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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    How long have you been in your relationship?

    Two years. Omo, it just hit me that we’ve been together for quite a long time.

    Haha. How did you both meet?

    Naffy and I met in uni. We were in the same department and often saw each other at MSSN activities. We were friends from when we met in our second year until our final year in 2022. Through these years, our mutual friends used to jokingly imply there was more to the friendship. I liked Naffy but didn’t tell her because I thought she would disgrace me.

    I’m screaming. Why did you think that?

    Naffy is a woke babe, but she’s also a hijab-wearing sister. I always thought she’d take off shouting “haram!” if I shared my feelings. Ultimately, she was the one who called me out. 

    One day, we were studying in class when she just turned to me and said, “Olabanji, when are we becoming official? It’s time to put a label on this thing we’re doing.” 

    Outwardly, I said, “So you don’t know we’ll marry each other?” But in my head, I was jumping up and down with excitement. See how she just made things easy for me. 

    Anyway, there was no need for toasting again. We spent ₦5k on a date at Chicken Republic — we were broke students, don’t blame us  — to signify the start of our relationship. We’ve been together since.

    How’s that going?

    It was smooth-sailing at first. We already knew much about each other, so transitioning into a relationship wasn’t difficult. 

    Our first argument was about the frequency of calls. I thought dating meant we had to be on the phone at least five times a day. But Naffy didn’t like that; she told me to calm down with the calls. I didn’t have to call more than once a day or at all since we saw each other almost every day. 

    I assumed her complaints meant she wasn’t really into me. Almost every girl I know wants their man to call them every time, but my own wanted something different. It took some time, but I understood Naffy’s point and we worked it out.

    But we’ve had to make more calls since 2023. NYSC posted us to different states for service and forced us into long-distance. While we finished service in 2024, we are still in our respective states because of work.

    What’s navigating a long-distance relationship like?

    It’s tough, expensive and life-threatening. Naffy works in Abuja, and we travel to see each other every 2-3 months. I dare not tell my parents I’m travelling regularly these days, when insecurity and kidnappings are the rage. But I do it for love.

    How much do you typically spend on these trips?

    A return trip by road costs around ₦80k. When I visit, I stay for the weekend, and we go out on food dates or for outdoor activities. Those cost between ₦30k – ₦50k and I pay for them. When Naffy visits, I pay half her transport costs and handle any bills we incur on dates. 

    We last saw each other over the December break. She came to see me, but we were both broke and mostly stayed indoors. I supported her transport with ₦50k. We don’t plan to do the back and forth for long, though. I’m currently job hunting in Abuja to reduce the distance between us and save costs. 

    I also have family in Abuja, so I won’t be starting from scratch. I’m hoping the job and move will happen before August. I can actually move right now if I want — I work two remote gigs. But I want to have something solid to justify the move. Both gigs aren’t full-time work and can go at any time.

    What kind of money conversations do you and Naffy have?

    We talk a lot about how we intend to run the finances of our future home. We’ve agreed that I’ll handle all the bills, while she’ll assist by contributing 30% of her income to a joint savings account. The remaining 70% is for her to spend as she wishes. 

    We also know how much the other person earns. Uhm. Maybe I should say I know how much Naffy earns. I haven’t exactly been straightforward with my income.

    Why?

    It’s not like I’m deliberately hiding it. I have a bit of a gambling problem, but it’s not serious. I tried sports betting for the first time in 2024 and won ₦12k on my ₦100 stake. Of course, I had to try again, and it’s become a tradition for me to place bets every weekend. 

    Gambling is my adrenaline fix. Now add the advantage of potentially winning something. I’ve had more wins than losses, and the most I’ve lost in a weekend is ₦45k. 

    But in October 2024, I won ₦600k with a ₦1700 stake and sent Naffy ₦70k to repair her phone. Then I dumped the rest in my savings.

    I can’t tell Naffy because it’s a major red flag for her. She’s anti-gambling, and I know how she talks about people who do it. Plus, it’s haram. I’m just trying to save myself the argument that’ll come from talking about it. Worse, it can lead to a breakup. 

    So, I tell Naffy my income is ₦220k, but the real figure is ₦280k. The remaining ₦60k is my gambling budget for the month. 

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    Don’t you think she’ll find out when you’re both in the same city?

    I don’t think so. I’m not obsessed with gambling, so I can manage to stay off the apps when we’re together. There was a point last year when I consistently went above my budget and had to rely on loan apps to survive for the rest of the month. I was in debt for five consecutive months, but I have that under control now. 

    I’m only paying off a loan right now because I had to take an urgent loan for my brother in February. Naffy even knows about it.

    I’ll have to stop gambling before next year, though. We plan to get married in 2026 and I won’t be able to hide it anymore. It’s either I stop or I come clean.

    Right. Besides travelling to see each other, do you budget for gifts or other romance stuff?

    The only time we actively plan for gifts is during our birthdays. Other times, we just gift each other based on needs or if we see something the other might like. When Naffy visited in December, she bought me packs of kilishi because I told her my mum sent me Ijebu garri, and I was drinking garri at the slightest opportunity. I got her an abaya for her birthday a few months ago. It cost me ₦45k.

    You mentioned getting married in 2026. Do you have a safety net for that?

    Not at all. I have ₦400k in my savings, but this is Nigeria. I can’t even use the money to rent an apartment or survive for two months. I’m just hoping that things fall into place soon. If I get a good job that pays like ₦400k, I can afford to save more regularly. 

    I think this is one reason why it’s difficult to let go of betting apps — it takes one day to make life-changing money with gambling. How many years of saving would I have to do if I want to gather ₦3m for a wedding? Or even to set up a home? Sometimes I think I’m really nowhere close to ready for marriage. But I know Naffy wants it to happen soon. So, I just have to find a way.

    I can imagine. What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    I’d like us to settle somewhere far from this country. I feel like there’s a limit to how much I can dream in Nigeria. The other day, I learned that a family friend who moved abroad two years ago took out a mortgage and now has his own house. I don’t know if that can happen for me in the next 10 years in this country, and it’s really depressing. I just want to leave.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: He’s Juggling a Baby Mama and a Girlfriend on a ₦200k/Month Income

    Join 1,000+ Nigerians, finance experts and industry leaders at The Naira Life Conference by Zikoko for a day of real, raw conversations about money and financial freedom. Click here to buy a ticket and secure your spot at the money event of the year, where you’ll get the practical tools to 10x your income, network with the biggest players in your industry, and level up in your career and business.

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    How long have you been in your relationship?

    It’ll be a year in April. 

    How did you both meet?

    I met Adeola at a family friend’s wedding. The wedding MC organised a few games during the reception, one of which involved the Aso-Ebi girls bringing a man’s cap within a certain number of minutes.

    Adeola was one of the Aso-Ebi girls and she snatched my cap. When she returned my cap after the game, I joked that she needed to give me her number, and she did.

