Abroad Life | Zikoko!

The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.

Bimpe (35) had a good life in Nigeria as a successful travel consultant. But when her three-year-old daughter started shouting “Up NEPA,” something snapped. Determined to give her child a better life, she moved to Germany in 2020. In this story, she shares her experiences with systemic racism, the reality of raising a Black child in Germany, and why she is finally moving back to Nigeria.

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

I currently live in Berlin, Germany. I left Nigeria in 2020.

What inspired you to leave?

I think it was the same thing that inspires most young Nigerians to leave: the belief that there is no future for them in the country. As a single mother at the time, my biggest motivation was my daughter.

My work took me outside Nigeria often, so I had thought about migrating eventually, but it was not in my immediate plans. Then one day, I heard my three-year-old daughter shout, “Up NEPA!”

Those words hit me like a train. It was heartbreaking to think she was going to grow up in that same environment. To have another generation shouting “Up NEPA!” just like mine did felt like a generational curse. I could not stand the thought. I started making plans to leave immediately. In less than a year, we had moved to Germany.

You said you travelled often for work. What did you do?

I was a travel consultant. If there was a potential language barrier, I would escort clients to their destination to ensure they got through immigration processes without any issues. I loved my job. Apart from being away from my family, leaving my career was the hardest part of moving away from Nigeria.

So how did you leave?

I had built up many contacts in the travel business over the years. I let them know I was looking to move to Europe, though I had not even decided on a specific country. I certainly was not thinking about Germany. I had been all over Europe, but never there.

However, I had a business partner with a travel agency there, and they were the first to show serious interest. The initial plan was to work for them on a sponsored freelance visa and regularise my stay later.

Did it all work out?

It almost did, but then the pandemic happened, and everything fell apart.

We arrived in Germany just days before they shut the borders. Once in Germany, I started the onboarding process at my new job. Then the lockdowns began. It was not just the borders that were closed; everything was shut down. It was a terrible time for the tourism industry, and the agency had to downsize. Naturally, they started with the newest hires. Suddenly, I was without the job that had brought me to the country in the first place.

What did you do?

The money I had saved in Nigeria started to look like nothing once changed to Euros. Between feeding and rent, I was burning through my savings very quickly. It felt like my life was going up in flames.

Without the job, I lost my visa sponsorship. I started receiving letters from the German government asking me to leave as soon as the borders reopened. But I was not ready to go back. I felt I had already given up too much to get there. I had sold everything in Nigeria and referred my clients to colleagues. There was nothing to go back to.

I got a lawyer to help plead my case, and eventually, I was given what is called Duldung here. It means “Tolerated Stay Permit.” Essentially, they suspended my deportation and tolerated my stay for humanitarian reasons. The whole situation was not my fault. I came to the country legitimately and had a plan. The pandemic was unexpected and affected so many people.

This must have been a very anxious time for you. What happened next?

The tolerated stay was for one year. I spent that time thinking about my next move. I decided to learn German as quickly as possible so I could apply for a tuition-free university programme.

I could not afford English-taught programmes, which are quite expensive. But for the German-taught programmes, you have to reach a C1 level in German to be admitted. Learning a new language at thirty was not easy. But I studied hard, took the language exam, and just managed to pass. I was admitted to an MBA programme.

On the job front, I eventually found a remote marketing role with a Malaysian company. That covered my living expenses. Things started to look better financially, but juggling everything was still incredibly difficult. I often considered giving up and going home, but my family in Nigeria relied on me for assistance. The €100 or €200 I send back regularly goes a long way there.

That sounds like a lot to handle. How did it all turn out?

Fast forward almost six years, and things are finally stable. I have finished my master’s and secured a government job, though I still keep my remote marketing role. My daughter is older now, I have a son, and I am married. Things turned out okay eventually.

That is great to hear. So you must be happy with life in Germany now?

Not exactly. Honestly, the idea of raising my daughter here is something I’ve completely abandoned. That goal was defeated.

While I met my husband here and Germany has been good to me in that sense, I would not advise someone in my former situation to come here. If you have no job or prospects in Nigeria, then fine, come. But if you are creative, talented, or entrepreneurial, stay away.

Why would you not recommend it?

Nigerians have fire in their blood. We are hustlers who do not stay in one place. In Germany, they will quench that fire. This place is for people who prefer a quiet, solitary life. If you do not mind systemic racism or you just want to live on government benefits, then Germany might suit you. But if you want to “make it” in life, there is nothing for you here. Career-wise, it was a very bad choice.

You mentioned your daughter. How has it been for her?

The “Up NEPA” I was running away from was replaced by something much worse: racism.

Things were okay in kindergarten because the school was run by British nationals and had an international mix of staff and students. She did not feel out of place. She even picked up German faster than I did. Her integration looked seamless. She was happy and confident. But primary school has shown us the darker side of Germany.

My daughter is the only black child in her school. In Germany, social groups are very segregated. The Germans stay together, and other immigrant groups do the same. Since there are not many Africans, my daughter is basically isolated. Considering what I experienced at university with “educated” adults, imagine what a child goes through.

Can you give an example of the racism you faced during your MBA?

We had to interview people for our thesis. While my German classmates secured interviews easily, I could hardly find anyone willing to speak to me. The most glaring instance, however, was during a supply chain presentation.

Our professor was a Greek man who was a lifetime civil servant in Germany. Alumni had warned me that he gave Black and Indian students poor grades, but I forgot the warning because he was actually quite engaging in class. When the group work came, our white classmates grouped up quickly, so I and the Indian students were forced to form the only non-white group.

We presented a case study on Dangote. My classmates were shocked; they did not think Africa produced anything of that scale. During the presentation, one student even asked if Dangote was “pure Black.” They could not believe a Nigerian man built such a business; they assumed he must be mixed race. It was incredibly irritating.

How did the professor react?

He was clearly upset. Maybe he thought I was trying to prove something by using Dangote as the case study. He grilled us for ages with questions he did not ask the other groups. Everyone could see he was being biased and unprofessional.

Since he could not find fault with the content, he attacked the slide design instead. He claimed the colours did not match and spent ages scrutinising the references and looking for missing commas. He even suggested we had not made the slides ourselves.

I had to pick up my son, who was not even a year old, so I left after our presentation. I later found out through our WhatsApp group that the professor was furious I had left and threatened to give our group the lowest score. I fought back, emailing the administration with proof that I designed the slides myself and challenging his bias.

Did the school take any action?

They called me for a meeting, but the professor’s “solution” was to give the entire class a C-grade. He did this to turn my classmates against me for “playing the racial card.” That is how the system brings you down—if they cannot get you directly, they turn the crowd against you.

That sounds incredibly isolating. As a family, how do you find ways to have fun in Berlin?

I would not call it fun; I would call it “unwinding.” Fun usually involves human connection. Without my husband and children, I would be completely alone. We go to church on Sundays and sometimes to the playground. But even there, other children do not play with mine. It is a cold, detached place to raise Black children.

How did you meet your husband?

I met him on a dating app because I did not have time to socialise elsewhere. He is German, but he does business across Europe. Meeting him is the best thing that has happened to me here. He is a wise man, which is rare. Germans are smart, but many lack emotional intelligence. My husband is different.

How was your dating life in Germany before you met him?

There is just no comparison between Nigerian and German men. I went on dates where the man expected me to split a €10 coffee bill. I am a liberated woman, but if a man cannot pay €5 for my drink, we have no future. We cannot even be platonic friends, because I do not see why friends would split such a small bill.

When I met my husband, I asked his opinion on that “Berlin tradition” immediately. He laughed and said he would never make me pay. I got lucky.

How would you compare pregnancy and childbirth in Nigeria versus Germany?

The Nigerian experience was better, but it’s only because of the racism. As a Black woman, you are not always treated properly by white doctors and midwives. I received better, more empathetic care in Nigeria.

In Germany, the staff only behaved nicely when my husband was around. Honestly, if I have another child, I would prefer to have them in Nigeria.

Have you visited Nigeria since you left?

Yes, we visited earlier this year. I had mixed feelings. I was shocked by the cost of living. I spent ₦100,000 in Shoprite on just toiletries. I was changing foreign currency and still complaining; imagine those earning Naira. It was painful to see people looking so skinny and hungry.

But on the other hand, I loved seeing my family. Meeting my new nephews and nieces for the first time felt amazing. My daughter was so happy to finally have people to play with. Her cousins and the neighbours’ children were all over her. She has been asking to go back ever since.

My husband also had a great time. He’s been telling his colleagues how warm and bold the people in Nigeria are. He says he has had better conversations with Nigerian businessmen than he has ever had with Germans.

What does the future look like for you?

I plan to relocate back to Nigeria. It could be as soon as next year. I will gladly leave my government job, but I’ll keep my remote marketing role with the Malaysian company because I’ve enjoyed a fantastic five years with them.

When I return to Nigeria, I want to resume my travel business to help young people move with proper information. They need to know that as a first-generation migrant, you will likely struggle.

If I had known I could not comfortably raise my daughter here, I would have chosen another destination. So I want to help other Nigerians with the information that will help them make the best decisions.

Are you worried about a reduction in your purchasing power when you move back?

Not really. Earning foreign currency in Nigeria provides a very good life. My only real worry is insecurity. However, I want my children to have that Nigerian drive. In Germany, they will be mediocre because the system only wants them to be average. In Nigeria, they will learn to be tenacious.

What have been the major culture shocks for you in Germany?

They do not use email; everything is sent by post. Letters, letters, letters! We are drowning in paper in 2025. The banking is another shocker; transfers that are instant in Nigeria take three days here.

But one thing I like here is how your days pan out exactly as you plan them. People are punctual, and there’s no traffic, so those annoying delays you’ll experience in Nigeria don’t happen here.

What have been your best and worst experiences?

The worst experiences have been with the systematic racism here. In healthcare, you will call 30 doctors for an appointment and be told they are full, but if a white friend calls, they get in immediately. You cannot prove it, but you know it is happening. Every day is a battle.

My best experience was meeting my husband. Meeting him and having my son made the entire journey worth it.

On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in Germany?

Taking my family out of the equation, I would give it a two. It is very depressing here.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me here. For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

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The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.

Melody (27) got interested in Korean culture through K-dramas and K-pop. That fascination led to a master’s scholarship in South Korea. In this story, she shares the experiences, difficulties, culture shocks, how three years in Korea have changed her, and how she misses Nigeria’s signature chaos.

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

I currently live in South Korea. I left Nigeria in 2022.

What inspired you to leave?

I came here to do my master’s.

But why South Korea?

I have been interested in South Korea for a very long time. Of course, it started through K-dramas and K-pop. I found the language fascinating, and I started studying it.

I decided I wanted to pursue a master’s in International Studies with a focus on Korean Studies. And where better to do that than in Korea? So I started looking at study opportunities and got a scholarship.

Was that your first time leaving Nigeria?

Yes, that was the first time I ever left Nigeria.

What was it like arriving in this country that you’ve been fascinated with for so long?

It was like a dream come true. I was very happy. There were a couple of minor niggles, but I feel like the happiness overshadowed any negatives.

I lived in Nigeria for the first 24 years of my life, and staying here in Korea for just three years has completely changed the way my brain works. Getting to see how effective things can be in terms of transportation and quality of life is eye-opening. I’m not trying to throw Nigeria under the bus, but it’s just so different.

I visited Nigeria last year, and I was shocked by the state of the airport. But regardless of its shortcomings, going back to Nigeria always warms me. Here in Korea, it sometimes feels like nobody cares about you, but Nigerians are friendlier. I’m not saying Koreans aren’t friendly; they need to have a reason to talk to you, like being in the same school or going to the same church. I don’t even really know my neighbours yet.

It’s a bit different from older Koreans, though. They are more approachable and more willing to engage in conversations with strangers, unlike the younger ones, who will never approach you first. If you do approach them, though, most of the people I’ve met are really nice.

Anyway, I realised I missed the people in Nigeria. Even the food. I really missed yam. And to an extent, I would say I miss the small gbas gbos that happen in Lagos. My first time on a bus when I got back, they started fighting in the bus and I was just like, “I have missed this.” Everything is so calm in South Korea.

