wife I lost ₦10m, so I sold our car and lied about it” — Austin*, 39

“I have a secret emergency fund stash in case of eventualities” — Ezinne*, 29

“My wife has never known my actual salary” — Lanre*, 33

“I keep my gambling problem a secret” — Rotimi*, 41

“My husband doesn’t know I pay my brother’s school fees” — Joy*, 31

“I’m constantly shopping online, but my husband doesn’t know” — Favour*, 31

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“I didn’t know about the divorce until I turned 18” — Mel*, 30

“I didn’t see it coming after 31 years of marriage” — Blessing*, 22

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“I found the love letters that ended their marriage” — Uthman*, 28

“I knew he was evil, but longed for the normalcy other families had” — Dunsin*, 25

“Our relatives would pressure me to get them to reconcile” — Imade*, 28

“My father was rich, but refused to pay my school fees” — Kennedy*, 63

“I’ve learned not to let their story define mine” — Yinka, 27

This is *Fisayo’s story As Told To Betty:

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This is Obiora’s story as told to Mofiyinfoluwa

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This is Durotimi’s story as told to Betty:

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This is Rose’s story as told to Mofiyinfoluwa

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“He threatened to kill me if I told anyone his secret” — Doris, 53

“She chewed her memory card in front of everyone” — *Chijoke, 51

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“I nearly lost an eye after he beat me” — *Samiat, 42

“The moment I got a job, I divorced her” — *Peter, 55

“To him, I was no longer his wife, but a witch sent to kill him” — *Adebisi, 69

“She slept with men around” — Shola, 58

**“I couldn’t tell my wife I lost ₦10m, so I sold our car and lied about it” — Austin*, 39**

**“I have a secret emergency fund stash in case of eventualities” — Ezinne*, 29**

**“My wife has never known my actual salary” — Lanre*, 33**

**“I keep my gambling problem a secret” — Rotimi*, 41**

**“My husband doesn’t know I pay my brother’s school fees” — Joy*, 31**

**“I’m constantly shopping online, but my husband doesn’t know” — Favour*, 31**

**This is *Fisayo’s story As Told To Betty:**