    After about two weeks of texting, we made plans for a movie date. I’d already toasted her; the date was supposed to be where she’d give me her answer. The date almost didn’t happen sef. Fortunately, it did and we officially started dating.

    Why did the date almost not happen?

    Adeola found out about my son. I intended to tell her about him after the date — I wanted it to be a face-to-face discussion. However, she discovered it two days before the date. My son turned one, and I posted him on my WhatsApp status. I’m not sure how I forgot I’d saved Adeola’s number and that she could see my status. 

    She asked, “Is this your son?” and I had no choice but to say yes. Adeola didn’t reply again even after I begged to explain. It took several calls before she agreed to hear what I had to say. She thought I was one of those married men who pursued single ladies. But I explained the situation with my son’s mum and she understood. 

    What was the situation with your baby’s mum?

    It’s a long story, but the summary is, my son’s mother and I aren’t compatible. We were in a toxic, constantly fighting relationship for years that ended when she got pregnant. Her family wanted us to marry, but I insisted it wasn’t happening. 

    So, we agreed that my ex would raise the child, I’d contribute financially, and I’d see my son a few times a month. That’s as far as our relationship goes, and that’s what I explained to Adeola. She had her doubts at first, but I convinced her to give our relationship a try and she did.

    How’s that going?

    It’s been going pretty well. Adeola is very considerate and hardly asks for money except for when she really needs it. Even then, it’s mostly when she wants to buy clothing bales for her online thrift business and needs quick cash.

    Our few arguments are usually about my son’s mother. Adeola always wants to go with me when I go see my son, but there’s always tension as she and my ex don’t really get along. Once, my ex told me not to bring Adeola to her house anymore, which turned into a big fight between the three of us. 

    Adeola also says my ex is using my son as an excuse to demand money from me. I send my ex a ₦50k allowance every month, and she often calls me for extra money, especially if my son is ill or she needs to buy something for him during festive seasons. I don’t think that’s too much for my child, but Adeola tends to complain about it. She thinks I spend too much on my ex and child.

    How do you manage these complaints?

    I’ve realised it’s best to pretend I’m doing what she says, just to let peace reign. I delete the debit alerts on my phone after I send my ex money so Adeola doesn’t see it and starts complaining. 

    She thinks I only send the monthly allowance. I’m not trying to hide things from her. I understand her concerns, but I don’t have much of a choice. I can’t leave my child to suffer.

    I see. Besides your child’s expenses, what other money conversations do you both have?

    We both hope to japa one day, so many of our conversations are about how to multiply our incomes. Adeola is currently saving ₦30k monthly because she wants to become a mini-importer for decorative flowers and interior decor accessories. She plans to raise ₦700k and should reach that figure in June. My job is to remind her to put money aside every month.

    For me, I’m trying to upskill and find a better-paying job. Adeola bought me a ₦7500 customer success management course in January. I’ve also bought a few other courses like that. We hope to get married by the end of the year or in 2026, so I need to increase my income as soon as possible.

    Subscribe to the Money by Zikoko Newsletter for more stories like this. It’ll only take a minute.

    How do you guys plan and budget for romance stuff in your relationship?

    After removing living expenses and providing for my child, there isn’t much left for romance. That might even be why Adeola complains about how much I give my ex. We hardly go on dates. The most we do is hang out at my place and cook. There’s no money to do anything else. 

    I got Adeola a handwritten card and picture frame for Valentine’s Day, which cost me ₦12k. Then for her birthday in December, I bought her a cake and a wristwatch. I think everything cost me ₦30k. She also bought me a watch for my birthday.

    Do you have a financial safety net?

    Hmm. I don’t. I just pray no emergency comes my way. Building a safety net is hard when so many responsibilities keep pulling at me. On second thought, Adeola is my safety net. I jokingly call her, “Madam CEO”. 

    I know she doesn’t have a set amount of money coming in every month, but I also know she has decent savings and is very financially responsible. The ₦700k she’s trying to raise is different from her regular savings. I’m not sure how much there is, but I know Adeola is the type to always have a plan B so she’s never stranded. If something happens, I can run to her. 

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    It’d be great to have joint long-term investments and assets like real estate or trust funds to pass on to our children. Life as a Nigerian is already hard, and I want to make sure my children have a soft landing.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: The Corps Member Dating a Mummy’s Boy on a ₦63k/Month Income

    Join 1,000+ Nigerians, finance experts and industry leaders at The Naira Life Conference by Zikoko for a day of real, raw conversations about money and financial freedom. Click here to buy a ticket and secure your spot at the money event of the year, where you’ll get the practical tools to 10x your income, network with the biggest players in your industry, and level up in your career and business.

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    How long have you been in your relationship?

    8 months.

    How did y’all meet?

    Justin and I have moved in the same friend groups since university. We were in the same department but didn’t get close until he invited me and some other classmates to a family event in July 2024. 

    We schooled in Lagos, but the event was in Owerri, so many of our friends couldn’t attend. I was already in Owerri — I have family here and was also trying to work out my NYSC posting to the state capital — and decided to attend. Initially, Justin and I only talked about the logistics of my accommodation. 

    Then I ended up staying over in one of the rooms in his family home, and we realised we were actually attracted to each other. I still joke today that it was love at first kiss for us.

    I rate it. Are you both in the same cities now?

    Oh yes. He moved back to Owerri after we finished school in 2023. Thankfully, my NYSC posting to Owerri worked out one month after we started dating, so there was no long-distance drama for us. 

    I also live close to his family home, where he lives, so I constantly pop in to say hi to everyone, especially his mum. The woman and I are now best friends. She loves me to pieces and makes sure I don’t forget it.

    That’s sweet. What are your finances like?

    When we first started dating, I was a broke babe with no earnings, but that didn’t last long because NYSC came to my rescue. I earn ₦63k now, which isn’t amazing money, but it meets my needs, and that’s better than nothing.

    Justin is a graphic designer for a Lagos-based tech company, and I think he earns at least ₦150k. I know it’s around that number because he had to pay ₦160k to swap his phone four months ago, and he said something about waiting for his salary to enter so he could do it.

    Is it safe to assume you both hardly discuss money?

    About two months into our relationship, I tried to ask him how much he earns, but he didn’t like how directly I asked. He said money was a sensitive topic, and he’d like us to get to know each other better before talking about it. That was our first argument.

    I understand he was probably trying to be careful and confirm I’m not the kind of person who’d start demanding money just because I knew his pocket. I don’t have a problem with that. I didn’t tell him my salary either, but I’m a corps member, so he knows I don’t have much. I haven’t asked about his income since then, and he hasn’t discussed it.

    You mentioned the salary question turned into an argument?

    Yeah. He told his mum I’d asked him, and she called me aside to say, “They don’t ask men things like that.” I felt blindsided that he’d report me to his mum, and we argued about it. We eventually apologised to each other. 

    But it wasn’t the last time Justin involved his mum in our issues, and I’m starting to think he’s a mummy’s boy. During my birthday in October, he asked what I wanted as a gift, and I shared screenshots of a wig and a smartwatch that’d been on my wishlist for a long time. 

