Sometimes, life puts you in messy situations where you’re not sure if you’re doing the right thing or not. That’s what Na Me F— Up? is about — real Nigerians sharing the choices they’ve made, while you decide if they fucked up or not.
Moje* (29) thought her relationship with Gbolahan* (30) was casual, so when she met Dimeji*, she didn’t think twice about giving him her number. When Gbolahan found out and reacted like a betrayed boyfriend, she was left wondering if she’d crossed a line she didn’t know existed.
This is Moje’s dilemma as told to Betty
I met Gbolahan at a mutual friend’s birthday party in September 2024. He was my type: tall, dark, and stylish. I immediately felt drawn to him when he came up to talk to me, and we spent the rest of the party together.
After that, we texted every day on WhatsApp and hung out on weekends. Honestly, I would’ve loved to be Gbolahan’s girlfriend — I liked him a lot — but he made it clear from the start that he wasn’t looking for anything serious. He said he’d just come out of a two-year relationship and needed time to heal. I understood, and since we had great chemistry in and out of bed, I didn’t mind keeping things casual.
By May of this year, however, things began to shift. Gbolahan had gotten busier at work, so our weekend hangouts became less frequent. Our conversations also slowed down. We still texted daily, but it was mostly quick morning or night check-ins, rather than long chats throughout the day. I assumed things were naturally fizzling out, so when I met Dimeji* at a bar one Friday night, I didn’t mind giving him my number, and we started seeing each other casually.
Dimeji was fun. He knew everyone, got invited to the hottest Lagos parties, and always had a new spot to try.
It was at one of these parties that I ran into Gbolahan’s friend and said hello. The next morning, he sent a text, “Who were you with last night?”. I didn’t have anything to hide, so I told him I had gone out with Dimeji. He didn’t like that at all.
He asked me how I would feel if I found out my boyfriend followed other women to the club. I was confused. I would be upset if my boyfriend did that, but Gbolahan wasn’t my boyfriend. I told him this, and he went silent.
He showed up at my apartment unannounced later in the evening to confront me. He accused me of cheating and toying with his emotions. I reminded him that he was the one who said he didn’t want anything serious, but that only made him more upset. He told me he’d cut off everyone else because he’d started to take me seriously. He left not long after, still seething with anger.
I broke things off with Dimeji that same night, but things have been strained between Gbolahan and me. He still feels betrayed, but I genuinely didn’t know we were exclusive. I didn’t mean to hurt him, but now I keep wondering about what happened. Should I have clarified my relationship with Gbohalan before getting with Dimeji? Was this my f— up?
We’re creating something Nigeria has never had: a comprehensive, data-backed report on how young Nigerians really experience love, dating, marriage, and relationships.
But we need your voices to make it happen. Whether you’re: single and navigating the dating scene, in a relationship trying to figure it out, married and living the reality, divorced and healing, engaged and planning your future, your experience matters. This survey is 100% anonymous.
Participate here to help shape the national conversation about love in Nigeria.
ALSO READ: Na Me F–Up? My Sister-in-Law Got Too Comfortable, So I Sent Her Packing
