Services in Nigeria are designed to frustrate you, from the banking to the transportation services and even the telecommunications services.
Where do I even start from? Is it the drop calls, or the numerous unsolicited messages that pop up at that time you’re waiting for a bank alert? What of the shenanigans of slow and retarded network that can only function at a particular spot in your house even though a mast is so nearby?
There’s so much to complain about but here are seven things that top the list:
1) How data is supposed to last for a month-but doesn’t
This is the king of all lies that we’ve been sold. No matter the data bundle you buy, on whatever network, it is just never enough. If you buy monthly data, prepare yourself for a resubscription within two weeks. Yeah, I don’t know how they do it too.
2) The promo’s that we are not sure anyone actually wins
So, you hear that someone will be rewarded with a car, house, a trip to Dubai and more, if they are loyal customers. But, do people actually win those things? Forget those photo ops we see abeg, I won’t believe it until I win a prize myself.
3) The extra credit/data that is supposed to last a week (or more) but disappears the first time you use it
These bonuses by Nigerian telcos have mastered the vanishing act. You will receive a message that you’ve been gifted with extra talk time or data for a few weeks, only to have it go to zero balance the first time you use it.
4) How they tell you its your fault that something went wrong with network
Remember those drop calls I mentioned? Yeah, this and text messages that remain unsent for days are some of the reasons people call customer care, only for them to hear; “But everything is alright from our end. Are you sure you hit send?”
5) How they make you buy airtime/data multiple times because of “network failure”
Somehow, this happens when you want to recharge through your bank app. If it didn’t work the first time, please don’t do it again. At least wait for 24 hours before you attempt to recharge again, this will give you peace of mind.
6) Customer care agents who leave you hanging with a promise to resolve complaints by calling/texting you back within a day
This is a lie from the pit of hell. They will not call you. I repeat, they will not call you. In fact, you will be cut off while you are speaking with one and then the other agent you dialed within seconds of blind rage will do the same thing. Until you give up and break your SIM card.
7) How each telco promises to be better than the other
They deceived you to port over to their services until you realize you just roped yourself into something much worse. There’s no good anywhere, just manage your bad network like that because they are all the same.