Tell me how you came across these boys
This was back in 2017. My neighbour who lived in the building next to mine in Bodija Ibadan was having a terrible fight with her young nephews, Tolu and Abraham. Around 9:00 pm, she threw them out of her house with their clothes and said she never wanted to see them again. They knocked on my door and asked to spend the night, which I was happy to allow.
I spoke to them about what happened, and it seemed like a case of mistreatment and disregard. Their mother had passed earlier that year, and their father abandoned them, so they were forced to move in with their mother’s sister, who wasn’t interested in caring for them. She starved them and beat them whenever she had the chance.
I asked if they had anywhere else to go, and they said no, so I offered to let them live with me. I have a husband who doesn’t make much and three children, so we couldn’t afford to send both of them to school along with our children, but they could have a place to sleep and eat without worrying. That’s how we came to live together.
How did this living arrangement affect your family?
My family wasn’t affected at all. I’ve had extended family members live with us before and we had no issues. It was the same with Tolu and Abraham. They became fast friends with my children, and we were one big family. People saw them as my sons, and I treated them that way. It was hard sometimes because you know how Nigeria is, but we made it work.
Abraham was sharp as a tack, and he won a scholarship for a course at the University of Ibadan, which paid for 55% of his schooling fees. I was happy to cover the rest of it. Tolu wasn’t as good at school, but he was an apprentice at a barbershop in the neighbourhood. We lived without any major problems until 2021.
What happened?
Abraham was the oldest child in the house, so I started having more adult conversations with him. He knew when all the bills got paid and had access to the account we used to pay them. I also trusted him to hold the money I made supplying dry goods to restaurants as a side gig.
In March 2021, I had gotten approval for a ₦5m bank loan, which I was going to use to expand my supply business. I excitedly told Abraham about it and how I planned to make him the manager of the business since he was almost done with school.
We talked about the trajectory of the business and how we were going to use some of the profit to send Tolu to university. Everything was going well till I got a call from the bank in April.
After going to the bank several times during the loan application process, I became familiar with a few of the workers. One of them called me and asked why I sent my son to withdraw all of the money I had loaned in cash. He didn’t say it like he suspected any foul play, he wanted to advise that we don’t withdraw all the money because of the danger of thieves who may waylay the boy on his way home.
I said okay and thanked him. I said he shouldn’t let him withdraw it anymore, and he should tell Abraham to come back home. As soon as the call ended, I called Abraham and asked where he was. He lied and said he was at a supermarket.
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Ah.
I became very suspicious. I went to their room and saw that all of Abraham and Tolu’s clothes, as well as Tolu himself, were gone. I asked one of my children about it, and he said that the boys had been talking about taking a trip to Ghana and had packed boxes earlier in the week. I immediately called the person from the bank and begged him to freeze the account till I got there.
That was the best decision I could have made because this boy went to another branch and tried to withdraw the money again. I called him over fifty times, but he didn’t pick up. I was so angry. That was the last day I saw either of them.
Did you ever find out why Abraham tried to steal your money?
Sort of. A month later, Abraham called with a strange number. He said he wanted to thank me for letting them live with us, but I should have known that he’d want to start his own business and not be under anyone. I was taken aback and told him to never contact me or my family again.
How did this experience make you feel?
It was very painful. I really saw those boys as my children and I did what I thought was my best for them. I went through a period where I doubted if I treated them well, but I did what even their families were unwilling to do for them. I don’t think I deserved to be robbed. If he had come to me to ask for support for whatever plans he had, I would have gladly done what I could to get him on his feet.
It has affected how much I trust people. I find that after my immediate family, I feel everyone is looking for an opportunity to steal from me or harm me. I dislike how paranoid I have become.
Have you heard from them since then?
Not directly, but I hear that Tolu is now a yahoo boy while Abraham has started a church on a hilltop in the inner city of Ibadan. I hear they still live together, so I wonder what sort of arrangement they have. I don’t really care, though; my focus now is my family and my supply business.
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