Author: Nwachukwu Marisvega

Being a bridesmaid means standing beside your friend on one of the biggest days of her life. But somewhere between the asoebi, bridal shower and wedding reception, things can go very wrong.

We asked bridesmaids to tell us about the moment a wedding changed their friendship forever, and they had stories for days.

 “I was invited as chief bridesmaid, but became the help” — Favour, 28 

She was my neighbour before we became friends. When she announced her wedding, she asked me to be her chief bridesmaid. I initially declined because the wedding was in her village, and I couldn’t afford the trip or asoebi. She begged me to come and promised to reimburse me, so I agreed.

I spent my savings travelling to Uyo, only to be treated like a house help. She tried to squeeze me and 11 other people into one hotel room, so I paid for another. Later, she showed up with six more people and expected me to accommodate them too.

The worst part came on the wedding day when I discovered she already had a chief bridesmaid. Apparently, my duties were holding her bags, bathing children, washing plates, and basically being her slave. I left during the wedding. She never called to ask why, and I never called her either.

“Asoebi ended our seven-year friendship ” — Jessica, 27

My friend was getting married and added me to the asoebi group. She then called to sweet-talk me into buying it, even though I’d already told her I wouldn’t be around for the wedding. Maybe she thought I was bluffing because I really didn’t show up, and I obviously didn’t buy the asoebi. 

Still, I wanted to support her, so I decided to send her a monetary gift. I called several times, but she ignored me. When we finally met, she shared exactly how she felt. She was angry that I hadn’t bought the asoebi, and after we argued about it, she ended our seven-year friendship. Me? Sad ke? Congratulations to you and yours. 

“I was a bridesmaid, not the bride’s punching bag” — Chiasoka, 33 

I was one of my friend’s bridesmaids, and from the moment we arrived at the venue, she started shouting at everyone. Someone misplaced her makeup bag and she screamed. When one of the bridesmaids sat down for five minutes, she yelled that we were “useless.”

I tried to stay out of it until she turned on  me because I didn’t bring her water quickly enough. She called me a lazy girl in front of everyone.  At that point, I just laughed because I could feel my crazy loading. I told her she was mannerless and uncouth, then walked away before I said something worse.

Instead of leaving empty-handed, I went to the servers and told them the bride wanted food packed in a cooler for her brother. I collected it, booked a ride, removed my gele and checked into a hotel.

“She befriended me because she needed someone for her bridal train” — Anu, 28

I met this girl and immediately liked her. She approached me, our vibes matched, and she insisted we exchanged contacts. We talked for a week, met some girls for brunch, and we developed a bond. 

Then she told me she had returned to Nigeria to get married and wanted me on her bridal train. I was surprised , but happily accepted. I bought asoebi, attended rehearsals and showed up for  the wedding. Then, everything changed. She barely responded  to my texts or calls, and I realised she had returned to the UK.

When I confronted her, she admitted she’d only needed someone who fit the aesthetic she wanted for her bridal train because she barely had friends in Nigeria. I froze. A whole me? I cursed her out, and we blocked each other.

“She threw the cake and I threw hands” — Olamide, 26

My friend’s bridal shower was going perfectly until one woman decided to become the villain. While playing a game, the host asked her to say something, but she refused. Then she started snapping at everyone asking her to participate.

To make it worse,  she said, “The bride wouldn’t even be sitting here if it wasn’t for my brother.”  Her words were completely disrespectful, so I told her to leave  if she was uncomfortable. She called me names and accused us of being leeches. I gave it right back to her.Then she threw the cake on the floor.

Something in me snapped. I attacked her before people pulled us apart. I expected my friend to understand why I’d reacted, but instead, she told me I was the one who had crossed the line.  That broke me. I had just fought for you. And somehow, I was the problem. I left the shower and that was the end of our friendship.  She has tried rekindling things since then, but I’m not interested. 

“I ruined my friend’s wedding night with one drunken confession” — Lara, 34

My friend was getting married to a man I used to date. When we found out, we agreed to keep our past to ourselves. Whatever happened between us was over, and I didn’t see the point in hurting her with it.

A week before the wedding, I ran into him at a bar. We drank, talked about old times, and somehow, we slept together. I hated myself afterwards and blamed the alcohol. I decided I’d take the secret to my grave.

Then came the wedding. After the vows, my friend wouldn’t stop reminding me that I was the only single one left. “Find a good man”. “He’ll never be like mine.” She kept going.  By the after-party, I was drunk, fed up, and tired of hearing it. I blurted out that I’d slept with her husband the week before which meant she was still in need of a good man too. 

Those words ruined everything.. They tried to save the marriage, but divorced three months later. Her husband still texts me. 

“ The bride didn’t like my joke” — Ivie, 29

At my friend’s wedding, the MC asked a few of us to say something about the bride. I said plenty of sweet things, then turned to the groom and joked, “Please be careful with my friend. She has small madness, so don’t bring it out.” Everyone laughed, including the groom. But not the bride.

Later, she pulled me aside and asked how I could embarrass her like that. I genuinely didn’t understand. She said I’d disrespected her and made people think she wasn’t well-rounded. She was shouting at me, so I apologised and explained it was obviously a joke, but she wouldn’t hear it.

When the other bridesmaids joined us, they were confused too. I just hissed and walked away, annoyed. I texted her later the next day to apologise again. By then, she’d  blocked me everywhere.

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