Sex Life: Women Keep Making Fun Of My Penis Size

January 16, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.


The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 24-year-old heterosexual man who feels the size of his penis is preventing him from living his best sex life. He talks about how being shamed by multiple women has scarred him. 

What was your first sexual experience? 

When I was 12, I had a girlfriend. We used to make out in school and had plans to have sex after a school party. We didn’t go ahead with the plan because she backed out. 

Do you know why she backed out? 

She was scared. I was also scared, but I didn’t tell her that. I was happy she backed out. I moved on like I was the bold partner. 

Why were you scared? 

I was 12 and didn’t know anything about sex. I had never even masturbated. In addition to this, I was scared of hell. I wasn’t a Christian, but there was this evangelist by my house who preached every morning about the dangers of sex and why anyone who had it outside of marriage would rot in hell fire. 

Yikes. What happened after? 

We eventually broke up a year later. I think I came out of the relationship a bit bold, so I was making out with girls in my class a lot. I never went beyond that. Eventually, I met a girl in my neighbourhood who wanted to do more. 

She was more experienced than I was — at least, that was the reputation she had. She was the first person who put her hands down my trousers. I didn’t allow her to go any further. 

Why didn’t you go any further?

I didn’t want to be the novice in the equation. I wanted to be ready. After that day, I stole some porn CDs from my brother’s room and watched them a million times. After that, I tried masturbating. I couldn’t the first time. 

Why not?

I guess I wasn’t comfortable touching myself. However, the more I tried, the easier it got. Eventually, I was doing it so much — sometimes twice a day — I forgot about women. 

When did you eventually go back to women? 

Not until after secondary school. I transferred to an all-boys boarding school after Junior WAEC, so it wasn’t easy to find girls to make out with. 

While I waited for university, the first person I made out with was my brother’s girlfriend. She was about two years older. When she removed my zipper, she had a reaction that I didn’t understand at the time. 

She went ahead to suck my dick and I didn’t think too much about the expression after. It was the first time I had an orgasm from anything other than masturbation. I enjoyed the experience a lot more than when I was masturbating. So I started to actively go after girls who were older. 

How did that go?

I didn’t have much luck with that . A lot of them were condescending. Rightly so, sha. They wanted to know what I could offer. I didn’t have any money or social capital. I wasn’t necessarily attractive, so they moved on. 

When I finally got in bed with a girl older than me, it was a disaster. 

What happened? 

We had been sexting for a bit and were both excited. The day we finally set to have sex, we decided to go out first, just to tease each other a bit. By the time we got to her hostel, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. 

When it was time to have sex, and we were both undressed, she looked at me and laughed. This babe laughed so much, I was completely embarrassed. 

Why was she laughing? 

She eventually said, “Is this what you want to put inside me?” as she gathered her clothes and began to put them back on. I’ll never forget that. 

That sounds horrible. 

Nah, it was more than horrible. I had never thought of myself as having a small penis. It wasn’t even in my vocabulary. And because I didn’t watch a lot porn that involved men — I watch a lot of lesbian porn — I had never fixated on a man’s penis. 

I didn’t know what was supposed to be big and what was supposed to be small. Even after this incident, I kept thinking that she was being very subjective, so even though it dented my pride, I still forged on. 

What did you do next? 

When I started university, I got into a relationship and we started having sex regularly. I enjoyed the sex most of the time. I thought with all my heart that she was enjoying the sex too. 

The way she moaned and screamed when we were having sex made me believe I was doing something right. We broke up when I was in my second year. Our breakup wasn’t even sex-related. 

A few months later, we got into a post-breakup fight, and she insulted my penis out of spite. One very strong Yoruba insult that I can’t remember. I later found out that while we were dating, she was sleeping with other men to satisfy her sexual desires because I couldn’t. 

Wow. That’s sad. 

I couldn’t date or have sex with anyone after that experience. One time I tried and my penis wouldn’t even stand. I just gave up and went back to masturbating. 

Sometimes I stand in the mirror and I’m like, “But it’s not even that small.” Really, I’ve seen smaller ones in porn. During university, I wanted to explore creams, but I was scared of the side effects. I also couldn’t afford any of the supposedly ‘good’ ones I saw online. 

What’s your sex life these days? 

I’ve had a few good experiences since my ex and I broke up, but I’ve also had a few bad ones. There was a time I was talking to a babe and thought that we could eventually date.  She wasn’t in Nigeria, so she used to send me nudes a lot.

She never asked me to send her nudes though. I eventually asked if I could send her nudes and she said ok. I did it because I wanted to be upfront about what she was getting into. When I sent it to her, using the best angles ever, she sent me really positive feedback. I thought we were cool. A few days later, she blocked me everywhere.