Were you fluent in Korean when you first arrived?

No, I was not. I’d done a bit of self-study before coming. I had also taken classes at the Korean Cultural Centre in Abuja. But I still experienced a bit of a language barrier when I first arrived.

The first year of my scholarship programme included one year of Korean language training. But most of my classmates are also foreign nationals, so we would communicate in English.

The language barrier really became a problem when I actually started my master’s. It’s one thing studying the language, it’s another thing studying in the language. Sometimes I felt like crying during my first semester. I had to do extra studying because I’m basically translating from Korean to English and then trying to understand it back in Korean. It was really difficult for me at first.

Aside from academics, how did the language barrier affect day-to-day life?

It wasn’t a problem. My understanding of the language was enough to get through daily life easily. Also, the country is set up so you barely have to speak to anyone to get anything done. And even if you do, and you’re missing some vocabulary to say what you want, there are translation apps you can use.

How was the experience settling in socially?

I’m not very good at making friends. So most of the friends I made were either schoolmates or from church. There were other Nigerians who got the same scholarship, and we made a group chat and tried to stay connected. That made it easy to feel settled.

What are your plans for the future?

I don’t have any plans set in stone. I’m currently job hunting, but I’m also considering pursuing a doctorate degree. I’m just trusting God’s guidance and instruction for my life.

What would be an ideal job for you?

I’ve been applying for roles in marketing, social media management, and overseas sales. But I’m open to any job that fits my skills.

Do you see yourself returning to Nigeria permanently at some point?

Nigeria will forever be home to me. I have family and friends in Nigeria. But about coming back to settle permanently, I honestly cannot say right now. Of course, I’ll always visit.

How do you have fun in South Korea?

Well, I got interested in swimming, so I’ve started taking swimming classes. I also go to the gym. Or sometimes I’ll go to a café. I like going to the beach, visiting museums, and sightseeing. But I think my favourite fun activity is travelling. I really love travelling. Apart from the actual travel, I even love just planning trips.

When you say travelling, do you mean within South Korea?

Within Korea and also trips out to other countries. Being in Korea has given me opportunities to travel that I never had in Nigeria. From here, it’s much easier to get visas, especially to other Asian countries.

Interesting. What countries have you visited?

I’ve been to Thailand, Vietnam, Malaysia, the Maldives, and Qatar.

Nice. Which was your best trip?

I went to Malaysia and the Maldives on the same trip. In 2024, when I started taking these trips, I went as part of a group, but on this trip, it was just a friend and me. It was sort of a vacation, and we did a lot of activities. We went island hopping, did water activities like snorkelling, and visited museums. The Maldives was so beautiful it felt surreal. I’d never seen bodies of water look that clear. That trip was just so fun, I can barely express it in words.

The Qatar trip was interesting too. It was my first solo trip, so I was a bit worried, but it ended up being great. On my first day, I went on a safari trip, and I met some Nigerians and people from other countries, too.

Sounds like you had a great time. What culture shocks did you experience when you first arrived in South Korea?

I did a lot of research, so I was already quite familiar with the culture before I came here. But a few things did surprise me. For example, timing, let’s just say I was used to “African time.” If an event is scheduled to start at 2 PM, I’m aiming to get there at 2:30 or even 3 PM. But it’s not like that here. If they say it’s 2 PM, it’s starting at exactly 2 PM.

Another shock was the weddings. Back in Nigeria, when you attend a wedding, you know that’s all you’re doing for that day. Here, they have strict time slots for the weddings, so it’s very short, very quick. But what I find most fascinating is the gift-giving. They don’t buy gifts; they just give money.

They have these counters, and as you come in, you go there, put the money in an envelope and hand it over to the people there. Then they’ll give you a ticket. If you don’t gift money and get the ticket, you can’t eat at the wedding. It’s very different from how we do weddings in Nigeria. But I think I prefer the system here, because the newlyweds can use the money to buy whatever they need.

One more shock was the public displays of affection (PDA). There is a lot of that here, and I feel the K-dramas lied to us about that. You don’t see a lot of it in those shows. The main characters might not kiss until the very end. But coming here, I was like, you guys should get your room. What’s wrong with all of you?

You sound like you’ve had an amazing time in Korea, but what has been your worst experience?

I was once hanging out with a Korean friend and another friend from Myanmar. We were at a mall, and we saw this massage chair open for use. Before we walked up, we saw a white couple testing it. And when we got there, they told us foreigners weren’t allowed. We pointed out that we had just seen two foreigners test it; they appeared to relent. They let my friends test it, but when I wanted to, they wouldn’t let me.

I still think about that experience once in a while.

Sorry that happened. Have you experienced other instances of racism and discrimination?

Nope. But to be fair, I’m a really open-minded person, and unless it’s really in my face, I wouldn’t notice stuff like that.

Okay. What has been your best experience so far?

I’ve had a lot of great experiences. I could start from the day I arrived here. I left Nigeria with one wheeled travelling bag and one Ghana-must-go bag. When I arrived, I had to catch a train. Going to the train station, I had difficulty dragging the Ghana-must-go while wheeling the box. And a Korean woman just came and assisted me in dragging the Ghana-must-go until I got to the elevator taking me down to the boarding platform.

When I got out of the elevator, the train was almost leaving. An older couple saw me struggling and came to help. The man was running and dragging the Ghana-must-go until he lost his slippers. It all just felt so welcoming. Like that was literally my first day in Korea, and people were helping me like that. That was a very memorable experience for me.

On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in South Korea, and why?

I think I’m going to give it seven. Ten is for God, nine is for me… I’m just joking.

I’m going to give it a strong eight. My life here is way better than it was in Nigeria. Even in terms of opportunity.

I love the travel opportunities being here has given me. And South Korea has literally been a home away from home for me. Most people I’ve met here have been welcoming. Life here is not that hard. Things work. There’s constant electricity, transportation works, healthcare works, and so does everything else. It’s not a ten yet because I’m still searching for a job.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me here. For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

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The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.

After travelling through 35 countries, Stephanie (31) shares how slow, intentional travel reshaped her outlook, opened global doors, and led her to build a new life in Canada.

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

I currently live in Canada. I left Nigeria permanently two years ago, but my first trip out of Nigeria was in 2017. Something in me changed after the COVID-19 pandemic. I suddenly had this urge to be outside, explore and do more. So I started actively travelling after that.

Were these holidays or work trips?

I’ll call them workations. I took these long trips, settled in a new city while working full time simultaneously. Weekends and evenings were spent like a tourist, while weekdays were focused on work.

How many countries have you been to?

I’ve been to 35 countries, and I’ve visited a lot of them multiple times. I’m more focused on the experience they give me than the number.

That’s a lot of countries! When did you realise you love travelling?

It was during a trip to Spain. I was in Malaga, and I was just completely awestruck by the beauty of it. The coastline, the water—it was so beautiful.

I took a road trip from Malaga to Valencia, going from city to city. And I loved the feeling. I love meeting new people and experiencing new cultures, so that was the deciding moment for me. I knew that I needed to continue seeking that feeling.

Interesting. What’s your favourite country you’ve visited?

I have two: Thailand and Mexico.

Mexico because, to me, Mexicans feel just like Nigerians. I felt like I was at home. The cultures just feel very similar.

Then Thailand because they are some of the happiest people I’ve ever met. They are so kind, so caring, generous, sweet, and very warm.

It’s quite common to hear Nigerians complain about the difficulty getting around with a Nigerian passport. How has that been like for you?

Yeah, it was difficult in the beginning but I went about it the right way. I think most people go for a UK or US visa for their first application, having no travel history.

What I did was to travel to African countries first. The first place I visited was Ghana. Then I went to Rwanda, Kenya, Uganda, and Tanzania. It was after visiting those African countries and building that travel history that I started applying for visas outside the continent.

The first country outside Africa I visited was Spain. It was a short visa, of merely two weeks, but that’s how you start building that travel history. Now I have multi-year visas for the US, UK, Schengen, Thailand, and of course my visa and work permit in Canada. It didn’t just happen at once. I built my travel record very carefully.

I think it’s also important to do your research and then do your applications yourself. If you have questions, ask people with experience. People need to know that a lot of the things that we fear would get us rejected are within our control. We just have to do the right things.

When you visit any new city, is there anything you look for to decide if you like it or not?

Before I even go there, I try to do some research about it. I’ll read about it, and watch some videos to understand other people’s experiences. Then when I’m in the city, I usually take one of those group walking tours where you just walk around the city together with someone who has lived there for a long time.

A good way to fall in love with a city is seeing it through the eyes of someone who loves it. So I try to see the city through the eyes of people who really know it.

Also, those tours allow you to connect with other people who are also new in the city. It has been a good way for me to make friends.

What has been your favourite travel experience?

It was in Cappadocia in Turkey. I took a hot air balloon ride. The other passengers were all coupled up and taking pictures, and I was by myself just looking and watching the sun rise.

It was so beautiful. That moment reconnected me with God spiritually. It was so beautiful to witness, being about a thousand metres above the ground watching the sun rise up. I thought to myself, “There has to be a God who made something this beautiful?”

So you were basically touring the world on these “workations.” But what inspired you to leave Nigeria permanently?

After my first solo trip, I realised that I couldn’t live in Nigeria anymore. I think even while growing up, I sometimes felt different in the things that brought me joy. I love experiences, simple things like taking a walk and deep human connections. Those simple pleasures were harder to build into my everyday life in Lagos because of how fast-paced the city is.

I did not leave Nigeria because I was searching for a better life. Nigeria gave me a very full life, deep friendships, and strong roots. I left because my idea of fulfillment was evolving. That is what first led me to Kenya, where I lived for about a year and a half, and eventually to Canada.

So Kenya had what you were looking for?

It was perfect. The nature, and travelling around Kenya, is amazing. It’s so easy to move around. They have a great rail system that can take you from Nairobi down to Mombasa in less than five hours. And generally, it feels like a country that was built for tourism.

Even Kenyans love travelling within Kenya. They’re always going on little weekend trips to different parts of the country. So for someone who likes to explore like me, it’s the perfect place to live.

What was it like actually living in a new country?

Initially, I was super excited. I had come to Kenya so many times as a visitor, but the reality of actually moving there was different. I thought it would be the same feeling as when I was visiting, but at the beginning, I had difficulty adjusting.

First of all, Nairobi can get very cold. Also, the food is much less spicy than we prefer in Nigeria. But the biggest thing was trying to build a community.

In Nigeria, I had all my friends, and I had a very active social life. I was always hosting people, throwing parties, and going for events. And then I got to Kenya and I had no friends. I basically had to start from scratch.

But at the same time, I wasn’t in the country long enough to really build a strong community because I would stay for two to three months, then I’ll be on my next trip. By the time I’ve come back, the people I connected with have moved on with their lives. It didn’t help that a lot of the people I was able to connect with were also travellers like me. So even though we do keep in touch, our schedules were rarely in alignment.

Did you experience any culture shocks in Kenya?

I was pleasantly surprised by the independence of Kenyan women. They are very strong, very independent, and feel very much like the pillars of their society.

I also found the work culture to be very different from Nigeria, at least comparing Nairobi to Lagos. While Lagos is very fast-paced with the usual hustle and bustle, Kenya felt more relaxed. On weekends, you’ll see people going to the park with their families for a picnic. Just simple things like that which I never saw living in Lagos.

There’s this idea that Nigerians have a bad reputation on the continent. Did you feel that in Kenya?

No, actually I would say it’s the opposite. While I was in Kenya, once I mentioned to anybody that I was Nigerian, they would get so excited. It was great.

I’m actually grateful to Kenya for reconnecting me with my Nigerian roots and making me appreciate Nigeria more, especially our music. Everywhere you go in Kenya, the clubs, the bars, the restaurants, it is Nigerian music playing.

For the longest time, my music taste leaned very Western. But being in Kenya got me listening to Nigerian music again.

What was your best experience in Kenya?

