In typical Nigerian fashion, the man is expected to be older (and somehow wiser) in most heterosexual relationships, but today, Nigerian women are flipping the script and taking younger lovers.
These five young women sat with Zikoko and spoke about dating younger men and why they prefer them.
“My boyfriend is ten months younger than me, and I’m having a much better time than I did with any of the older men I’ve dated.” — Ngozi* 29
I just started dating younger men. My current boyfriend is ten months younger than me, and I’m having a much better time than my exes, who were all older than I am. He’s gentle, genuinely interested in me and what I like, and never speaks condescendingly to me, even though I learn a lot from him.
I was averse to dating younger men in the past because I hadn’t seen anyone around me do it, but this experience has changed my stance. Don’t let an age gap (within reason) hold you back from experiencing love.
“Younger men seem so much more earnest.” — Beatrice*, 26
It’s a relatively new experience for me, but younger men seem so much more earnest. They show more vulnerability, and I believe it’s because they think you know more, being older. Younger men get that I don’t want to date you because of what you can “provide” or “do” for me. I just want to explore my feelings for them, but they’re always projecting their own assumptions on me.
“The younger guys I’ve dated are curious, and willing to learn.” — Paloma*, 28
For me, younger men are just more compatible with the lifestyle I want. There’s a quiet arrogance some older Nigerian men carry — like they believe their age automatically makes them better partners. Meanwhile, the younger guys I’ve dated are curious, willing to learn, and they don’t act like they’re doing you a favour by being with you.
The mutual respect is everything to me now. I’m not here to raise anyone’s son, but I’m also not here to be raised either. We’re equals.
“Something that stands out to me is that he knows how to express his emotions.” — Lizzie* 30
My boyfriend is two years younger than I am, and it’s been the best dating experience I’ve had so far. I won’t lie, I thought it was weird when he first asked me out —I hadn’t been with anyone younger before. But after three years together, it’s been both pleasant and transformative. For starters, he knows how to express his emotions.
Unlike my past experiences, he’s never tried to punish me with the silent treatment. We have similar hobbies, he’s affectionate and supportive of my passions, the same way I am of his.
“Dating younger guys is so fun!” – Bolawa*, 28
I started dating younger men two years ago when I was looking for a rebound after a bad break-up, and I haven’t looked back since.
One thing I’ve noticed about these younger men is that they’re so fun! They aren’t as uptight or controlling as the older guys I’ve been with. They know how to relax and joke around.
I haven’t dated anyone seriously since then, but I’m pretty sure if I get into a serious relationship again, it’ll be with someone two or three years younger than I am.
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