Everyone on Obasanjo’s internet is reminiscing about 2016, the music, the memes, and the chaos. But what about Nigerians’ romantic experiences during that year? Was it a year for yearners, or one filled with heartbreaks? We did the Lord’s work and found out.

In this story, five Nigerians revisit their worst romantic experiences from 2016 and how those moments made them feel.

“He introduced me as his friend after five months” — Amina*, 29, F

Amina thought she had found the love of her life until she realised he was stringing her along.

I met this guy at a friend’s birthday party early in 2016, and we hit it off immediately. We exchanged phone numbers and started seeing each other often. We were so similar, and he made me laugh a lot. We started going on dates and spending our weekends together, and I thought that meant we were in a relationship.

Five months after we met, I ran into him at an event with some of his friends. When he introduced me, he said, ‘This is my good friend, Amina.’ I laughed because I thought he was joking, but he wasn’t.

Later, when I confronted him, he said he didn’t like labels and didn’t want the pressure of a relationship, but still wanted to keep seeing me. I felt so embarrassed and silly. I ended things that day, but the shame stayed with me for a long time after we stopped talking.

“I wasn’t brave enough to face my feelings” — Biola*, 28, F

Biola spent most of 2016 fighting for her life as a fresher in school, but that wasn’t her only cup of tea. She opens up about avoiding her feelings for her former best friend and how badly she handled it when he confessed.

2016 was not a good year of love for me. My best friend at the time confessed his feelings to me after our first semester exams. I’d been crushing on him for almost a year, but I thought he didn’t feel the same way. 

Even though I assumed his confession meant we’d take things further, I chickened out and ghosted him. He kept calling and texting for days, apologising and asking to talk, but I didn’t know what to say, so I kept mute. 

My silence ruined that friendship beyond repair. By the time we resumed for the second semester, he had stopped talking to me. I still think about him every now and then.

“She lied to me about being pregnant” — Bisi*, 32, M

Many things stood out for Bisi in 2016, but nothing comes close to his experience with one of the most tumultuous relationships of his adult life.

I dated this really hot girl back in school who was also equally problematic. She blocked my number whenever we fought, flirted with other guys to make me jealous, and loved pushing my buttons in the worst ways. Toward the end of 2016, after seven months of stress, I tried to end things. That’s when she told me she was pregnant.

I was shocked at first and wanted to deny it, but I couldn’t bring myself to. Since my faith frowned on abortion, I decided to step up and take care of the child. I sent her most of my allowance every week and did side gigs to make extra money. I visited her hostel every evening to check on her and make sure she was okay. This went on for two months. In that time, I kept pressuring her to see a doctor and register for antenatal check-ups. I also wanted to meet her family and explain what was going on. She kept dodging me, and I didn’t understand why. When I finally put my foot down and threatened to tell one of her siblings who attended the same school, she came clean and admitted there was no pregnancy. A chill went up my spine. 

I felt angry and relieved that I wasn’t going to be a dad. She cried and claimed she lied because she didn’t want to lose me, but I was too angry to even listen. I blocked her that day and never contacted her again. I genuinely feared what else she was capable of if she could lie for so long about something like that.

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“He pretended to have been drunk when we kissed” — David*, 30, M

David was still discovering and exploring his sexuality in 2016. He recalls a kiss he shared with a friend and how it affected his romantic life.

2016 was a year of exploration for me. I was finally away from my family and realised I liked boys. I didn’t know how to navigate queer dating spaces at the time. I told one of my friends about my feelings, and he took it better than I expected. He said he was straight, but after that conversation, I noticed he started looking at me differently. 

One night, we’d gotten tipsy off some beers and ended up making out in my room. The next morning, I tried to talk about the kiss, but he said he didn’t remember anything. I knew he was lying, but I wasn’t sure what to say, so I let it go. I was so embarrassed, but I figured it was awkward for him. 

What hurt most was how he started avoiding me after that. It affected my romantic life too. It took a while before I felt safe exploring my sexuality again.

“He dated my friend and me at the same time” — Tola*, 30, F

Tola thought she was finally getting into her first big girl relationship, but she quickly realised he was playing her.

I met someone during my first year in university, and he was everything I wanted: funny, tall, and handsome. We talked for weeks before he asked me out, and I felt excited because I’d liked him for a while. He’d walk me back to my hostel, call me late at night, and talk about how much he liked me.

One afternoon in October, I went to surprise him at his hostel and saw his arms wrapped around one of my friends. I thought I was hallucinating. When I confronted them, he said he didn’t think things were serious with either of us yet and wanted to ‘see where things went’. I was so shocked because I was on my own before he asked me out. 

My friend claimed she didn’t know he was talking to me, but I later found out she did. I cut both of them off and didn’t date again for almost a year because trusting people felt hard after that.

Here’s your nest read: 5 Nigerian Women On The Things They Refuse To Do For Love