I’ll say my first safari. It was the Naivasha safari. You take a boat on the lake to an island, Crescent Island. And you can just walk amongst the animals.

Like I said, I love nature. And being in that environment made me feel so connected to nature. I felt whole.

That sounds amazing. What about your worst experience?

That would have to be when a friend came to visit me in Nairobi, and in less than twelve hours of her arrival, her phone was stolen.

Nairobi is actually notorious for crimes like phone theft. People jokingly call the city “Nairobbery.” So, I had actually warned her to be careful.

We went to a nice upscale event. You naturally wouldn’t expect that your phone would get stolen in a place like that. But it happened. It was crazy. Definitely the worst experience.

That is crazy. But apart from the crime, you said Kenya was perfect for you. So why the move to Canada?

It just felt like the right next step for me. I was lucky enough to get a work permit here, and I took it as a sign from God that this was the next place that I needed to be.

Also, I wanted something a bit more stable that would make me feel grounded. I want to really focus on my career right now, and I feel like Canada would be the best place for that.

I also have a lot of friends and family here, so that helps. I’ve only lived here for about three months, and I already feel quite at home. Settling in has been a lot less difficult than it would have been if I didn’t have that support system.

What has been your worst experience in Canada?

A friend welcomed me so well and let me stay with them as long as I needed. But even with that soft landing, Canada still showed me shege.

I had already planned a schedule in my head for all the things I would achieve before the end of the year. And getting my own apartment was a major part of the plan.

But getting an apartment as someone who has never lived here before was so difficult. I kept getting rejected everywhere I went. Once they found out I’m an immigrant who just moved here, that was it.

Rent here is typically on a monthly basis, and I was even offering twelve months rent upfront, but some landlords still wouldn’t rent to me.

I began to lose hope because I was just so tired of looking for apartments every day and getting rejected. I’m grateful for my agent because he just kept on pushing and trying, and eventually I got a place. I just moved in a few days ago.

So, yeah, the apartment search was a pretty terrible experience.

Glad you found a place in the end. What about your best experience in Canada?

That has to be my visit to Niagara Falls. Being on a boat while watching the falls crashing into the water was very beautiful.

Let’s talk about future plans. You talked about moving to Canada because you wanted more stability. What does that look like for you?

I want to eventually buy a house. At some point, I want to go back to school. I want to have a real presence in the FinTech space. And I feel like being in Toronto with New York and London just being hours away, I’m in a good spot location-wise.

I also haven’t travelled around North America yet, so being here allows me to start to explore and just take some little trips to places close by.

Do you ever see yourself returning to Nigeria permanently?

To visit, definitely. To move, not anytime soon. Maybe when I’m seventy years old.

In Nigeria, I would say I was quite comfortable. I had a driver, had a cook, and a housekeeper; I barely did any chores. All I did was focus on work. But those things don’t mean as much to me as simplicity, ease of life, and just being able to get amenities when I need them.

It is actually funny how being away from Nigeria has made me love and appreciate it even more. Distance has given me perspective.

On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in Canada and why?

I feel the happiest I’ve been in a long time. But ten would be a bit of a stretch. So let’s say a nine.

I made this decision despite having so many things going well for me somewhere else because deep down I knew it aligned with what I want long-term. And with each passing day, I feel more confident that I made the right choice.

It’s not been the easiest start, but I feel like everything has just been falling into place little by little. I feel very happy to have my little apartment with the Toronto skyline. The peace is what makes me truly happy.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me here. For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

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Chike* (32) and his wife were struggling to pay bills despite being two medical professionals in a no-child, two-income household. In this story, he shares how he left that life behind to become a cleaner in the United Kingdom and what life has been like in his first six months there.

*This model is not affiliated with the story in any way*

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

I live in the United Kingdom. I left Nigeria in 2025. I’ve only been here for about six months.

What inspired you to leave?

First of all, I don’t even think of it as leaving. I would say I escaped Nigeria. My reason for escaping was the search for better circumstances, for a better life.

What was life like in Nigeria?

Life in Nigeria was hard, with little to no reward for the stress. I am a radiographer and sonographer. My wife is a nurse. We don’t have children yet. Even though we were two working medical professionals, it was still difficult to pay the bills.

We couldn’t even make rent sometimes. We could barely get through the month without exhausting both of our salaries and sometimes having to take on debt.

That’s insane. Did both of you travel or just you?

Both of us. She actually moved first. She got a job as a nurse with the National Health Service (NHS), and I joined her a couple of months later.

I had registered and gotten licensed to practise radiography in the UK, but getting a job here proved difficult. Many employers still want UK experience.

So what did you do?

I looked for other jobs. The first job I got was as a cleaner at a warehouse.

Wow!

I know, right? But I showed up with pride every day and took my job seriously. The shocking part is that I earned more cleaning in a week in the UK than I did in a month as a radiographer in Nigeria.

In my first two months in the UK, I worked many different jobs in all sorts of places. Really labour-intensive jobs at packaging companies, food production companies, bottling companies, warehouses, anywhere that was hiring.

But those were stressful. It was starting to tell on my body. So I got a job in care. Very recently, I finally got a job as a sonographer. I’m really happy about it because it was very difficult. To be honest, when I left Nigeria, I never imagined it would take me up to six months to get the job, considering all the experience I had.

Sometimes I just think about how hard it must be for my colleagues applying from Nigeria. The process is just getting tougher for immigrants.

Congratulations on the new job. Any long-term plans?

My goal is to progress within the NHS, do a master’s degree and specialise. I’m hoping to have started and maybe even finished my master’s within the next three years. My wife and I are trying to time it so we start our master’s together. That way, when we’re studying, we can both encourage each other.

I’m really grateful for the grace of having a partner in all of this. Our ideals, goals and both short-term and long-term plans are all in alignment. That has been amazing.

You called leaving Nigeria “escape.” Any possibility of a return at some point?

If it weren’t for family back home, I wouldn’t be looking forward to coming back to Nigeria anytime soon. So the plan is to visit once in a while after we’re settled.

To go back permanently, I don’t see that happening for the foreseeable future. The only thing that would ever make me seriously consider moving back would be a genuine and very drastic change in the conditions back home. The current Nigeria, as it is, is not a place I want to be.

You’ve only been in the UK for a short period. But apart from your wife, have you started to build a support system?

I’m naturally a bit reclusive, so to be honest, currently, my wife is really my only support system here. Even the few Nigerians I’ve met here were introduced to me by my wife. They are her colleagues and friends, and I guess they are sort of my friends by extension.

Let’s talk about your experiences in these first six months. Any culture shocks?

When I got off the plane, the first thing that hit me was the cold. I was mentally prepared for it to be cold, but my body clearly wasn’t. It took me a few weeks to adjust.

I’ll say the stereotype about their food being bland isn’t dishonest. They don’t do spicing as we do back home. We mostly cook Nigerian food at home. Unlike my wife, I’m open to experimenting and trying new things. So I’ll always try British cuisine. Some of them are downright horrible, but some are actually very good.

There’s something I’d heard about the culture here, and I’ve seen it for myself. People can be polite, smile with you, meanwhile they figuratively stab you in the back. But I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing. Even when I can tell the smile is fake, I still appreciate it. I feel like even a fake smile can make someone feel a bit better.

And honestly, I think it’s part of why their system works. There are aspects of the culture I really appreciate. For example, even superiors at work still have to respect you and treat you correctly. Because of that, every job retains the dignity of the person.

I said I was proud of my first job here as a cleaner. Back in Nigeria, it would be unimaginable for someone of my academic standing to accept such a job with pride. It would be considered embarrassing, and you’d be paid next to nothing. But here, even a job like that pays a livable wage.

So while there are cultural differences that take some getting used to, I can’t criticise them because I think it’s all part of why their system works.

Let’s talk about highlights and lowlights. What has been your worst experience so far?

My worst experience was a very long warehouse shift. Twelve hours of back-breaking work with only one hour of an unpaid break. To make things worse, the bus that was supposed to take me home never left the station that day. I had to trek for almost two hours to the next train station. That day was just the worst.

Sounds horrible. What has been your best experience?

My best experience was getting the NHS sonography job. That was the moment I finally felt like I had arrived. After six months, I felt like I could start my life here.

It’s like in the journey of my life, I was travelling down a smooth road, then when I got here, I turned onto a very rough side path. I had to take that path for six months. When I finally got this job, I felt like I’d started to turn back onto the smooth road again.

The process was tough. It involved a physical interview where I had to perform a live ultrasound scan in front of a four-person panel of British professionals. It was nerve-racking, especially because it had been over five months since I left Nigeria, so I was out of practice.

Honestly, I was doubting myself. It was the first time I’d gotten to the interview stage of any of my applications. I knew there were many other applicants. I didn’t have UK experience. So I was nervous.

It had been so difficult getting to that stage. If I didn’t get it, I didn’t know how long it would take me to get another. So it felt like a lot was riding on it. I tried not to think about it too much so I could manage my disappointment if I didn’t get it. My wife was more confident than I was. She believed in me more than I believed in myself.

When the acceptance mail came, I screamed the whole house down. I bet my neighbours thought something was wrong. That was my best moment so far.

I can imagine. Congratulations again. On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in the UK and why?

I’d say a solid eight point five. My major reason for leaving Nigeria was to seek a better quality of life. I’m not looking to work less, but I want to actually see the fruits of my hard work. I don’t want to be living to work, I want to work for a living. Here, I feel my hard work is rewarded.

As a radiographer in Nigeria, I could barely afford my own needs. But here, I can even help out family back home.

It doesn’t feel like a fool’s dream to plan towards buying our own home in a few years. You don’t have to save two years’ salary untouched before you can afford an old car just to commute. If we live frugally for two to three months, we should be able to get at least a fairly used car if we want.

A lot of the things you’re conditioned to see as luxury back home are considered basic here. So it’s just a much better quality of life.

It’s not a ten because I still think about my family in Nigeria. Even if you escape a dungeon and you still have family there, then a part of you is still in that dungeon. So even as things get better for me, I still have to put in extra effort to help make things better for them.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me here. For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

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Tope* (33) decided to abandon her ₦35 million salary in oil and gas after the EndSARS protests to leave Nigeria for the US. In this story, she shares her experiences of marriage, finding love and building a new family, and how she managed to purchase a house in the US after just three years.

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

I live in the United States. I left Nigeria in 2022.

What inspired you to leave?

There were a few reasons. I’m queer, so moving somewhere I could live freely was always on my mind. Many of my friends had already left or were planning to leave. But what really pushed me was the EndSARS protests.

How so?

I was working in oil and gas, earning good money. My job was offshore, so I had a one-month-in, one-month-out schedule. That meant I could literally spend a whole month at home without doing much before heading back to the field.

Life felt easy. I could pay people to handle chores, and my salary meant I could afford most things I wanted. I travelled whenever I liked for holidays, but I didn’t really see myself living abroad.

But then I had friends—male colleagues—who would get picked up by police just because they looked a certain way, drove certain cars, or had laptops and phones. We made good money, so we could afford these things, but that made us targets. They would have to pay to be released, even though they could prove their income was legal.

It didn’t happen to me directly. They mostly targeted the guys. But I saw it up close one day. I was on a road trip with friends, driving through Calabar, when the police stopped our bus. They picked on one of my friends simply because he had two laptops.

The police said they would hold him for investigation and told the rest of us to continue our journey. I got down and insisted we weren’t going anywhere without him. I had to make a scene, which is very unlike me because I’m not a confrontational person. After a lot of back and forth, they finally let him go.

That experience showed me that the problem affected everyone. We weren’t exempt just because we had money. So when the protests started, I was really invested. So when it ended the way it did, I knew I had to leave.

So your sexuality didn’t play into your decision to leave? You didn’t face discrimination?

Well, I wasn’t open. Nobody who would discriminate against me knew I was queer. I did tell one colleague—a subordinate I felt close to—but he reacted by trying to preach to me, like older Nigerian men often do.

My siblings know, some of my cousins know, but my parents don’t. I only tell people I think will be okay with it. I avoid situations that could cause drama.

