Tamara* (27) and Lauretta* (26) became best friends after meeting in 2020 and built a bond they believed could withstand anything. But when their romantic lives began to intertwine with their friendship, that certainty began to unravel.

This is Tamara and Lauretta’s story, as shared with Mofiyinfoluwa

Tamara: We met in December 2020 when we were preparing to enter our third year at uni. I resumed earlier than most people, and the hostel felt empty. I had seen Lauretta around before, but we weren’t close.

One day, she knocked on my door looking for someone to braid her hair. I offered to help, and we chatted while I did it. That was the beginning of our friendship.

Lauretta: I’m naturally introverted and hardly warm up to people, but Tamara was different. She was warm and welcoming. Even after that day, she kept checking on me and eventually pulled me into her social circle. Before long, she became my best friend.

Tamara: What I loved most about Lauretta was how easily we understood each other. I had other friends, but none of them really got me the way she did. We were always together.

Then, in mid-2021, I met Gafar* during night class. We became close quickly and eventually started dating. Looking back now, that relationship probably formed the first cracks in our friendship.

Lauretta: I actually encouraged the relationship at the time. Gafar seemed like a decent guy, and as things got more serious between them, the three of us naturally became close. But to be clear, Gafar and I were just friendly.

Tamara: About a year into the relationship, things started falling apart. During the Christmas break in 2022, Gafar completely ghosted me. He wouldn’t pick up my calls or reply to my texts.

Lauretta: She was in a bad place, and I hated seeing her like that. I stepped in and spoke to him on her behalf. Eventually, they reconciled, but after that, their relationship was always on and off. I took her side as much as I could.

Tamara: By March 2023, he admitted his feelings had changed, and we ended things. It hurt, but I accepted it because I didn’t want to beg someone to stay. What I didn’t expect was that Lauretta would keep trying to put us in the same spaces afterwards.

Lauretta: The breakup was amicable, so I didn’t think cutting him off completely made sense. They had both agreed to remain friends, and I simply followed her lead.

Maybe I wasn’t sensitive enough, but without Tamara, Gafar and I weren’t even talking that much. Once in a while, he’d invite me out, and I didn’t see a reason to refuse.

Tamara: I didn’t have a problem with their friendship until months later, when another friend casually mentioned that Gafar had told Lauretta he was already losing interest in me while we were still dating.

If I had known, I would have walked away months earlier instead of trying to fix something that was already dead.

When I dug deeper, I found out he had even suggested to Lauretta that both of them might have worked better as a couple. It hurt that she never told me.

Lauretta: When Gafar made that comment, I shut it down instantly because it was inappropriate. To me, that was the end of it. There was nothing to report because nothing happened.

I also didn’t want to involve myself in their relationship or influence her decisions. Honestly, I knew how emotional she could be, and I thought telling her would only complicate our dynamic.

Looking back now, I should have said something. But at the time, I believed I was protecting her.

Tamara: After I confronted Lauretta, I expected her to naturally create distance with Gafar. Instead, they still hung out, and sometimes she even invited me along.

I shouldn’t have had to spell out my discomfort like I always did in her case. With time, I gradually got over it, and our friendship stayed strong. Then Lauretta got into her own relationship.

Lauretta: I met Prince in July 2024 at a rave we attended with mutual friends, including Tamara. He was lively, charming, and everything moved fast. It was my first real relationship, and I gave it my all.

Tamara: Prince was lively and jovial, just like me, so we naturally became friends. We grew even closer because I sometimes cook for money, and he was a party organiser. So, he often sent catering opportunities my way. 

Lauretta: A few months into my relationship, I started noticing details that didn’t add up. Prince was hiding parts of his life and seemed emotionally distant. This continued for months before I eventually discovered he had a serious girlfriend in another state.

What hurt almost as much as that discovery was seeing that Tamara didn’t stand up for me the way I once stood up for her during her issues with Gafar.

Tamara: I supported her emotionally, but I didn’t want to insert myself without concrete proof while they were still together. When she began to suspect Prince, I advised her based on what I had observed.

After they broke up, I confronted him, and that was when Prince told me he wasn’t the only one who had crossed a line. He claimed Lauretta had once kissed one of his friends.

As her best friend, that was the first time I was hearing of it.

Lauretta: The kiss happened during a rough patch in our relationship. It was a mistake and meant nothing, which is why I didn’t think I needed to announce it.

I was upset by Tamara’s reaction. She called me hypocritical while still maintaining a friendship with Prince, the same man who had shattered me.

The dynamic was different. Gafar and Tamara had an okay breakup, but mine with  Prince was ugly. I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with him, so I expected my best friend to take that stance with me.

Tamara: My friendship with Prince existed outside their relationship. I still had to do business with him and was careful not to bring him into her space or talk about him around her after the breakup.

Contrary to what she believes, I wasn’t trying to pay her back. When I called her a hypocrite, I was simply being objective. She has always liked to present herself in a good light while keeping things from me, even though I was always vulnerable with her.

Lauretta: I admit I had my faults, but watching her laugh and gist with Prince months after my breakup, knowing how I felt, hurt more than I expected. It made me feel replaceable.

When I really thought about it, I realised this wasn’t the first time I’d felt secondary in her life. It often seemed like she rotated friendships and returned to me when others faded.

I didn’t want to grow resentful, so I started pulling away.

Tamara: I sensed the distance immediately. Every time I asked what was wrong, she’d say nothing.

Then, in June 2025, I noticed she removed me from her Snapchat best friends list. Our streak disappeared, and she stopped visiting. Every attempt to make plans came with an excuse. Eventually, I read the writing on the wall and gave her space.

Lauretta: A mutual friend eventually got us into the same room last November, and we finally talked. We didn’t agree on everything, but we chose to be cordial.

I’m over the relationship that triggered all this, even though I’m not keen on her continued friendship with Prince. 

Tamara: I still care about Lauretta deeply. We’re cool now, but not as tight as we used to be. If we ever go back to being best friends, she’ll have to be willing to address her secrecy and avoidance problems.

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