Morayo*(28) and Motun* (28) became friends as first-year students in university and built a bond that survived into adulthood.
But their friendship started to disintegrate after Morayo introduced Motun to her childhood friend, Tomi*, and they both joined Tomi’s online prayer group. Almost immediately, the dynamics shifted and subtle religious manipulation slowly pushed the women apart, leaving their nearly decade-long friendship hanging by a thread.
This is Morayo’s story as told to Betty:
I love my religion, and I love God, but if you’d told me that it would destroy a friendship I’d had for almost ten years, I wouldn’t have believed you.
Motun and I met in 2014 in 100L. We didn’t become close immediately, but over time, we got closer and formed a friend group with another coursemate. Even in that trio, Motun and I were tighter and shared everything with each other. By our final year, we’d grown so close that our families knew about our friendship. After school, when we served in Ibadan, I visited her every weekend.
Before Motun, there was another childhood friend, Tomi*, in the picture and because I like people around me to get along, I introduced Motun and Tomi in 2017. It felt like an easy, natural blending of my school life and home life.
Not too long after, Tomi said she felt led to start a prayer group and asked if I was interested. I admired her fervour and joined the group. Each week, we gathered online to pray together and share the word of God; I really enjoyed the sense of community.
Then one day in 2020, during a call, Motun mentioned she was struggling spiritually and wanted to take her prayers more seriously. Tomi’s prayer group immediately came to mind, and I suggested she join. At first, everything went well. She joined our weekly prayer sessions, studied the Bible with us, and soon started to feel better about her spiritual life.
Things took an unexpected turn around the Valentine’s Day celebration in 2021. Tomi had grown in her spiritual life and tagged herself a prophetess. She’d share personal visions with members in the prayer group during weekly prayer sessions.
One day in June 2021, she prophesied that Motun’s “God ordained” husband was in the prayer group and that if she didn’t marry him, she would face personal setbacks. The problem? Motun already had a boyfriend. In the days and weeks that followed, the prophecy left her uneasy. I tried to persuade her, adding that she should let time test whatever she heard, but she wouldn’t budge. Instead, she tried to pull away from our friendship. She threw herself into the prayer group, trying to make sense of the prophecy. I’d never seen her so scared.
As weeks passed, Tomi kept pressuring her about meeting this “ordained husband”. She even started pestering me. She once called, asking why Motun wasn’t taking the prophecy seriously and insinuating that she was dating her boyfriend because he had money. It felt inappropriate. I defended Motun and said she was taking her time.
I became sceptical because the so-called ‘God ordained husband’ was close friends with Tomi. I suspected she was misusing her influence to matchmake them.
By December 2021, I was shocked to find out Motun had ended things with her boyfriend and started dating the guy Tomi pointed out. I thought it was weird, but I kept quiet so I wouldn’t seem like someone against “God’s plan” for her life.
Meanwhile, Tomi’s prophecies got wilder. In one session, she claimed I had to start attending my childhood church again or I wouldn’t find a husband. I ignored it. But when she later said God was angry with me for not doing it, that was my last straw. I left the group and cut Tomi off. I tried to keep things cordial with Motun because I still saw her as my best friend.
But after I left, my friendship with Motun became strained. Our conversations became short, dry, and she seemed distant. When I tried to visit her, she’d say she wasn’t around. Even my family noticed. She missed my family functions, and when my mum called her to ask why, she gave flimsy excuses.
My family kept encouraging me to reach out, but no matter what I tried, she only responded coldly. It felt like she had already detached.
Things collapsed completely in June 2022. On my birthday, she sent a very formal message and ended it by asking whether I would heed Tomi’s prophecy about returning to my childhood church so I could find a husband.
I ignored that part and teased her about sounding so serious. Instead of laughing, she got offended and accused me of saying she didn’t know how to communicate properly. I tried to explain it was a joke, but she remained angry and stopped talking to me entirely. I felt hurt and confused.
While I dealt with that, Tomi grew more vindictive. She still attended our childhood church and started spreading rumours about my mum and me. She said I lied about the prayer group and that my mum was spreading those lies. I warned her to stop mentioning my mum, but by then it was too late. Church members stopped greeting me during holiday services. I felt ostracised. I deleted their numbers, blocked them on social media and walked away. I regretted ever letting Tomi into my friendship with Motun.
***
Almost two years passed, and in May 2024, out of nowhere, Motun texted me, “Hi”. I was shocked and felt tempted to ignore it, but I’d missed our friendship. I responded, and she apologised, saying how she wanted us to reconcile. It didn’t feel like before, but I was willing to give our friendship another chance.
I asked why she cut me off so harshly two years ago. That was when she revealed Tomi had been feeding her gossip and insinuating it came from me. Tomi told her I said she liked dating Yahoo boys, which was false. I told her the truth, and we resolved it. She asked if I would attend her wedding in December if she invited me. I said yes.
I was heavily involved in the planning and preparations for her wedding. Our friendship felt like old times again. It was as if all the time we’d spent apart was just a blip in the timeline of our sisterhood. Funny enough, I saw Tomi at the wedding and pretended I’d never met her. I was determined not to enter her drama again.
After the wedding, my friendship with Motun deepened again. When my sister had a baby in January 2024, I posted the news, and Motun reached out. She said she felt torn about trying for a baby because her older sister had been trying with no luck.
I know how society treats women searching for the fruit of the womb. As support, I introduced her to the Hallelujah Challenge, and we included her sister in our prayer points.
I thought this religious connection strengthened our bond, but a few weeks later, her energy changed again for no reason. This time, I refused to beat myself up about it. I was going through a challenging phase with my health and my job, and I refused to hold space for someone who wouldn’t speak up.
My cousin later told me she suspected Motun was pregnant after seeing her WhatsApp status. Motun never told me, even after confiding in me earlier. That silence hurt more than I expected. It made me realise our reconciliation was only surface-level. She had moved on, and maybe I needed to accept that.
I didn’t reach out to congratulate her. Not because I was angry, but because I didn’t want her to force anything. There was a time when we told each other everything. Trying to recreate that now feels fake.
Looking back, I blame Tomi for most of what happened. I believe she was jealous of the bond Motun and I shared, which was why she sowed so much discord between us.
Today, I’m cordial with Motun but distant. I busy myself with my life and my faith. I don’t force friendships, and I’ve accepted that not every reconciliation leads to a happy ending. I still miss what Motun and I used to share, but I’ve accepted that our friendship will never be like how it used to be before.
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