Which Nigerian Song Accurately Describes Our Presidential Candidates?

June 8, 2022

Can we all agree that the DJ who kept dropping bops was the best part of last night’s APC convention? While we sat and watched contestant after contestant come on stage to either step-down or drop hot lies, the DJ turned each break into a dance party. Inspired by his incredibly shady playlist, we’ve decided to give each presidential candidate a song that accurately matches their chaotic energy. 

1. Bola Ahmed Tinubu — Buga (Lo Lo Lo) by Kizz Daniel 

This election has given Tinubu more nicknames than your local up and coming rapper. The self-declared kingmaker who’s decided that he must be president before he turns 100, was welcomed to the APC convention stage with “Collect your money. Wake up” from Kizz Daniel’s Buga (Lo Lo Lo), playing loudly. After hearing the lyrics to that song, we’re not surprised other candidates started withdrawing from the race. It’s almost like the ₦100 million they spent in buying the presidential form was shawarma money. 

2. Professor Yemi Osinbajo — Playboy by Fireboy DML 

No other song describes our BDSM king like this banger from Fireboy DML. A true Yoruba demon tune, Professor Yemi Osinbajo is the biggest political playboy of the presidential race. He has the swagger, the white agbada, the sweet mouth and most importantly, the gaslighting tricks. This man promised to change Nigeria and literally give us the moon like he hasn’t been a part of the current government for seven years. We see you, Christian Grey. Ooof!

3. Atiku Abubakar — Stand Strong by Davido 

This has to be Atiku’s morning devotion song. After running for president five times, this man is still standing strong, even though most of us would prefer it if he just sat down. It can’t be that deep, sir. It’s almost like he forgot something in Aso Rock, because why has he been running for president way before we even had Nokia 3310? On Stand Strong, Davido sings about having more than nine lives, which might mean Atiku has three more elections if he loses the one in 2023. Wahala. 

4. Rochas Okorocha — Levels by Flavour 

It’s only in Nigeria that a presidential aspirant will confidently announce at the primaries that less than a week ago, he was in detention based on corruption charges. Rochas came on the stage to shade all the other aspirants and remind them that he was rich before he even went into politics, unlike the other brokies using government funds to run. With that type of energy, there’s no way Levels by Flavour isn’t this man’s theme song. Shade aside, that statement is rich, coming from someone who allegedly stole over ₦2.9 billion from public funds. Glass houses, Rochas, glass houses. 

RECOMMENDED: These Politicians’ Kids Are Taking Over from Their Parents

5. Peter Obi — Gentility by Melvitto and Wande Coal 

Peter Obi definitely listens to Gentitility, and we aren’t talking about the sped-up TikTok version. The former Anambra state governor has moved from vice presidential candidate to presidential aspirant at the PDP and now, Labour Party presidential candidate. He may not have the initial ginger of all the other presidential candidates, but he has managed to become an underdog ahead of the 2023 polls. You can definitely tell that this man recites the lines “Gentitlity oshey stupidity” every time he wakes up. 

6. Nyesom Wike — Free Madness by Terry G 

Is there anyone Nyesom Wike hasn’t fought with? From Bubu to Edo state governor, Godwin Obaseki, this man is famous for giving you gbas gbos if you mistakenly breathe in his direction. Since he lost the PDP ticket to Vin Diesel Atiku Abubakar, we doubt we’ll be seeing that energy in Aso Rock. Either way, Free Madness is definitely his morning alarm song. 

7. Uju Ohanenye — Sweet Mother by Prince Nico

We should’ve known something was wrong when she started her speech by saying,” Naijas”. Where is the “s” from? Who says that? Because her motivation to run hinged on the assumption that Nigeria needs a mother, it feels apt that her official theme song be Sweet Mother by Prince Nico. Thanks for coming ma. 

8. Rotimi Amaechi — Kilometre by Burna Boy

Why Kilometre by Burna Boy? Amaechi was the Minister of Transport, and he also ran a lap around a stadium to prove he’s fit to run for president. We didn’t even have to dig deep for this one. He repeatedly asked delegates not to vote for him if they didn’t think he was qualified. Quick question, sir, are we voting for a president or someone to represent us at the Olympics? 

ALSO READ: Ranked: Top 15 Burna Boy Songs of All Time, According to Album Release

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

May 7, 2021

Twitter went berserk this week after billionaire, Bill Gates and his wife, Melinda, called off their 27-year-marriage. Although the divorce appears amicable, we know a Nigerian divorce between billionaires would have been chaotic.  So on this episode of #JustImagine, we created two fictional characters: Belu and Mide.  Belu’s Ikoyi Mansion. Belu is hiding in his […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

July 4, 2022

When women refuse to follow society’s script, all hell breaks loose. We receive a range of reactions — from parents weeping to random people’s comments — and we’re sick of it. Here’s a list of things you shouldn’t say to women who don’t want kids.

July 4, 2022

Lending people money can be very risky. You have to be ready to fight or say bye-bye to your money for the sake of peace. If you’ve already made the terrible mistake of giving out your hard-earned money, then you can never be too prepared for the process of getting it back. We put together […]

Recommended Quizzes

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

More from Citizen

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X