Another time, I was in bed with a babe, we had just had sex. She seemed to have enjoyed it. Then she started playing with my penis and talking to herself, she said, “It’s so small, it can’t even make me gag.” She was joking —  her tone was playful — but we never saw each other again. 

What about the good experiences? 

I’ve started learning other ways to please women. Other positions that work to my benefit. And I want to believe my stroke game is fire. I think I’ve pleased a bunch of different women, but I can’t trust them. They’ll be moaning like they’re enjoying themselves, only for them to go behind my back and insult me. 

Right now, I sleep with the same set of women. I’m afraid to meet women who don’t already know my penis size or my insecurities. An ideal world would be me dating and getting married to someone who’s understanding and kind.

An ideal world would also be getting enough money to afford a penis enlargement surgery because I do really want to do that. God knows that if my penis is bigger, I’m going to become a nude model. I’ll just get in shape and become a nude model. Maybe even a pornstar. Hopefully, one of the babes who made fun of my dick would see me and come correct. 

Haha. So how would you rate your sex life? 

5 over 10. Just because I’m not exploring. My sex life is not exciting. This small penis is really holding my destiny back. Because if not, I would have been an ashewo.



Check back every Saturday by 12pm for new stories in the Sex Life series. If you would like to get this story in your mail before everyone else — complete with inside gist that doesn’t make the final cut, sign up here. Catch up on older stories here.

Ope

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

July 31, 2021

Angel, one of the resident Gen-Z’s in the ongoing Big Brother Nigeria has shown us that beyond being self-aware, she is also very funny. Here are a few times Angel has shown us that she is one of the top 5 funny women in Nigeria. 1. She being a generous and accomodating side chick. 2. […]

July 31, 2021

Here are 9 quizzes for Geography experts. If you’re truly one, you shouldn’t have any problem acing them. 1. QUIZ: Only Smart Nigerians Can Score 20/25 On This A-Z Geography Quiz How many Nigerian cities and states do you know from A-Z? Get up to 20 on this quiz to prove you’re smart. N.B: The answer […]

July 31, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. TW: Sexual Abuse. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 28-year-old heterosexual woman who talks about hating condoms and how all that changed after an STD and two pregnancies.   What was your […]

July 31, 2021

Truth or Dare can be a fun game to play whether you’re hanging in with friends or you’re playing drinking games. However, it can get old really quick if you don’t have the right questions or dare. So we put together a couple of truth or dare questions to ask a guy at the next […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

More from Ships

July 31, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. TW: Sexual Abuse. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 28-year-old heterosexual woman who talks about hating condoms and how all that changed after an STD and two pregnancies.   What was your […]

July 29, 2021

Ending a relationship is not always an easy thing to do, which is why you have to do it right. There are easy ways to break up with someone without hurting your feelings in the process. Here are some of the ways. 1. Leave the country. Leaving the country is the best coping mechanism after […]

Zikoko love life: best friends to lovers image
July 29, 2021

Teslim*, 28, and Chibuzo*, 29 dated for four years and have been married for three. Today on Love Life, they talk about transitioning from secondary school best friends to lovers, starting their tech careers together and how they struggled with long distances before marriage. What’s your earliest memory of each other? Chibuzo: My earliest memory […]

Sex Life
July 24, 2021

Whether you’ve been reading Zikoko Sex Life for two years or you’re reading it for the first time today, here are some stories you must enjoy at least twice. 1. Awakening My Bisexuality At 27 I remember when we were making out, it was so intense that I suddenly felt the urge to tell this […]

July 22, 2021

It started with this tweet. Someone didn’t think this was necessary. But the rest of you were like: Here we go. P.S: This is not dating advice 🙂 1. Sounds fair, no? 2. What is yours is ours 3. I hear you. I hear you. 4. And they say the complete package doesn’t exist 5. […]

July 19, 2021

Not everyone hates their exes, some people still have fond memories of the ones who got away. Sometimes, relationships don’t work for reasons beyond our control and some people still hold their exes dear to them. Here are what some people have to say about their favourite ex: David, 35 I have known her since […]

July 19, 2021

Dating your coworker can be tricky because if it ends in tears, you might end up jobless. Here’s a guide to making sure that doesn’t happen to you.  1.Check if they wear a ring often It is one thing to date a coworker and another thing to date someone else’s partner. If their relationship is […]

July 17, 2021

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 28-year-old heterosexual woman. She talks about how her first sexual relationship ended in shame because her partner spread gossip about the sex and how her fear of being tagged promiscuous prevented her from having sex with the men in her social circle. What was your first sexual experience? […]

Love life image with a lesbian couple
July 15, 2021

Ella, 23, and Adaora, 21 have been dating for eleven months. Today on Love Life, they talk about navigating a relationship after Adaora ran away from home, learning how to set boundaries and their future plans for each other.   What is your earliest memory of each other?  Adaora: My first memory was when we first […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X