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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    My wife, Rhoda, and I have been together for six years and married for four.

    How did you meet?

    Through a mutual friend. I needed a tailor to sew some outfits for a family event, and I remembered my friend who always looked sharp in native attire. So, I asked for his tailor’s details, and it turned out to be Rhoda. 

    The first thing I noticed was how pretty she was. Also, she seemed really hardworking. I went to her studio to give her the materials, and the place was filled with apprentices, with customers dropping in at intervals. I love seeing young people do really good work, and besides her beauty, that was another thing I admired about Rhoda. 

    I didn’t fall in love on the spot, but there was definitely fascination at first sight. Even when she delayed my outfits and gave multiple excuses like Nigerian tailors usually do, I didn’t get angry (laughs). 

    So, how did you move from a working relationship to a romantic one?

    After I got my outfits, I kept chatting her up at intervals. At first, she wasn’t the most responsive. But she must’ve noticed I was trying to get close because she eventually started responding regularly. 

    We talked for almost a month before we went on our first date at a restaurant I’d been meaning to check out. I spent about ₦35k on food and transportation for that date. That’s where I popped the question: Will you be my girlfriend? She said yes.

    That’s sweet. What were your finances like at the time?

    I’d just gotten my first official job, earning ₦100k/month and squatting with my brother to save on rent expenses. 

    Rhoda and I didn’t really talk about each other’s finances while we were dating, but I’m sure she made more money than I did. Her business was quite successful, and she even bailed me out with the odd ₦10k once in a while when I went broke before salary day. 

    Also, after we got engaged, she often visited me at my brother’s house to cook for me out of her own pocket. So, while we didn’t actually sit down to track how much either of us was making, we had this unspoken agreement that we’d do nice things for each other whenever we had money. For instance, Rhoda hasn’t paid for internet ever since we got together, because I always buy her data. She also buys me stuff, so it’s vice versa.

    The first time we made a specific effort to discuss our expenses was during our 2021 wedding planning. 

    What did you both agree on?

    We agreed that it wasn’t realistic for me to handle all the expenses. I think my salary at the time was just under ₦200k/month, with a few side hustles bringing in extra money here and there. 

    So, we agreed that I’d handle bills like the hall and photography, while Rhoda would handle the outfits and her makeup. Our parents chipped in to help with food, hall decoration and other small expenses. It wasn’t a big over-the-top wedding. We just did what we could afford. I’m not sure our total expenses reached ₦2m.

    What’s the financial dynamic like now that you’re married? Do you still split bills?

    Yes, we split bills. However, I can’t say we’ve settled on an approach that works for us. I think this is because we didn’t clearly share our financial expectations with each other before marriage.

    I believe that my money is our money, and my wife’s money should be ours too. When one person brings out money to pay house rent or buy food, it’s not a case of “I paid the rent,” it’s all our money. So whether it comes from my wife or me, we should use it together for the good of our home.

    However, Rhoda can be particular about her money. She believes I should take on the bulk of the expenses, so whenever she has to pay for something, she complains or acts like she’s shouldering my responsibility.

    It’s strange because she didn’t give me this impression of her when we were dating. Or maybe I didn’t notice because we didn’t have shared expenses. 

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    Hmm. Does this cause friction between the two of you?

    At first, we fought a lot about it. I’m a salary earner, so it’s inevitable that I’ll be broke before salary day. 

    So, what usually happened was that I’d spend all my money on transportation and household expenses. When it finished, I’d ask her to support my transportation and pick up the rest of the bills.

    I didn’t know she found that uncomfortable. To her, it was as if I was forcing her into a breadwinner role and collecting her money. So, she’d complain about it, and that didn’t go down well with me. It felt like she was saying she didn’t want to contribute at all. As a result, we fought a lot about money in the first two to three years of our marriage. We even saw counsellors in church.

    We’re better now, but it’s not necessarily because Rhoda has changed; I’m just learning to live with it. She now covers most of the food expenses, while I handle the rest. Despite that, she often complains about how expensive things have become, but I just try to ignore her. Sometimes, I support the food expenses. Other times, I simply tell her to manage what we have. If there’s no money, we can drink garri.

    Do you both know what the other earns now?

    My wife knows how much I earn. She also knows that I regularly take on side hustles to cover expenses, but we don’t really discuss how much I earn from side gigs because the amount is not a constant figure.

    My wife doesn’t work a salaried job, and I don’t track everything that enters her account, so I can’t say this exact figure is her monthly income. However, since we’ve been taking our money issues to counsellors, she’s been trying to be open about her income. She can just say, “A client paid me ₦50k today, so I used it to buy chicken” or something like that.  

    I still think she isn’t pulling her weight, though. I mean, she helps, but I don’t think she’s contributing fairly. I work multiple jobs to earn around ₦600k monthly, but we’re not living a good life. It’s even more difficult because we have a child. I believe we’d be more comfortable if my wife were more open to pooling resources, but raising matters like this often leads to long talk, so I just let it be. 

    Interesting. Do you both have safety nets?

    It’s mostly for rent. Our rent costs ₦800k/year, and I save ₦50k monthly, while Rhoda pitches in whenever she has extra money to make up the full amount. I also have a different ₦50k/month savings for emergencies. I have a little under ₦800k in the emergency fund.

    Over the years, we’ve had to take loans for major projects. For instance, in 2022, we took a ₦1m loan to set up our solar electricity system and inverter. I don’t think I’ll do that again anytime soon. Since I couldn’t manage to save and repay the loan at the same time, I asked Rhoda to fund part of the monthly repayment — we were paying around ₦100k/month, so she was bringing ₦65k. I know the complaints I got from her during that period. It’s like, you’re also enjoying this thing, but you want me to carry all or most of the financial burden because I’m the man. That’s not realistic. 

    I just hope things will continue to improve and we’ll understand each other better as we spend more time together.

    How do dates and gifts work in your relationship?

    Dates are usually limited to birthdays and anniversaries. If it’s my birthday, my wife takes me out and handles the bills and vice versa. I usually handle the bills for anniversary dates, but we buy each other gifts. For our last anniversary, Rhoda bought me a pair of shoes, and I bought her a jewellery set for ₦20k.

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    I’d just like us to be a true unit when it comes to finances one day. I think it’s only then that we can have big dreams, such as owning our own house or relocating in the future.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: He Tries His Best, but I Often Feel Financially Stressed

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    My husband, David, and I have been married for five years. We met in 2020 and married that same year.

    How did that happen?

    I’d just started my service year in Ekiti when the COVID lockdown happened. My parents live in Delta, which is quite a distance from Ekiti. I thought the lockdown would end quickly, so I stayed back, believing it would be a waste of money to go home. 