So I didn’t face discrimination directly, but being in the Nigerian gay community, you hear about kito cases. It’s scary and sad. Also, the secrecy makes dating toxic.

What kind of toxicity?

For example, you’ll be with a girl, but she’ll also be with a guy as cover. I know many gay women who married men, and I understand why. Life is already hard as a single woman in Nigeria. Some landlords won’t even rent to you if there’s no man. No matter how comfortable you are, as a single woman in Nigeria, there’s still a level of disrespect.

So I get why some women married men and still wanted girlfriends on the side. But I always knew I wasn’t going to do that. I’ve always wanted to marry a woman.

So how did you travel?

I applied for a master’s degree. One of my brothers was already living in the US, so I applied to universities in his city. I figured I would live with him and save on things like rent. It wasn’t a scholarship; I paid all my fees myself.

How did you afford that?

My base salary was about ₦35 million a year. But when you’re out in the field, they give you an allowance. So during my off months, I lived off the allowance and didn’t touch my base salary.

A friend taught me about investing in stocks, so I did that too. Stock prices were down during the COVID-19 pandemic, allowing me to buy them cheaply. When I was ready to travel, I cashed out some mutual funds to cover tuition and other expenses. I still have most of my stock. I sold some again last year when I bought my house here, just to make up the down payment.

Are you still studying?

No. It was a one-year programme. After that, I got a job with an automobile company, but I was there for less than a year. I hated that job, but luckily, I got poached by my current employer.

What do you do now?

I’m a lead engineer at a research facility.

What made you hate your previous job?

The culture was terrible. There was this toxic competitiveness where everyone was trying to prove they were working harder than the next person.

Do you like your current job?

Absolutely. Since they wanted to poach me, I was able to negotiate things like a flexible schedule. I’m respected and valued. Everyone’s impressed with my work, and I’m not even stressed.

Can you compare working in Nigeria with your current job in the US?

My situation in Nigeria was sort of different. I joined the company through a graduate trainee program, so this meant I was moved around different teams to learn. After that, I was thrown into the field to supervise and manage teams of technicians. This was particularly challenging, partly because of my age and largely because of my gender.

Now, in my current job in the US, I’m also the only woman on the team, leading blue collar men and even though they’re pretty much the same (in terms of attitude, sense of humour, and being lewd), they show me more respect here because they don’t have a choice. I’ve never had to report anyone to HR, but I know if I did, there would be real consequences.

The culture allows them to look beyond the fact that I’m a woman and see my years of experience, knowledge, and skills.

What was it like coming to the US?

Honestly, the first few months sucked. I moved in with my brother, and his city was predominantly white. He had Nigerian friends, but they were mostly straight tech guys. It just wasn’t my crowd. Even though they invited me to hangouts, I felt alone.

I went on a couple of dates, but they didn’t work out. I was unintentionally celibate for six months. Then I met my wife, and we just clicked.

That sounds nice. How did you meet?

We started talking online, but it was on our first date that we really connected. It was at a café. I was late, so she was already inside waiting. I had to parallel park, and the car I was driving was bigger than what I used to drive in Nigeria. My parking was very embarrassing.

I walked in thinking, “I hope this girl didn’t see me.” So I said, “I hope you didn’t see me parking.” She replied, “Nope.” Then burst out laughing. I laughed too. Obviously, she had seen it. But it was such a great way to start, connecting through laughter.

It just felt easy. You know when you meet someone and you vibe instantly? Every day since has been laughter with her.

That sounds truly amazing. But what’s your support system like in the US?

I have some family here. Two of my siblings live in the US, though in a different city now because I had to move for work. My brother was actually the witness at my wedding. I’m hoping to eventually move back closer to them. Right now, we’re about an hour’s flight apart.

I live with my wife and my mother-in-law. I get along really well with my wife’s family. Everyone lives in different states, but we try to get together once or twice a year.

I also have a lot of friends. Even when we can’t meet in person, we talk virtually.

Do you feel any type of way about having a relationship with your wife’s mum, when she can’t with your own parents?

Definitely. It’s something I’m really struggling with right now. We’re thinking about having a child, and I don’t want to confuse the kid or send mixed signals. If my Nigerian family wants to be part of that child’s life, they’ll have to accept that I’m gay.

I’ve been trying to talk to my dad about these things. I haven’t told him I’m gay, but I already know where he stands. This is a man who once told me he likes Trump because “he will stop gay people.”

I always try to see things from other people’s perspectives, so I understand Nigerian Christians being homophobic. But you have to think critically. You have three children in the US, three immigrant children. How does hating queer people outweigh immigration policies that could see your children deported?

I can’t even engage my mum in these conversations because she goes straight to emotional blackmail. I got a dog recently and showed it to her. I said, “You’re a grandma now.” She immediately replied, “No o! I’ll be a grandma to human children.” Then she started talking about finding a husband.

I own my house. I bought it in my third year here. I had to remind my mum that she hadn’t even told me she was proud of me for achieving that. It’s sad comparing that to my mother-in-law, who tells me she loves me every day and is always saying how proud she is of me.

I understand my parents are worried about the shame of family members knowing and what pastors will say. I empathise with them. I know it’ll be very difficult for them, and I feel sorry for them. But I’m going to come out next year whether they like it or not.

Wishing you the best of luck with that. I hope they find their way to accept it. Let’s change gears a bit. What do you do for fun?

Sometimes we go out to shows and concerts. There are nice restaurants around, too. But I’m more of an indoor person now. In Nigeria, I used to enjoy going to strip clubs. When I see people clubbing online, I miss it, but I’m old now, please. If I go out till 11 pm, I need an entire day to recover.

So we do more indoor activities. We each have a hobby room in our house. My wife is into science fiction media and games, so that’s what you’ll find in her space. She’s always trying to get me to play games with her, but I’m not a gamer.

In Nigeria, I learnt to sew while I was in university, so I use my hobby room for that. I’m always creating new designs. I also take care of my house plants. I have over seventy of them, so something always needs watering or pruning.

It’s definitely not like Nigeria. It’s more boring. I miss things like Detty December so much. But this is fun in its own way.

Speaking of Detty December, have you been to Nigeria since you travelled?

Unfortunately, not. I just need to sort out my immigration status. Hopefully, next year, my papers will be sorted and I’ll come down for a visit.

Fingers crossed. Would you consider settling in Nigeria at some point in the future?

No. I’m married to a woman.

There’s a version of events where we move away from the US because we don’t feel comfortable here with everything happening. But we’ll likely end up in Europe. Wherever we go, it has to be somewhere our marriage will be recognised. That’s the most important thing.

Let’s talk about culture shocks. Were there any you experienced when you moved to the US?

The major thing for me was the food. Honestly, I found the food disgusting. There’s sugar in places you don’t expect sugar to be.

Have you gotten used to it, or do you just cook Nigerian food?

I cook Nigerian food. But it’s expensive. For example, I can’t find goat meat locally, so I have to have it shipped every time.

How does your wife find Nigerian food?

Okay, I guess. She doesn’t like a lot of it, but she’ll eat some.

Being here has made me realise some things about our food, though. For instance, how it all looks the same. I’ll ask my wife to help me take out my egusi from the fridge, and she’ll say, “Which one is that?” I’ll reply, “The brown one.” Then she’ll say, “They’re all brown!” And when you think about it, it’s true. They’re all brown.

Also, it never occurred to me how pungent things like iru and ofada are. The smells fill the whole house. Anyway, she eats some of my food, I eat some of hers, and if I don’t like what she’s made, I always have something Nigerian in the fridge.

Let’s talk about highlights and low lights. What has been your worst experience in the US?

The job with the automobile company. Nothing crazy happened, but the culture was off. You’d see people on the 8 am to 4 pm shift working till 2 am.

I was there for less than a year and had four different managers. Some were fired, some quit. They would literally fire people and walk them out of the building in the middle of a shift. It was just a weird place. Definitely my worst experience. I knew within three months that I was going to leave as soon as possible. That wasn’t the type of job I wanted at all.

That does sound toxic. What has been your best experience in the US?

Meeting my wife, getting married, and building this life for myself.

The reason I can even think about coming out to my parents now is because I’m in this safe relationship. If I didn’t feel like I was in something I’d have forever, I’d be afraid to come out. Because what if it didn’t work out?

But being safe in my marriage, knowing this is my family and the life I’m building, gives me strength. Never in my wildest imagination did I think I would have something like this as a lesbian woman. So yes, my marriage is the best experience of my life.

Sounds blissful. But let’s see if we can put a number to it. On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in the US—and why?

I’ll say eight. In my personal life, it feels like a ten. Maybe even twenty over ten, to be honest. I feel so much safety, love, and acceptance.

But in the US as a whole, living as a black woman and an immigrant isn’t easy. I haven’t really suffered direct discrimination, and I’m fortunate to be able to apply for my green card through my wife. But I know people who got sponsored by their jobs only to be laid off and stranded.

Even if you’re not directly affected, you see and hear what’s happening to other Nigerians here. People detained by ICE, and partners creating GoFundMes to help them out. It all feels heavy.

It’s heavy being in this country. But I also feel like it’s not just here. Look at all the things happening in Nigeria this week. There’s a lot going on in the world right now. That’s why I say eight. My personal life is good, but there’s so much happening outside of that, and you can’t really isolate yourself.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me here. For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

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Collins (36) always believed in his potential. After he walked away from Igba Boy and put himself through University, he found that Nigeria stifled that potential, so he moved to the UK. In this story, he shares the differences between life in Nigeria and the UK, the culture shocks, and how childbirth and parenthood feel vastly different in the UK.

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

I live in the United Kingdom now. I left Nigeria in 2022.

What inspired you to leave?

I just felt like I wasn’t reaching my full potential in Nigeria. I had an unconventional path, and I was determined to do better for myself. So when it started to feel like I couldn’t achieve the things I wanted back home, I decided to go where I could.

You said you had an unconventional path. Could you explain?

After secondary school, I didn’t go straight to university. I spent four years in the Igbo business apprenticeship system we call Igba Boy.

I still remember the night I finished my last secondary school exam. My dad sat me down and told me I wouldn’t be going to university. He just couldn’t afford it. So in 2005, I went to serve a master at Balogun Market in Lagos. I was there until 2009.

The usual agreement was to serve for seven years, after which your master would “settle” you with a fully stocked shop and some capital, about ₦2 million back then, which was a lot. But we had a falling out, so I left after four years.

What happened?

I’d managed to save about ₦38,000, and he found out. He said the money was his because, in his words, “whatever belongs to the boy belongs to the master.” I didn’t agree. So we parted ways. That meant I wouldn’t get the full settlement, but I’d already made up my mind. My heart was never really in it. I wanted to go to school.

In the end, he gave me ₦250,000. I added that to my savings and used it to put myself through school. I wrote the General Certificate of Education (GCE) and Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination (UTME) exams and got into Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU).

That’s impressive. When did you start feeling like you weren’t meeting your potential?

Almost immediately after my National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) service year. I moved back to Lagos with some savings and stayed with a friend, but the money started running out fast. I was applying for jobs and getting nothing. It was frustrating. That wasn’t how I pictured my life.

I started thinking, “What if people laugh at me?” Like, I left Igba Boy to go to school, and now I’m unemployed. If I’d stayed, I’d probably have my own shop by now, with boys under me.

Eventually, I got a job at an insurance company in 2018. The starting salary was just ₦40,000. And from what I saw of the office politics, I knew I wouldn’t go far there.

At that same time, a friend got a job abroad with one of the Big Four. That was my lightbulb moment. I thought, “I need to leave this country.” So I started saving and applying to schools abroad.

How did that go?

I actually got into a German university on a scholarship. But it didn’t work out.

I did the first year remotely from Nigeria because of COVID-19 travel restrictions. By the second year, I was supposed to move to Germany, but even though the scholarship covered tuition, I had to fund my travel and show €10,000 as proof of funds. I didn’t have that kind of money, so I dropped out.

Luckily, I’d met my wife-to-be around that time. We were both planning to japa, so we decided to work on it together.

