With the way Nigeria is currently set up, you don’t need to stress too much to eat the rich; they’re all around you. The question is, are you paying attention to their odogwu spending ways?
If anyone you know effortlessly ticks one or more off this list, they’re the Eri Mus of these harsh times cosplaying as regular citizens.
They watch television
Do they have time for TV in Tinubu’s Godforsaken economy? That means they’re not as poverty-stricken as your poor self. Hold them.
And have TV subscriptions
So, not only do they spend potentially billable hours watching TV, they also pay hard-earned Nigerian naira to watch Tyler Perry pour watercolour on two adults mid-coitus? It’s giving “My money grows like grass”.
You still hear the sound of their generator
The new class of poor Nigerians removed their hands from anything petrol since Tinubu removed the fuel subsidy. So, if you still hear the sound of their generator, they’re the new class of Billionaire Onye Ji Cash.
They order private cabs
Chale, have you seen the ride estimates on private cabs these days? If your friend shows up anywhere in a rickety 2009 Toyota Camry, they’re rich AF. You better hold their trozzis.
They eat turkey
A kilo of turkey now sells for about ₦6000. For context, here’s a short list of what you can get with that amount right now: Paint bucket of garri (₦2k), half-crate of egg (₦1750), Bag of pure water (₦400), half kilo of shawa fish (₦1500), and you still get ₦350 change.
Do we still need to tell you why they’re rich AF if they eat turkey?
They still use cooking gas
Anyone who can afford ₦7500 or ₦15k for 6kg/12kg cooking gas right now is well on their way to displacing Dangote on the Forbes list. If this person is someone you know, table your problems in front of them because they fit run am!
They can afford foreign rice
So, it’s not just that they eat the most expensive staple in Nigeria right now, they also choose to buy the foreign variety. Listen, add them to your fine bara list right now.
Take this quiz: If You Get 12 on This Quiz You’re Rich AF
