1) Hold your wedding on a Monday morning.
Let them choose between paid employment and begging for souvenirs.
2) Make it a themed wedding.
Tell them the theme is variety and you’d love for everyone to bring their native dish so that we can unite as one Nigeria. That way you don’t have to cook for anyone.
3) Don’t invite one side of the family.
Do a coin toss to see whose side of the family won’t be attending, that way you cut cost.
4) Get married inside this pandemic.
No crowd, no spending.
5) Refuse gifts and accept only cash.
Make sure this is before the wedding so part of this money can foot the cost of the wedding.
6) Find another person getting married on the same day and share a hall.
No need to thank us.
7) Do court wedding and post pictures later on social media.
Tell them it was impromptu if they ask why they were not invited.
8) Pay someone to object when they ask people to speak or forever hold their peace.
Make sure your bride slaps you, runs away, and you run after her. Bye bye suckers. That way you don’t spend on any party.
9) Don’t get married.
The ultimate hack.