    Both items cost about ₦420k, and I emphasised that he didn’t need to buy the two; I was just showing him what I wanted. You won’t believe this guy told his mum, and she warned me about being demanding. She was like, I shouldn’t use demands to chase a man who intends to marry me. He later bought me a dress for my birthday and told me his mum picked it.

    I see

    I’ve also noticed that his mum hears about our arguments and major discussions. In December, my sister had accommodation issues, and I told Justin about the situation. When I visited his mum for Christmas, she asked if my sister had solved her accommodation issues. 

    Sometimes, it’s weird that his mum is so actively involved. I love the woman; she’s incredibly nice and checks on me. But I’ve also heard horror stories about men who only listen to their mothers, and I often wonder if that’s what is playing out here. 

    Have you discussed these concerns with him?

    No. I’m 100% sure he’ll tell his mum, and I don’t want anything that’ll cause the woman to have issues with me. However, if his mum’s constant involvement gets overbearing, I’ll have to bring it up and see what happens.

    Away from this, how do you guys plan and budget for romance stuff?

    We go out for pepper soup and beer dates at least twice a month. Justin pays the bills — which is about ₦12k. He also buys me airtime and data a couple of times. I buy food to cook at his house so we can eat together once a month. That includes his parents and two siblings. I also buy snacks and drinks for his siblings and mum when I visit.

    So far, we only gift each other during special occasions. He bought me a dress for my birthday and gave me ₦30k for my hair and nails on Valentine’s Day. We also visited a restaurant for Valentine’s, and he paid the bill (about ₦50k). Justin’s birthday is in April, and I’m considering buying him headphones or a wireless mouse. My budget is ₦40k.

    Do you have a financial safety net?

    My elder sister is my safety net, but I also have ₦85k in a savings app. If I ever need emergency money, I can always run to her.

    I assume Justin has savings, though he doesn’t talk to me about it. He doesn’t spend anyhow, so I can imagine he’s keeping his money for rainy days. He also once mentioned that we’ll probably have a joint savings account when we get married. We haven’t worked out the details.

    Do you both have a timeline for when this wedding should happen?

    I know his mum wants him to get married at 30. He’s currently 27, so we’re looking at the next three years. 

    Interesting. What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    A future where we both earn well enough to live comfortably and have real estate investments. I hope to get a well-paying job after I finish NYSC later this year so I can save for the next three years and set up a business after we get married. I’m sure Justin will also support me financially when the time comes. I’d like to be a present wife and mother, and entrepreneurship is the only way I can control my time.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

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    NEXT READ: This Salesman Has Been in a Long-Distance Marriage for 10 Years

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    My wife, Uloma, and I have been married for 10 years, but we started dating in 2006. So, we’ve been together for 19 years. 

    How did you both meet?

    We attended the same secondary school. Then, we reconnected during the 2006 census exercise. Movements were restricted, but I was a baseline technician with a telecoms company. 

    My job was to monitor the base station and manually restore the signal if the electricity went off so people still had service. That made me an essential worker, so I had a driver take me and my colleagues to and fro work during that period. 

    One day, the driver didn’t come on time, so I decided to walk. That’s how I passed by Uloma’s house and saw her sitting by the stairs. We were excited to see each other again and started talking regularly. Those were the days of MTN Xtracool. We’d talk all night till 6 a.m. I asked her out some days after, and she accepted. 

    What were the early days of the relationship like?

    Really good. Uloma was in her third year at uni, and I earned ₦48k/month — which was good money — but she never brought any financial burden to me. I appreciated that because I was also saving to pursue a university education. She was modest, and the only thing she asked of me was assurance that I wouldn’t waste her time and we’d end up married.

    I finally got into the university for a part-time program in 2008. By then, she was in her final year, and the pressure intensified. It was clear she wanted us to get married soon or at least get engaged. It scared me, to be honest. I loved her, but I wasn’t financially ready for marriage, and I didn’t see myself depending on anyone for money to provide for my home. 

    I wanted to finish school, work for a few years, and make enough to afford a comfortable life. Granted, I still made at least ₦35k/month working as a personal assistant to a public figure while in school and had up to ₦2m in my savings. But I didn’t think it was enough to start life. Still, I relented, and we got engaged in 2011 while I was still in school. But then another problem came.

    What problem was that?

    Uloma’s elder brother, who lived in the UK, started making plans for her to join him, and Uloma started pressuring me to do a traditional wedding so she wouldn’t go to the UK with empty promises. 

    Even after she travelled in 2012, she wanted me to visit her hometown and perform the traditional rites in her absence, but I wasn’t okay with that. She’d left on a visitor’s visa and couldn’t return until she had the proper documents. What if she stayed there for three more years? At some point, we broke up and got back together after a few months.

    On my own end, I began planning to leave the country for my master’s program. I left for Canada in 2013, and the whole thing cost c$10k (₦3m at the time). I took a loan and relied on an uncle’s goodwill to meet that amount.

    Why not the UK to meet Uloma, though?

    The UK denied my visa. It was Canada that worked out. After my program, I visited Nigeria in 2014. Thankfully, Uloma’s visa was renewed, so she also visited Nigeria, and we finally got married.

    After the wedding, I returned to Canada and applied for another UK visitor visa. They approved it this time, and I got to spend a few weeks with Uloma. But then I got a job with a pharmaceutical company in Germany and had to move again. The salary was €2300/month with free accommodation. It was too good an opportunity to pass up.

    Unfortunately, Uloma couldn’t come with me because of visa restrictions. So, we’ve lived in separate countries since 2014. 

    Ah. Isn’t that hard?

    The good thing about our arrangement is that the distance between our cities is like Lagos and Abuja — a 45-minute flight or a 10-hour drive. The flight costs less than €100, and I can travel to see my family — we have two kids now — every weekend if I want. We visit each other at least twice a month.

    At first, I did all the travelling because my blue card visa allowed me to enter the UK without a visa. But Uloma has been a British citizen since 2019, just like I’m a German citizen, and we can travel to visit each other freely. 

    Who pays for these trips?

    I do, most of the time. Since we got married, I’ve handled most of my wife’s financial needs, including rent. We have a house in the UK now, so I pay the £480/month mortgage. I also pay my €900/month rent here in Germany. 

    My wife works with the NHS and makes less than £3k/month, but she’s been very helpful financially. She takes up most of the bills without even mentioning them to me, especially if they are for our children.

    I don’t have a set allowance I send to her. She just says she needs money for something, and I send it. Most of my income goes to my wife and kids.

    How do you plan for romance stuff while living in different countries?

    We travel for vacations, and I plan these for when the kids are out of school. Germany is a very organised country, and they encourage workers to plan their holiday dates months in advance. By October 2024, I already knew when my holiday would fall in 2025. 

    This helps me plan trips and save on flight costs. I buy tickets in advance and take advantage of holiday packages. Most of our trips cost around €1k. The most expensive trip we’ve taken so far was to Turkey, which cost less than €6k. It cost that much because we stayed in an all-inclusive five-star hotel for a week. 

