You know what’s worse than WhatsApp groups with members who send type ‘what’s up’ as ‘xup’? Family Whatsapp groups. You think your mum and dad sending you fake news BCs about poisonous apples stresses you out. Imagine getting a dozen of those BCs and more from different aunts, uncles, and cousins every single day. If you have a typical Nigerian family, then we can better that these are the members of your family Whatsapp group.
The cousin that always has something good going on in his life. If they are not promoting him at work, they are giving him scholarship for his Phd.
It’s not as if you are a hater o, you are happy for her. But she’s the reason your parents have been waking you up with does Cousin Tola have two heads texts at 3 am.
The Uncle that is in the overseas and makes sure nobody on the group chat forgets.
He’s always sending pictures in winter coat and replying messages with ‘innit’ and ‘ya man’.
Your spiritual Aunty that’s always sending prayer BCs and videos of people who went to hell and came back.
There’s no day you don’t wake up to messages telling you to ‘repent for the kingdom of God is at hand’.
There’s the Aunty that’s always asking for you as if you are owing her money.
Everyday everyday where is Sikemi, does she want you to be marking attendance in the morning?
The Aunty that lives in the abroad and can send 20 100mb videos in one day.
Please please data is cost here, act accordingly.
The cousin who keeps leaving the group chat by ‘mistake’ and the Uncle who keeps adding him back.
Where do you think you are going?
That sweet Aunty who always remembers every single member’s birthdays, anniversaries etc.
Who needs Facebook when you have her?
The cousin who is younger than you and is always saying nonsense on the group just because he’s in the overseas.
He’s the one that told your Aunty to please stop sending BCs. You don’t have respect abi?
The Uncle who is always upset and only comes to the group chat to report other family members.
No day goes by without someone in the group offending him. The last time it was because they didn’t reply the BC he sent.
The joker that’s always posting dry jokes that no one laughs at.
When no one replies he’ll wait a couple of days and sending the joke again.
The Aunty that always has something to advertise, every new month she has a new business venture to advertise.
No Aunty I’m not interested in this your business that sounds like MMM but is supposedly not MMM.
The one who is always policing everyones DPs.
You’ll change DP and wake up to a new message – Tola is only irresponsible people that wear this hat you are wearing in your dp.
Then there’s you who never contributes anything except it’s someone’s birthday.
We are sure you’ve even muted the group for one year.
At the end of the day, you can’t help but have a hate-love relationship with your family group chat. Because as annoying as it gets, nothing feels better than being able to easily connect with the whole family.
Are you tired of waiting for a promotion that doesn’t seem to be coming? We get it, and that’s why we made this guide to getting one. 1. Work hard Work very hard. Show up at work before everybody. Do their work and yours too. You can even go on public holidays to show them […]
In this quiz, we’ll ask you seven simple questions, and at the end we’ll be able to accurately tell your relationship status. Think we’re lying? Try it here:
The subject of this week’s What She Said is a 50-year-old woman who dated her ex-husband for 12 years and was married to him for 14 years. She talks about leaving him after years of being manipulated, the joy that comes from being a single woman again and life as a divorced Christian woman.
If you are a student of the UniBen, then here are some things you definitely understand how they work. They are not new to you, and you are not new to them. 1) Shouting don’t pour when you want to cross the gutter in the hostel If you enter the hostel and you want to […]
If you are part of the ‘’I want what Zikoko writers are on’’ bandwagon, then this article is 100% for you. It’s a short and easy guide to joining us. 1.Tweet your journo request every day. Yes, this is step one. If you want to talk to people who have turned to yam and are […]
We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]
There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]
2020 is almost over, and while we spent most of the year indoors, we are sure that didn’t stop y’all from increasing your body count. So, we’ve created a quiz that knows how many people you slept with this year. Take to find out:
We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:
Last week, we created a viral quiz that tested your knowledge on the capitals of all 54 African countries and y’all did pretty great. Now, we want to see how well you know the flags of those same countries. Give it a shot:
“OMG, I love Zikoko.” We hate to break it to you, but only the true lovers of Zikoko can score 10 out of 10 on this quiz. We’ll definitely catch you here if you’ve been trying to scope us all the while. Oya take the quiz. Psst! Did you know you can contribute as low […]
Everyone is secretly the product of an old Nollywood couple combination. Take this quiz to find out which old Nollywood couple combination you secretly are.
Last weekend was truly a celebration of love as Union Bank x BellaNaija Weddings made dreams come true with a free surprise proposal for one couple and an all-expenses-paid wedding for another couple! And just like that. Notey Akpotive and Obiora Chibuzor are now onestep closer to their happily ever after, thanks to Union Bank x BellaNaija Weddings […]
February 14 started calmly in Lagos, just as in every other part around the world until suddenly, Twitter started getting hot. What is it again today, oh ye restless soldiers of Twitter? The heat started getting really hot. Well, as the amplifier of the voice of the African youth, we had to take a peep […]
Christmas is an annual celebration of the birth of Christ, characterized by gifting, being around friends and relatives, and making beautiful memories. 5 Nigerians share their most memorable Christmas experiences with us
IJGBs) are now in town to remind us that the weather in Heathrow in different from the one in Honolulu. While IJGBs have knowledge of worlds, we have knowledge of words. Here are six slangs IJGBs have to learn to blend in.
December 1st is World AIDS Day. It is a day to raise awareness about AIDS. We spoke to Doctor Opeyemi, to tell us some facts about the disease, common misconceptions and how to care for people living with AIDS. 1) AIDS AIDS (Acquired Immuno Deficiency Syndrome) is the late stage manifestation of the viral infection […]
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
Z! Stacks
Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
In this quiz, we’ll ask you seven simple questions, and at the end we’ll be able to accurately tell your relationship status. Think we’re lying? Try it here:
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