The Wahala Of Living With A ‘Resting Bitch Face’

June 12, 2020

What is ‘Resting Bitch Face’?

Here are 13 things you’ll get if you have this syndrome:

1. When all your extreme emotions look identical:

The struggle.

2. When people think you’re a bad belle because this is how you listen to good news:

I’m actually happy for you.

3. You, whenever people ask “What’s wrong?” or “Are you ok?”

IT’S JUST MY FACE.

4. How people avoid you because they think you are vexing:

Hay God!

5. When people say they thought you were a snob before talking to you.

EVERYTIME!

6. You, wondering if you’ve missed the love of your life because they were too scared to talk to you.

God forbid!

7. When you can’t walk three steps without one stranger asking, “Why you dey squeeze face?”

What is there to smile about? Did you dash me money?

8. What you look like when you actually make an effort to smile.

A for effort, biko.

9. When people stop giving you gist halfway because they think you’re uninterested.

Hian! Should I be shining teeth on top amebo?

10. When you talk and people just assume you’re being sarcastic.

Ugh! Stress.

11. When even your mother always thinks you’re being rude.

See me see trouble.

12. How people react when they find out you’re actually nice:

I don’t blame you.

13. How you feel when you finally find a kindred spirit:

Let us frown together.

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