    Do you both plan to live in the same country someday?

    We’ve actually given each other until the end of the year to decide where to live so we can be together for the kids. I don’t like the UK, and I’d have loved for my wife to come here. But it’d be a struggle for her to learn German. So, it’s either I join my family in the UK or we go to another country together.

    Do you have a safety net for this potential move?

    My wife and I have a joint savings account where we each save a percentage of our income. I try to do €300/month; my wife sometimes does up to £600. We currently have about £29k in that account. But we’re not just saving for the move. When it gets to £100k, we’ll put 50% cash into purchasing another house and take out a mortgage for the remaining 50% balance. Then, we’ll rent out the house and use the income to pay the mortgage.

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    When we start living together, our expenses will reduce. I hope to invest the extra income in starting a business so that I don’t need to be employed by anyone and we can have income flexibility.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: This Social Worker Earning ₦110k/Month Expresses Her Love by Gifting

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    Richard and I have been together for one year. We started dating two days before Valentine’s Day 2024. 

    Wait. How did that happen?

    We met after a series of interesting events. I’d just gotten my job and was on my way home when I realised I’d lost my wallet. I was too shy to ask people for money, so I decided to walk home instead. Richard saw me walking and came up beside me to talk to me.

    I knew it was the normal “Fine girl, how are you?” levels and thought he was cute, but I wasn’t in the mood. So, I tried to brush him off. But fortunately, Richard was persistent. Soon, I was laughing at his jokes and typing my number into his phone. 

    I didn’t tell him about my wallet situation, but he stopped a Marwa (tricycle) and paid for my ride home. It felt like fate. That was on February 8. We started dating on February 12. 

    You’re saying it’s not too late for those looking for love before Valentine’s Day?

    It’s not too late o. Richard and I bonded quickly, or maybe I’m just a lover girl. Richard invited me to his house for a home-cooked dinner on Valentine’s Day, and I actually went. It wasn’t exactly the safest thing to do, but Richard was a perfect gentleman. 

    Since then, we’ve had dinner together at least once every week. It helps us spend time together without breaking the bank. That said, planning for these dinners is tricky because I live with my strict parents, and Richard has a roommate, but we make it work. 

    What kind of money conversations do you both have?

    Pretty much Richard telling me not to spend so much money and me arguing that we only live once. Spending money on the people I love and doing activities together is the best way to create lasting memories. My love language is gift-giving, which involves giving experiences, gifts and money.

    People remember how you made them feel, so I like to go all out. Plus, whether we spend money on our loved ones or not, the money will still finish. 

    But Richard doesn’t exactly see things the same way. He believes in keeping money for the sake of it. To be fair, I earn more than him — he makes ₦80k/month as an admin officer, and I don’t have financial responsibilities, courtesy of my parents. So, I understand why he’s not as open to spending money as I am. I spend enough for both of us anyway.  

    ALSO READ: The Fear of Retrogression Cured Her Spending Problem

    Tell me more about how you show your partner love with gifts

    I don’t wait for special occasions to buy him things. If I see something I think he’ll like, I get them. This usually happens twice a month. I’ve got him clothes, watches, a pair of shoes, and even socks. Sometimes, I send him money randomly — not more than ₦10k at a time, though. For his birthday, I bought him perfumes, a jersey from his football club and a cardigan. It all cost about ₦50k.

    Richard tries to reciprocate. For my birthday, he bought me a dress and skincare products. But the gifts aren’t as frequent as mine. I don’t mind; he shows his love in other ways, like the cute notes he writes to me. Plus, I understand he has to be financially responsible. So, it’s not a big deal that he doesn’t give me money or buy me stuff.

    Do you both have a budget for dates and other romance stuff?

    Not really. We have dinners weekly at Richard’s place, and he cooks the food. Any other activity we participate in happens because I insist on it, and I typically pay for those. The frequency is maybe once every two months. 

    I intend to go all out for Valentine’s Day this year, though. It’s like a double celebration, our anniversary and Valentine’s. I don’t know if Richard has anything planned for our anniversary — he says he wants to surprise me — but I have plans of my own. 

    I’ve given my parents a convincing excuse for the weekend. So, Richard and I can enjoy a two-day staycation in Abuja. We’ll stay in a hotel and visit spots across the city. I estimate it’ll cost ₦300k, and I’ve been saving since October for it.

    It’s the focus and planning for me

    All that’s left is to convince Richard that heaven won’t fall if we spend that much money. I’m sure I’ll get my way.

    How are you both thinking about future plans for your relationship?

    We’ve discussed marriage, but it likely won’t happen for a few years — at least until we’re in better financial shape. Richard wants to get a postgraduate degree, hopefully abroad, to improve his income potential. 

    I need to become proactive about financial planning. My parents are my safety nets right now, but I can’t rely on them forever, so I’ll need to grow up soon. Maybe after this, I’ll sit down and draw up a budget for my expenses so I can start saving gradually.

    So, yeah, there’s a lot for both of us to figure out before settling down. But we’re definitely in it together for the long haul. 

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    I want us to grow our finances so that Richard doesn’t have to worry so much about keeping money and can enjoy himself.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: This Lagos Photographer Isn’t Built for an Indefinite Long-Distance Relationship

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    We started dating in 2021, so just over three years. However, I’ve known Patricia since 2019, when she first joined my department at church.

    How did you both go from church workers to lovers?

    I think it was just a thing where the longer you spend with someone, the more you start to see who they are on the inside and decide whether you like what you see. 

    Patricia and I were on the media team at church, so we were always together. We clicked easily and mostly communicated as friends in the beginning. But I realised I liked her during the COVID lockdown in 2020. 

    I didn’t know how to deal with not seeing her every week, and I was counting down the days until church activities would likely resume. We still communicated during that period, but it was not the same. I missed her so much my heart ached.

    God, when?

    I still didn’t tell Patricia how I felt when church resumed — I was scared of rejection — until our New Year crossover service. She asked me to give her time to pray about it. After two weeks, she accepted but said she wanted us to take our pastor along. 

    We both met the pastor, and the man called me aside to ask if I was serious with my life. He said, “You just finished university. Do you even have a job? Do you plan to marry anytime soon? Why are you pursuing a relationship?” 

    They were valid questions, but the way he directly asked them made me feel dumb. I mean, I hadn’t thought that far, but even though.

    I’m screaming. But did you have any source of income at that time?

    I was still new to photography but often made between ₦50k – ₦80k/month as a photography assistant. I think our pastor was worried that I didn’t have a stable 9-5. 

    Plus, Patricia was in her final year and sold doughnuts in church to support herself. I guess we just seemed like young people who were still figuring out life and didn’t need to add romance to the picture.

    Our pastor didn’t outrightly say we should break up, but we got that vibe from him. So, we left the church in 2022. Patricia was posted to a different state for NYSC, and we used the opportunity that she wasn’t around to withdraw from the church.

    How did you both manage dating long-distance? 

    We had to navigate communication issues and the financial implications. We couldn’t make many WhatsApp calls because Patricia was posted to a rural area with terrible network service. So, we had to make regular phone calls, which was expensive. I’d recharge ₦400, and the whole thing would finish in about five minutes. 

    I preferred texting, but Patricia liked long calls. She’d often complain that I didn’t miss hearing her voice. If I argued that spending up to ₦2k/week on airtime wasn’t reasonable, she’d imply I didn’t think she was worth that amount. We fought about that a few times.

    We also tried to visit each other once every month, and I mostly paid for that. If Patricia had to come over, I’d pay for her ₦20k transport fare. When I visited her, I also handled my own ₦20k fare. Fortunately, I gradually made more from photography, so ₦20k/month wasn’t that bad. Also, Patricia cooked when we were together, so restaurants weren’t taking my money. But I handled all the expenses when we needed to go out for anything.

    The NYSC period was merely a trial version to prepare us for the real thing. Patricia got a scholarship and relocated to the UK for her master’s degree in 2024, and the distance has grown even further.

    Oh wow. What’s that like?

    It’s really hard, to be honest. At least, during NYSC, we had hope that we’d see each other within weeks. But now, I can’t tell exactly when that will happen. She likely won’t return home even after completing her degree. It makes sense to find a job and settle before considering visiting Nigeria. 

    I’m not rich enough to consider getting a visitor’s visa and travelling to see her. I’d also like to japa one day, but there’s no clear path for it at the moment. Our relationship’s future is very hazy right now. We’re just avoiding addressing it because it might mean considering a breakup. 

    Marriage might solve the visa and distance, but we’re too young to marry. Also, I don’t want to enter marriage for the wrong reasons. We’ll just take each day at a time and see how it goes. 

    How do you plan for romance stuff, considering the distance?

    The time difference between Nigeria and the UK is just an hour, so finding time to talk is not difficult. We call each other on WhatsApp at different times of the day and gist about what we’re doing.

    For my birthday in October, Patricia gave my younger sister money to buy me a pair of shoes and perfume. I thought it was really sweet. Patricia’s birthday comes up in February, and I’ve been saving ₦50k monthly since November to buy her something. I don’t know what yet, but my budget is ₦300k. That’s about 150 pounds, so I hope it’s enough for something reasonable. I’ll send the money to her schoolmate, who will buy the gift and deliver it to her.  

    Patricia will probably blow a gasket if she finds out how much I plan to spend, but she’ll be alright. She doesn’t want me to buy her a gift. She says it’d cost too much to use naira to buy something in the UK. But I don’t think I can just let her birthday pass without doing anything.

    Speaking of, what kind of money conversations do you both have?

    Patricia is the saver in the relationship. Before she relocated, she had an expense sheet she sent me every week and ensured I filled it. Then, she’d go over my expenses and lecture me on what I spent too much on or shouldn’t have bought.

    I appreciated it because it helped me make better financial decisions. Since I don’t receive a salary, it’s easy for me to blow what money comes my way, reasoning that I’ll make more when the next client pays up. So, tracking my spending was helpful. 

    I didn’t always like it, though. I don’t like having to explain myself, but I had to do it to avoid a fight. Thankfully, she’s stopped the weekly policing of my spending since she relocated. I also save now without being prompted, so win-win.

    I know the future is hazy right now, but have you considered how much longer you can both handle dating long-distance?

    If we fail to find a clear path to bridging the distance by the end of the year, we’ll most likely break up. I don’t mean we have to be in the same city in a year, I just expect we’d already know what clear steps to take by then. If not, there’s no point wasting anyone’s time.

    You sound like your mind’s made up

    I’m a realistic person, so I’m preparing for whatever outcome. I love her, and I’ll do my best to be loyal while we’re together. But I can’t be in a long-distance relationship indefinitely. Lately, she’s been insinuating that I’ve found another babe here. That accusation came out of the blue. I don’t think there was any change on my part that led to that. 

    I can only assume that some other guy is entering the picture, and her guilt is driving that accusation. I don’t know for sure, and I try not to dwell on that. I hope that’s not the case. But we need to find a solution to the distance soon.

    Hopefully. What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    I think it’s pretty obvious. It’d be great if I was rich enough to japa too so we’d be together.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: This Product Manager Is Experiencing Breadwinner Burnout

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    About one and a half years. My wife, Josephine, and I hit our first wedding anniversary in December 2024. We dated for five months before we got married.

    How did you meet Josephine?

    We first met at our NYSC orientation camp in 2020. I asked her out, but she had a boyfriend, so we just exchanged numbers and chatted occasionally. I accepted that I’d been friend-zoned and didn’t ask her about her relationship status again.

    Then, we met again at work in 2023. I was the new hire, but Josephine had been there for a while. We were both surprised to see each other and began talking more regularly. We also often hung out at work and had lunch together. 

    About two months after we reconnected, Josephine jokingly asked if my girlfriend wouldn’t be annoyed that we talked so much. I said I was single, and she asked, “So why won’t you ask me out?” I was like, “Shebi you had a boyfriend?” 

    In summary, she’d been broken up with the guy for years, so we started dating.

    What was dating a coworker like?

    We didn’t tell our coworkers because we weren’t sure if there was a policy against it  —there wasn’t. But spending so much time with my girlfriend was definitely a plus. We’d hang out at work, then get food after office hours and end up in either her house or mine.

    I think it also helped that we knew each other’s salary. I earned ₦100k, and Josephine earned ₦120k, so there were no unrealistic expectations of going to restaurant dates every week or buying expensive gifts. 

    Our first date was at the cinema, and we even shared the bill. I bought the ₦7k tickets and paid about ₦15k for the cabs, while Josephine bought the popcorn and drinks. We didn’t even talk about splitting the bills beforehand. She just offered. I think that was the moment I knew I’d marry her, and I proposed two months later.

    Sharp sharp?

    I didn’t see any point in delaying. Plus, Josephine and I had talked about marriage. We weren’t fans of long dating. If you already love the person, why wait for years and years?

    Also, a few weeks earlier, I’d gotten another remote job—a ₦350k/month product management role at a fintech company, bringing my income sources to two. I felt ready to get married. Josephine also had a job, and our combined incomes would be enough to support our home.

    Did you already discuss combining your finances?

    Something like that. We’d had reasons to discuss traditional expectations in marriage versus what we wanted in our relationship, and Josephine had said she didn’t subscribe to the man being the sole provider. She made it clear that she wouldn’t be a stay-at-home wife. She’d work and also contribute to the home. I didn’t see any point in discussing a contribution percentage. I believe the man should provide more; if the wife needs to support him, she’ll step in. Plus, we were transparent with our finances, so I didn’t expect money to be a problem.

    These were my convictions when I proposed in August 2023. She said yes, and we got married in December. We got a lot of financial support from our family and friends. We also combined our savings to rent a ₦700k/year two-bedroom apartment in Mowe, Ogun state. We chose Mowe because it was cheaper than most places in Lagos. 

    What has marriage been like?

    Harder than expected. I’ve been the sole breadwinner since April 2024. Josephine got pregnant almost immediately we got married, and it was a tough pregnancy. She managed to work for the first three months. But by April, she had to be placed on bed rest, so she resigned. 

    My remote job had increased my salary to ₦450k when this happened, so I also resigned from the other job. It had become too stressful commuting from Mowe to Lagos mainland. Plus, I needed to be available to assist Josephine.

    Hospital bills drained my salary during that period. At some point, Josephine observed bed rest at home, but she started bleeding, so the hospital admitted her. We practically lived in the hospital for the remaining four months of that pregnancy. I was just hearing, “Pay ₦50k for this, bring ₦80k for that.” I can’t even calculate how much I spent because I’ll just develop a headache.

    Sigh. Sorry you went through that 

    We even had to borrow ₦200k from family members to settle the bill after we had the baby in September. I could only buy baby things in small quantities when I received my salary because I couldn’t afford everything at once. It’s been really hard.

    As if I didn’t have enough problems, Josephine initially couldn’t produce enough milk to breastfeed. In the first month, I spent almost ₦100k on baby formula. Thankfully, Josephine started producing milk after a few months, but I was overwhelmed by how expensive and mentally draining childcare was.

    Sometimes, I’d think about all the expenses in front of me, lock myself in the toilet, and cry. I couldn’t tell my wife because she was also recovering from a traumatic pregnancy and caring for an infant. Omo, we went through it. Now, I advise anyone who has ears not to try to have children until they’re very sure they can handle it financially and emotionally.

    Word. With your baby and limited finances, do you both even have time for romance stuff?

    Was it not romance that got us into this mess? Honestly, we haven’t had any time for each other. Our baby is almost four months old now, so she sleeps a bit more at night, and we try to use the quiet time to talk or watch movies. But that’s not often because we’re almost always tired to do anything.

    Josephine has been stylishly hinting that we buy pizza occasionally for indoor dates like we used to do, but her requests often irritate me. I bring out money for every single thing we need, even down to matches, and she wants pizza. I know she means no harm, but it’s a bit insensitive. 

    In December, I had to borrow ₦300k from a loan app to make rent, and I’ve been repaying from a salary that isn’t even enough. I’m exhausted all the time, and I’m even scared to check my blood pressure because I know it’ll be high. I’m sick and tired of being the primary breadwinner, and I’m counting the days until Josephine can work again.

    Have you both agreed on when that’ll be?

    I hope it’s when our baby turns seven or eight months old. I’ve brought it up with Josephine, but she is set on getting a remote job so she can be with the baby. I don’t have issues with that because I also don’t think I can care for the baby while working. 

    But I’m scared that her search for a remote job may take too long. I just need help as soon as possible. I told her this, but she made it seem like I didn’t believe in her. So, I’ll just quietly hope she finds a job as soon as she starts searching.

    What kind of conversations do you both have around money now?

    Right now, it’s about how much money she needs from me to buy diapers or medicine. This January, we discussed the need to save at least ₦50k/month for rent so we don’t run helter-skelter when it’s due. It will be hard to be consistent, but we’ll have to try our best. Hopefully, Josephine also gets a job this year so we can improve our finances and possibly look at saving for things we need, like a washing machine.

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    I just want both of us to have good incomes so the load on my shoulders can be reduced.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: The Hairdresser in a Long-Distance Marriage on a ₦25k/Month Income

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    November 2024 made it exactly five years that Bolaji and I have been married. 

    How did you meet your husband?

    I’ve always known Bolaji. We grew up in the same neighbourhood in Sagamu. We weren’t really friends, though; I just saw him around, and we casually greeted each other. I stopped running into him after he left for uni because he schooled in Lagos, and I attended a polytechnic in Ogun state.  

    In 2019, Bolaji lost his grandmother, and he and the rest of his family returned to Sagamu for the burial. I attended the burial too, and Bolaji and I started talking. He stayed in town for about a week, and I kept him company. We got really close during that period. I even visited him in Lagos after he went back. 

    Almost every weekend, I was in Bolaji’s house. I found out I was pregnant two months after we reconnected.

    Oh. How did you both feel about that?

    It was definitely unexpected. I think Bolaji even had a main girlfriend — I saw his chat history with the girl months later — but he wasn’t upset when I told him about the pregnancy. 

    I was nervous, but I wasn’t scared. Children are a blessing, and although my only income was ₦15k, which I made from teaching, I was ready to provide for my child whether Bolaji accepted the baby or not. Thankfully, he didn’t deny responsibility.

    We told our parents, and they suggested we get married. We weren’t forced to marry, though. Bolaji and I liked each other and would’ve gotten married regardless. The pregnancy just sped things up. It also helped that our parents knew each other and were friends, so it was a smooth decision. Five months later, we had a court wedding and a traditional ceremony. Our parents took care of most of the wedding expenses.

    What were you and Bolaji’s financial situation like?

    Bolaji worked for a health maintenance organisation and made ₦120k/month. After we married, I moved to Lagos to join him, so I quit my job at the school.

    Things were hard for us in the first few years. I thought I’d get a job in Lagos to support the home after our child came. But COVID happened, and there were no jobs. Even Bolaji’s salary was cut to ₦70k for six months due to the lockdown. On some days, we’d soak garri for dinner. Imagine soaking garri as a breastfeeding mum. I also often had to ask my dad for urgent ₦2k. It was tough.

    How did the state of your finances impact your relationship?

    Interestingly, money wasn’t the main subject of our fights. Our arguments were about our personality differences. We didn’t really know each other before marriage, so it took a while to get used to each other’s ways of doing things. He had weird habits like not brushing all day if he was at home and turning off all the lights, even if someone was in the room. It was annoying, and we argued a lot.

    When we argued about money, it was because I asked him for it. I only asked for money when our child needed something, but it almost always led to an issue. Most times, Bolaji would lose his temper and accuse me of not being understanding. Once, I took our child and angrily left the house when Bolaji implied that I had brought him bad luck. 

    Hmmm

    Our relationship was rocky for most of 2021 and 2022. To be honest, I often wished I never even married him. Maybe I’d been in too much of a hurry, and I didn’t think through what marriage meant. 

    To make matters worse, I got pregnant again in 2021. I didn’t tell Bolaji till I was six months gone because I worried he’d ask me to abort the baby. When I eventually told him, he just shook his head and said, “congratulations.”

    Thankfully, things got better towards the end of 2022. Bolaji got a job that paid ₦300k/month, and he opened a salon for me. I learnt hairdressing in school, so the salon helped with extra income. By that, I mean I had extra cash to spend besides the ₦80k/month Bolaji gave me for the house. He didn’t worry himself with how much I made from my salon. Anything I bought with my money was my own decision. 

    That’s one of Bolaji’s good sides. He takes providing for his family seriously, and he believes it’s his responsibility to handle everything. He’s also very transparent with how much money he has. It’s why I understand why he can no longer provide as much since he relocated to the UK.

    Why and when did he relocate to the UK?

    He’s always wanted to japa. Bolaji has cousins in the UK, and we knew japa could happen one day. He’d actually applied to visit years before, but his visa wasn’t approved. In 2023, his cousin advised him to apply via the study route, so he did that and got admission. He also got a partial scholarship. We sold our fridge and washing machine and gathered money from our family to cover the rest of the tuition and flight costs. 

    Bolaji is currently studying for a postgraduate degree in the UK. He left in August 2024, and we hope he can transition to working in the UK when he’s done. Then, we can consider having me and the kids join him. 

    He’s just trying to survive right now. He only started sending us £30 monthly in November. That’s about ₦60k, which is really small, but I understand that he has to sort school and living expenses. I support our home with the little I make from hairdressing. I’m currently back in my dad’s house in Sagamu with my children — we moved after Bolaji left to cut out rent expenses — and business isn’t as profitable as it was in Lagos. I’m also back to relying on the goodness of my family for things like clothes and the occasional loans. But we’re surviving. 

    So, you’re navigating a long-distance marriage now. What’s that like?

    We keep in touch with video calls and texts, but it’s difficult. Bolaji is almost always busy, and the children also want to talk to him when he’s available. I sometimes feel like we never have time to talk alone, like lovers. 

    I’ve complained about this a few times, and he told me to be patient. Sometimes, he sends me sweet messages and tries to convince me that we won’t be apart for long. Last week, he sent his sister to surprise me with barbecued fish. He’s also promised to make time for us to have a long call on Valentine’s Day. So, the distance is hard, but Bolaji is trying his best to be there for me, which I’m grateful for. 

    That’s sweet. Do you both have a safety net for your future japa plans?

    We both have land given to us by our parents, so we’ll probably sell them when it’s time for me to meet him. We also hope he gets a care job soon—we heard it pays better—so he can start saving. 

    I can’t get a 9-5 job because of the children, so I’ve been trying to get a government job with the help of family members. A government job will give me time to make hair as a side hustle. My husband and I have already agreed that he’ll stop sending me money if I get the job. That way, he will have more savings, and we can fast-track my relocation.

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    I just want us to be able to afford to be together as a family again. I’d also like for us to be homeowners in the UK one day. 

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: The Lagos Freelancer Teaching Her Boyfriend Financial Discipline

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    I’ve been with my boyfriend, David, for a little over a year. We met in November 2023. 

    Tell me more about how you met

    A mutual friend, who worked with David, set us up on a blind date. They were like, “Oh, I have a friend you should meet.” I had nothing to lose, so I accepted the invitation. David and I exchanged Instagram handles, had conversations for about a week, and met up for an ice cream date.

    Interestingly, I didn’t even know what he looked like. He’d seen my pictures on my Instagram, but his profile was empty. So, I saw him for the first time during our date. 

    Ermm. Weren’t you scared?

    The thing is, I don’t like asking men for their photos — they are often terrible and don’t do them justice, so it’s better to see them in person. When I saw David, I thought, “Thank God. He’s not ugly.” 

    It was a good first date, even though I arrived an hour late because I had the wrong directions. We had a good conversation, and I let my guard down. I didn’t want to get my hopes up before I met him. But after our conversation, I decided to be more open.

    We went on a second date the following week, then he asked me to be his girlfriend. I liked him, but I told him to calm down. I thought it was too early to take that step because we’d only been talking for three weeks. To be fair, we’d discussed some important topics even before our second date. But I wanted us to know each other for at least a month before starting an official relationship.

    I’m curious about the kind of topics you discussed

    One was our finances. David said, “Let’s just be honest and tell each other how much we earn.” This was new to me because I didn’t discuss my earnings with previous partners. I also didn’t ask them. But I saw he really wanted to be open in that aspect, so I told him exactly how much I earned, and he did the same.

    At the time, I earned ₦150k – ₦200k as a freelance social media manager. He’s a tech bro and made about ₦400k/month. We started dating a month later. This was in December 2023. 

    How has the relationship been so far?

    It’s been really good. I’ve never been in a relationship with this kind of openness before. David and I share everything. 

    When we argue, it’s mostly due to our different approaches to things. I want to address an issue immediately and get it over with, but he prefers to bring things up later. When he does that, I often feel blindsided. Like, you were pretending everything was alright while you had this thing on your mind? 

    This was a source of friction. I thought I was a chill person until we started dating. So, it surprised me how intense I could get in arguments. I’d have to physically stop myself to ask, “Why am I so angry?” But we’re adjusting better now. Sometimes, we just laugh at each other during arguments. Like, why are we acting like this?

    Our different spending habits have also been subjects of these arguments. 

    How so?

    I’m always like, “You shouldn’t be spending money this way.”

    I’m the saver in the relationship. I grew up with a “need to save” mindset, and it worried me that David had zero savings even though he earned so much money. Who does that? 

    So, I raised that with him a few times, and he’s seen the light. Now, he saves 40% of his monthly income with me and thinks twice about his spending. 

    At the moment, David works for a foreign company and earns £3k/month (about ₦6m), and 40% of that is about ₦2m. There’s another £300 he sends to me monthly.

    I know people might think it’s crazy that he keeps his money with me, but no one should worry. I won’t run away with his money. 

    I’m screaming. Is the £300 a girlfriend allowance?

    Something like that. This is how it started: During my NYSC in February 2024, I found a Place of Primary Assignment (PPA) that would pay me ₦60k/month. When I told David about it, he thought I didn’t need it. My remote freelance job guaranteed up to ₦200k/month. The ₦60k job was on Lagos Island, but I live on the mainland, and commuting was going to be stressful and expensive. 

    I reasoned I should just try the 9-5 life, but David insisted that he didn’t think I should do it because of the stress. So, I joked that I’d quit if he paid me ₦500k/month. Two months later, he got his current role and brought up the joke. 

    I didn’t quit, though. I didn’t want a situation where someone controlled my decisions because of money. I stuck with the job for another three months before I decided the 9-5 life wasn’t for me. After I left, he started sending me £300 every month. This has happened for six months now.

    You mentioned he saves his money with you. Is it toward a particular goal?

    A safety net. We just want to have something saved for when we need it. For example, he used his savings to buy a ₦5m car and move into a ₦1.9m apartment in 2024. Then, some more money to furnish and set up the place. All these were possible because of the safety net.

    I have my own savings, too. Sometimes, I use it for our dates or joint expenses. My housewarming gift to him was most of the equipment in his kitchen, and the whole set cost me almost ₦400k.

    What’s your financial situation like right now?

    On average, I make around ₦450k – ₦500k/month, depending on how many gigs I get. From this, I save at least ₦100k. 

    I haven’t touched the £300 allowance David sends me monthly and haven’t even converted it. I’m keeping it as rent money. I currently live with family members, but I’ll probably get my own place in March, so it will come in handy. 

