Zikoko hears the commotion on the other side of the hotel room door before it opens and NEPA enters.
Zikoko: Are you not hot?
Nepa: Is that how they greet your elders where you’re from?
Nepa takes the seat opposite Zikoko.
Zikoko: You’re wearing agbada and fila in this heat? The greeting can wait, Sir.
Nepa: Small heat that is outside?
Zikoko: The heat is inside, too.
Nepa: Where? My friend, blast the AC and let us hear word.
Zikoko: With which light?
Nepa: Ehn, if there’s no light you can on your gen nau. Abi, are you a JJC?
Nepa opens a bottle of champagne and pours himself a glass which he offers to Zikoko.
Nepa: You want?
Zikoko: I want us to talk about the light issue.
Nepa: There’s no issue. We’re just on a small break.
Zikoko: Ehn?
Nepa: Don’t they go on breaks in your office?
We have gone off. If you people don’t like it, go and hug a transformer.
Zikoko:
Nepa: Relax! There’s no light. Nothing will happen to you. The whole system is doing one kind because of the contract staff we hired. Give us some time, and we’ll be back.
Zikoko: Like how long?
Nepa:
Ehn, some time. It’s not like I don’t want to work o. It’s just that I’m a very busy man.
Zikoko: Even right now that you’re on a break?
Nepa: Of course.
He takes a sip of his champagne.
Nepa: I’m into import and export, supply and demand.
Zikoko: Then, supply us with electricity nau
Nepa: Come, don’t make me angry. I said we have gone on a break. When you people were going on your December break, shebi, they allowed you.
Zikoko: So you decided to go on your break in February when they’ve dragged us to sit at Satan’s right hand in hell?
Nepa: God forbid. You and who are sitting with Satan? Look, I am Nepa, I can do whatever I want. Plus, the national grid needs to rest. Shebi you people kept complaining that it was breaking down. I’ve given him a break. You’re welcome.
Zikoko: But the heat and lack of electricity is almost as bad as that Indomie and bread combo.
Zikoko pauses and looks around.
Zikoko: How does this place even have light? Is it gen?
Nepa: Generator? In my building? No o. Steady power supply.
Zikoko: If you’re giving this place electricity, then share some with the rest of the country. Do you like how they’re insulting you?
Nepa: Insulting who? They’re not insulting me o. They’re insulting “the Neps”.
Zikoko:
Sir, why did you ask me to come here?
Nepa: That’s the question you should’ve started with. You’d have saved us all this back and forth.
They hear a knock at the door.
Nepa: Ehen, he’s here. Come in.
The door opens and a man walks in with a big carton in his hand.
Zikoko: Did it get hotter in here?
Zikoko fans themselves. furiously. Nepa looks up at the man.
Nepa: You’re always doing too much. Zikoko meet Heat.
Heat:
Zikoko: Ehn? What does that even… Why is he even…
Nepa: Shebi you people are looking for who to insult? Insult him.
Nepa gets up and brings the content of the box out one by one.
Nepa: Me, I’m just selling my generator batteries.
Zikoko:
Nepa: Any type you want, I have it.
Zikoko: This… this is what you brought me here for? This is what you left your job for?
Psst! Have you seen our Valentine Special yet? We brought back three couples – one now with kids, one now married and the last, still best friends – to share how their relationships have evolved in the last five years. Watch the first episode below:
