Depending on a number of factors, a lot of people change once they get married. So, to help alert your future partner, we’ve created a quiz that will reveal just what kind of spouse you’ll be — romantic, unfaithful, reliable, detached or supportive.
Take this quiz to know:
Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”.
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From all the congratulations we have had to say in recent times, it’s obvious that many of us are getting married soon. In anticipation of all the adulting in front of us, one of the major issues we are going to face is the issue of genotype. These conversations can be awkward, so we decided to take all that awkwardness out of the way for you.
We asked a couple of people how they would raise the conversation about genotype. Here are some of the responses:
“You must have malaria ooo. You will then add that I don’t know why I am having this malaria again but they said AC/AA/AS don’t always come down with malaria. This is like the third time this year and it has not happened before. The person will be forced to say their genotype in defense.”
“Baby, do you have your blood group on your ID card? What if you are in an accident and you need a transfusion? Do you even know your genotype?“
“I have to ask on the first date so I know whether the relationship is going to be as invested as mutual funds or we are doing Detty December.”
“I am AA, I don’t ask because let’s be honest, I don’t plan on building a future with you.”
“What do you do for fun? Me, I enjoy long romantic walks to the lab to get tested.”
“There is no point sugarcoating it. I am just going to ask you plainly on the first interaction. You come up to me and say you like me, I respond with what’s your genotype?”
Which method do you prefer the most? Tell us why in the comment section.
For as long as she could remember, getting married and starting a family was this woman’s ultimate goal. And that’s exactly what she did. Getting married at 20 and having a baby at 21. Now, one kid in, her perspective on life and motherhood has changed.
5 glorious years now. And I’ve enjoyed every bit of it.
Honestly, it’s like playing Russian roulette. Which sounds a lot more dire than I mean it to. But you just don’t know what you get out of each day. My husband and I are both spontaneous, so it might be that.
Honestly, we didn’t but we also didn’t plan to stop it which seems ridiculous now. I didn’t even know I was pregnant until I was 2 months gone. I had missed my first month’s period but I’m used to my period being sporadic so I didn’t think twice about it.
I was ecstatic o. Like I said we hadn’t exactly planned for it, but we hadn’t planned to stop it. But for as long as I could remember getting married and starting my own family was the ultimate goal. I had excelled in school, graduated with a first class in Economics so a lot of people didn’t expect me to get married so soon after school. I was supposed to start my career and become this big shot career woman you know.
By the end of final year I had been dating my husband for four years. We met in my first year, he was in his final year in Engineering. He got lucky and got a job straight out of Uni, so by the time I was done he was stable. There was just no reason to wait.
The only person who had worse baby fever than me was my husband. He’s still that way. I was still breastfeeding this one when he started talking about baby number 2. I just said Oga calm down. But he was the practical one. First couple of weeks, first several weeks, in fact, my head was still in clouds. I was picking out baby names and shopping for cute baby stuff. He was the one that sorted out prenatal class, bought the baby books arranged the doctor’s appointments etc.
Haha no, not like then. And I bet you knew that already. All of that was the really easy stuff. It didn’t feel like that at the time, but preparing for the baby is really nothing. It’s even fun sef.
I don’t work. Well, at least not a 9-5. I’m a full-time housewife and I run a very small scale food order service on the side. His job, on the other hand, is, of course, a full-time 9-5 and sometimes he’s required to be offshore for weeks at a time. So I’d say no he’s definitely not as hands-on. He loves his child very deeply and provides for her, but her primary care is left up to just me.
I was one of the really lucky ones. No morning sickness or significant weight gain. I had a lot of food cravings and my feet ballooned but apart from that it was as easy as a pregnancy could get. I hear your first child is your most difficult but I just popped mine right out. My labour time was I think 7 hours in total which is pretty great.
Hmm. Lol actually now that I think about it, the first month was good o. Because that’s when my mother did her omugwo. And she spoiled me rotten. In fact, if I could redo that month I won’t have let her. All I was doing was feeding my baby. She was changing diapers and taking baths for her and picking her up when she cried. I did all of that stuff sometimes during that month, but I didn’t feel pressured to because I knew my mum was there to do it if I didn’t. I was really chilling then and I didn’t even know it. I’ll wake up every morning saying I was stressed. I didn’t know what I was in for once my mother left.
That is when shit got real. I don’t know how we planned it but as my mother left my husband also went offshore like the week after. My mum was supposed to pop in once a week to help but then she got sick. So it was just me and the baby for 7-8 weeks. I never actually went to a doctor to get diagnosed but in those weeks I think I tethered on the edge of postpartum depression. First of all my baby was a crier. Every new mum says this but mine was on another level, I was sleeping maybe three or four hours a day. Then I got a blocked milk duct but I couldn’t stop breastfeeding. The blocked duct meant my baby wasn’t getting enough milk which made her cranky and breastfeeding for me was painful which made me cranky.
She’s 4. So she’s at that age where she can’t help but leave a mess everywhere she goes. I got help when she turned one and I’ve always had help since then. Which is funny because I swore I’d never be that person. I struggled with the guilt of getting help at first. I was a full-time housewife my only job was to raise my kid. I shouldn’t have needed help. Now I’ve come to the realisation that trying to form super mum is foolish. If you can afford it get all the help you need. If it’s 4 nannies you want, get the 4 nannies.
Forming a bond with my child. I also realised a lot of new mums are liars. That thing about forming an instant connection or falling in love with your child the minute you take them in your arms is a lie. And if I had known that before having my baby I’d have saved myself from years of guilt. For a very long time it was just this thing that needed my constant attention and cried all the time and didn’t let me sleep and stopped me from having a life. Then they were the body image issues. Everyone told me how lucky I was not to have gained too much weight and I didn’t but my body just doesn’t look the same. From when I was 15 till when I had my baby my waist line was 25”. It’s 29 now. Which doesn’t seem like a big deal. But I just don’t like what I see in the mirror.