    At that point, I was already a member of David’s father’s church, and the church helped corps members who didn’t want to go home find accommodation with church members. I stayed with a lady who lived close to David’s house, and almost every day, he would visit me, bearing food. 

    According to David, he didn’t do that because he liked me. He’s just a giver who tries to help as many people as possible around him. However, we began to learn more about each other during these daily visits, and he felt that God had told him I would be his wife. When he told me this, we’d only known each other for two weeks.

    What was your reaction?

    I was surprised, but I prayed about it and got confirmation from God that he was the one. I initially didn’t even want to pray about his proposal. He was a pastor in his father’s church, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to be a pastor’s wife. 

    I’ve always heard about the sacrifices it takes to marry a pastor. He wouldn’t likely make a lot of money, and I had to accept that he’d divide his time between his home and the church. I’d also need to be a “role model” for women in the church, and have a big heart to mentor people and listen to their problems. It just felt like such a big role that I wasn’t prepared for. 

    Additionally, I always had a mental picture of myself working for about two years and earning money before settling down. Yet, I was jobless, without any financial safety net, and God was telling me to get married. It felt like He was carrying all my plans and throwing them away to make way for His own.

    However, I felt peace after praying and getting confirmation. I also shared my worries with his mum, and she gave me helpful advice and encouragement for the journey ahead. She helped me understand that God’s grace was available to support the responsibility He was placing on me, and I only needed to seek His help continually. 

    So, I accepted David’s proposal, and we got married five months later.

    What were finances like, considering you didn’t have a job and he was a pastor?

    We lived on the goodwill of people for the first two years of our marriage. David’s dad used to give him a ₦30k salary, but even with the most extreme managing, the money only lasted us about three weeks. 

    To make things worse, I got pregnant immediately after the wedding and had high blood pressure throughout the pregnancy and for some months after delivery, so I couldn’t work. Thankfully, we never went hungry. David’s parents and other church members often gave us foodstuff.

    Things started to get better in 2023. I got my current job, which pays me ₦85k, and I started pitching in with living expenses. Sadly, David’s dad passed away in 2024, so he’s now the head pastor. The promotion came with a higher salary — ₦70k/month. We have two kids now, so our combined salary is still quite low, but God keeps providing for us.

    What kind of money conversations do you have with your husband?

    It’s mostly about what needs to be done or bought at home. We treat our finances like a joint system; whenever the other person gets money, we bring it to do what needs to be done. 

    That’s especially necessary because, even though my husband has a salary, we can’t completely depend on it. I can just hear, “This sister in church hasn’t paid school fees, so I sent her money,” or “I felt led to give this person money.” Sometimes, he tells me before giving out money, but I can’t discourage him, even though it can be an inconvenience. I believe God blesses people so they can be a blessing to bless others. We’re also recipients of the generosity of others. 

    So, I can’t stop him from emptying his account to help people. It’s just difficult to plan because I can’t say the money we have today is what we’ll have tomorrow. The only income we can plan on is my salary, because people usually go to the pastor for their financial problems, not his wife. 

    Still, our finances are usually tight because ₦85k is not enough. My husband can still come and suggest that we use my salary to do something in the church. One time, we used the money we planned for electricity units to fix the church generator while we sat in darkness for two days.

    Hmm

    I often feel stressed because of our financial situation, but one thing I can say is that my husband tries his best to make me happy. He’s a good man.

    I also try to put my hope in God instead of our bank accounts. Once, we were completely broke, and someone sent my husband ₦50k out of the blue. Miracles like that happen a lot. It’s just that, I’m someone who loves to plan. I don’t like waiting to “see what happens.” But I’m learning to let God take control. 

    What are your thoughts about safety nets?

    I try to push for us to save for house rent and emergencies, but it hardly works out. What usually happens is that we’ll save for a while, and something almost always comes along to take the money away. 

    Still, I ensure that I keep some money aside whenever we receive financial gifts or any extra money. Right now, I have ₦62k in my savings.

    Do you have a budget for romance and gifts in your relationship?

    There’s no budget; we just get things for each other when there’s money. People often tease me, saying I must have a turban in every colour, and that’s my husband’s doing. When he has money, he buys me turbans or Ankara material so we can sew matching outfits.

    On the other hand, my husband doesn’t like gifts. I can buy him a wristwatch today, and he’ll say, “Someone would have appreciated the money you used to buy this.” So, I just maintain myself and only buy him things he absolutely needs, like singlets, boxers and shirts when I have money.

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    One of my husband’s sons in the Lord recently gifted him a plot of land. The goal is for us to build a hostel so we can make money from it or build our own house. I believe it’ll be a good investment for our future.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: My Wife’s Salary Is Important, but I Want Her to Quit

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    7 years. My wife, Uchechi, and I dated for a year and have been married for 6.

    How did you meet?

    We met in December 2017. We’re from the same village and had travelled home for Christmas. I was seriously considering getting married, and I knew she was potential wife material when I met her. She was friendly, homely and very beautiful. 

    I still needed to know more about her before making a decision, so I spent most of my time in the village asking about her and her family. When I was satisfied with my findings, I got her number through a relative and sent her a WhatsApp message: “My name is Emeka, and I want to marry you.”

    Just like that? How did she respond?

    She responded with a laugh emoji and said, “I don’t even know what you look like and you want to marry me?” 

    I called her to introduce myself, and we started talking from there. This was in January, and she’d already left the village. However, I knew we both lived in Lagos from my findings, so I asked to see her after I returned to Lagos. I remember it took weeks for us to find time to see each other. She’d just gotten a contract job at a bank and was always busy. When she was free, my own schedule didn’t work. 

    We eventually settled on her coming to my place one evening and then going to work the next day from there. I even cooked for her that day. We didn’t do the “Will you be my girlfriend?” thing. She knew what I wanted, and we just continued like that. Money issues were the only reason it took us a year to get married.

    How so?

    My landlord at the time suddenly served me a quit notice, and I had to start house hunting. Everyone knows how expensive it is to rent a new apartment in Lagos, especially with all the additional fees, the cost of moving in and setting up the place.

    At the same time, I was also gathering money for the wedding. Getting married in my village is famously expensive due to the bride price list and all the things I had to buy. I was actually prepared for that. I had nearly ₦1m in my savings, specifically for my wedding, but the house issue ruined all my plans. So, I had to start saving again. 

    What were both of your financial situations like at that time?

    This was in 2018/2019, and I earned ₦120k monthly. I also had a small importation business with my sister that occasionally brought in money, but it wasn’t regular income. My sister did most of the heavy lifting; I only helped with capital, and she sometimes gave me a share of the profit.

    I’m not sure what Uchechi was earning at the time. I didn’t really concern myself with what she earned since I was handling all the wedding expenses. In my place, it’s the man who marries the woman. You can’t tell a woman to bring money to marry herself. 

    Interesting. Does this also apply to how you both manage finances in your home?

    Not exactly. I handle the bulk of the expenses, including house rent, school fees, and food, but Uchechi supports the home from her ₦350k salary. She can buy small things for the kids and handle other household essentials, such as fuel, cooking gas, and settle utility bills. 

    I don’t think the man can pay for every single thing in this economy. When I’m not a millionaire. We plan our expenses together, and that’s how we manage to survive. 

    I should also mention that I’m thankful for the kind of wife I have. It’s easy for me to be transparent about my income and for us to plan our finances together because she’s not the type to bill unnecessarily. Of course, she asks me for money, but she’s always reasonable about it. We occasionally argue about money, but it’s not every time.

    What are these money arguments about?

    My wife often tries to pressure me into supporting her family (my in-laws) more by placing at least one parent on a monthly allowance. Her parents are retired, and things are financially rough for them, but I can’t commit to that. 

    My wife knows more than anyone how we manage to make things work. Why would I put myself under extra pressure? I send them ₦20k once in a while, but I don’t intend to make it a monthly payment to avoid undue pressure. I know she probably gives them money secretly, but it’s her money. As long as she’s not asking me and continues to support our home as necessary, I don’t have a problem. 

    That reminds me of another small recurrent issue we have. I want my wife to quit her job, but she has been doing everything to change my mind. 

    Why do you want her to quit?

    She works with an advocacy-focused organisation and travels for work once or twice a month. She works late sometimes, too. It’s always difficult to manage with the kids when she’s not around.  

    I’ve told her to quit and find something else that allows her to have time for the home, too. Her income is important, but I don’t have a problem with us managing on my income until she finds something else. I’ve been saying this for a couple of months now, but she keeps coming up with different excuses not to quit. 

    At first, she said it’d be better to find a job before leaving. But she hardly has free time to do anything, let alone job-hunting. Then she said it’ll be hard to live on my salary alone. But shouldn’t I be the one complaining about that? I’ll probably give her until the end of the year. After that, no more excuses.

    Hmm. But what if she doesn’t find another job quickly?

    Then she’ll have to start a business, preferably one she can run from home. I’m not pushing for that yet because I don’t have money to give her as capital. If job-hunting takes too long, I’ll have to look for money to set her up. 

    Do you have a safety net?

    Oh yes. I’m a religious saver. I save at least ₦30k monthly, and also do a ₦50k monthly ajo contribution towards house rent. I think I have about ₦500k in my savings account right now.

    I’m sure my wife has some savings as well, but I don’t ask about it. I believe it’s healthy for women to have some money of their own stashed somewhere in case of emergencies. I advise my sisters to do the same. 

    Do you have a budget for romance and gifts in your relationship?

    There’s no strict budget, but I sometimes visit eateries with my wife and kids. Other times, they say they want to eat pizza and ice cream, and I buy that too.

    Gifts come during birthdays and Valentine’s Day. My wife even prefers I give her money, so she’s fine with a credit alert. I usually send between ₦30k and ₦50k. 

    Then there’s the usual billing once in a while. “Darling, come and buy this hair for me.” “Darling, this dress will fit me o.” If I can afford it, I pay for it. Other times, I give her part of the money.

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    To have enough money to leave the country whenever we want to. I may or may not relocate permanently, but it would be nice to know we have that option if this country gets worse.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: He’s No Longer as Intentional as He Was 8 Years Ago

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    My boyfriend, Josh, and I have been together for about eight years, since 2017.

    We’d known each other since 100 level — we were in the same department — but didn’t get close until our second year. We started hanging out together because of mutual friends. 

    Then we started hanging out alone and talking every day. We got along really well, and the move from classmates to partners was almost inevitable.

    How were your finances then?

    We both mainly depended on our parents for pocket money. Josh got more money from home — he is from a well-to-do family, and his monthly allowance was ₦50k/month. This was 2017 o. 

    Besides the pocket money from his parents, he often billed his elder siblings, too. So, there was money, and both of us ate it. Those days, we were always going on dates, visiting eateries and sometimes travelling out of town for short staycations. 

    Balling students

    See ehn, we were both irresponsible. If only we’d seen into the future and realised what Tinubu’s era would be like, maybe we would have saved every kobo. But we were young and had more money than we knew what to do with, so we spent it as it came. 

    Even after we graduated in 2019 and served in different states for the NYSC, Josh spent up to ₦35k on transportation alone to visit me every week. He’d also pay for food and whatever dates we went on. Then there were the random ₦10ks he sent me from time to time. Thinking about it now, he actually spent a lot. He’s sort of calmed down these days.

    He doesn’t spend as much anymore?

    Yeah. I think it’s that we’ve both grown up, and adulting is forcing us to make better financial decisions. We can’t go on staycations every time or spend money like we used to because there are more expenses, and we’re essentially responsible for each other. 

    For instance, we decided to move in together in 2023, mostly for financial reasons. I was almost always at his place anyway, so it didn’t make sense to pay rent when I was hardly at home. My parents don’t know we live together, sha; they’re pretty old-school, so it’s best to keep them believing I live with a female friend. 

    What are the dynamics of cohabiting like for you, especially financially?

    I used to believe Josh handles the majority of the bills, as he pays the ₦1.2m rent and utility bills, while I handle the food. However, I reviewed our feeding expenses a few months ago and realised I might be contributing more. 

    I spend at least ₦85k on foodstuff monthly and still buy other things like cleaning supplies and decor pieces when I go to the market. So, it’s almost like we’re doing 50-50. I complained about this and got him to reluctantly commit to giving me a monthly food allowance. That was three months ago, and he’s only given me ₦60k to support the food expenses once. Even that was after I’d reminded him about it multiple times. 

    I’ve told myself I won’t nag about it anymore. I naturally don’t like to feel like I’m begging someone for money. These days, I simply do what I can with food. When I don’t have money, I don’t cook. Sometimes he cooks instead, other times, he orders food. 

    Besides the food palava, cohabiting is pretty great. What’s not to like about waking up to your favourite person? I think people judge the idea of living with your partner harshly. We all visit our significant others and spend time together over the weekends. Am I doing something significantly worse by making it a daily arrangement? Everyone should just do what works for them.

    Right. What kind of money conversations do you have with your partner?

    We talk about everything from shared bills to our incomes and spending habits. We’ve grown together, so we’ve been open about how we make money from the start.  

    Josh’s growth is even more glaring. While I still like to spend money and reward myself with little gifts for surviving adulting, he’s now the “save for the rainy day” preacher. I mean, I understand that, but we should live life once in a while. 

    One disadvantage of his new approach to spending is that we hardly go on dates except on special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries. Or maybe it’s because he’s too used to “us”, but I feel he doesn’t put as much effort into “dating” me as he did before. Typically, we now spend most of our time together at home. He’s no longer the Josh who used to plan dates and surprise me with gifts and money. 

    Now we’re like an old married couple. And the reason I don’t think it’s only because of money is that his income isn’t poor. ₦800k/month isn’t bad. I know there are expenses and the need to save for a wedding (we plan to marry in 2027), but he’s not broke. It’s the intentionality that has taken a back seat.

    Hmm. Does he know you have these concerns?

    He does, and he thinks it’s normal for a long-term relationship to have this dynamic. On one hand, I get his point. We’ve been together for so long, and that initial excitement can’t always be there. Still, it’s a bit worrying because we aren’t even married yet. If you’re already tired of doing new things, what will happen when we’re a married couple?

    On my end, I’m trying little things to keep the spark alive. I write him love notes and get him gifts. The last gift I got him was an ₦85k bottle of perfume. When I do things like that, he reciprocates by getting me something or sending me money. But I don’t want it to feel like he only remembered to put in the effort because I did. He should just think about me and do it like he used to. Maybe I’m expecting too much and just need to calm down. 

    You mentioned saving for a wedding. How’s that going?

    It’s mostly Josh saving for it since he’ll handle the bulk of the expenses, but I send small ₦10k there once in a while. He saves ₦100k monthly and any extra bonus he gets from work. We don’t have a working budget yet as it’s still over a year away, but we’re looking at raising at least ₦10m.

    How about after the wedding? Have you both discussed how you intend to handle the home’s expenses?

    Not exactly. I think we’re working under the assumption that we’ll continue with the arrangement we already have: Josh handling the big bills while I provide support. 

    In fact, thank you very much for this question. We need to sit down to clearly outline how expenses will work. I don’t want to fall into the trap of completely handling the food expenses when we get married. 

    Do you both have any safety nets besides the wedding fund?

    Hmm. I don’t o. But I think Josh does. He saves around ₦50k monthly, but I’m not sure how much that has amounted to.

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    We really want to japa and we’re hoping it either happens just before we get married or before we have a child. I don’t even want to think about how much we’ll need to facilitate that. We’ll find a way when the time comes.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: We Want to Get Married, but His Unstable Income Is a Problem

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    We’ve been together since April 2024.

    How did you meet?

    Lekan and I met on Facebook. We’d been Facebook friends for over a year before he asked me out. I wasn’t surprised when he did. I actually expected it. Most of my male friends on Facebook connect with me because they want to ask me out. So I knew the question was coming. But when it did, I didn’t accept immediately.

    Why not?

    He’d told me he had a child from a previous relationship, and I wasn’t comfortable with it. I feared dealing with a complicated situation where one woman could come later and start claiming rights. So, I needed time to process it and decide if I could go ahead with it. I didn’t give him a yes until about three months had passed.

    What changed your mind?

    Lekan had all the other things I wanted: God-fearing, mature, and we were best friends even before we started dating. So, I decided to go for it. 

    Also, his child wasn’t like a baby. His relationship with his child’s mother hadn’t worked out, and Lekan had opened up to me about it. The child lived with the mother. So, I believed it wouldn’t be an issue.

    Got it. What are your financial situations like?

    Lekan was working as a store manager, earning ₦70k/month when we started dating. Now, he mostly makes money from online tutoring gigs, and since it’s primarily freelance, there’s no specific monthly income.

    As for me, I’m a teacher and I offer catering services once in a while. My actual salary is ₦25k, but when I get catering gigs, that figure can range between ₦35k and ₦40k. I have to say our financial situation is the primary struggle in our relationship. 

    How so?

    It’s not easy to do things on an unstable income. We have hopes for our future. We’ve even talked about settling down, but we can’t make actual moves because of money. I’m worried about Lekan’s unstable income. 

    If he had something, we could plan around what comes in monthly, no matter how small the money might be. It won’t be a case of, “Will money come or will it not come?” 

    Have you shared these concerns with him?

    All the time. He says he’s working towards it. I hope things get better soon. In the meantime, we support each other as much as possible. We talk about our money struggles and what we need to do to improve the situation.

    We assist each other when the other person is broke. I can send him money for food or data when I have, and he does the same for me, too — usually ₦5k or ₦10k. Besides our money challenges, it has been an awesome relationship. We work well together, and I know things will only get better.  

    You mentioned he has a child. How does that play into your relationship dynamic?

    It doesn’t really affect us. I don’t really interfere with his relationship with his child and the mother. I know he has an arrangement with his baby mama’s family to be part of the child’s welfare. He doesn’t send money monthly, but I think he contributes to feeding and school fees. I don’t really know much about their arrangement. I don’t want to get involved.

    Interesting. How do you guys navigate budgeting for dates and gifts in your relationship?

    Hmm. This is another challenge we have. I often tell Lekan that there are some things you don’t wait for the right time to do, you just compromise and make the sacrifice. For example, we hardly go out to celebrate birthdays or buy each other gifts because Lekan says there’s no money. On the rare occasion that we go out, we visit eateries.

    Ironically, he spends more than he saves. Lekan can get some money now and spend it all without putting anything aside. He thinks savings should come from when you have excess, but I think you should save regardless of how much you have. So, we argue about that a lot.

    What do future plans look like for you two? You mentioned settling down

    Yeah. I’m hoping we get married in a year. But we still have to settle our finances first before moving further. I don’t think we can get married while his income is still unstable. So, when that is fixed, we can plan.

    Do you both have safety nets?

    I don’t know about him, but I have a monthly ₦10k ajo contribution to save money. I’m also looking for an investment platform to join and see what investing can look like for me.

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    I’d like us to set up our own business. Since we’re in the education sector, we hope to have a school someday. Then maybe also invest in real estate.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: He Teaches Me How to Make Money. I Teach Him How to Manage It

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    Tayo* and I started dating in March, so that’s about six months.

    How did you both meet?

    We met at a career event. I’m usually a shy person, but everyone says it’s important for professionals to network. So, I deliberately approached people at that event; Tayo was one of them. Our conversation was so smooth and funny, I forgot how to be shy. 

    Haha. Love to see it

    We talked about everything from annoying LinkedIn posts to our favourite movies. After the event, we exchanged numbers and continued the conversation on WhatsApp. 

    Two weeks later, he invited me out for a movie and ice cream date. He asked me to be his girlfriend after the date. I said yes with a quickness. Our relationship is hands down the best I’ve ever had. We’re so in sync; we talk about every single thing and share similar values. 

    Plus, Tayo is such a fine man. I look at him sometimes and giggle to myself. Hard girl like me. 

    It goes both ways, too. I can tell he dotes on me. I just feel really lucky. I still can’t believe I found love the one time I managed to drag myself out of the house. 

    Shots fired at home bodies. What kind of money conversations do you have?

    We’re pretty open with our finances. One of the key points we took away from the career event we attended together was the importance of being open about one’s income as a creative or young professional, so we know what’s attainable and do not undervalue ourselves. 

    Tayo and I work with clients; he works in marketing and freelances frequently, while I often work with different people as a virtual assistant. From day one, a recurring conversation topic between us was how we charged for services and negotiated rates. 

    Tayo earns far more than I do — at least ₦800k/ month — and he’s mastered the art of pitching and landing foreign clients. So, he’s my unofficial career coach. We’re always talking about how I can enhance my professional brand and increase my income. He edits and proofreads my pitches and is my sounding board for negotiations. 

    I landed my first foreign client two months after we started dating and earned $800 for the one month I worked with that client. Tayo has taught me how to push for more, and I’m confident I’ll get even more dollar-paying clients soon. 

    Energy

    On the other hand, I’m also helping Tayo with his spending habits. He can be an impulsive spender, but since we both talk about our incomes and expenses, I can caution him on certain moves. As a firm believer in saving, I’m proud to say I’ve influenced Tayo to take his savings journey more seriously since we started dating. 

    In a way, we’re helping each other reach our financial goals. For me, it’s to make more money, and for him, it’s to manage his money better. We’re getting there slowly and surely. 

    It’s honestly giving power couple. About those savings, what do your safety nets look like?

    I save at least ₦50k monthly and currently have ₦800k saved. It’s even low because I dipped into it to repair my laptop a few weeks ago. Tayo now saves between ₦100k – ₦150k monthly. He only got consistent with it about three months ago, so his portfolio is still under ₦500k. 

    We’re studying investment options because he has the capital for it, and investments are a better way to grow wealth. We’re currently in between stocks, crypto and real estate. We might do all three, just at different amounts.

    I notice you’re saying “we”. Are you considering joint investments?

    We haven’t actually discussed that. I guess I’m just using “we” because we’re both fully involved in the process. Who knows? Perhaps when we settle on an investment option and cadence, we can pool our money together. 

    Let’s talk about gifts and dates. How does that work in your relationship?

    I’m still a homebody, so I’m mostly content with hanging out at his place while he cooks or orders food. When we manage to leave the house and go somewhere, Tayo handles the expenses. 

    We recently celebrated our six-month anniversary with a two-day staycation in Lagos. I booked and paid for the train tickets (about ₦15k for the return trip) and also covered some of the cab rides we took in Lagos. Tayo handled the hotel room, food and other expenses. I think those came down to approximately ₦500k. 

    I also gifted him some t-shirts and a pair of shoes for our anniversary, which cost me ₦65k. His gift to me was a pair of slippers I’d been eyeing since forever and a surprise ₦100k alert. I was legit shocked about that one. He said, “I didn’t like that your name wasn’t showing up in my debit history, so I wanted to fix it.”

    In my head, I was like, “Is that how you relationship people use to do?” It’s crazy because now I’m thinking about how to shock him with money, too. 

    Romance is not dead o. Out of curiosity, have you both discussed a future together?

    Oh definitely. I must marry this boy and make him my baby daddy.

    You’re killing me. Any idea how you’ll both run your home?

    It’ll still be an extension of what we currently do. We’ll be open about our incomes and handle expenses together. Tayo will take the lead, but I’ll still pitch in. It’s our money, so we should enjoy the best quality of lives our joint incomes can afford.

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    We’ve talked about owning multiple properties together to earn passive income while we focus on other things. That’s the ideal future.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: We Live in Different Countries, and My Husband Doesn’t Trust Me With Money

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    Ben and I met in 2017 and got married the following year. We’ve been together for eight years.

    How did you meet?

    Our parents are family friends. One day, my mum said, “Do you remember Mummy Ben? She’s looking for a wife for her son, and I think you should meet him. He’s a good boy.” 

    At 28, it wasn’t the first or fifteenth time my mum had tried to set me up with someone. I always found a way to ignore her matchmaking attempts. But this time, I was just tired. I’d just left a relationship after discovering my “boyfriend” was actually somebody’s husband. I was at the point where I didn’t even want to do love again. 

    If I were going to get married, someone would have to literally carry and put me inside the marriage because I didn’t have strength for boyfriend-girlfriend again. So, when my mum brought up Ben’s matter, I was just like, “Oya. Bring him.” 

    We met up, and surprisingly, I found him attractive and funny, so we just continued. I don’t think we ever actually said, “We’re dating now.” We just found ourselves in the relationship. 

    Do you have any idea why Ben was open to being matchmade?

    I later found out that he was planning to leave the country to join his brother, and his family wanted him to marry first so he wouldn’t bring a white girl home. 

    We started dating towards the end of 2017 and got married seven months later in 2018. Ben relocated a week after our wedding. I knew we’d have a long-distance marriage from the start, but I thought it’d be for a few months or at least a year until he settled my papers. But it’s 2025, and we still live in different countries. 

    Why’s that?

    It’s due to a couple of issues, but the summary I can share is that Ben hasn’t been able to sort out his papers, so he can’t legally bring me over. 

    Interesting. How do you both navigate a long-distance marriage?

    Ben visits once or twice a year and stays for a week or two. Then, we do a lot of texts and video calls. The calls involve careful planning because there’s a six-hour time difference, and finding a time that works for both of us is difficult. But we make sure to do video calls every Sunday and at least two other times during the week so the kids can see him — we have three now. 

    I sometimes struggle with this communication arrangement, though. There are times when I just want to gist with my husband or rant about my day, but I have to wait until midnight or the next day to talk to him because he’s at work. Also, my body is not firewood. Sometimes I wish he were close by. But what can I do? I just have to stay patient and pray that things will work out for our good soon.

    How about finances? How do you both make it work?

    Ben pays the children’s school fees and our house rent. He also sends us foodstuff in bulk through his mum (she’s a major supplier for most food items) every two months. Then sometimes, if I whine him enough, he sends me $50 or $100 to get myself things. But that only comes once in three or four months.

    I also try not to bill him too much because of his responsibilities. He still has to pay rent and other bills over there, including travel expenses when he comes around and the fees incurred from trying to sort my papers.

    I handle the other bills that come up, like electricity, fuel, children’s clothes, medicine, and any unexpected expenses from my salary. Sometimes I still have to buy food, because my children eat like no tomorrow, and the foodstuff my husband sends barely lasts two months. I also own a tailor shop in front of my house that brings me extra money. As soon as I finish work at school, I resume at my shop. I have an assistant, and she helps with some of the sewing. 

    What kind of money conversations do you and your husband have?

    Not much. In fact, besides communication, money might be another issue we have. Ben is very guarded about money. Like, he doesn’t trust me with it. I’m not asking him to tell me how much he earns or send me money every day, but at least I should have more access to his finances. 

    I’ve complained about how he prefers to send money to his mum to buy us foodstuff. Why not just send me the money? I also know the road to the market. If the issue is that he wants me to patronise his mum, all he needs to do is say so when he sends the money. I tell him that his decision to give his mum money makes me feel that he doesn’t trust me with money, but he thinks I overreact. 

    He also argues that he’s already started the habit of sending me foodstuff through his mum, and if he stops now, she might think it’s because of me. I see his point, so I try not to complain too much, but I’m not comfortable with it. 

    Hmmm 

    It’s quite frustrating. I already know there’s no hope of getting a monthly allowance or something like that. I think the fact that he hasn’t lived in Nigeria for so long might also play a part in this. He believes I should be fine as long as there’s food and the rent is paid. But those other “small” expenses add up and finish your money. I’m almost always broke before my salary enters.

    This money issue is a big reason I don’t want another child. I know Ben wants four children, and he’s already hinting at a lastborn, but me, I’ve closed shop. He doesn’t know I’m actively avoiding pregnancy. I’m already struggling to care for the ones I have. I can’t add another one, especially since he might not provide sufficient financial support. He’s trying o, but I can’t handle a fourth child if he continues like this.

    Right. How do his annual visits usually go? Do you get to do things together or plan for dates?

    He usually packs a lot into his schedule whenever he visits. It’s the only time he also gets to visit family and friends. So, we don’t go out like that, except when we go out with the kids to eateries and recreational centres. 

    Curious. Is there a potential timeline for you and the kids to join him abroad?

    The plan right now is for me to join him while the kids stay with my in-laws. We can’t afford to move three children at once. I hope we’ll have my papers sorted within the next two years, but it can even be much earlier. There’s nothing God cannot do.

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    I think it’s pretty clear: For us to afford to move our family to the same country.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: She’s the One but We’re Financially Incompatible

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    It’s been almost a year. Precious and I started dating in December last year.

    How did you meet?

    Precious is friends with my cousin, and I first saw her picture on my cousin’s WhatsApp status. It was my cousin’s caption that drew my attention. She’d posted Precious to wish her a happy birthday and wrote so much about how kind, generous, caring and loving Precious had been to her.

    I remember thinking, “See fine girl with all the character traits I want in a wife. Complete package.” So, I asked my cousin to get her account number so I could send something small for data.

    Account number, not phone number?

    I knew “account number” was the fastest way to get her attention. I doubt women still pay attention to all those “My uncle asked for your number” levels.

    My cousin sent the account number, and I sent ₦20k. I didn’t expect Precious to actually call to thank me. I thought she’d reach out on WhatsApp to say thank you. At worst, she’d ignore the alert because ₦20k is small for big babes these days. Now that I think about it, I might have sent the money as a test to confirm her kind of person. 

    I was pleasantly surprised when she called. We started talking regularly from that day. Her birthday was in November, and we started dating a few weeks later in December. Left to me, we’d have started dating immediately, but she didn’t want to rush. She said we should be friends first. In my mind, I was like, “Friends, as how? When I’ve already planned the number of our children.” 

    Skrim

    I knew she was the one, so I didn’t give her breathing space. I made sure to call every day and send her all those romantic text messages women like. I also paid to change her phone screen and charger because they were giving her issues. I think both cost me close to ₦70k.

    Anyway, she eventually said yes when she saw how seriously I was on her case.

    A finished man

    Abi. At the start, our relationship was mostly long-distance because Precious was in her final year and her university was in Osun. However, she travelled down to Lagos to see her parents once or twice every two months, so we used that opportunity to see each other.

    How did these visits usually go?

    We’d hang out at my place or go on dates whenever she was around. She likes restaurants a lot, and each date typically cost me nothing less than ₦30k. 

    In the first few months of our relationship, Precious was a full-time student, so she didn’t have any income. This automatically meant I had to pay for everything when we went out. I’d also send her money occasionally for data or just to buy something for herself in school, usually ₦20k – ₦30k.

    She graduated early this year, so we now see each other more regularly. The disadvantage is that relationship expenses have also increased because we go out more, and I always pay. I actually thought the expenses would reduce after she got a ₦80k/month virtual assistant job around July to have some money as she prepares for NYSC. Instead, I’m seeing another side of her.

    What side?

    Precious doesn’t know how to manage money. She also tends to spend impulsively. She can receive her salary today, and by next week, she’s complaining about how fast her money disappeared. 

    When I try to trace what she spent on, it’s usually food. She’s the type of person who wants to order expensive food on salary day to spoil herself for no reason. She works from home and has no bills because she lives with her parents. I pay for data, and we use the same Netflix. I sell beauty products, so I supply her with everything she might need. There’s no reason she should finish ₦80k in less than two weeks. 

    I’m worried because I plan for us to get married by the end of this year. She ticks all my boxes, but that money part is a concern for me. I’m a businessman, and there will be times when business won’t go well. I need a wife who can manage resources well.

    Hmm. Have you discussed this with her?

    I’ve told her a few times that she needs to plan her finances better, but her excuse is that ₦80k is too small to manage. I’d have agreed with that if she had responsibilities. ₦80k is chicken change in this economy, truly, but she should be able to do better. 

    I still plan to give her the benefit of the doubt, though. I’ve considered putting her on a monthly allowance to see how she spends, but Instagram banned one of my major pages two months ago, and business has been slow. My beauty products business used to bring me ₦700k in a bad month. Now, I average ₦300k – ₦500k. I don’t have the freedom for extra expenses. 

    Right now, it looks like I’ll have to push the wedding forward to keep observing her attitude with money. She didn’t know I was considering a wedding this year before, so nothing spoil. 

    What if, after more “observation,” you don’t see a positive change?

    Hmm. I might have to end the relationship or seek advice from senior friends. I’m only considering seeking advice because of how much I love her. I ordinarily wouldn’t consider letting go of such a major issue. I’ve seen and heard a lot about marriage, and I know that the worst thing a man can do is marry a woman who doesn’t know how to manage or understand. 

    I’m not saying she has to deliberately marry a poor man to prove she can manage. No woman wants to suffer. But anything can happen in this life. I’m comfortable now, but if I’m broke in the future, I shouldn’t be scared that my wife will make my life a living hell.

    I guess that’s fair. You mentioned your relationship expenses have doubled. What does that budget look like these days?

    We visit restaurants at least once a month, usually costing ₦50k – ₦80k. I pay ₦18k monthly for her data. 

    Then there’s the random money here and there for hair or something she likes. I don’t have a budget for that one because it can be as little as ₦30k or as high as ₦200k. It just depends on what she asks for and whether I have the money to attend to the need at that time.

    Do you have a financial safety net?

    I don’t save money in the bank. Everything goes back to my business. I can get spending money, but I don’t keep money in my account to save it. It pays me to put it in the business and make my profit.

    See, this is why I want a woman who can manage. At least, as I’m giving her money here and there, she’s secretly saving some as emergency funds. So, if I come and say, “Babe. E don red o,” she’ll just bring out money to save me. Even if it’s to borrow me.

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    It’s still the same as what I said. Let me go out and hustle and risk my money for profit, while having the peace of mind that my wife is making better financial decisions. 

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: The Marketing Pro Seamlessly Running His Home on a Combined ₦2.9m/Month Income

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    We started dating in 2013 and got married in 2021. That’s 12 years in total. 

    How did you meet?

    We were in the same faculty at uni, and I used to see her around. She was my spec: slim and dark skin. I liked her, but I didn’t approach her. Instead, I asked a friend who stayed in her hostel to send me her Twitter handle. I started following her, but didn’t initiate a conversation until a few weeks later. 

    She already knew I liked her at this point because I’d already told mutual friends, and they kept hinting at it. One time, during a general course lecture, Fiyin sat beside my friend, and I sat beside them. I started telling the guy about my feelings for her, you know, just to make him aware. The guy literally tapped her, pointed to me and said, “My guy likes you.” I just bent my head. 

    I’m screaming

    Fiyin complained about my many “hints” to a mutual friend. Thankfully, the friend encouraged her not to cancel me just yet. I finally reached out to her on Twitter and asked for her BBM pin (BlackBerrys were still trending in 2012), and we started chatting. 

    We got along pretty quickly. We’d go for walks in the faculty, and she’d laugh at my dry jokes. All my friends loved her. It was great. I formally asked her out a few months later in 2013, just to make things official. We were both in 300 level at this time. 

    Here for the undergraduate love. What was your financial situation, though?

    We both lived on pocket money. I got mine from my dad, but it wasn’t stable. Sometimes he’d send ₦5k, other days, he’d send ₦20k. Fiyin got pocket money from both her mum and dad. I’m not sure how much, though. 

    That said, we didn’t pressure each other to buy stuff or go on dates. Fiyin wasn’t billing me or anything like that. I did go all out on her birthdays, though. For her last birthday in uni, I bought a huge card for ₦1,500 and got all her friends to write on it. I also bought her a cake for ₦5k and a pair of flat shoes for ₦5k.

    We graduated in 2014 and served the NYSC year in neighbouring states. It wasn’t long-distance, though, because she always visited on the weekends. I was sharing an apartment with a cousin then, so Fiyin would just stay over.

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    Who paid for these trips?

    Fiyin paid for them herself. It took me about a year to land my first real job after NYSC. To be honest, the delay was because of me. I was very picky about where I wanted to work. I eventually picked a contract role at a telecoms company for ₦97k/month in 2016. I was on that salary for about four years. At one point, it even reduced to ₦85k. 

    My relationship with Fiyin was going great, but I didn’t feel financially stable enough to progress beyond dating. Fiyin wasn’t pressuring me either. Plus, our incomes were similar. Between 2016 and 2018, she earned ₦60k. Then she got a bank job and moved to around ₦90k.

    Our financial situation started to improve in 2019. I got a permanent role at my job, and my salary increased to ₦437k. Fiyin also got a promotion and a salary bump to ₦195k. By 2021, when we finally felt ready for marriage, we earned ₦600k and ₦256k, respectively. 

    How did you both handle wedding expenses?

    It was a joint effort, but I took on more of the expenses since I earned more. Before the wedding, I lived with my parents, which helped me save a whole lot. I was just investing my money in mutual funds and Risevest.

    We also got a lot of financial support from friends. Our wedding cost us about ₦14m, but only ₦4m of that amount was our own money. It was surprising because we didn’t even actively ask people for support.

    Then we got our three-bedroom apartment for ₦2.850m (₦2m/year without the agent fees). Interestingly, we only got the place two weeks before our wedding and didn’t move in until a few weeks after, because, between 2020 and 2021, Fiyin lived with me in my parents’ house. Her own parents left the country, so she had to stay with me. My parents are liberal, and they didn’t have a problem with that. So, there was a point after our wedding when we had to return to my parents’ house because our apartment wasn’t ready. 

    Back to the present day. How do you both run your home’s finances?

    Our rent has doubled since then — it’s now ₦4m — but our income has also increased. Fiyin joined my workplace in 2023 and now earns ₦1.2m/month, while I earn ₦1.7m. We also have a child now.

    I pay rent, and Fiyin pays the ₦600k/year service charge. Once salary enters, we immediately take out our savings — ₦1m for me and ₦500k – ₦700k for her — convert them to dollars immediately and leave them in a Risevest account. 

    Then we use the rest to sort out bills and home expenses. Sometimes I pay when we go shopping, and other times she pays. I fuel the car, she fuels the car too. We just handle everything together. 

    What kind of money conversations do you both have?

    We often discuss personal development. For instance, when Fiyin worked at the bank, I noticed she couldn’t keep up with her savings because she didn’t earn much. So, I started helping her apply for roles in my company because I knew they’d pay her more. It took a couple of tries, but she eventually got in, and our finances and savings have improved jointly.

    Speaking of savings, we also discuss our plans for saving and investing. We’re both prudent savers, so it’s easy for us to be on the same page. I should also mention that we’re in the middle of a Canada relocation process, and our joint savings played a big role in making that happen.

    Oh. Tell me more about the relocation bit

    We went through the Express Entry route and got Permanent Residency early this year. We didn’t actually think japa would happen so soon. We had it in mind, and I had done IELTS and WES, but it wasn’t exactly top of mind until someone told my wife about a category-based selection for people who worked in transport. 

    My wife works in finance, and transport is under finance. She had experience interacting with suppliers and other transport guys, so we entered the Entry Pool with that and got the Invitation to Apply (ITA) in a month. It was quite shocking. 

    Anyway, we travelled in July for a soft landing, spent a month, and are now back to prepare to relocate fully next year.

    Congrats! What’s “soft landing,” though?

    So, when you get your Permanent Residency (PR), Canada gives you a specific number of days to land in the country, or else they’ll revoke the PR status. A “Soft landing” is when you travel within that period to complete the necessary documentation, get the PR card, open bank accounts, and spend some money to increase your credit score before you’re actually ready to relocate. 

