Nigerians have more faith in the Super Eagles to deliver than they have in the federal government. Football is major to us, and our African Giant ego simply won’t let us see other African countries overshadow us. If the Super Eagles emerge as the winners of the 2023 African Cup of Nations (AFCON) come February 11th, you can expect these behaviours.
Main character syndrome
Nigeria hasn’t won yet, but we’re already the loudest when it comes to fan support on X and IG. If we win, you’ll see brags like, “Only two countries in Africa, Nigeria and the rest.”
Claim amapiano boss
After the embarrassment we faced at the Grammy Awards 2023, Naija fans plan to use our AFCON match against South Africa this evening as a metric for who actually owns Amapiano. If we beat Bafana Bafana and go on to win the Cup, Nigerians will make hits about it on Amapiano beats.
Our Valentine Special is here. We brought back three couples – one now with kids, one now married and the last, still best friends – to share how their relationships have evolved in the last five years. Watch the first episode below:
Federal government eye service
The moment the final whistle blows and Nigeria lifts the AFCON cup, trust the federal government to be all up in our faces with “Well done, boys.”
Ugly trad wear
It’s unclear whether the Nigerian Football Federal (NFF) is working with a small budget or they just have a high taste for ugly traditional wear. But we’re sure the Super Eagles’ final celebration aso-ebi will be more disappointing than the trad they wore at the beginning of the tournament.
Peak fooling continua
We’ll use the much-needed win to fool ourselves into forgetting we have a government that needs asskicking.
Guilt-tripping
But there will always be those people who’ll guilt trip others for celebrating the win and remind them about the Nigerian problems we’re trying to escape.
Football kit hike
If we win this tournament, the Nigerian jersey will turn to gold, and vendors will make a fortune off it. Get yours now if you plan to, or these Tinubu prices will surprise you.