This is hard. Half of the time it might seem like I’m complaining but I really do love being a mother. I don’t of it’s possible to have just one best thing about it. The smallest things about her thrill me. Recently she started saying ‘I love you’ a lot and even if it’s to everybody from me to the gateman, hearing her say it, is the best part of my day.
I’d have waited and planned a roadmap for myself. At 21 I couldn’t see beyond having a husband and a child. That was it for me I didn’t think of anything else. I thought of maybe working after I had three kids but I didn’t make any concrete plans. And after the baby, you are no longer a priority. Whatever plans you want to make have to be made around your baby.
No, I’m ok with just this one. Which is an abomination apparently because ‘what if something happens’. But I think that’s an odd way to look at life. My husband thinks I’ll still change my mind but then he has thought so for four years. I know he’s still hopeful but for now, he seems accepting of my decision and I’m grateful for that.
Getting married to the love of your life is the ultimate ‘happy ever after’. Most especially here, where till death do us part is taken quite literally. Divorce is never the answer, but for this 29 year old woman it was.
Through our parents. I used to make a joke to my friends about how my marriage was arranged. His parents thought it was about time he settled down, so did mine. I don’t even know if there was a courting period. Both our parents were so involved from the get-go, we both knew how it was going to end.
Came about 9/10 months after we met. It might as well have been the introduction. There was no ring right away. He had his parents escort him to meet with my parents and I, to inform us of his intention to marry me. After he spoke and his dad spoke, my dad turned to me and just asked do you accept, and I nodded.
No. Never. Not even a little bit. For me, it was just why not. I had never had a boyfriend, never dated anyone. Before we met I had always wondered how I’d go about it. He’s also has a genuinely good heart. There were just no downsides to it.
Oh the ring came, a couple of weeks after. Lol very unceremoniously though. He just sort of handed it to me.
23, I turned 24 a couple of months after the wedding.
Small by Nigerian standards. About 300 guests in total. My parents are simple people they hate anything elaborate. I think his Mum would have liked something bigger. But my parents are very persuasive.
Didn’t happen. It was marriage then husband’s house. There’s a significant age difference between us so he was already settled down, living in a family appropriate accommodation.
Uneventful really. We were like housemates. I cooked and cleaned, he went to work. I was working in my Uncle’s firm before we got married. And after the wedding, I just sort of stopped going. We attended social functions together and always had dinner together (his idea). He didn’t want kids right away so I had to get these shots every three months.
I don’t know. I was quite fond of him in the early years. I don’t think we were as close as couples could be. But we had our moments.
As a deeply cultural man. Which is funny because he had spent quite some time abroad. And in my mind, that should bring about a certain level of exposure. I don’t think it was something I noticed before we got married. We never had conversations about things that affected both of us. He gave instructions. Our first tiff was when he asked me to get on birth control. He also asked me not to mention it to my parents. And I disagreed, I just didn’t keep anything from them. He said he was disappointed at my insubordination and didn’t talk to me for days.
How often he travelled. He’d go for several weeks at a time. No business meeting takes that long. But that wasn’t the problem, it was that I couldn’t ask questions about it. When I did he’d chuckle and say ‘you too talk’ like he was talking to a ten-year-old. Then there was the policing of my clothes he didn’t want me wearing jeans, which I found ridiculous. The matter escalated and got to my parents. I stopped wearing jeans.
I suspected but never cared enough to actually find out. There was the frequent travelling and many late nights, but I don’t think he ever brought another woman into our home.
6 years and 2 months. Separated for the last 3 years of the marriage.
I was deeply unhappy. I became increasingly independent as he became increasingly controlling. It felt unnatural to have every facet of my life be so utterly controlled by someone else. I don’t think I even felt that way with my parents.
I just left. I didn’t leave with the intention of never going back at first. I just knew I wanted to leave. I called my sister in Abuja, asked to stay with her for a couple of weeks. Weeks turned into months, months turned into two years.
I wore jeans to the airport when I was going to Abuja.
Do you know that I don’t know. He called incessantly for the first couple of weeks and I took the coward’s way out and ignored the calls. Then he just stopped. The first time I spoke to him after the separation was when I was asking for the divorce.
He protested the divorce at first even though we had been separated for three years. But it didn’t take a lot of time for him to cave. He too was tired. I wasn’t the subservient 23 year old he married. I’d protest decisions he made and ‘disobey instructions’. I was just tired of having my life controlled.
Explosive. Jesus. Family meeting upon family were called and I was summoned. I didn’t attend. I’m so thankful for my sister because there was pressure on her to send me back to his house but she didn’t budge. My mum even came to my sister’s house to beg me. My dad’s own was I must not set foot back in his house. The more pressure I got from family, the more I dug my heels in.
They had still not come to terms with the separation when I told them about the divorce. 3 years after imagine. We are Catholic and one of the very few grounds of annulment don’t include being tire.d of your husband. I told them I’d think about it because of how badly they took the news. But I’ve finalized things with him.
I can’t say I know yet. For me that journey has only begun. I kept on wearing my ring throughout the separation. And only close friends and family knew about it. So everyone else naturally thought I was still with my husband. Those who knew I was staying with my sister assumed he was working abroad or something. We never corrected the misconception. But I finally stopped wearing my ring this year.
Odd. Very odd. I wore the ring long enough for it to leave a permanent mark. Sometimes when I look at it, I sort of miss wearing the ring. It was a very nice ring.
Haha. No not really. I’ve been out on a date or two. But not dating dating and not interested. The only person worth my time right now is me.
