The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

How long have you been with your partner?

My boyfriend, Justin, and I have been dating since 2019. We’ll have been together for seven years in October 2026.

That’s a considerable amount of time. How did you meet?

We used to live in the same neighbourhood when my parents were still together. Justin was my elder sister’s plug for hair extensions. He had this big shop, and literally everyone in our area bought from him. 

Sometimes, I’d follow my sister to his shop, and he’d jokingly call me, “My wife”. It wasn’t like he was asking me out, though. He was just fond of me. This was around 2018, when I was in senior secondary three (SS3).

That same year, my parents separated after years of constant fights. My mum and siblings moved away to stay with family, but I couldn’t join them because of school. However, I faced a challenge: I had nowhere to stay nearby, and I hadn’t paid my WAEC fees either. Justin learned about the situation and invited me to stay with his sister while I wrote my exam. 

He also paid my WAEC fees and gave me ₦3k weekly to cover my transportation and anything else I needed. It wasn’t like I even needed extra money because his sister fed me, too.

Were there still no relationship talks at this time?

Not at all. He was just like a guardian who paid my bills, and I really appreciated that. After my WAEC, he paid ₦30k/month for my three-month JAMB tutorial lessons. Even after I left his sister’s place and moved in with my mum, he continued to check on me. He gave me my first phone, his old Tecno phone, and we chatted regularly over Facebook and WhatsApp.

He finally asked me out on my birthday in 2019. At this point, I already knew he liked me and was wondering why he didn’t just open his mouth and say it. I first assumed he was much older than me and was shy. Then I discovered it was just an eight-year age gap (which I don’t think is a lot). He wasn’t old; he was just shy. 

Anyway, I accepted his request immediately, and we’ve been together since.

You were about a year out of secondary school at the time. What were your finances like?

This is one aspect I’ll forever appreciate Justin for. I had nothing, no money, no parents to support me, and no idea if I’d even be able to afford to continue my education. But Justin stepped in and handled everything.

He sponsored my university costs, supported me when I needed capital to start my own online hair business, and often helped my family as well. He once gave my mum ₦500k for house rent. 

I recently finished my NYSC and now have a job that pays me ₦300k/month. However, if I ever need money, I only have to call, and he’s ready to help me. He’s a good man. Sometimes when I think about how good he has been to me, I feel incredibly guilty.

Why do you feel guilty?

I’ve been having second thoughts about my feelings for him for a few months. We started living together in 2025, and I’ve noticed some behaviours I’m uncomfortable with. 

For instance, he expects me to do every single house chore. That ordinarily wouldn’t be a problem, but the few times I complained about having to cook twice a day without help, he implied that I could just quit my job since he was already handling all the bills. It’s like he wants me to be a housewife, but I want to work. I’ve heard stories about how women need to have their own money. 

Hmmm

Also, I feel like our emotional closeness has declined. He’s never been the romantic type, and I always told myself I didn’t need romance. But over the years, it’s felt like it’s a big missing piece in our relationship.

I’ve been trying to force him into giving me a pet name for years, but Justin still calls me by my full government name. He loves me in his own way, but to say it is war. I know he had a tough childhood and had to hustle from a young age, but sometimes I just want soft love. He’s just straightforward; no petting or romance. 

Whenever we argue, or I’m angry about something, he’d rather send money than apologise or talk things through. Money is good, but it’s not the answer to everything. I see the way people play with their partners online. Mine is always thinking of business. 

Have you discussed these concerns with him?

That’s all I ever complain about. Nothing changes. I’ve just had to tell myself that it’s not fair to want to force him to change. That’s the way he is. If I love him, I shouldn’t want to make him someone he isn’t. The fact that I’m trying so desperately to change him must mean I don’t love him.

Honestly? I don’t think I really want to be with him. However, I can’t leave. He’s invested so much in me and has been so good to me. It wouldn’t make sense for me to leave him now. Besides, what reasons would I give? He isn’t romantic and wants me to be a housewife? People will judge me for “eating his money” all these years.

So, do you just plan to marry him out of a sense of responsibility?

Putting it that way sounds somehow. I’m just hoping that as I grow older, things like romance will stop being such a big deal to me. Either that, or I grow to accept him for who he is.

Also, it doesn’t appear we’ll get married anytime soon. Justin wants to build his house and change his car before we get married. He already has land, but the economy has been bad for business, and he’s pushed back his building plans to the end of 2026 or 2027. I honestly don’t think he’s in a hurry to marry. I’m not either. 

He also wants me to get pregnant before we get married, but I’m not ready for that, so I’m secretly using contraceptives. I won’t get pregnant until I see him take decisive steps towards a wedding.

Alright then. What kind of money conversations do you both have?

We don’t really talk about our finances. He knows how much I earn, but I don’t ask him how much he has. If I need something, I ask him, and he gives it to me if he has the money. If not, he tells me to hold on till he does. 

He used to give me a monthly allowance when I was in school and during my service year, but that stopped when we moved in together. Now, he just gives me ₦300k monthly for our food expenses, and I ask if I need anything else.

How do dates and gifts work in your relationship?

We don’t do dates. Again, because of the lack of romance issues. He buys me gifts regularly, though. He bought me the iPhone 17 Pro Max when it came out for no reason at all. It wasn’t even my birthday. For me, I usually limit the gifts to his birthdays and during anniversaries.

Do you both have safety nets?

I’m sure Justin has. He’s very business-minded and money-conscious, so I’m sure he has savings somewhere. He also has some land in his village. Me, I’m the spender in the relationship. It’s difficult for me to save because there’s always something to buy. I have like ₦600k in my Piggyvest sha.

What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

Justin wants us to leave the country one day, so that’s probably what an ideal future would be.

Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

NEXT READ: My Wife Doesn’t Like Spending Her Money on Our Family

Follow Zikoko Money on Instagram for relatable stories and actionable insights to help you make the most out of your money.