    So, that’s what we did. I honestly can’t remember all we spent on the whole process because it was a lot of random bills. However, I can estimate we spent around ₦5m for the applications and WES evaluations and gathered 34,000 CAD (around ₦38m) for our proof of funds. We dipped into the proof of funds for the soft landing trip and spent about $5,000 on the trip and other expenses, including a $1,000 gift to the relative we lived with for the month we spent there.  

    All this came from your joint savings?

    Yes. Everything. 

    Safe to say it was a case of “opportunity meets preparation”?

    It was exactly that. 

    Nice. You both seem to run like a well-oiled engine. Do you even have money-related conflicts?

    Haha. Not really. There’s the occasional complaint when I borrow money from Fiyin and don’t return it quickly or at all. It’s more banter than conflict sha.

    Do you still have a safety net? Considering you’re using your savings for the proof of funds

    Well, we’re still saving. We’re moving for good next year, so we’ll still save our salaries, leave allowances and bonuses, and sell our cars and some property in our house to top up what we already have. 

    I estimate we’ll travel to Canada with at least $65k. That should keep us afloat in case there are any delays in finding jobs. I applied for some jobs (and got some rejections) while we were in Canada just to get a sense of how they worked. I intend to begin serious applications about three or four months before our move. I’m positive we’ll find something before we move.

    Rooting for you. What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    I’m not greedy; I just want us to have a $5m net worth. If we have that in S&P 500 stocks and consistently receive 14% returns, that’s about $700k in yearly interest, which is essentially extra money. We won’t even need that much to survive in a year. 

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: The Mechanic Cohabiting With His Common Law Partner on a ₦70k/Month Income

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  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    Deola and I have lived together since 2020. 

    How did you meet?

    She was learning sewing work with a tailor near my workshop. I noticed she wasn’t like the other girls there, who used to joke carelessly with men in the area. In fact, one of the other mechanics in my workshop always complained that Deola never answered him, even though he tried different styles to “toast” her. 

    She was just quiet, and that character made her fine in my eyes. So, I started to pursue her too. 

    But she was notorious for ignoring everyone. What made you sure she’d say yes?

    I wasn’t sure o. But those other men just wanted to sleep with her, and I think women know when men only want that. Me, I wanted her to be my woman, not just a one-time thing. Instead of telling her straight that I liked her, I started by being friendly and buying her food. 

    An amala seller used to hawk amala in our area, and whenever she came, I’d ask Deola if she’d eaten. Sometimes, she’d say, “Yes,” because she didn’t want me to buy her food. But most times, she’d let me buy it. The food wasn’t cost sef — around ₦500 – ₦700 per plate. Small small, we started talking and that’s how we started seeing each other.

    When did you start living together? 

    The lockdown happened a few weeks after we started seeing each other, but Deola didn’t have transport money to return to her parents’ house in a different state. She also had no family in Ibadan and didn’t want to live with her oga anymore. The oga was like a family friend, so Deola’s parents sent her to live there and learn tailoring work. But the oga was also giving her housemaid work and beating her anyhow. 

    So, when COVID came, I just told Deola to come and stay with me in my room and parlour. I would’ve given her money to travel, but I was also broke that period. We thought she’d just stay for some time while I gathered money to help her continue learning tailoring with someone else. 

    But even after I gave her ₦50k to start learning with another tailor later in the year, she still stayed back. It didn’t make sense for her to be looking for friends to live with again. Also, she was pregnant.

    Oh.  

    Yes. So, we’ve just stayed together since then. We now have two children, and Deola has her own tailor shop. 

    So, you’re married?

    We’ve not done wedding sha, but everybody knows she’s my wife and I’m her husband. Her parents also know me, and she’s the mother of my children. Wedding is long story, and I think it’s just a waste of money. It’s not until we buy clothes and feed people before we’ll accept that we’re married. 

    Right. Does Deola share the same sentiment?

    She still wants to do a wedding, but that’s not my priority now. I’ll be the one to pay for it, abi? Maybe if I ever get plenty money in the future, I can consider it. But I still don’t think it’s necessary.

    How do you both run your home’s finances?

    My work is not always sure. Today, I can make ₦15k from one car, but tomorrow can come and I’ll not see anybody. So, I drop money for food every week. Sometimes ₦8k or ₦10k, and Deola will add her own money if it’s not enough. 

    We moved to a bigger one-bedroom apartment last year, and I pay the ₦250k/year rent. I do a ₦20k monthly ajo contribution to pay for that. I also pay the ₦50k/year rent for Deola’s shop and other small small bills at home. 

    My first child is in school, but let me tell you the truth, I don’t even know how much school fees are. I just drop like ₦10k or ₦15k every time Deola starts asking me for school fees. I know she still needs to add her money to complete it.

    I’m lucky I have a woman like Deola. She’s always ready to support me. How would I have survived if she was always disturbing me to drop money? Sometimes she just buys things that we need at home without asking me. 

    What kind of money conversations do you both have?

    When we talk about money, it’s usually about needs concerning the house or our children. Deola asks me for money too, usually to send to her parents or siblings, or to buy things in her shop. It’s not every time she asks, but when she does, I try my best to give her because I know she would’ve spent her own money first. 

    She also usually borrows me money to pay my monthly ajo when I’m broke. I try to pay back when I have money but it’s not all the time I do that. The economy is hard; there’s no money anywhere.

    She doesn’t mind when you don’t pay back?

    She complains, but I just use open eye to change the subject. Her complaints are usually about how the money is from her shop, and she needs to return it. I defend myself by pointing out that I pay her rent and pay for everything else. If I can’t borrow money from her once in a while, who should? 

    Sometimes, this borrowing money matter leads to fights, but after a few days, Deola does her best to make sure we start talking again. She’s usually the right one o. I know I should pay her back, but what will I do if there’s no money? If I don’t do the ajo, we won’t have money to pay rent. 

    How do you handle budgeting for romance and gifts in your relationship?

    Ah. There’s no space for that one o. Let us even see money to eat and do important things first. Sometimes, if money is plenty in my hand, I can give her money to do her hair or buy shawarma. That one doesn’t pass ₦10k like once a month or once in two months.

    Besides the ajo, do you both have other safety nets?

    No. But I plan to rent an okada later in the year to make extra money whenever I don’t have customers like that in the workshop. I don’t need to gather money for that. I’ll just give the okada owner a percentage of whatever I make weekly.

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    It’ll be nice to become landlords in the future. At least we can make money from renting out rooms to tenants.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: The Married Project Manager Handling 70% of the Bills on a ₦450k Salary

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