If you find yourself in any of these seven categories, just know that you’re one step away from doing bambiala on the streets with a bucket.
1. You’re always outside
This is a safe space, so be honest. Are you really outside for premium enjoyment or did your landlord send you packing?
2. You’re not paying tithe
Don’t allow Mummy G.O catch you. Better pack the money to her church on Sunday so it can increase. By now, if you check the list of people already going to hell, you’re already there. But at least try and make sure you’re not going to suffer here too before you enter hell fire.
3. You’ve not done your 2021 appraisals yet
If you’re a slave to capitalism, are you sure you’re safe this year? If things go south, do you have any savings or will you be spending 2022 under a bridge?
4. You’re dating an Abuja big boy/girl
You’re just one phone call away from lending them the money to lock down a hooge deal. Just make sure they’re not living in a borrowed car first because nobody will put money in your Gofundme.
5. Your read receipts are off
If you can’t use your full chest to turn on your blue ticks, then you’re probably owing money you can’t return without suffering.
6. You dine in Lagos restaurants
If you’re out on the streets of Lagos enjoying spaghetti bolognese and creamy pasta every week, you’re only one step away from packing your bags to the village.
7. You can only imagine enjoyment
In December you were shouting, ”Don’t worry about my destiny,” now, you can only afford memories of enjoyment. It is well.