Have you ever been in a situation where you’re out having a good time and some random person just asks if you’re married (even though they most likely already know the answer)? If you’ve ever been in this situation and didn’t know how to fire back, here are some responses you can go with next time that will make the nosy person’s head spin.


Ask them what that has to do with anything. So you’re married, and so bloody what? Is it a union or a prison? Remind them that it’s really not that big of a deal. It’s just a certificate and a ring. 

Just a little bit 

How can anyone blame you for cheating when you’re just a little bit married? Basically, you have just one leg in the marriage, and are free to wander and philander around Lagos with the other leg.. If they ask what it means to be a little bit married, tell them to take your answer like that and redirect their focus to the love you have for them. 

What exactly do you mean by “married”? 

Turn the tables around and interrogate the person. What exactly do they mean by “married”? And yes, it’s a compulsory exam question worth 20 marks. There are many ways to go around a marriage. This is the time to be smart and find that loophole. 

Marriage? What does that even mean? 

It’s time for you to act like your brain is empty. Marriage? What a foreign concept! All you know is that you’re single and ready to mingle. Anyone that claims to be married to you is obviously delusional. 

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Are any of us truly married? 

Very important question. Who created these laws of marriage in the first place? Were Adam and Eve married? No. It’s high time we all learned to live on vibes and vibes alone. 

But I’m here 

Remind them that despite your alleged partner, you are here with them,professing your love, and that’s all that matters. Every other thing is noise. What else do they even want from you? If this isn’t true love, we don’t know what else it could be. 

Is it your business? 

Anybody who asks about your marital status in public clearly doesn’t mean you well. They were probably sent  by your village people to embarrass you. It’s only right that you tear your singlet and fight because they clearly want  violence.

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Why are they boxing you in? That’s very disrespectful. It’s time for you to shut down naysayers challenging the validity of your single-hood. Saying you’re married is like an attack and you have to dismiss these accusations to avoid further embarrassment.


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