Every Nigerian has come across someone with dragon breath at least once. They speak to you, and it feels like getting slapped across the nose with a bouquet of interesting, terrible smells.
Now, if this person is your friend, you can’t just tell them directly or worse, at the wrong time, unless you want them to say, “So it’s me you’re embarrassing in public, abi?” and block you. Instead, the wise approach is to gift them things that help out their oral hygiene without actually saying it.
Here are five subtle but effective gift ideas to share with a friend with spicy breath.
“Minty chewing gum will save you” — Ade*, M, (25),
Ade says if you can’t buy them the odour eradicating Closeup toothpaste, buy them minty chewing gum . Not the roadside gum that tastes like sweet plastic and dies in 2 minutes. We mean the strong, minty, clear-your-airways type. Gift it with a casual: “I thought about you, and bought an extra one!” Then keep offering until it becomes their new addiction. This was what saved Ade back in secondary school.
“My seat partner in SS3 had the worst breath I had ever smelled and loved to whisper to me during class, it was hell! I didn’t know how to tell him without hurting his feelings, so during our break, I started buying the strongest spearmint chewing gum sold in school every day. Then I would “share” them with him randomly during the day. It was the only way I could survive the entire term.”
“When in doubt, gift them a self-care hamper” — Bimpe*, F, (54)
A nicely curated self-care package can do the job of telling your friend to pay more attention to their breath. Package it nicely: some tea, maybe chinchin, a candle, then sneak in a shiny new toothbrush, some mouthwash and a tube of Close Up toothpaste. Bimpe recalls doing something similar for her nephew.
“In 2006, my teenage nephew came to spend the summer holidays with me. He was a lovely child, but his oral hygiene was nothing to write home about. I didn’t want to make him feel self-conscious about it, so I made him a “summer pack” with a few clothes, deodorant, toothpaste, mouthwash, and a tin of mints. He was very happy with his gift, and even better? The air smelled great when he spoke to me for the rest of his stay.”
“A spa date plus a “surprise” dental voucher” — Bolu*, F, (32)
Bolu says to tell them it’s a gift to pamper themselves. They’ll be so happy they won’t flinch at the dental voucher, they’ll think it’s part of the pampering experience. (And technically, it is.)
“One time, my twin brother was going through a rough break-up and picked up the habit of chewing on one foul-smelling ginseng root candy. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn’t budge. I was tired of his breath when he was around me, so I suggested we do a twin pamper day. We went for a full-body massage, a dental cleaning right after and ended with dinner. He didn’t suspect a thing, and I don’t regret a dime I spent on it.
“Buy toothpaste for them as a gift” – Tolani*, F, (28)
Tolani thinks that if you really want to be smooth with it, you need to rave about it and gift them a toothpaste brand that delivers excellent results.
“This has rarely happened to me, but in 2019, when I didn’t know how to tell my friend that her breath smelled off on several occasions, I started raving about my toothpaste every time we spoke. She thought I was doing too much at first, but I hyped it up to the point that when I finally gave her one as a gift, she was curious to try that Tolani’s toothpaste that whitens, freshens, and might even cast out demons. Thankfully Closeup came through and sorted out that bad breath issue in a flash. It was a win for me!”
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