Nollywood is many things. Funny, nostalgic, tragic, and sometimes well-acted. But one thing Nollywood is not is realistic when it comes to depicting certain careers.
Reader, sometimes it’s like they don’t even try.
Regardless of how often people in these fields complain, filmmakers seem determined to do whatever they like. From lawyers and doctors, to engineers and architects, no profession has been spared. But because we refuse to be silenced, here is a list of careers that have seen shege in Nollywood’s hands. And before you take this as us just yapping, we spoke to actual people in these fields.
1. Lawyers
Lawyers are probably competing with doctors for the most poorly-depicted careers by Nigerian filmmakers. A classic example is how divorce is portrayed. In most films, a frustrated spouse sends the other some papers and, just like that, the marriage is over and everyone is back on the streets.
I consulted a family law practitioner in Nigeria. He explained: “Under Nigerian laws, the only recognised basis for divorce is that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. And unlike what we see on screen, you can’t trigger a divorce by delivering documents to your spouse. Proceedings must start in court and the decision rests with a judge, not your annoyance.”
2. Nurses
The average Nollywood nurse is a loud ass gossip who always looks raggedy and is so fucking mean, you can’t stop wondering how they got into a career that involves interacting with people. Sure, human behaviour is diverse so this might be true with some nurses, but when it becomes the default way they’re depicted (it’s practically a sitcom trope at this point), it’s just lazy and wildly unfunny.
A qualified nurse I reached out to summarizes the problem perfectly. “Nurses don’t look raggedy the way Nollywood keeps portraying us,” she tells me. “And this idea that we’re always helpless and waiting for a doctor is founded on a faulty stereotype that nurses are not as educated as doctors. We go through rigorous training and are able to handle real emergencies. I am not here running around and shouting, “Doctor, Doctor” when something happens. Nigerian filmmakers need to stop this “olodofication” of nurses and show us as the competent people we are.”
3. Doctors
If you have ever watched a medical scene in Nigerian television or film, please take whatever you see with a generous pinch of salt because it is most likely inaccurate. Childbirth scenes have suffered this the most. From grown ass toddlers with hair and teeth being used to portray newborns to labour scenes that take a few minutes, we have seen it all.
I reached out to a medical practitioner to understand what childbirth actually looks like. “Babies don’t come out looking squeaky clean and the whole process is very messy,” she said. “I understand they’re working with actors, so it can’t be perfect, but the little details matter. It might feel a bit boring, but they can definitely do better.”
And she’s right. While we don’t need graphic realism, a bit more research would go a long way in making these moments accurate.
4. Housewives
Despite what many Nollywood movies suggest, housewives don’t spend their days lounging on the couch with perfect makeup. Being a housewife is a full-time job for many women, involving constant caretaking and managing the household.
A stay-at-home mother I interviewed put it bluntly: “It’s always funny when I watch Nigerian films and stay-at-home moms are shown as doing nothing. That’s a lie. My day usually starts at 5am getting my kids ready for school. Even after dropping them off, it’s back to cleaning, cooking, and preparing to pick them up. No breaks. Holidays aren’t any better because I have to cater to them 24/7.”
5. Business Men
All business executives do in Nollywood is make loud phone calls about how many billions they have, usually with no actual office in sight. Or they’re writing cheques and giving the receptionist one vague assignment. And when they finally show a board meeting, nothing meaningful is ever discussed. Nollywood doesn’t even pretend that zero research went into the script.
It doesn’t take a primary six student to know that’s not how business works. How do I know? I read Femi Otedola’s book. We are not the same. For obvious reasons, I can’t really share.
6. Traditionalists
One thing about Nollywood is that it does not discriminate in its misrepresentation. Everyone gets a turn. Traditional worshippers included. They’re usually portrayed as scruffy, unkempt, and living somewhere inside one suspicious-looking bush. Yes, that might be true for a handful of people, but the stereotype is doing far too much. We also need to talk about how Nollywood basically demonizes traditional worshippers.
For one, not all traditionalists look like a forest priest styled them. This 35 year old traditionalist is proof that they can look normal as well, even better than people who judge them.