Did you get married in Nigeria?

Yes, we did. We even had our first child there. After the wedding, we agreed she’d go to school while I worked. She got a partial tuition fee scholarship to a UK university, so we moved, and I found a job.

What do you do now?

Finance. When we got here, we had mentors who advised us. I told them I had experience in programme management and insurance, and they said, “Go into finance. That’s where the money is.”

So that’s what I did. I’m working now and also doing my certifications. I’ve finished Association of Accounting Technicians (AAT) Level 2 and Level 3 certifications, and I’m currently on Level 4, working towards becoming a Member of the Association of Accounting Technicians (MAAT). That’s a designation that you’re a qualified accounting technician in the UK. Afterwards, I’ll start my Associate Chartered Accountant (ACA) certification with the Institute of Chartered Accountants in England and Wales (ICAEW) to become chartered.

Nice. Have you been back to Nigeria since you left?

Nope.

Any plans to return?

Maybe for a visit. But definitely not to stay.

So the UK is home now. What’s your support system like?

We have Nigerian friends around, but I was intentional about not relying only on the Nigerian community. We’ve made friends from other countries, too. Honestly, I’ve been let down more by Nigerians here than by others.

For example, I tried joining a group in my church, but it felt like we were always being asked to contribute money for one thing or the other. And it was just one guy pushing it. I got tired and left.

Are there many Nigerians where you live?

Oh yes. We live in one of the most diverse cities in the UK. There are lots of Nigerians and Indians, especially. So the Nigerian community here is big.

But one thing we noticed early on is that there’s this culture where Nigerians who’ve been here longer expect some kind of special respect from new arrivals.

So, you had a kid in Nigeria and another in the UK. How do those experiences compare?

They’re worlds apart. In the UK, it’s not just about the mother and baby; they actually care about the man too.

During antenatal visits, they ask the man, “How are you coping? How are you dealing with this? Do you need help? Do you need counselling?” They even gather all the men in one room to teach us how to support our wives. They ask about financial pressure and, if you’re struggling, they’ll tell you where to get free food like milk and eggs.

They also check if your house is suitable for a newborn. They’ll come around to inspect things like mold on the walls, and if they find any, they’ll contact the council to fix it.

Counsellors randomly call just to check in. At first, I found it invasive. But it really helps you prepare mentally. Having a child is a big deal. So it’s really great that there’s actual support to help men be in the right shape to then support their wives through it.

The biggest difference is the structure. As long as you have paid the annual NHS surcharge, all healthcare services, including childbirth, are covered. Each family gets their own suite. I was surprised when I followed my wife to the hospital and there was a couch-bed for me too.

They also offer after-birth support. They come to check on the mother and baby to make sure she’s not dealing with postpartum depression.

In Nigeria, once you’ve paid your bill and been discharged, that’s it. Goodbye. Let the next person come in. It’s like a factory. Come in, push out your baby, move on.

If I had to sum it up, I’d say Nigeria is still very far behind. So very far.

The UK childbirth experience sounds better. But what about raising the child?

That depends on what you’re looking at.

My wife and I both work. Here, the man gets about four to six weeks paid leave, and the mother gets around nine months to care for the child.

My mother-in-law came to help for six months, but she had to return before her visa expired. So we had to start taking the child to a nursery, which is very expensive. It’s not like Nigeria, where you can easily get help from your mum, sister, or a paid assistant.

But my eldest, who’s in school, goes for free. And if there’s any health issue, you just take the child to the hospital for free. Children under seven don’t pay for NHS services.

So yeah, it’s easier in some ways and harder in others.

They say it takes a village to raise a child. Does being far from extended family in Nigeria bother you?

Honestly, no. It does take a village, but I feel like we have that village here. It’s just made up of different people.

If anything happens to your child or someone reports something, that’s when you realise there’s a whole community looking out for them.

At school, teachers and counsellors don’t just talk about academics. They talk to the children about their welfare and home life. They reason with them like they’re adults.

So yeah, the community here is different. In Nigeria, the support system is family-based. Here, there’s a different type of family that doesn’t share blood with you, but they’re invested in your child’s wellbeing.

Recently, there’s been a lot of anti-migration talk in the West. Does that make you uncomfortable?

Yes and no. My wife has actually been worried. You come here with plans to stay long enough to get Indefinite Leave to Remain (ILR), and then you start hearing far-right people saying they might scrap it. It’s scary to think they can just take something away that you’ve spent time and money chasing.

But me, I’m not too bothered. When I first got here, a lot of people told me to go into care work. I refused. As a matter of principle, I will not come here and basically be a slave for white people after my ancestors were already brought here in chains. My ancestors didn’t wear shackles so I could come and wash infirm white people just to get ILR.

People said I had an ego. But it’s not ego. I just believe labour is capital. I want to develop myself to the point where I have the skills to be a global citizen. So I’m focused on becoming a chartered accountant.

Even if regular people don’t know it, the politicians do. They know they can’t survive without skilled migrants. If not, countries like China will leave them behind, and they’ll become irrelevant in the global economy.

They need skilled migration. All this anti-immigrant talk is just politics.

That may be true, but that kind of politics creates tension. Have you or your family experienced racism?

No, but I think that’s because we live in a very diverse city. I’ve heard stories from people who live in mostly white areas.

What were your biggest culture shocks when you moved?

People actually obey the law. I mean the small things like traffic lights. On buses, there are seats for old people, people with disabilities, or those carrying children. If you sit there and you’re not supposed to, the driver will stop the bus and tell you to stand up. You either find another seat or you stand and hold the railing.

Another shock was at work. In Nigeria, every superior is “oga” or “sir.” Here, you call your boss by their first name. You can correct their mistakes too. They actually expect and want you to. Try that in Nigeria and see what happens.

They also don’t care much about religion. As a Christian, I feel like the odd one out. In Nigeria, if you say “Jesus is not real,” people will look at you like you’re mad. Here, it’s the opposite. If you say “Jesus is real,” that’s when people will look at you funny.

I was also shocked by how open people are about their sexuality. I remember being in London and seeing two men kissing passionately in public.

Also, they don’t believe it’s only the man’s job to provide. I was talking to a colleague about mortgages, and he said, “Your wife lives in the house too, so she should pay her share.” They split bills and chores. If the woman does the dishes and laundry, the man takes out the bins and vacuums.

There’s this strong sense of responsibility. If you use something, you contribute. One time, I bought coffee for the office at Tesco. Next thing, people started dropping money on my desk. In Nigeria, they’d just watch you and label you the mugu who’ll keep giving them free coffee forever.

Another thing I noticed is that white colleagues will gist with you in the office about things like sports, weather, and family life, but never politics or religion. And in public, they act like they don’t know you. They’ll see you and look away.

I had to address it during a team meeting. I told them, “If I greet you in public and you ignore me, don’t bother talking to me in the office.” Since then, they greet me when they see me outside.

Going to church was another surprise. We’re Catholic. In Nigeria, mass is at least two hours. Our first mass here lasted just 45 minutes. We were shocked.

It sounds like a very different life compared to Nigeria. On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in the UK—and why?

It’s a ten.

First, peace of mind. I remember calling emergency services for my child. Within minutes, an ambulance, two police cars, and a private car with a doctor showed up. Another time, my neighbour called about a fire, and four fire trucks came.

Second, this is a country that works. I’m not even a citizen yet, but I’m allowed to vote. I know my local representative. I have the number for their office, and I can call if I’m not happy about anything. I once wrote to the council asking for a breakdown of how my taxes were being spent. Two days later, they sent me a full report.

So yeah, I’m really happy here. It’s definitely a ten.

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Adedotun (27) left Nigeria for the UK in 2023 to pursue a master’s degree. In this story, he shares how he worked as a bartender, waiter, steward, and cleaner to keep up with bills while studying, and how the UK now allows him to work at a higher level as a software engineer than he could back home.

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

I live in Scotland now. I left Nigeria in 2023.

What inspired you to leave?

Leaving Nigeria was always part of the plan. When I was in secondary school, my elder brother travelled after his National Youth Service, and he’s now a Canadian citizen. The idea was for me to follow a similar path.

I considered Canada like my brother, but I eventually chose the UK because it’s closer to Nigeria.

So how did you travel?

I got admitted to a master’s programme. I was already applying to schools during my youth service. I got multiple offers and accepted the one from the University of Salford in Manchester.

I was supposed to resume in September but deferred till January. I finished service in June 2022 and left Nigeria in January 2023.

What was it like when you got to the UK?

Luckily, I had a support system waiting for me in Manchester. My dad did his doctorate at Salford, so he had friends there. I also have a distant uncle who lives in Manchester. So I already had a small community to support me, and I’m really grateful for that.

I’m also grateful that my parents could pay my school fees in full and cover my rent for the first six months. But I knew I had to get a job because after that, I’d need to start paying my bills myself.

How did you manage that?

A family friend showed me how to apply for part-time jobs. When I saw the types of jobs available, I was hesitant. They were mostly in hospitality or care; in Nigeria, I was already working professionally as a software engineer, so I wanted to continue doing that in the UK.

But as a student, you can only work 20 hours a week. You can’t take on a full-time job. Sadly, I couldn’t get a part-time software engineering gig.

After several rejections, I accepted my reality and applied for hospitality jobs.

What kind of jobs did you do?

I was a waiter, bartender, cleaner, and steward.

Wow. That’s a lot. So how did that work?

There are job agencies with apps you can download. You basically pick different shifts during the week. It’s first come, first served, so once the shifts drop, you have to be fast to grab the ones you want.

Like I said, you can’t work more than 20 hours on a student visa, so you’re just trying to stack shifts without crossing that limit. You might do eight hours bartending, five hours stewarding, three hours cleaning, and four hours waiting tables—all in one week. Just make sure it doesn’t go past 20 hours.

What was it like doing these jobs?

Bartending was the most fun. I don’t drink, but it was nice learning how to mix drinks and pour a pint of beer. There’s an art to it, and I enjoyed learning that.

I also got to meet lots of people. The job involves a lot of talking, and I really enjoyed the conversations.

Stewarding was mostly standing. Funny enough, even though those shifts were the shortest, I always felt more exhausted after them.

I was on my feet a lot while bartending, but I was moving around. With stewarding, you’re just standing in one spot, and that felt more straining to me.

You meet people too, but there’s less time to chat because you’re focused on the crowd. You’re scanning tickets, doing crowd control, and sometimes giving directions, which was hard for me because I didn’t know my way around well enough yet. You also have to stay alert because of the security aspect. We got training on how to spot suspicious activity.

Stewarding was a mixed bag. I still remember scanning tickets in the cold for so long that when it was time to sign out, my hands were trembling so much I couldn’t write my signature.

I only did the cleaning job twice. The second shift was wild. The place was so dirty, so messy, I don’t even have the words to describe it properly.

It was supposed to be a four-hour shift, but we spent seven hours and still couldn’t get the place spotless. When I got home, I just lay down and started thinking about my life. I asked myself, “What did I actually come to this UK to do?”

But it was an eye-opener. I always knew it, but that experience really helped me internalise that there’s dignity in labour. So when I was doing those jobs, I wasn’t sad. I knew it was temporary. I just had to hold on till I finished school, then I could chase the career I really wanted.

So what do you do now?

I’m back to working as a software engineer.

To finish my master’s, I had three options: internship, entrepreneurship, or dissertation. I chose the internship route because I wanted UK work experience. Luckily, I landed an internship with an amazing company. It was unpaid, but I was just happy to have something solid to put on my CV.

Even after I graduated, I asked the CEO if I could keep working unpaid until I got a job. He agreed. Eventually, I got my current job, which moved me to Scotland, where I live now.

So you’ve worked as a software engineer in Nigeria and the UK. Can you compare the experiences?

Working in the UK is way better. Here, there are proper processes and standards.

In Nigeria, I worked with some cool startups, but I also had some rough experiences.

I remember telling a CEO I worked for that I’d just lost my sister and my brother was in intensive care, so I wouldn’t be able to work for a few days. He told me to use work as a distraction instead.

