Post-nut clarity is a slang term for the temporary state of clarity and rational thought people experience after sexual orgasm. All it takes is one moment afterwards for a great vibe to expire. One minute you’re into it, texting your friends about how fine he is and how the link-up might be mindblowing. The next minute, it’s over, he’s trying to cuddle, and you’re wondering how to politely ask a grown man to go home.

These women share what happens when the moments of pleasure pass, and reality taps them on the shoulder.

“I realised I didn’t like him that much” — Bisi*, 29

Post-nut clarity brought Bisi the realisation that her feelings for her crush weren’t as strong as she thought.

“I had a crush and would spend my time fantasising about what a relationship with him would look like. I was so excited when I found out that he liked me back. 

A few weeks later, we went out on a date and decided to end the night at his place. Maybe it was because I was ovulating, but the sex was great. Right after we finished, though, it was as if the scales fell off my eyes. I realised I just didn’t like him that much. As he was whispering to me about “doing this again soon”, I was thinking of how to get out of his house and never come back.”

“I ran away because of religious guilt” — Amina*, 21

Amina shares how she couldn’t shake the intense feelings of religious guilt that washed over her after sex.

“Before I decentered religion and religious purity culture, I used to feel so guilty after sex. One time, after sex, when I was consumed with guilt,  I ghosted my lover. Running away was the only solution I knew for a long time till I got to the root of my issues with sex and my religious beliefs.”

“He was too small for what I needed” — Adaobi*, 34

It took one orgasm to make Adaobi realise she wanted more than her lover had to offer.

“I met a really cute guy at a restaurant. We got talking, and after a week, he asked me out on a date. There was a lot of sexting and flirting leading up to our first date. By the time the day came around, I was wound up so tightly, I was worried I would jump on him as soon as I saw him. 

After our date, we went to a hotel and started getting intimate. When he took off his clothes, I noticed that his penis was on the small side, but I told myself that it didn’t matter and I wouldn’t mind. What he didn’t have in size, he more than made up for with his mouth and fingers. After he went down on me and gave me a brain-numbing orgasm, the post-nut clarity lashed my neck like a koboko. I realised what he was packing was too small to satisfy me. He was a great eater, but once I was sure of what I wanted, I didn’t see him after that.”

“Everything about him became irritating to me” — Temi*, 25

Temi realised that once it’s sage time, attraction can expire mid-sentence.

“While we were having sex, everything was fine. I had been looking forward to it for a long time, so I was happy to be there. Once we were done and I came down from the high of the orgasm, everything about him began to irritate me. His voice was grating, his sheets were pricking my skin, and I didn’t want him to touch me. It was the first time I had experienced post-nut clarity, and my feelings surprised me. I just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, even though I had spent the days leading up wishing I were in his bed.”

“I needed him to go home” — Arewa*, 27

After everything was done, Arewa just wanted her room to herself.

“I hooked up with a friend, and it was fine — nothing mind-blowing, but no complaints. In my head, the plan was simple: we finish, he leaves, everybody rests. So imagine my confusion when he casually said it was too late for him to go home and made himself comfortable in my bed.

That night felt like punishment; I could barely sleep. I was hyper aware of his presence in my space. Once it was 5:00 am, I woke him up and told him it was time to leave. It wasn’t personal, but I needed my space back. Surprisingly, our friendship survived that, and we’re still friends.”

“Sometimes, I get my clarity mid-sex” — Uche*, 24

Uche shares how post-nut clarity forced her to cut off a lover.

“Post-nut clarity is so funny. It can strike at any time, even in the middle of sex. Once, in the middle of things, I realised that the person I was sleeping with didn’t love me. I found myself thinking, ‘if this person loved me, they wouldn’t be f*cking me the way they were’. The sex lacked something soft I usually feel when I’m having sex with someone I love. After the orgasm, I started replaying all our interactions and realised I was just someone they called when they wanted to get off. I did a hard reset after that and removed the person from my life.”

“I kept trying to fake being asleep” — Ronke, 30* 

Ronke says escape became her only goal.

“I invited a sneaky link over, and we had amazing sex. Afterwards, he tried to make conversation and tell me about some problems he was working through. I just knew I didn’t have the strength to listen to him.

I closed my eyes and began to breathe slowly, hoping he’d think I had slept off. I almost got away with it, but he kept tapping me awake. I felt like a hostage. I kept ‘dozing off’ until he left me alone.”

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