    I’m sure that if I had been saving for rent from my income, I wouldn’t have the same level of financial freedom I enjoy now. Because I have this safety net, I can comfortably shop and eat what I want without overthinking expenses. I’m grateful for that.

    Do you both have a monthly budget for romance stuff and dates?

    We spend about ₦100k on dates and do this at least once a month. Other times, we stay indoors and order food, which costs anything between ₦20k and ₦30k.

    David pays for these dates. From his salary, we decided that ₦1m is for him to spend on whatever he wants, and the money for dates comes from there. On the rare occasion that he finishes the ₦1m, I send him like ₦100k. That said, I also ask him for money if I’ve spent more than I planned for and only have my savings left. We try not to dip into our savings at all. If we do, we always return what we take.

    How about gifts?

    We often exchange random gifts, and don’t wait till special occasions. I get him jerseys and clothes. Sometimes, I just send him money. The most expensive gift he’s bought for me was my iPhone 14 Pro last year. It cost ₦1.5m, so that was massive. 

    How are you both thinking about future plans for your relationship?

    I’m definitely team japa, but David doesn’t want to leave unless he has solid options abroad. I understand him — £3k can’t do much outside Nigeria. Even in Nigeria, £3k should make him super comfortable, but it doesn’t. In the long term, we’ll definitely leave because this country won’t get better.

    For now, we’re just focusing on our relationship and trying not to let the pressures of adulting and work affect us. We also plan to go on vacation by the end of the year.

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    I want to earn millions so I can match his energy, and we won’t have to think deeply when we want to go on vacation. Let it be that we both worked hard for our money and can afford to rest. I’d also like a future where we can afford to live in nicer places, and we don’t spend all the money we make just living day to day.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: This Osogbo Teacher Doesn’t Need Her Husband to Be the Sole Provider

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    I’ve been married to my husband for 10 years, and we’ve been together for 12.

    How did you both meet?

    Funny story. Akin was in a relationship with one of my old classmates, and we met when he accompanied her to my school’s alumni reunion in 2012. The lady abandoned him to flirt with another former classmate, so Akin angrily left. The whole drama played out in front of almost everyone at the reunion, and I remember feeling so embarrassed for him.

    A few days later, I saw his Facebook profile and impulsively sent a friend request. He accepted almost immediately and sent me a message. He remembered me from the reunion, and we joked about how his babe left him for another guy. About three months after we started chatting, we met up, and love entered the picture. I moved in with him a month after we started dating.

    So fast?

    Akin was the first boyfriend I ever co-habited with, and I don’t even know where the confidence came from. My landlord had just increased my rent from ₦66k to ₦120k, and there was no way I’d pay that amount for a tiny face-me-I-face-you room. The initial plan was to find another apartment my ₦35k receptionist salary could afford, but househunting took a lot of time.

    Akin didn’t want me to rush into getting an apartment that’d turn out worse, so he asked me to move in while I searched. I never thought I could co-habit with a lover because all you ever hear is that men take advantage of free bumbum and cooking. 

    But I asked myself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” At 28 years old, I wasn’t a small girl. If I became uncomfortable with the situation, I could just leave. So, I stayed, and it turned out well. 

    What was co-habiting like?

    It was pretty smooth. Akin and I worked well together and shared everything from finances to chores. When I told my friends I paid for foodstuff and handled bills around the house, they thought I was stupid. Like what woman lives with a man who isn’t her husband and pays for things? But I didn’t see it as a big deal.

    Did you both share the bills and expenses equally?

    Not at all. It wasn’t like he asked me to bring money for anything — he worked in a bank and earned way more than me — we just liked to spend on each other. 

    I could buy foodstuff on my way home from work, and he would do the same the next day. If NEPA bill met me at home, I would just pay it. That’s how we did it. Akin paid the rent, though.

    When we got married in 2014, we still approached our finances the same way. That said, we’ve had to make several changes over the years.

    What kind of changes?

    Between 2014 and 2017, Akin was the sole provider. I had our children and couldn’t juggle motherhood with a job. 

    However, he lost his bank job in 2017 and started a tiles business, which meant we were no longer sure of a specific amount coming in monthly. So, I looked for a job to support the family.

    I got a teaching job with the federal government through a family friend, and my first salary was around ₦80k. Once I received my salary, I’d take ₦15k out for transport and sit down with Akin to plan how to spend the rest. On his own part, he sent his weekly profits to me to hide in a separate account for our rent. 

    It probably sounds like we were so in sync, but we occasionally fought about money.

    What were the fights about?

    First, they were mostly due to financial pressure. I felt like I couldn’t even dictate how to spend my hard-earned money because he kept tabs on my salary. When I felt like that, I complained, and it almost always led to arguments.

    Sometimes, Akin also kept profits to himself and would go weeks without giving me any money to keep. Whenever I noticed that, I complained, and he’d argue that he also wanted to hold money in his hands and spend without having to explain to me. 

    At that point, I’d go, “Ehen? But you know exactly how much I earn and help me spend it right?”

    So, yes, we fought about money a lot. But after the flare of emotions had died, we’d talk about it and understand it was normal for both of us to feel that way. It’s normal for us each to want to dictate how we spend our own money. But ultimately, we had to put family first and combine our resources for our children. When money fights happen now — which isn’t often — we try to remember that.

    Glad it’s working out. What are your finances like these days?

    Numbers-wise, we earn more, but I don’t think it shows in our standard of living. In a good month, Akin can make like ₦200k from his business. I now earn ₦128k, bringing our total average monthly income to ₦300k+, but we still struggle a lot.

    Our house rent is ₦650k, and I save at least ₦50k monthly for that. The remaining ₦78k can’t feed my family for three weeks, and there are still small expenses like children’s clothes, medication and the rest. 

    Akin still keeps money with me, but now we use that to handle school fees and major expenses. For example, we bought a washing machine for ₦180k in 2024. Everything else he makes goes into daily expenses like transportation, feeding, utility bills, fuel and sending money to our families.

    Do you both have a relationship budget for dates and romance stuff?

    Romance ke? Haha. We don’t o. Sometimes, my husband buys me suya when I disturb him about no longer putting effort into toasting me. We also take the children to cinemas and eateries during festive occasions. On my last birthday, he bought me a bag and a pair of shoes. I also bought him shoes for his birthday.

    I don’t mind that we don’t always buy each other things or go out. I know how difficult things are, so it won’t be reasonable for me to ask. My husband is kind to me and helps me with everything. 

    Before we got the washing machine, Akin did all the laundry by hand. He’s a good man, so I understand our situation. I don’t mind spending all my money to make our lives easier. That “the man must provide everything” story doesn’t apply in my home. 

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    My husband and I always talk about owning our home one day. If big money hits our hands, we’ll just erect a building of two or four flats so we can live in one flat and rent out the others for passive income. That would solve more than half of our problems.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: This Social Media Manager Wants Her Close-Fisted Boyfriend to Change or Risk Losing Her

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