There are a lot of founders in Nigeria who aren’t genuine. They’ll say they want to build a fintech app to change the world, but really, they just want to make quick money. They’ll stress you, have you working day and night, barely sleeping. But when it’s time to pay, they start telling stories.

But I also met some great people. So I’m not saying the whole startup scene in Nigeria is bad. It’s a mix. You meet amazing people, and you meet people who just want to use you.

In the UK, you don’t see things like that because there are actual rules and regulations. You can’t just talk to someone anyhow. If you mess with someone’s mental health, they can sue you or report you to a regulatory body.

So it’s not that the people here are just good people; it’s that even if someone wanted to be bad, they can’t afford to. The system here holds people accountable.

There was a time when I finished a task and messaged my CTO around 2 a.m. to say I’d just wrapped it up. He was awake and replied, “Oh, thank you. Please get some sleep.” He hadn’t asked me to work that late; I just wanted to finish it. But he still told me to rest. That’s the kind of difference you see here.

Do you plan to live in the UK permanently, or is there a possibility of coming back to Nigeria?

Even if it’s not permanent, I’ll be here for a long time. I want to establish myself professionally, and for that to happen, I need an environment that doesn’t slow me down.

In Nigeria, I’d have work to do, and the internet would be down because the telecom companies are unreliable. Sometimes there’d be no light, and once my laptop battery dies, that’s it.

Here, I don’t have to worry about those things. And those little things add up to make a huge difference. The environment here allows me to push myself and work at a higher level than I could in Nigeria.

It’s not easy being away from your family, the people you’ve lived with your whole life. But I’m trying to be more intentional about seeing them.

I really miss my parents. My dad and eldest brother visited in 2024 for my graduation, but I still miss them. I haven’t been back to Nigeria since I moved.

It helps that we talk often. My mum calls me every morning and evening without fail. I speak to my dad and brothers every week. But I’m working towards going home soon to see them.

There’s been a rise in anti-immigration sentiment in the West. Does that make you feel uncomfortable?

Yeah, it does. Sometimes it’s upsetting. But I think about the people around me; the locals I know here are fine. I don’t get bad vibes from them.

It’s the stuff in the news and on social media that’s disturbing. There’s so much misinformation. You hear people saying the government is giving immigrants apartments while citizens are waiting for social housing. That’s just not true.

Immigrants here aren’t entitled to public funds. So when you see immigrants in nice houses, it’s because they worked hard to get them.

They say immigrants are taking their jobs. How? You apply, I apply. We go through the same interview process, and the best person gets the job. And there are even jobs, like care work for example, that you mostly see immigrants doing because the citizens don’t want to do them.

Recently, they’ve been talking about making the rules stricter and making sure immigrants speak English before coming in. That’s part of the misinformation. If you’re coming for school, you already have to prove you were taught in English. If you’re coming for work, you write the IELTS exam to get visa points.

So why are you saying you’ll enforce something that’s already in place? Why are you saying immigrants won’t be entitled to benefits when we were never entitled to them in the first place?

Unfortunately, a lot of politicians don’t bother correcting the misinformation because they want to use public sentiment to get votes.

That’s really unfortunate. Let’s lighten the mood. What kind of activities do you do for fun?

I’m not really an outside person. I mostly play video games or scroll through social media. But one time, I decided to be intentional about having fun. I invited my colleagues over and cooked for them. I also go bowling sometimes. But yeah, I’m mostly indoors.

What culture shocks did you experience when you moved to the UK?

The Scottish accent threw me off at first. It’s very different from the regular English accent.

I don’t know if this counts as culture shock or just how things work in a functioning society, but it took me a while to stop feeling like if I didn’t buy something immediately, the price would go up next time. I’ve realised that’s just a Nigerian thing.

Another shocker was the food; UK food is bland. They don’t use spices like we do in Nigerian food, so I play it safe and cook most of my meals myself.

I knew the winters were supposed to be cold, but it was still colder than I expected. I arrived in January 2023, right in the middle of winter. My mum gave me a really good winter jacket, but I had this suede jacket I loved.

So when I first arrived, a friend was taking me to the bank to set up my account, and I wanted to show off, so I wore the suede jacket. I couldn’t believe the cold that hit me that day. Since then, I’ve been using the winter jacket.

Oh, and another shock: banks are open on Saturdays.

Let’s talk about highlights and lowlights. What have been your best and worst experiences in the UK?

My worst experience was definitely the cleaning job.

My best experience was graduating with distinction. Another high point was getting my job. That period was tough, so I was really happy when it came through.

I’d gotten loads of rejections and done interviews that led nowhere. Funny enough, I thought the interview for this job didn’t go well, but it ended up being the one that worked out.

On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you and why?

I’d say eight. I’m finally doing the things I’ve always wanted to do, both professionally and personally. I’m exploring other interests like music and 3D animation. I just have more control over my life now. I feel free, like I can take my life into my own hands and make something out of it.

It’s not a ten because I’m still trying to break out of my current routine.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me here. For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

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Dayo (34)* was bored with his job in oil and gas, so he left a ₦50 million salary to pursue a master’s in the US. In this story, he shares how the difficulties of settling in drove him to therapy, how he navigates subtle racism, and how the uncertainties of the Japa lifestyle are affecting his love life.

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

I live in the United States (US), and I left Nigeria in 2023.

What inspired you to leave?

I wanted to get a taste of life outside Nigeria. I was getting bored with my job, even though it would be a dream job for a lot of people. I also wanted to earn in a different currency.

What did you do in Nigeria?

I worked in oil and gas. I was making over ₦50 million annually.

Wow. Leaving all that behind must have been a really big decision. How did your friends and family take the news?

My family was really supportive. My friends were really supportive too. Many of them were leaving Nigeria around the same time.

It was on the professional front that I got some negativity. I noticed my bosses at work started behaving funny; they stopped involving me in important projects during my last year in Nigeria. I guess they were considering me a flight risk.

You said some of your friends also left Nigeria. Did that play a part in your decision?

I don’t think so. Most of them moved to the UK, and I never considered the UK as an option. The type of schools I wanted to go to are not in the UK. So it was always going to be the US for me.

Maybe they played a small part in inspiring my journey, but I make my own decisions.

So you came to the US to study?

Yes. I am doing a master’s programme.

You said your friends moved to the UK. So what is your support system like in the US?

I am still building community. It has been tough because there are not a lot of Black people where I live. The first few months were really hard. It felt like I uprooted my life and had to start again in a new place where nobody knows me. I had to talk to a therapist for the first time just to process it.

But I am starting to build community now, and things are better compared to when I first got here.

Did therapy help?

Yes, it did. People talk a lot about mental health these days, but I did not know just how important it was until I moved to the US.

I was struggling to find my own people, struggling to find my way around. I did not have any friends here. I was trying to secure some professional opportunities, and that was not working out either. So I was having a really hard time.

In Nigeria, I would probably be in the top five or top two per cent of applicants for any job I applied for, but here, everyone is also super bright.

Back in Nigeria, I did not need to speak in a certain way, but here I have to modify how I speak for people to understand me. I was also never really aware of being a Black person until I got here.

It was all of these things that made me want to talk to someone, so I do not go crazy.

I talked to a life coach once in Nigeria after someone broke my heart, and it helped, so I just thought, since these resources are here, let me give it a shot. So I tried therapy.

Therapy helped me see things clearly and realise I needed to cut myself some slack. I made a big move, and I should just breathe more and give myself time to adapt. It helped me start to figure things out.

But I stopped after a while because I did not want to become dependent on it as a coping mechanism.

You said you are building a community now. What does that look like?

I have a few friends now that I get along with quite well. I can share my unfiltered thoughts with them without fear of judgment.

I think it is different for people coming here as undergrads. They are still in their twenties, still forming their views on life. They are more flexible. Coming here in your thirties, like I did, is not as flexible.

So I am really glad to have people who accept me. We are mostly in the same age range, and I do not need to change or fake a personality to be around them. I can be my authentic self, and I really like that.

Are your core group of friends Nigerians, or is it a multinational group?

Not Nigerians, but Africans. There are not a lot of Nigerians where I live. But I have noticed that with people, like poles attract. The people you easily mingle with are people who look like you.

I mean, of course, there are maybe Asians or Latin Americans I am friends with, but most people in my network are Africans. They are the ones who really understand my frame of reference and get my perspective.

Are you working alongside your studies?

No, I am not. The only type of work I would like to do is something that adds to my professional experience in my career. So it would have to be a white-collar role.

I say this with all humility and respect to people who are able to do it, but I do not think I can do any hospitality or care work or anything like that.

I cannot do any work that does not align with the career I am trying to build. I am an older guy now, and I already did that type of work when I was younger in Nigeria. So now, if it is not something that ties in with my career goals or maybe a research assistant role with a professor, I am not going to do it.

I have not found anything that fits what I am looking for yet, so I am not working. I am just studying.

What are your plans for after school?

There are a lot of uncertainties for me. I guess I could try to work here, but the job market is tight. The big companies seem to be making more cuts every day because of Artificial Intelligence (AI).

Packing up, and going back to Nigeria might also be hard because I have student loans to pay here. So it is all still in the air.

Have you visited Nigeria since you travelled?

I would have gone crazy if I had not.

Nigeria is literally the only place I can go to now where they will not ask me the purpose of my visit. It is the only place I can go to anytime I want. I do not need to have already booked a hotel or present one million documents first.

It is freeing. It is liberating. It is home. It is good for your mental health to go home once in a while.

So, yes, I was in Lagos for about a week last summer. And I will still go again very soon. The trip is expensive, but it is good for me.

Would you consider resettling in Nigeria permanently?

I plan to settle down in Nigeria, but not soon. Well, it depends on the opportunity. This probably will not be a popular take with your readers, but I am not crazy about getting a second passport. It is just not something I am really working towards.

I get that it is good to have. It gives you access to other parts of the world, but I think I am fairly well-travelled already, even with just my Nigerian passport. I hear people say it is hell to travel with a Nigerian passport, but that has not been my experience. Maybe I am not exactly an “average Nigerian.” I have valid visas for the countries I would want to go to.

But after my master’s programme, it is unlikely I will get an opportunity in Nigeria that pays the kind of salary I want. So I think I would need to work here, or maybe in Europe for a while, get my coins up, try to make a dent in my student loans, and then I can come home.

But while I am here, I will be visiting Nigeria as often as I can.

Does the uncertainty about your future affect your ability to plan or start long-term relationships?

That is a very good question. I actually wish I had settled down earlier before making this journey. It would be nice to be doing this with someone instead of on my own.

There is actually someone I am talking to in Nigeria at the moment. And when I think about the way things were for me in Nigeria, if I were still there, I could get married right now and know I would be able to provide a decent life for my family. But now it is really tough because I am not sure where I am going to be in the near future.

And if I do stay here, I am not ready to take on the cost of moving them out here. I am not sure I want to put all of that investment into it unless they decide to move on their own.

I think relationships work best if you are already married and you japa together. Otherwise, it can be difficult.

You mentioned becoming very aware of your race when you moved to the US. Was there a reason for that? Have you experienced discrimination?

From a professional standpoint, they discount your work experience from Nigeria. Some roles will clearly state that only applicants with US experience will be considered.

Other than that, I do not think I have experienced direct racism. Maybe the closest thing was when a classmate said I look dangerous. She caught herself afterwards and tried to apologise and be friendly. I do not have an intimidating physique, so I feel that just came from whatever prejudices she holds about people who look like me.

I have also noticed that immigrants like myself are not very good at spotting racism like the Black Americans, for example. They have been here all their lives, and they know all the subtleties, so they can spot racism even when it is passive and call it out.

What were the biggest culture shocks when you moved to the US?

I think it is that Black and White division. When applying for jobs, I make a point to look at companies’ websites. I don’t know what I expected, but the fact that white people are majorly at the top of the professional and social hierarchy here shocked me. I knew there were disparities here, but I did not expect it would be this big.

Also, the US is so big. You cannot get anywhere without a car. It is not like back home where you will just quickly enter danfo or keke. That was a real shock for a Lagos boy like me. If you do not have a car, you have to order Uber and that gets expensive pretty quickly.

