It’s one thing to be broke and you know you’re actually broke with nothing to your name. But then imagine being broke-shamed when there’s money in your account. Where should the fight begin? Even if it’s only ₦5k in your account, as long as you can buy sardine, you’re rich. So how would you feel if someone wrongly broke-shamed you? These five Nigerians shared their hilarious stories with us.
1. “Just because I wore shorts? I hope they close down.”
My guy invited me to go clubbing at Ikeja on a Friday night. I was still a bloody Corper, so I had to turn up after CDS and I couldn’t go home to change. I was driving a tiny silver Matrix then — loved the car, but it was not the best look. I didn’t have time to change before heading to the club, so I had to park in front of the club and change at the back seat of my car. I didn’t have anything else in the car besides a pair of shorts and leather slippers. As I came down from the car, a bouncer at the door was already looking straight at me. I was still walking down with confidence and before I even got to the step, he started shooing me away. Literally giving me this “Bros if you come here” look. LOL. I sha had to turn back so the disgrace wouldn’t be too loud. I went back to my Matrix in shame sha. Just because I wore shorts? I hope they close down.
2. “She told me to think about the fact that I came trekking”
I was at Lekki and saw a necklace in a jewelry store. I didn’t drive that day as I’d decided to take a bus to run errands around. When I entered the store, I asked the attendant about the necklace and she gave me a funny stare. I didn’t care so I picked it up to get a closer look. Next thing, she grabbed it from me and asked if I could afford anything in the store. I couldn’t believe it. She told me to look at the price of the necklace and think about the fact that I came to the store trekking. Omo. There was no one else in the store, but I was so embarrassed. There was no one to complain to at the store that day. I just had to leave — making a scene would have been worse. Luckily, when I went home to complain to one of my girlfriend’s, she was familiar with the store and knew the owner. We complained to the silly girl’s madam who fired her. I got the necklace later that week sha. The woman ended up offering a discount, but I had to pay full price for the sake of my pride.
3. “I just wanted to dance with strippers bro”
“Hennessy 250” is what they used to disgrace me and my ancestors inside the club. I was in my second year in Uni and went out to Club Vegas with a friend. For some reason, we wanted to get in with the strippers at the VIP section. When we got to the door, the bouncer asked us to go back. My guy and I were confused. He just sized up and asked us if we were not secondary school pikins. Baba looked at my original G-shock and actually said “One Hennessy in this place costs more than your plastic G-shock.” Wristwatch that cost me ₦150k? Hm.
4. “Is it because you know we’re going to pay for the food? I was so upset.”
A new restaurant called Four Guys opened up in Abuja, so I decided to go there with my babe. I was bringing my boyfriend and she was bringing her boyfriend as well — never liked him and this double date just broke the camel’s back. We all showed up dressed like the baby boys and girls we are. We got into some light chit chat and the waiter brought the menu. So I ordered a large platter of small chops for us and some tender baby back ribs to kick off the feast I was hoping to get into that evening. As the waiter left, my friend’s boyfriend made a snarky comment, “Is it because you know we’re going to pay for the food?” I was so upset. We laughed it off but It was so insulting for me. After dessert, the waiter brought the bill and I snatched the bill before he handed it to the silly guy. It was ₦130k. Mtshw. I swiped my Gtbank platinum membership card as the sugar mummy that I truly am. Broke babe where?
5. “What is it with Nigerians and looking down on people that want a cheaper option?”
Maybe it was the Nigerian mum in me jumping out, but I had to yell at that sales girl. I walked into a store to buy my son a belt. The sales attendant came in with some options but they were a bit expensive for me at ₦30k each. So I told her to please get me cheaper options so I could buy more than one. She brought some options that were going for ₦9k, but were too big for his waist. I told her to please make more holes so I could go to the cashier to pay. But she just stood there without attending to my request. I asked why she was waiting, and she told me she didn’t think I was a serious customer. I was like, “Pardon?” What is it with Nigerian service people and looking down on people that want a cheaper option? As if they can afford what they’re helping their madams sell.