We Know All The Members Of Your Family Whatsapp Group

December 16, 2018
You know what’s worse than WhatsApp groups with members who send type ‘what’s up’ as ‘xup’? Family Whatsapp groups. You think your mum and dad sending you fake news BCs about poisonous apples stresses you out. Imagine getting a dozen of those BCs and more from different aunts, uncles, and cousins every single day. If you have a typical Nigerian family, then we can better that these are the members of your family Whatsapp group.

The cousin that always has something good going on in his life. If they are not promoting him at work, they are giving him scholarship for his Phd.

It’s not as if you are a hater o, you are happy for her. But she’s the reason your parents have been waking you up with does Cousin Tola have two heads texts at 3 am.

The Uncle that is in the overseas and makes sure nobody on the group chat forgets.

He’s always sending pictures in winter coat and replying messages with ‘innit’ and ‘ya man’.

Your spiritual Aunty that’s always sending prayer BCs and videos of people who went to hell and came back.

There’s no day you don’t wake up to messages telling you to ‘repent for the kingdom of God is at hand’.

There’s the Aunty that’s always asking for you as if you are owing her money.

Everyday everyday where is Sikemi, does she want you to be marking attendance in the morning?

The Aunty that lives in the abroad and can send 20 100mb videos in one day.

Please please data is cost here, act accordingly.

The cousin who keeps leaving the group chat by ‘mistake’ and the Uncle who keeps adding him back.

Where do you think you are going?

That sweet Aunty who always remembers every single member’s birthdays, anniversaries etc.

Who needs Facebook when you have her?

The cousin who is younger than you and is always saying nonsense on the group just because he’s in the overseas.

He’s the one that told your Aunty to please stop sending BCs. You don’t have respect abi?

The Uncle who is always upset and only comes to the group chat to report other family members.

No day goes by without someone in the group offending him. The last time it was because they didn’t reply the BC he sent.

The joker that’s always posting dry jokes that no one laughs at.

When no one replies he’ll wait a couple of days and sending the joke again.

The Aunty that always has something to advertise, every new month she has a new business venture to advertise.

No Aunty I’m not interested in this your business that sounds like MMM but is supposedly not MMM.

The one who is always policing everyones DPs.

You’ll change DP and wake up to a new message – Tola is only irresponsible people that wear this hat you are wearing in your dp.

Then there’s you who never contributes anything except it’s someone’s birthday.

We are sure you’ve even muted the group for one year.

At the end of the day, you can’t help but have a hate-love relationship with your family group chat. Because as annoying as it gets, nothing feels better than being able to easily connect with the whole family.

Toketemu Ohwovoriole

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