Let us talk about highlights and lowlights. What would you say has been your worst experience in the US?

My first winter here was really depressing; I did not go anywhere. People travelled and I was just alone in my dorm room. I missed that sense of community that comes with living in Nigeria, where even if you do not have money or anywhere to go, at least one neighbour would do something for Christmas and you could just go there.

I did not really have that. I was mostly alone that Christmas. It was terrible. I do not want to experience that again.

What has been your best experience?

My best experience was when I was able to leave the US and travel back home. It was a really low point for me, so I really needed that. I visited Nigeria and some other African countries. It was great.

How would you sum up your experience in the US so far?

It has been humbling. It has been eye-opening. I am humbled because I realise I am no longer like a local champion. Now I feel like a small fish in a big pond. That was hard to adjust to mentally.

I know I am really good at what I do, but I have come to accept that here, there are many people who are just as good or better. So it has been humbling in that sense.

Do you regret leaving Nigeria?

I do not know, to be honest. I think it has certainly been a downgrade in my lifestyle. For instance, my place here is smaller than where I could afford to live in Nigeria. In Nigeria, I could hire people to do chores for me, like cooking for example.

Now I also have to start thinking about financing student loans. I never had to worry about something like that in Nigeria.

So it has been a downgrade. But I know that it is only temporary. So I would not say that I regret it. I would say it is too early to call. We will find out. Ask me again after I have been here for longer.

Maybe we will talk again sometime. How happy would you say you are on a scale of one to ten? And why?

If you had asked me during my first three months here, I would have said a two out of ten. Everything was so new and I think I was depressed. But now, I would say six out of ten. I have more of a community here now. And getting to leave the US and visit Nigeria made me feel recharged.

It is not a higher number because of the uncertainty around what is next for me after I graduate. I cannot tell you where I will be in the next nine months. I have always been able to predict a lot of what my journey would look like, but now I do not have any idea.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me here. For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

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The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.

Ken (49) left Nigeria almost twenty years ago. In that time, he has lived through multiple waves of anti-immigration sentiment in the West. He shares how having a tough skin helped him navigate racist environments, and why he is not considering a return to Nigeria.

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

I live in England currently, but I have also lived in other parts of the United Kingdom (UK). I left Nigeria in 2006, 19 years ago.

Was that your first time leaving Nigeria?

No. I used to travel around. I had been to the UK a few times for holidays and visiting friends, but 2006 was when I moved here permanently.

What inspired you to leave?

I just wanted more for my life, that is the truth. I got my first degree in Nigeria, and I felt like I had gotten a certificate but not an education. I wanted more than just that paper. I wanted global exposure. The idea of being a global citizen was really appealing to me.

What was life like for you in Nigeria?

It was okay. I made money, but it was not fulfilling. I worked in the banking sector, and I invested aggressively during my early days. So by the time I started thinking about moving abroad, I did not need my salary anymore. I was really comfortable, and my investments were yielding more than enough to take care of me.

So I thought, “Oh, I think I need a lot more for myself.” That was what pushed me to leave. I applied for a master’s in the UK.

I still remember when I got my visa. I got it in late October, and school had already resumed in September. I was almost too late to resume. After getting my visa, I had to get to the UK within 48 hours.

Wow. How did you make it?

I basically just left everything. I said to my girlfriend, “Look, girl, I am leaving. You can have my whole house to yourself with everything in it.” I changed my money. I think it was two hundred naira to a pound back then. Then I got on a flight to the UK.

What was the early experience like?

I was really focused on school and work. My master’s took about two years to complete. During that time, I had internships with some companies to get “UK experience” because the companies here do not recognise whatever experience you are coming with from Nigeria.

While I did not like starting from ground zero, I looked at it as coming in on a clean slate. So I just took on every opportunity to learn and relearn. I did not only do my master’s courses, but I also got some other certifications to make myself ready for the UK job market. About six months after I graduated, I got a job at EDF Energy.

Would you say the move to the UK has been a good decision so far?

Yes. It was a good move because of the professional exposure I have gotten. My move to the UK took me to a whole new level in terms of what I could achieve technically. I went to places I never imagined I would. Like getting to work underneath a nuclear reactor. I was doing stuff I never imagined I could. It was like my technical capabilities exploded. I was pushing myself beyond my normal boundaries because of the work I did, the people I met, and the opportunities I had.

But it was tough. It was not a walk in the park. There were good times and bad times, but overall, I would say it was a good move.

Sounds like you have had quite the career. What are you up to now?

Like I said, technically, I have pushed myself beyond my boundaries and achieved a lot of great projects in those companies I worked for. So I felt it was time for me to pivot and start doing things for myself. Right now, I consult on a contract basis.

We have talked about your professional life in the UK. But what about your personal life? What is your support system like?

My support system is my family. That is my wife and three kids. Due to my continuous travelling, two of my kids were actually born in the United States (US) during the time we lived there.

After my contracts in the US were completed, we moved back to the UK, and I have built a tight unit of friends who have the same mindset as me in terms of career plans and business, and also socially. So that is my support system.

Your girlfriend joined you in the UK?

No. I met my wife in the UK. My relationship with my girlfriend in Nigeria did not work out. We tried long-distance for a while, with me coming to Nigeria whenever I could, but it did not work out in the end.

After that, I met my wife in the UK. She had also come from Nigeria to study. We met at an event at a mutual friend’s house, and we started a friendship that eventually turned into a relationship. She initially wanted to finish her studies and go back to Nigeria. But after her studies, we got engaged and then married here in the UK.

She is more Nigeria-focused than I am, but I think along the way, she came to see the value of life in the UK. I think she is starting to see the UK as her home a lot more now, after all these years.

You mentioned your children being born in the US while you lived there. Where else have you lived?

Apart from the UK, I have stayed in the US, France, and Germany. Those are the countries I have lived in for work for long periods. I have been to many other countries for shorter periods, too.

Do you have a favourite?

I would say the US, Texas specifically. The environment just appeals to me. But my wife does not like it there because of the gun laws.

While we are talking about different countries, let us talk about Nigeria. Have you been back since you left?

Yes. I have business there from time to time, so that brings me back often.

Is there a possibility of a permanent return?

No, I do not think so. Not in the current state of things in the country. If I am going to retire permanently in Africa at some point, there are other countries on the continent I am considering.

There are other African countries that have much better situations economically, and in terms of security and safety, which is very important to me.

I get contracts to offer my expertise in many different countries. Nigeria is one of those countries. So for me, it is just a place to do business. Whenever I am done with business, I leave.

Does the current anti-immigration sentiment in the UK make you uncomfortable?

The immigrant journey is never a straightforward one. I see all this anti-immigration talk in Western countries now, but I have seen it play out before. Back around the time I first moved here, there were all these really frustrating policies imposed on immigrants for no just reason. I passed through all that.

Also, it was quite an expensive journey, and you find yourself having to depend on people and systems that make you compromise and endure certain things. You might be in a toxic workplace, and because you are an immigrant, you just have to endure it.

There will be positions you are qualified for and should get, but you will not because they are designated for British passport holders only. I was in a tough spot because my work involved a lot of travel, and that was really difficult when I first came here.

Documentation at the time limited my ability to travel. So there are a lot of limits to your opportunities as an immigrant, especially in the early periods. But you just have to get through those periods.

That has to be a little frustrating, right?

It is frustrating because I feel like they do not appreciate the value that immigration brings to their countries. And unfortunately, the Western media does not help because they feed them wrong narratives. Many people do not think critically and just swallow whatever propaganda they get fed, then run to the streets with it.

The fact that they do not reason critically, and it leads to this anti-immigration rhetoric being pushed around, is what makes me uncomfortable. But the truth is that they cannot do without immigrants. It is like they do not want us around, but they also need us.

There are so many occupations, roles, and parts of the economy that would collapse if they stopped immigration. They cannot do without it. So I would just say that immigrants coming to the West have to be prepared for what they are going to face. Do not allow yourself to be surprised by it.

With some of the new laws and policies making life really difficult, do you think immigrants are getting a fair deal?

What feels fair depends on each person and what they want and expect. You need to have a long-term strategy.

As I said earlier, I was comfortable in Nigeria before I came to the UK. I was financially independent, but I still came to the UK because I was thinking long-term. I looked at where Nigeria was, where it was going, and I felt my investments would not be able to sustain the kind of lifestyle I wanted while still being in Nigeria. That was why I decided to pack my bags and come to the UK.

So, talking about a fair deal, everyone has to think about what they are sacrificing and what the long-term benefit will be. You just have to think about whether or not the value you are getting is worth the pain you pass through as an immigrant.

Whether you are getting a good deal depends on what you want from the system. It depends on what you want long-term.

It could be tough, it could be hard, but if you have a long-term plan, you will be able to make the right decision for yourself and your family in the long term.

Can you remember some of the culture shocks you experienced when you first moved to the UK?

The first thing that shocked me was the structure of the UK itself. It is four countries: England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. And each country has its own distinct culture, its own flag and currencies, even different languages.

I struggled getting used to the different accents. My goodness, in Scotland, the accent is not a normal English accent. And they have their own language too: Doric. I had to learn it because it is what the local people speak, and if you want to get along with them, you have to know it.

Let us talk about highlights and lowlights. What has been your worst experience as an immigrant?

My worst experience was at a time when there was a lot of anti-immigration rhetoric. This was around 2011, the Conservative Party was in power, and they were really clamping down on immigration.

It was a really bad time for me and my family. Every time you made the application to renew your paperwork, it would take almost forever. And that could affect your work placement. Luckily, my employers were quite understanding. But I have friends whose employers were not so understanding, so they had to stop work for a period of time. And you could not travel around while your visa was being renewed.

So it was a bad time for me because for almost six months, I was not sure if I would still be a resident in the UK or not. And my finances were also affected because I lost many opportunities for work that involved travel.

Added to that, the area I was working in was not a comfortable place for an immigrant. It was quite a toxic environment because of all the anti-immigration sentiment. I know some people would not stand what I did. They would have just left. But I realised that if you have tough skin, and you know what you are doing, you will pass through the tough time.

You mentioned being in a toxic environment. Do you mean racism?

Yes. In the UK, they are subtle about it, but it is there. You can feel it, you know when it is happening. And it is very difficult to deal with that in the workplace because your visa is tied to your having a job. So you just have to swallow it, shoulder it, and move on.

My friends and I had this inside joke based on the movie, Twelve Years A Slave. So whenever something happened, we would encourage ourselves by saying, “Do not worry, just do your five years of slavery and get out.”

That sounds grim. But it must have been good to have that support?

Yes. One thing that really helped me through that dark time was the support of friends, especially from the Indian subcontinent. So that is my Indian and Pakistani friends.

They are very resourceful, and they have a very strong community mindset. In that sense, they were actually more supportive than the Nigerian community in the UK. I found that Nigerians mostly did not know how to help, and those who did were asking for money. But my Indian and Pakistani friends just helped freely. They guided me through the whole visa process and never asked for a penny.

That sounds great. What has been your best experience?

I do not know where to really start. There have been so many great experiences. I really enjoyed my time working in the US. It felt like a really merit-based system there. If you work hard, you will be rewarded accordingly. That was my experience, so I loved it there.

I also made some long-lasting friendships there. I am constantly having to fly over because people keep inviting me to events.

I have become more financially independent in the UK to the point where I have dumped my nine to five and I am now doing my own thing. I have so much more time to enjoy new experiences.

So I will say I am still building my best experiences here.

That is amazing. Nineteen years is a long time. Can you sum up your journey?

If you have a plan or dream, you can make it come true. That has been my journey. Almost everything I have made up my mind to do, I have done. Not everything I wanted has happened, not everything has worked out, but I have hit a lot of the milestones I laid out in my plans.

Well, let us put a number to it then. How happy would you say you are on a scale of one to ten? And why?

I will say for me, in the UK as an immigrant after all these years, I will give it a seven point five.

