After almost 40 days and 40 nights, January is finally coming to an end.
Knowing that most of you love to live fake lives, we can bet that the end of January will mark your last day in the gym even after all the “New year, new me” gra-gra you were doing. While working out is hard AF, it comes with a lot of perks. We decided to compile a list of benefits that might inspire you to maintain your gym ginger for at least another three months.
1. You did this quitting shit last year already, change.
In 2021, you joined the gym in January and didn’t even wait for the month to end before you ran away. Now, here you are again in 2022 about to do the same thing. Are you not ashamed of yourself? Are you not embarrassed? If you want to join, join. If not, stay at home and eat your semo like the heathen that you are.
2. So you can fight your boss when they delay your salary
This one is very necessary. If you work in an office where they keep owing you salary, we advise you to summon up courage and fight your boss. To do this effectively, you have to be fit. If you beat them once, chances are your salary will never come late again.
3. Time to frustrate your ex
You see that ex that showed you pepper? It’s time to give them revenge body. One of you will have to deactivate their socials because the internet will not be able to contain both of you.
4. Win back your ex
We know some of you, they’ve used rope to tie your destiny. So if your goal is to go back to your ex and win their affection, a new gym body might just do the trick. If they break up with you again, you can channel your hot tears into more reps at the gym. Either way, you win .
5. So you can last longer in bed
Research carried out by people who fornicate regularly seem to indicate that people who work out tend to last longer in bed. Yes, that’s the one you like abi? We’re not surprised. If you’re looking for marathon sex in 2022, we’ll suggest you run a marathon on the treadmill first. Simple arithmetic, that is the figure eight.
6. Starting an Onlyfans
2022 is about income diversification; banker by day, Onlyfans entrepreneur by night. If you need the motivation to stay in the gym, think of all the cold hard foreign currency you’ll be getting from being a lirru bit spicy on the interwebs.
7. Summer 2022 is for crop tops
If I don’t start wearing crop tops by June this year, call me a — never mind.
8. So you can fight conductors for change
We’re not taking nonsense this year. It’s time to rack conductors that keep trying us because honestly, enough is enough. If you go to the gym and get big muscles, they won’t even have the liver to try you in the first place.