Jenny* (30) and Dele* (34) met in 2022 after a chance encounter on a rainy afternoon turned into something deeper. What began as a sweet connection soon spiralled into love, loss, and difficult choices that tested their bond.
In this story, they open up about falling in love, facing grief, and how an unplanned pregnancy split them up.
This is Jenny and Dele’s story as shared with Mofiyinfoluwa
Jenny: I met Dele in August 2022. I’d gone to the market for supplies when it started pouring. I didn’t have an umbrella, so I was walking in the rain, trying to flag down a bus. Then a car stopped in front of me, and he offered me a ride. Normally, I’d never get into a stranger’s car, but that day, I was desperate.
Dele: I was driving home from an errand in the area when I saw her— drenched and struggling with two heavy bags. I’m the type who helps if I can, so I stopped. I didn’t plan for anything beyond that.
Jenny: He insisted on dropping me off at home. We vibed easily during the ride. Dele told me he was a music producer who managed artists, and I mentioned my catering business. We exchanged numbers, and he said he’d reach out for gigs, which I thought was nice.
He even walked me to my gate with his umbrella. It felt really gentlemanly. For days, I waited for his text, but it never came.
Dele: She was a fine babe who crossed my mind a few times, but I didn’t want her to think I only helped because I wanted something. Then one day, she texted, joking that I’d forgotten her. That was how we started talking again.
Jenny: By then, it had been almost two weeks since we met. We started talking again, and soon, we were meeting up often. I’ll give it to him; he was sweet and romantic. I wasn’t even the calling type before, but he made me one. After two months of talking daily, he asked me out in October.
It was cute in the beginning.
Dele: Those early days were beautiful. We didn’t even sleep together for almost two months. We just went on dates and got to know each other. It reminded me what real love should feel like.
Jenny: But when we eventually got together physically, things changed. I’m more adventurous than he is sexually, and it created a disconnect. It made me question if we were compatible.
Dele: Jenny expected me to be experimental because I’m a creative, but I’m a simple guy. I didn’t want to pretend to be someone else just to please her.
Jenny: I never asked him to change. I just wanted him to be more open. I tried introducing sex toys and role play, but he didn’t like it. He thought it meant he wasn’t good enough, which wasn’t true. I explained that trying new things didn’t make him less of a man, but he made it awkward.
The first few months were hard, but we eventually found a rhythm.
Dele: Ironically, that was when everything else started to fall apart.
I lost my mum in June 2023. It was sudden. She was diagnosed with cancer and died in less than three months. Losing her changed me. I started drinking and pushing everyone away, including Jenny.
Jenny: I understood his grief. Still, it was tough to handle. I thought it was a phase, but it only got worse. He’d promise to stop drinking, but I’d show up and find him drunk or passed out. I was putting in all the effort to hold us together.
Then, in November 2023, I found out I was pregnant.
Dele: The pregnancy came as a shock, but I also saw it as a good sign.
My mum’s death had left me questioning life, so I saw the baby as a new beginning and a gift from her. I proposed on Christmas Eve, and she said yes.
Jenny: I accepted, but deep down, I wasn’t sure. He was still drinking, and I couldn’t ignore our differences. I worked two jobs while he mostly lived off his dad’s money. I loved him, but I didn’t trust that he could handle fatherhood. When I voiced my fears, he got defensive and said I didn’t love him enough.
Dele: By then, I was trying to get my life together. I’d started working again and cut down on drinking, but she kept pulling away. I felt she wasn’t seeing how hard I was trying.
Still, I suggested we go ahead with a small family introduction that eventually happened in mid-January.
Jenny: That day broke me. It was a small event, but as the first child, it meant a lot to my parents.
Dele arrived late, came without his father, and was clearly drunk. We still went through with it, but in that moment, I knew I had to step back. His behaviour, on such an important day, showed me he wasn’t ready to take responsibility.
Dele: I drank that day because I was nervous, not because I didn’t care. She was also upset that my dad didn’t attend, even though I explained he was away on a trip. I came with my uncles, but I guess it wasn’t enough.
Jenny: His father never treated me or my family with respect. It was clear he didn’t see us as equals. And to miss his only child’s introduction? It made me question if I wanted to marry into their family.
By the first week of February, I decided to have an abortion. I didn’t tell Dele because I already knew how he’d react.
Dele: At first, she told me she’d miscarried, and I believed. Finding out the truth was one of the most painful moments of my life. That baby meant everything to me after losing my mum. I knew it was her body and choice, but I still felt I deserved to be part of the decision.
We should’ve talked about it.
Jenny: I admit I should’ve been honest, but I also knew how emotionally attached he was.
However, while I was still nursing my pain, I found out he had told my parents. I hadn’t even told them I was pregnant, let alone that I’d had an abortion. My mum cried for days. My dad was angry and disappointed. It was humiliating and painful, especially coming from someone who knew how much guilt I was already battling.
Dele: I didn’t tell her parents to get revenge. I was overwhelmed, confused, and emotional. I just wanted them to help her understand how deeply she’d hurt me. Looking back, I know I shouldn’t have done that.
Jenny: Even if that wasn’t his intent, it still felt vindictive. I’d already explained that I had the abortion, not because I wanted to end things, but because I needed time to figure out if this was really what I wanted. But he threw me under the bus.
Our relationship grew tense for months. We were still technically engaged, but my heart had checked out. He couldn’t move past the abortion. Every argument circled back to it, and he’d tie it to his mum’s death as though it was a punishment for my actions.
Dele: I really tried to make things right after that. By then, I’d gotten my life together, but it felt like she had already given up. Then I noticed she started talking to other guys, and that hurt me even more.
Jenny: By the end of 2024, I just wanted peace. I tried to make new friends, but he kept accusing me of flirting with other men. It was exhausting, so I called off the engagement in December.
Dele: The breakup shattered me. I couldn’t understand why she was walking away after everything we’d been through. What made it worse was finding out she’d gone on a date barely two weeks later. I’m not saying she cheated, but it felt like a betrayal.
Jenny: Even after we broke up, he tried to guilt-trip me. He told my family I’d left him for another man, which wasn’t true. That date was just me trying to move on, but he made it seem like I was a cheat. It felt like emotional blackmail, and that was the last straw.
Dele: I didn’t know how else to reach her. I thought her family could help us fix things. Around the new year, she called, cursed me out, and told me to stay away from her and her family. It hurt, but I respected her wishes and focused on moving forward.
Then, in July, she reached out to wish me a happy birthday, and that opened the door again. We addressed the past and apologised. Since then, we’ve stayed in touch. I still love her, but I’m not sure what the future holds.
Jenny: Wishing him a happy birthday was really just to make peace. I felt guilty about how things ended, and part of me still cared for him.
He didn’t mention it, but since we reconnected, we’ve hooked up a few times. I know it’s not healthy, especially since I’m seeing someone else. We’ve tried to define what we are, but we’re still figuring it out.
If we ever get back together, it will have to be different. We both need to heal completely before we can be anything more to each other again.
Read Next: We Left Our Partners for Each Other, Then He Cheated