It is not a higher number because of the weather. I hate the weather here. Let me put it this way: the rich people in the UK do not spend the winter and autumn here. Only poor people stay back. And the fact that I am speaking to you from the UK in the autumn shows I am still poor and I have some ways left to go in the things I want to achieve.

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The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.

Peter* (28) left Nigeria to escape discrimination for his sexuality and find better career prospects. But he faced a tough settling-in period, including almost being evicted for owing rent. He shares how he found love, family and acceptance in the UK.

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

I live in the United Kingdom (UK), and I left Nigeria in 2023.

What inspired you to leave?

Well, two things inspired me: my sexual orientation and the economic situation in Nigeria. I was bullied a lot because of my sexuality. My secondary schoolmates would call me by female names because I was effeminate.

I actually tried to leave immediately after secondary school, but that did not work out. I tried again in my second year of university, but that also did not work out.

After my National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) service, it was really hard to find a good job. I worked at a laboratory for a short period, but I quit because I was owed my salary and they were verbally abusive. After that, I got a job teaching at a government college, but that too was rough. We got daily doses of insults from the principal.

In the end, I just knew I would only be able to find my ideal life abroad.

Sorry you had to experience all of that. How did you finally leave Nigeria?

This was not straightforward at all. I initially got admission to do my master’s in Lithuania. All I had to do was pay some fees, but it happened during the cash crunch period in early 2023, so I ran into some complications as a result. My payment refused to go through, and even though the school extended the deadline for me to sort it out, the challenge persisted, and they could not wait any longer. So that opportunity slipped.

Before that time, I had also applied to some UK universities, but I was not really thinking about them seriously because I could not afford them on my own. For me, the UK was a last resort. But after I lost the Lithuanian opportunity, the UK became my only option. Fortunately, I was able to rely on my father and uncle to help me with funds.

But it was really difficult, especially the first year.

How so?

Academically, it was a bit confusing at the start. So my grades in my first couple of semesters were about average. But after that, my grades were mostly A’s. I love how you can just walk up to your lecturers and talk freely, ask questions about anything you do not understand. I found it really, really weird at first because it was not like that in Nigeria.

The easy access to lecturers helped, but things were still difficult for me because I had to juggle school with work. I missed a lot of classes. It was really tough. There was no time to rest. I barely slept.

What kind of work did you do?

I got two jobs to keep up with the bills. The first was a cleaning job at an event centre that would host weddings, holiday parties, book launches and so on. So I would clean on the weekends. The problem was that it was really far away from where I lived near my school. I had to take three buses to get there, so it could take me around four to five hours to get to work.

The second job was as a quality control officer at a car factory. I did this on weekdays. After classes, I would leave for work around 3 p.m. Then on the weekends, I would head to the event centre for the cleaning job.

The cleaning shifts were really long. I would typically work ten to twelve-hour shifts. I once did sixteen hours each day for three days. It was a brutal experience but I was grateful for that weekend because the bulk sum I got paid for it really helped me take care of my school fees debt.

It must have felt good to be able to offset your debts.

Yes, it did. The pressure was telling on me mentally and even physically. I was barely sleeping and was mostly surviving on spaghetti and rice, because that was what I could cook in bulk.

Do you still work the cleaning job?

I work in care at the moment, but I am working on getting a licence so I can get a laboratory job. I work with people with disabilities. I like my patients; we have a really good rapport. Many of them have a really good sense of humour. I also really like my coworkers. It is just a great environment. Sometimes I would even rather be at work than at home.

That sounds great. How would you sum up your experience in the UK?

Overall, it has been great. I feel like it has been in stages. Early on, you are trying to pay your fees and sort out school stuff, and maybe get a good job. But then if you get through all that, you can really start looking forward to settling down, getting a better job, getting your own house, getting your own car if you need it and stuff like that.

So, so far it has been great. At the moment, I feel like I am in this calm period where I am a bit settled and can now look forward to all of those things, starting with getting my licence and then getting a better job.

Have you visited Nigeria since you travelled?

No, I have not. But I speak with my parents almost every day.

What kind of support system do you have in the UK?

My partner and his family. I also consider my colleagues a sort of family, my work family. They are excellent.

You are in a relationship?

Yes, I am. We actually met on a dating app. I did not feel the connection at first. I went off the app for some time. When I came back, we started talking again and arranged to meet.

Meeting him has been the peak of my experience in the UK. It has really helped me settle in here. I realised that the problem was that I had no one here. I do not have any family members in the UK. I did not really have friends except maybe my roommates in my shared accommodation. So I did not really have anyone I was close to, and I think that is why a lot of people slip into depression.

It was really tough, but when I met him, everything became settled. I now had someone to talk to, someone to cry to, someone to rely on if I needed help. Once I met him, everything changed. I now have family because his family became mine.

Happy to hear you found such a connection. What is dating like in the UK?

I actually dated a few people here and there, but none of them lasted long. The problem with men in the UK is that many of them are not looking for long term relationships.

How does it compare to your experience in Nigeria?

Okay, so the main difference for me has been honesty. In the UK, especially with white men, they will tell you upfront that they do not want a relationship, that they are just looking to have some fun, no commitment.

Nigerians, on the other hand, both at home and even some in the UK, will lie that they are looking for a relationship when they too just want to have fun and go.

I prefer dating here because it is honest, and I quickly understood how it works. But I did have a few good relationships in Nigeria, and I also had one really bad one.

What happened?

While I was in university, I dated a Master’s student. He was older, but he was just dishonest about everything, while I was open. I let him know my house, but he would not let me know his. He kept promising to take me there and then dodging it with one excuse or the other.

In addition to these, he lied about his line of work and made a move on a guy I was mentoring. There was another guy he introduced to me as his brother, but I later found out they were dating. And even though I was still schooling and he was working, I was the one doing the spending in the relationship.

Wow. That sounds rough. Do you have any plans to visit Nigeria?

Yes, I intend to visit Nigeria with my partner soon.

Do you consider the UK home now, or is there a possibility of a permanent return to Nigeria?

The funny thing is that I do see the UK as home, but my partner sees Nigeria as our potential home in the future.

We actually just bought a property in Nigeria. We plan to have kids and want them to experience both countries and cultures. So we want to have homes in both Nigeria and the UK. And maybe in the future, when we are old, we might actually retire in Nigeria. That is the plan. I just worry about the medical services in Nigeria, it is just too poor. But we are hoping it will get better by then.

Fingers crossed. What kind of culture shocks did you experience moving to the UK?

Numbers one and two are really easy; they hardly drink water here, and they do not rinse their dishes. I do not let my partner wash the plates. I hope he does not see this.

The first time I visited him, he offered me juice, but I asked for water. He got me the cup of water, and as I drank it, I could taste soap. Now, I always get my drink myself, or I do the dishes.

Another thing for me is the pets. It is like everyone has a pet here — it could be a dog, cat, bird, or something. And they have insurance for them. Why are you paying £50 for insurance every month for a pet? How can a dog have free MRI scans? People in Nigeria do not even have that.

Also, the Christmas gifts. They really take it seriously here. Last year, our house was filled with gifts and cards. The office, overflowing with gifts. We had to tell people to just start picking their gifts from 1st December because there was no more space under the Christmas tree.

Let us talk about highlights and lowlights. What would you say has been your worst experience in the UK?

That has to be almost getting locked out of my apartment because I could not pay rent. So this was early on, just a few months after I came here, and I had not gotten a job yet. I was at the student accommodation. I was already going nuts worrying about the rent.

We use these keycards to open the doors, and once you are owing, your card deactivates. Luckily for me, the day my card deactivated, I had a shoe at the door, and it stopped the door from shutting.

I had to call my uncle. He sent me some money, and the church I was attending then helped me with the rest, so I was able to pay for three more weeks. Within those weeks, I was able to get a job.

But it was so scary because I just imagined what would have happened if that shoe had not been at the door. What if my uncle had not sent the money, or the church had not helped me out?

Glad it worked out in the end. What about your best experience in the UK?

I feel like there have been a lot of really good experiences. I think I would say going on my first proper holiday. This was late last year. So, you know, coming from Nigeria, going on holiday means going to one relative’s house. So this felt so different.

It was actually a recommendation from my partner’s mother. She told us about this island she thought we would have a great time at. And we did. It was for a week, and it was such a great time for me to reflect, think, and just recharge. All I had to do was see beautiful stuff, sing, visit museums, play games, go to the bar, karaoke, and just chill. I went to bed and woke up whenever I liked. It was just really fun.

Sounds awesome. On a scale of one to ten, how happy would you say you are in the UK, and why?

I would say nine because I strongly believe I have a future here. But it is not a ten because of the whole far right stuff we are starting to see.

Do you want to share your Abroad Life story? Please reach out to me here. For new episodes of Abroad Life, check in every Friday at 12 PM (WAT).

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Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

What inspired you to leave?

You said you travelled often for work. What did you do?

So how did you leave?

Did it all work out?

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What did you do?

This must have been a very anxious time for you. What happened next?

That sounds like a lot to handle. How did it all turn out?

That is great to hear. So you must be happy with life in Germany now?

Why would you not recommend it?

You mentioned your daughter. How has it been for her?

Can you give an example of the racism you faced during your MBA?

How did the professor react?

Did the school take any action?

That sounds incredibly isolating. As a family, how do you find ways to have fun in Berlin?

How did you meet your husband?

How was your dating life in Germany before you met him?

How would you compare pregnancy and childbirth in Nigeria versus Germany?

Have you visited Nigeria since you left?

What does the future look like for you?

Are you worried about a reduction in your purchasing power when you move back?

What have been the major culture shocks for you in Germany?

What have been your best and worst experiences?

On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in Germany?

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

What inspired you to leave?

But why South Korea?

Was that your first time leaving Nigeria?

What was it like arriving in this country that you’ve been fascinated with for so long?

Were you fluent in Korean when you first arrived?

Aside from academics, how did the language barrier affect day-to-day life?

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How was the experience settling in socially?

What are your plans for the future?

What would be an ideal job for you?

Do you see yourself returning to Nigeria permanently at some point?

How do you have fun in South Korea?

When you say travelling, do you mean within South Korea?

Interesting. What countries have you visited?

Nice. Which was your best trip?

Sounds like you had a great time. What culture shocks did you experience when you first arrived in South Korea?

You sound like you’ve had an amazing time in Korea, but what has been your worst experience?

Sorry that happened. Have you experienced other instances of racism and discrimination?

Okay. What has been your best experience so far?

On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in South Korea, and why?

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

Were these holidays or work trips?

How many countries have you been to?

That’s a lot of countries! When did you realise you love travelling?

Interesting. What’s your favourite country you’ve visited?

It’s quite common to hear Nigerians complain about the difficulty getting around with a Nigerian passport. How has that been like for you?

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When you visit any new city, is there anything you look for to decide if you like it or not?

What has been your favourite travel experience?

So you were basically touring the world on these “workations.” But what inspired you to leave Nigeria permanently?

So Kenya had what you were looking for?

What was it like actually living in a new country?

Did you experience any culture shocks in Kenya?

There’s this idea that Nigerians have a bad reputation on the continent. Did you feel that in Kenya?

What was your best experience in Kenya?

That sounds amazing. What about your worst experience?

That is crazy. But apart from the crime, you said Kenya was perfect for you. So why the move to Canada?

What has been your worst experience in Canada?

Glad you found a place in the end. What about your best experience in Canada?

Let’s talk about future plans. You talked about moving to Canada because you wanted more stability. What does that look like for you?

Do you ever see yourself returning to Nigeria permanently?

On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you in Canada and why?

Where do you currently live, and when did you leave Nigeria?

What inspired you to leave?

What was life like in Nigeria?

That’s insane. Did both of you travel or just you?

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So what did you do?

Wow!

Congratulations on the new job. Any long-term plans?

You called leaving Nigeria “escape.” Any possibility of a return at some point?

You’ve only been in the UK for a short period. But apart from your wife, have you started to build a support system?

Let’s talk about your experiences in these first six months. Any culture shocks?

Let’s talk about highlights and lowlights. What has been your worst experience so far?