The Most Annoying Types Of Nigerians On Social Media

January 10, 2019

We can’t say what was going through the minds of the man who made the first social network–a platform called Six Degrees created in 1997. We do know that he definitely couldn’t have foreseen how Nigerians would step into social media platforms like…

As we’ve done with jollof rice, highlife and Vans, Nigerians have left their very delible mark on social media.

But for every set of young creatives showcasing their work to the world with a hashtag, there’s an annoying influencer who can stop tweeting.

These are the most annoying types of Nigerians on social media. Why? Because one minute, you’re watching cringe-worthy IG stories; the next day, you have malaria.

You can’t explain how these things harm people but you can, at least, run from them.

The Twitter Fact Accounts

This one is a bit personal because a popular fact account blocked me. My transgression? Pointing out that one of his facts was incorrect.

I even sent a link to the actual fact, because what use is your fact if it isn’t, you know, factual.

But these fact accounts don’t care. All it takes is for something big to happen like say a concert, and your entire TL is covered in tweets like “Davido is the first musician from Africa to have his music played on the moon”.

The more retweets it gets, the truer it becomes.

The Wannabe Music Journalist

Music was made to be listened to, right? Like just play it, be happy and go.

So I must have missed the memo when every person with an Apple Music subscription decided to analyse every single song and offer their thoughts on why Peruzzi will not blow unless he starts singing Trap.

I just hope you people can add these years of unsolicited consultancy to your CV.

The Full-Time Influencers

Charlie is an influencer. It says so in his bio.

Charlie swears he can get his followers to do anything he wants. Charlie has 17k followers on Twitter – 11k of them live in Hong Kong. He follows 18k.

Each morning, Charlie sends out a series of tweets and IG posts with different hashtags. Then he calls his friends to help him retweet and help his hustle.

Charlie also makes asinine comments about trending topics to extend his influence.

Charlie is a fraud.

The Outrage Merchants

The 22-year-old woman who sees everything done by Nigerian men, including new music from Davido, as an act of patriarchy.

The ‘profeshuna’ who wrote a whole ass thread because someone sent an emoji in a work email.

Some random guy in Ihiala who’s in Wizkid’s comments asking why he doesn’t make music with Igbo artistes.

The Anti-Feminist Warriors

These guys are in a super Whatsapp group where they plan out their activities. Usually, they decide on a mundane topic to talk about, like why today’s women don’t rub their husbands’ stomachs after a heavy meal because of feminism.

They decide which of their leaders will tweet first. Then they all furiously follow up by tweeting about that time they paid for a woman through school and she left them.

After a hard day’s work, each soldier DMs “Hey beautiful” to the same girl he’s been trying to strike a convo with since Sunday Mba won Nigeria the Nations Cup in 2013.

The Merchants Of Gloom

If you don’t like this photo, you will die after three working days. Guess what? I’m still alive, bitch. Geddifok with your negative energy.

Political Twitter

All your employers are thieves, please.

There’s no space for you on any moral high ground.

Tweet your fake news and campaign promises and go.

The People Who Can’t Hide Their Lack Of Home Training

vile on ocial media

One of the best parts about social media is the anon life.

It’s also one of the worst things because it can afford an unnamed pervert from Nowhere, Nigeria the chance to be as vile as he wants–with next to no repercussions.

He’s the one who’s responsible for posting that perverse video on Twitter that you played at work and almost got fired.

He’s the one who quotes all pro-feminism tweets with vile tweets about people’s mothers.

Dun worry though. One day, he’ll tweet a selfie by mistake and we’ll find him.

The Virtue Signallers aka Pick Me Twitter

“I saw a homeless man today. He asked me for money to buy bread but I gave him 60000 naira to rent a place and get a new phone. I’m so grateful that God uses me to help you”

“It hurts me so much to see people living in such poverty. That’s why I make sure my dad pays our gateman enough to have an okay life. So proud.”

“Discussing feminism with my guys and this one says his wife must cook for him. We’re in 2018 bro. I just need my wife to enjoy and use me as her footstool.”

Everybody Else

Yes, that’s right. Because even though most of you have sense, you just do weird things once in a while.

This reminds me of one of my smartest friends who deemed it fit to post a screenshot of his January account balance on Instagram stories.

Proof that silliness befalls everyone from time to time.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

March 20, 2020

Oxlade — “Away” One of the most talented rising stars working today, Oxlade continues to impress with every single thing he does, from infectious singles to standout features. His latest effort, “Away” is certainly no different. On the track, Oxlade sings about a lover he wants to run away with, hoping for a relationship free […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

More from Pop

September 23, 2022

We know some of these plots happen in real life, but we’re tired of seeing them in Nollywood movies. At this point, once you see some signs, it becomes very easy to predict how the movie would end. Please, what happened to suspense in our movies?

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X