Jasmine* (21) got diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome after surviving a bike accident in 2024. Since then, she has had to combine managing her condition with school work and personal relationships.
In this story, she shares her journey from diagnosis to management and how this condition has impacted her relationships.
Early childhood
I wasn’t born with tourettes. Yet, before a doctor ever said something was wrong with me, I had always felt different and othered. I don’t remember my childhood with much clarity. Most of the memories that come to mind are of me alone in a corner. Everyone in primary school thought I was “the weird kid”, and so I don’t remember having any friends during that period. It created this deep urge to connect with the people around me, but that desire wasn’t fulfilled.
I wanted to fit in like the cool kids, to be liked and noticed, but things didn’t improve even when I moved on to secondary school. Throughout my secondary education, I only had two genuine friends. I was bullied a lot, and that made me very introverted. I’m still wary of bringing people into my life because I’m afraid of being hurt.
On getting diagnosed
In July 2024, I went out and lied to my parents that I was going to use a taxi to move around. I used a bike instead because it was faster, and I got into a nasty accident. It was pretty serious, and I had to get a blood transfusion during treatment.
After I recovered and went home, I noticed that I was having tics. Neck movements, rapid blinking and other rapid movements I found that I couldn’t control. It was very scary because I didn’t understand what was happening to me. My family was convinced it had something to do with the blood transfusion, but I thought otherwise. We went back to the hospital, and I did a series of tests, including MRIs, but the doctors said nothing was wrong with me or my brain. I wasn’t convinced because my tics were obvious. It was after my insistence that one of the doctors treating me suggested I go and see a neurosurgeon. It was the neurosurgeon who finally diagnosed me with Tourette’s.
My family was relieved but still side-eyed my condition. It’s as if they think the situation will eventually go away with prayer. Just recently, my mum was surprised that I still get tics when I’m stressed or in social situations.
Impact on romantic life
I don’t have much of a romantic life right now. I’m studying Physiotherapy at the university, and between school work and my aversion to social situations, I don’t often meet potential romantic partners. I don’t go out at all, even when I’m in school. If I’m not in class, I’m in my room. I’ve noticed that being in social settings stresses me out, and when I’m stressed, my tics are more pronounced. I hate that because people start looking at me weirdly when I’m ticking, and when they ask if I’m okay, I either have to brush it off and say I’m fine or launch into an explanation of what Tourette’s syndrome is, which can be exhausting, so I mostly keep to myself.
I’m also wary of introducing new people into my life because of my experience with bullying when I was younger. I have had some talking stages in the past year, and they have been very accommodating when I share that I have Tourette’s. It’s mostly because they don’t notice my tics until I bring them up, but it has been a relief to know that it’s not a huge impediment to me finding romance.
Impact on other interpersonal relationships
Tourette’s hasn’t had a big impact on the other interpersonal relationships I have. Because I cautiously curate the people I allow into my space, I’m surrounded by people who care about me and accommodate me as my full self. I’ve never felt odd around them because they don’t treat my tics like they’re a big deal.
I’m currently finishing my IT year working at a government clinic. It has been surprisingly accommodating as well. It’s a high-stress environment, so sometimes my tics are a bit more pronounced, but I’m able to do my job and improve my skills. I still get the odd looks and intrusive questions sometimes, but they aren’t as often or as common.
On the support she needs but struggles to ask for
I wish that more people would be patient with me. My tics become much harder to control when I get anxious or stressed out. It’s so much worse when I feel like the person I’m trying to communicate with is being impatient with me. Especially because of my social experiences growing up, I need a bit more time to get comfortable and relaxed when in social situations so I’d appreciate more patience.
On what Nigerians should be more aware of concerning unfamiliar conditions
Nigerians need to understand that there are many people living with a myriad of conditions, and they need to educate themselves about it. Staring, pointing and passing unsolicited comments are rude and unnecessary. Tourette’s isn’t an “oyinbo sickness” I and many other Nigerians live with this condition and our experiences are real and valid. They can ask questions if they want to know more, but they have to do so politely. Some people just say, “What’s wrong with this one?” or “Is this one running mad or something?” as if that’s how to speak to someone you don’t know. The ignorance can be very jarring and is part of what makes socialising difficult for me — the fear of the reactions of strangers.
Also, just because you have some neurological disorders doesn’t mean that you are mentally insane or that there’s something terribly wrong with you. Yes, I have a disorder, but it doesn’t affect my thinking.
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