You can choose your partner, but how much power do you really have over who else your heart — or body — pays attention to? For some people, the most awkward plot twist isn’t cheating with a stranger or an ex. It’s developing feelings for someone dangerously close, like their partner’s family.
In this story, five people share how an unexpected attraction pulled them into the mess of wanting the one person they knew they shouldn’t.
I started having vivid, sexual dreams about my sister- in- law” — Daramola*, 41
Before his wife lost the battle to cancer, Daramola*’s sister-in-law stepped in to assist. But grief quickly gave way to when he started to see her differently.
“When doctors diagnosed my wife with late-stage uterine cancer, she asked her younger sister to move in and help with the kids. I spent most of my time in the hospital and couldn’t handle things at home alone.
After my wife passed, her sister stayed on to care for our two young children while I mourned. At first, I felt grateful to have her around. She was helpful, respectful, and the kids were attached to her.
But a few months later, I noticed she’d started dressing differently around the house— bum shorts, see-through clothes. I felt uncomfortable, especially as a pastor. But the children needed her, and she hadn’t found a job yet, so I kept quiet. That silence was a mistake.
Before long, I started having vivid, sexual dreams about her. I never said or did anything inappropriate, but the dreams often left me ashamed.
I eventually told my mother-in-law what had been happening, hoping she’d speak to her daughter. To my shock, she brushed it off. She said in their culture, it wouldn’t be strange for me to marry my late wife’s sister.
That was a huge betrayal to me. How would my children interpret it years from now? I knew I had to act fast. I hired a nanny and asked Esther to move out. Her family didn’t take it well, but I have no regrets. If you ever find yourself in that kind of grey area, attack it immediately.”
“I used my boyfriend to get closer to his brother” — Fatima*, 21
For Fatima*, her plans to use one brother to get the other became a traumatic experience, which backfired.
“It started in SS1. I had a huge crush on this popular senior whom everyone liked. He was handsome, brilliant and always surrounded by girls. I wanted him to notice me, but instead of approaching him directly, I started dating his younger brother, Lolu*. I didn’t even like Lolu, I just wanted to get close to his brother, Farouq*.
We all attended the same boarding school, and Farouq used to tutor Lolu after prep. I’d always sit with them, acting like I was just there to support my boyfriend. But truthfully, I lived for those moments with Farouq.
One day, I got bold enough to write him a note confessing how I felt. He replied that he liked me too and asked me to meet him privately. I knew it was wrong, but I went. I also gave him oral sex that day, thinking it would make him like me. But I was wrong.
The following week, both he and Lolu stopped talking to me. Then the rumours started. Farouq told people we had sex (which wasn’t true), and everyone started calling me names. I was labelled an ashewo. The shame became unbearable, and I eventually had to change schools. It’s been years, but that experience scarred me in ways I’m still trying to process.”
“He felt like an upgraded version of my husband” — Helen*, 32
What do you do when your husband’s older brother feels like the man you should have married? Helen* found herself in this tough spot.
“I married my best friend, Moses*. We grew up as family friends, so getting married felt like a natural next step. He’s the youngest of three, and I hadn’t seen his eldest brother, Elija*, since primary school. He’d always been away and later moved to South Africa.
We reconnected just before the wedding, and I couldn’t believe how attractive he’d become. He was like a more confident, upgraded version of Moses. It threw me off. I told myself it was just pre-wedding nerves and excitement, that once he left again, things would go back to normal.
Elijah returned to South Africa after the wedding, and for three years, I genuinely forgot about all those feelings. But he moved back after a divorce, and started visiting us often. That was when I noticed how his eye contact and touches lingered.
One night, while Moses was away on a work trip, Elijah and I made out. I think it happened because both felt vulnerable. He had just lost his marriage, and I was dealing with infertility.
We told ourselves it was a mistake, but we kissed and touched a few more times over the next year. We never had sex, but crossed enough lines to leave me feeling like I was betraying my marriage.
He eventually left for South Africa again, but we kept texting and even exchanged nudes at some point. But the guilt became unbearable, and Elijah’s lack of remorse made me sick. I told him to stop texting, and for the most part, we haven’t spoken in the past year. There’ve been relapses, but I’ve mostly stuck to my decision.”
Read Also: An Abortion Made Me Lose My Soulmate
“When it comes to raw attraction, it’s her cousin who has my attention” — Jay*, 26
Jay is emotionally committed to his girlfriend but physically drawn to someone else in her house, and it’s tearing him up inside.
“I started dating Precious* earlier this year. She’s sweet, soft-spoken, and everything you’d expect from a typical good girl. She lives with her cousin, Regina*, who’s the complete opposite. She’s a loud and wild alte babe.
They’re close, but Precious complains about her a lot — how she smokes and has weird kinks. But the more she talks, the more intrigued I become. Regina’s openness about her sexuality is so hot in a way I can’t explain.
Now, I think about her more than I should. Even when I’m with Precious, my mind drifts. I imagine being with her cousin, even just once.
I love talking to Precious. She gets me emotionally, and we’re compatible in every other way. But when it comes to raw attraction, Regina has my attention. Maybe if I just slept with her once, I’d get over the obsession.”
“I’m marrying one twin, but I can’t stop thinking about the other” — Iyanu*, 28
Iyanu* can’t explain the intense pull she feels towards her fiancé’s twin. It’s become a secret that affects their dynamic.
“Ever since my fiancé, Taiwo*, introduced me to his family, I’ve felt unsettled — and not for any obvious reason. It started the moment I met his twin, Kenny*. From the very first hello, I felt something intense. It’s not even lust, just this weird magnetic pull. And that’s what scares me the most.
They’re not even identical, so it’s not about physical confusion. Kenny showed up to that first meeting with his girlfriend, and yet, all I could focus on was how strongly I felt around him. I went home that day and Googled, ‘Is it normal to be attracted to your fiancé’s twin?’ I found a few random posts that said it happens sometimes, but this still feels abnormal.
Now, every time we all hang out, I overanalyse Kenny’s words and actions, wondering if he feels it too, or if I’m imagining things. I’ve never acted on it, and I don’t plan to. But I hate that this is even a thing. I love Taiwo and I want to be with him.
I guess I haven’t hidden the awkwardness well because Taiwo recently said Kenny feels I don’t like him. He said he’s noticed it too. I found it funny, if only they knew the truth.”
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