Some relationships last for months, even years, but there are those that barely make it past the talking stage.
From two-week flings to six-week emotional rollercoasters, these Nigerians open up on the comically short relationships that taught them lessons about love and themselves.
“The six weeks we spent together almost broke me” — Bolaji*, M, (27)| Straight
Bolaji thought his first relationship was going great until his ex blindsided him with their split only six weeks after they started dating.
“Back in 2019, I met the most interesting girl at a house party. She caught my attention when she walked up to introduce herself. Her friend had dared her to talk to the next guy who walked into the party, and that guy happened to be me.
I tried to dance with her, and she gave me the cold shoulder at first. But a few hours later, we stepped outside for air and ended up gisting like old friends. At that point, she felt like the most amazing person I’d ever met. I told her how I felt, and she said she felt the same way. By the next evening, I was at her place binge-watching a series, and just like that, we were dating.
There was no denying what we felt for each other, but all she wanted to talk about were her issues with her recent ex-boyfriend. She was my first girlfriend, so I accommodated her excesses. But six weeks in, she broke up with me. It was the day before her birthday, and I’d told her I couldn’t make it to her party because work had delayed my salary.
In hindsight, I should have just borrowed the money from someone and showed up, but I felt that I could be honest with my babe. She didn’t mention the financial aspects in her breakup message; she just said she wasn’t ready for a connection as intense as ours.
It hurt me deeply. I crashed out on social media, tweeting my feelings until one of her best friends asked her to check on me. We talked it out, but I told her I needed to block her to sort out my feelings.
I don’t regret what we had at at all, it opened my mind to consider and explore new areas of my relationship with my family, my sexuality and my spirituality. It was a short ride, but it was amazing. We reconnected in 2021 and remain good friends to this day.”
“It was two months of rubbish” — Demilade*, F, (26)| Straight
Demilade thought she wanted a boyfriend, but instead, she got bored out of her mind.
“He was friends with two of my friends’ boyfriends, so we often hung out together in 2022. I thought he was cute and had a great sense of humour. He also showered me with attention whenever we were together. So when he started flirting and eventually asked me out, I said yes.
I realised quickly that I didn’t like him romantically. He was fun in a platonic way, but he was so boring to me as a romantic partner. I didn’t break up with him right away because I felt bad for pushing for a relationship only to feel nothing. He had zero personality outside football and sometimes made mean jokes about other people.
I stopped putting effort into the relationship, blaming schoolwork for my absence. My breaking point came when I asked for his help, and he refused just because it was raining. That was it, I ended things.
It was so freeing. My only regret was not breaking up with him earlier. I later found out he was already sleeping with other women behind my back. His lack of self-control was alarming, but I’m glad we never got intimate. It made me feel like I didn’t lose anything but dead weight.”
“It took me only two weeks to see we weren’t compatible” — Chika*, M, (31)| Straight
Chika wanted to deepen a casual relationship with a connection he made on Bumble, but after their first serious conversation, he knew he had to leave it.
“I met her on Bumble in 2022, and we went on a few dates. I told her I was looking for a serious relationship, but she clearly wanted a casual one. During our conversation, she shared some extreme views on feminism, hatred for men and religion, which didn’t align with my views.
Still, I agreed to a casual relationship because I was attracted to her, and thought she wasn’t serious about those views. A few weeks in, she changed her mind and asked to be in a real relationship. I was delighted at first, but I told her I’d agree if we revisited the things she said earlier. She agreed, and we became a couple.
Two weeks later, we had the talk. She doubled down on her views, and I knew I couldn’t move forward. We ended the relationship amicably.
I was slightly upset at first, but mostly proud of myself. I’m usually emotionally avoidant, so I was happy I ended things quickly instead of letting them drag. I met the love of my life shortly after, and I’ve never been happier.”
“My IG crush asked me out and broke up with me in one month” — Alexa*, F, (23)| Lesbian
Alexa thought her new relationship was going great until out of nowhere, only after a month together, her girlfriend asked for a split.
“I was basically love-bombed into that relationship in 2023, but I didn’t mind because I had a huge crush on her. She replied to one of my story posts, and we didn’t stop talking after that.
Two weeks later, she asked me out. I insisted that we had to see each other in person before we started anything. She travelled down to my city within days, and in less than four hours, we became girlfriends.
I still don’t understand why our relationship ended. She gave me every excuse in the book, from “long distance is too hard” to “I’m just not in the right mental place for a relationship right now”, there was nothing she didn’t say. It was confusing because she went from saying she loved me one day to breaking up with me the next.
The heartbreak made me dizzy. I didn’t expect it at all. For a while, I felt stupid, embarrassed, and insecure for not being able to hold her attention for more than a month. The worst part was when she started dating someone else a month later. People fawned over them all over my social media, and it just twisted the knife in my gut. I regret our relationship. I hate that what I used to love made me feel so bad.
“He emotionally tortured me for a month before we broke up” — Torera*, F, (28)| Straight
Torera thought she had found the love of her life on Twitter, but as their relationship progressed, his mood swings and poor communication tore them apart.
“We started talking on Twitter in November 2018, and the attraction was instantaneous. We had such great synergy that I was convinced I’d met “the one. Everything moved very fast from there. I went to The Experience concert later that month, and we met there and talked until late.
In December, he visited me in Ibadan and asked me out.. During his visit, we spent a night together at a guest house, but I made it clear I wasn’t interested in premarital sex. He seemed okay with my decision, and I was already dreaming about taking his surname.
Later that night, I noticed he was quieter. When I asked, he said he didn’t like feeling rejected. So I made a mental note never to make him feel that way and brushed it off. But I should have noticed the mood swings were a bright red flag.
He was also a huge Arsenal fan, and whenever they lost, his mood swings took over completely. It didn’t help that they lost every match, so he was almost always moody. I had to learn to endure whatever came after the games. Outside of the football mood swings, other things set him off, too. I once visited him in Lagos with home-cooked meals. I’d planned to spend time with him and bond with his family before school resumption. When I arrived, he was quiet. Even though we had planned the trip together, I didn’t think about it too deeply. However, as the week wore on, he became grumpier by the day, and no matter how many times I asked what was wrong, he’d brush it off.
I eventually left his place for Ibadan on Friday after he told me earlier that a female bestie was coming to spend the weekend. I assumed that was my cue to leave. He later called me and said he didn’t want me to go, but I didn’t believe his words.
We broke up exactly one month into the relationship. I felt hurt when he asked to leave, but it was also freeing to be rid of his confusing emotional signals. I didn’t let the pain eat at me. Instead, I directed that energy into doing some volunteer work for an NGO. I don’t regret the experience because I learned a lot about what I didn’t want in a relationship.
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