• The last time I celebrated my birthday, a friend asked what type of cake I’d like, and I said, “Anything will do.” When the cake arrived, another super annoying friend, who came to spend the day with me, commented, “It’s giving low-budget traditional wedding cake.” God, abeg.

    Don’t be like me. Whether you’re paying for the cake or someone’s offering to send you one, you should know what you want. If you don’t, these birthday cake designs from Meta’s AI should inspire you.

    January

    There’s a colour riot going on here, and I can’t say AI ate with this design. But at least no one will mistake it for a wedding cake.

    February

    Is it just me, or is a two-tier cake too much for a birthday celebration, especially in this Tinubu economy?

    March

    This birthday cake design isn’t bad. The strawberries and blueberries are definitely a nice touch.

    April

    Looking at this cake, my only question is: Will Nigerian bakers come through with that lion head design?

    May

    This cake looks basic AF, but it’s also a decent design for anyone who doesn’t give a shit about birthdays.

    June

    I can’t pinpoint exactly what makes this cake pleasing to look at, but yes to it.

    July

    I’ll laugh my ass off for 30 minutes straight if anyone shows up with a cake that has my head on it. But yeah, a lot is going on with this cake.

    August

    August-borns, y’all heard AI. Your birthday cake should have a hyper-realistic carving of your face on it.

    September

    Okay, remember the birthday cake that made my friend say, “It’s giving low-budget traditional wedding cake”? This cake has a strong resemblance to it.

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    October

    AI, please now. Why does anyone need a four-tier multicolour cake for their birthday? This only makes sense if they’re celebrating an age above 100.

    November

    This is the perfect cake for bougie November-borns.

    December

    I think this might be the cutest cake on this list. Nigerian bakers, over to you.

    Read this next: What If Your Birthday Isn’t Your Birthday: A Case For Not Celebrating It

  • If you have female friends, you’ll know that forgetting their birthday celebrations and sending them a regular birthday cake is unforgivable. No matter what you tell yourself to feel good, it low-key means you don’t rate them. 

    Didn’t you think to add a cute note to the cake? Design it in their favourite colours? Spell out their oriki on the cake? Anyway, if you want to impress your female friends at their next birthday celebration, here are a few options to guide you.

    Minimalist cake

    10 Birthday Cake Ideas That’ll Easily Impress Your Female Friends

    Image source: Instagram/@Bakeshop

    This is perfect for your bougie friends who pretend not to care about birthdays. They secretly love them. Throw in a cute message or drawing to get a reaction from them.

    Minimalist floral cake

    10 Birthday Cake Ideas That’ll Easily Impress Your Female Friends

    Image source: Instagram/@Saltlagos

    This is ideal for your plant-parent friends, who care for everything but the new plants they adopt every market day. 

    Glam-inspired cake

    10 Birthday Cake Ideas That’ll Easily Impress Your Female Friends

    Image source: Instagram/@Glazesandganache

    This cake is a must for the friend who takes her glam as seriously as life itself or the MUA friend.

    Kiddies-themed cake

    10 Birthday Cake Ideas That’ll Easily Impress Your Female Friends

    Image source: Instagram/@Sweetrelishbakery

    This cake is for friends who’ve turned 25 five years in a row, those who insist they look nothing like their age, and those who say things like “I’m forever young at heart.” 

    Calendar cake

    Image source: Instagram/@Nectar.confectionary

    This design went viral earlier this year; everyone wanted one even when they weren’t celebrating. It’s the perfect cake for friends who are always up-to-date with social media trends.

    Pizza cake

    10 Birthday Cake Ideas That’ll Easily Impress Your Female Friends

    Image source: Instagram/@Nectar.confectionary

    It’s the best choice for your foodie friend who is also a pizza lover. They always love variety. 

    Metallic gold cake

    Image source: Instagram/@Cakebybless

    You can do no wrong in the eyes of your owambe and paranra-loving friends if you give them this birthday cake. 

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    Photo cake

    Image source: Instagram/@Sweetrelishbakery

    An absolute favourite for friends who cherish creating and keeping memories, from clubbing to trips abroad.

    Retro cake

    10 Birthday Cake Ideas That’ll Easily Impress Your Female Friends

    Image source: Instagram/@Glazesandganache

    Ideal for that one friend with a unique sense of style and approach to everything.

    Money cake

    Probably the most important cake on this list, especially given the current state of the economy. Make sure the money is in hard currency to avoid EFCC’s wahala.

    Enjoyed this piece about birthday cakes? Read this next: Leap Year Birthday: “I Have Two Official Birth Dates”