Take me back to the beginning
Moyin and I had known each other since secondary school; she was my brother’s friend. We met for the first time at my brother’s book launch event in 2008, and we hit it off and became best buddies right off the bat.
What was your friendship with her like?
Great! We’d be on the phone, exchanging calls and texts all day. We did a lot of the “midnight calls” from back when that was still a thing from 2008 till 2010. We also hung out in person every chance we got.
Fast forward to 2021, we’d grown a bit older and had started making small, small funds, so we took each other out every now and again. Movies, restaurants, parties, such and such.
Did you guys ever consider being more than friends?
Not really. We didn’t date in all 17 years of friendship. There may have been a kiss here and there, but it never led to anything serious. We were happy being good friends.
At least that’s what I thought.
When did you start noticing there was an issue?
It was weird because nothing happened. She just seemed to switch up one day.
We worked out of the same office in Ikoyi for a time, so we saw each other every day. Suddenly, I started to notice some weirdness in our usual banter and regular conversations. She’d snub me or pretend not to notice when I spoke to her.
Why do you think she did this?
Nothing comes to mind at all. About a week after I first noticed this change, I asked her what was wrong. I told her, “I’m noticing a change in your attitude; what’s going on?” But she said it was nothing and we were cool.
I asked her the same question at the office end-of-year party. But it was the same response; “we’re cool”.
I really didn’t want to go into the new year carrying beef with my best friend of 15 years, but my hands were tied. She didn’t give me much to work with.
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Did you try to reach out to her after that?
I reached out to her several times in 2023. She’d miss my call and not return it or reply to my texts the next day or two. She eventually agreed to meet for brunch in January of 2024, where we had what I thought was a good reconciliation. She told me she just needed some time away and that was fine with me.
I tried to visit her, but I found out that she had given me false information during our conversation and had moved to an entirely different place, which rubbed me the wrong way and made me feel like our issues weren’t resolved as she had assured me.
Where’s your head at right now? Do you think you’d be open to fixing your relationship with her if she tried to reach out?
Definitely, I don’t believe the damage is irreparable, but it seems like she’s in a place where she just doesn’t want to reconcile anymore.
We have had bouts in the past where we didn’t talk for a stretch of time. But we always came back to being best friends again like nothing happened. So I was hoping maybe this is just another one of those cases.
As much as I’m still hopeful and looking forward to getting back to what we’ve always had, I feel like I’m also now in a place where I’m going to let it go. I’m going to let whatever is going to happen take its shape.
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