The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

How long have you been with your partner?

My boyfriend, Francis, and I started dating in July 2025, so that’s about seven months.

How did you meet?

We met when I visited Lagos to attend an older friend’s wedding. The Sunday after the wedding, I attended the couple’s thanksgiving at the groom’s church as well. 

Francis was one of the church’s instrumentalists, and he approached me at the end of the service. He said he liked how well I danced and wanted to be my friend. I was reluctant because of what people typically say about church instrumentalists: how they share heartbreak everywhere. Still, I thought he looked good and decided to give him a chance for the plot. If it didn’t work out, I could say a fine boy broke my heart.

I’m screaming. But he was just offering friendship, right?

Everybody knows “I want to be your friend” is code for “I like you, but I don’t want to say it yet.” Especially when it’s coming from a guy.

I guess I can’t fault that. When did romance enter the picture?

Almost immediately. After exchanging numbers, we chatted on WhatsApp for a couple of days, and then he officially asked me to be his girlfriend. 

I almost didn’t accept because I’d already returned home to Akure. He lived in Lagos, and I’d never tried a long-distance relationship. It helped that he came to Akure to take me out on a date and make a physical version of the girlfriend proposal. I thought that was romantic. 

How have you both been navigating the distance? 

Francis doesn’t let me really feel the distance. He travels to see me here at least twice a month. I live with my sister’s family, but whenever Francis visits, I tell her I’m spending the night with a friend so I can stay with him — he has a friend here who is kind enough to let us both sleep in his room. I have a feeling my sister knows I go to see my boyfriend, but thankfully, she’s pretty cool and doesn’t give me wahala.

Besides visits, we also do a lot of calls and texts. It’s just like a regular relationship; the only difference is all the planning that goes into seeing each other.

Who handles these travel expenses?

Francis does. One trip costs approximately ₦20k to and fro, minus other small expenses like taking bikes and buses within Akure. Sometimes, when he comes around, we go to eateries or the cinema, and he pays for those dates too. However, we mostly stay indoors, and I handle the cooking. 

To be honest, I’ve been trying to get him to cut down on the trips. I know he gets paid to play instruments at the church and also makes money from his freelance graphic design hustle, but I feel the regular trips are a waste of money. He spends at least ₦60k every month on our relationship, and I don’t think he earns more than ₦200k. I can’t imagine spending like that. 

I guess he disagrees with cutting down the trips?

It’s funny. When I raise concerns about money and suggest that he travel only once per month, he’ll actually agree. Then, a few days later, I’ll hear he’s on a bus heading to Akure. He can be quite impulsive like that.

On the one hand, I like seeing him regularly, but on the other hand, I can’t encourage him to come all the time because of the cost. Hopefully, we will find a solution to the distance soon. 

I’m currently on the hunt for Lagos-based jobs so I can have a reason to move and be closer to him. My current job is with a Lagos-based company, but it’s remote. Also, I can’t live comfortably in Lagos on a ₦150k salary. So, I’m hoping to get something with better pay so I can afford rent.

Rooting for you. What kind of conversations do you and Francis have about money?

Recently, it’s mostly been me trying to educate him about the importance of saving and really thinking through financial decisions before making them. 

He’s a very impulsive spender, and I only discovered that about four months ago. Someone at his church gave him ₦500k, and that same day, he used it to trade his phone for an iPhone 14. When he told me what he had done, I was so confused. 

Before that money came, he had been complaining about electricity issues at his place, and I suggested he buy a mini power station for backup. How come the first thought that came to his mind after getting free money was a phone? When I told him that, he was like, “Oh, that’s true. I completely forgot.” 

This is just one example of his money habits, and it’s the one thing about him I’m struggling to get used to because of how very different we are in that regard. I’m a heavy saver. I only spend like 20% of my salary each month and save the rest on Piggyvest. My default setting is to save whatever money enters my hands. It’s strange to be with someone whose default setting is to spend money. 

Do you think the difference in money habits could be a dealbreaker?

It’s mostly just an annoying trait for now, not that it’s affecting our relationship itself. It’s not really a big problem. I imagine we’ll need to address it properly as the years go by. But for now, I’m just doing my best to caution him where necessary. 

You mentioned only spending 20% of your monthly income. Does that include a budget for relationship expenses?

I don’t spend a lot of money in our relationship. Like I mentioned, the most I do is cook for Francis a few times, and the highest I spend is ₦10k. This is probably my own red flag, but I don’t like spending money. 

I like the idea of seeing money in my account, so I only touch my account when it’s absolutely necessary. Also, my salary is quite poor, so I believe it makes sense to limit my expenses as much as possible and build up a safety net while I look for better income options.

Francis is the giver in the relationship. Besides the trips and occasional dates, he sends me airtime and data sometimes, usually around ₦5k. He also buys me small gifts when he visits, like earrings and perfume. 

What does your safety net look like?

I have ₦2.2m in my savings. I’ve been building this since 2022, so it should really be more than that. I’ve had to dip into it a few times to handle emergencies.

Do you know if Francis has a safety net?

I’m sure he doesn’t. I’m still trying to get him to save sef.

What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

It’ll be nice to be able to afford a couple’s vacation outside the country one day.

Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

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